Sorry for the wait ladies and gentlemen. I've been busy with finals. And I'm about to disappoint again too. This will probably be the last update for a few weeks, at least until school starts back again. I have no internet at home, so naturally I won't be able to update while I'm away from school. Don't life just suck balls? Well, here's the next chapter. Hope it's good enough to hold you over until next time.

I watch quietly as Alyssa eats, taking her time. I figure she's trying to eat in a way where she could actually keep the food in her stomach. Anora was always throwing up everything but the simplest broths with her two pregnancies.

"Staring is rude Alistair." Alyssa mumbles over her cup of water.

I shiver as my name rolls off her tongue. During the Blight it had never ceased to amaze me that something so simple as saying my name could have such profound effects on me. Apparently, time did not help to cure me.

"It's been eleven years, Alyssa. I think I can stare at you for the time that you're here. I assume you'll be gone before I blink. Just give me that."

She rolls her eyes. I look up, suddenly aware that we were not alone. A pair of servants stood quietly in the corner, kneading bread at a table near the fire. Who knows what they would've heard if Alyssa hadn't told me. I'm glad I can still read her subtle cues. I guess life at court had some advantages.

"Would you care to see where Duncan was housed while he was here?" I ask.

"Very well."

She stood, slowly and with difficulty. I hold out a hand to help her, but she shuffles just out of reach. That's the second time she's refused to let me touch her. It stung.

I don't say anything about the snuff, but turn and start walking through the castle, explaining as I went, "I've kept him near me most of the time so I could watch him, but at times such as now when I couldn't have him near I've had guards following him around. Anora hasn't tried anything yet, despite there being no way to deny that he's my son. I think she's waiting to see what will happen."

"I tell you now Alistair, if she moves against me or him I will kill her, royalty be damned."

"I'm not surprised. You act as if you haven't been singing the 'royalty be damned' song since before I met you. The whole of Ferelden has to know of your distaste of nobility."

I look at her. She didn't say anything but there was a slight curve in her lips. I'm one of the few people able to read her so well. I remember how others would get so confused as to what she was thinking they'd just come ask one of her companions.

It had been especially fun to watch Anora struggle with Alyssa's sly front. Anora had practically squirmed with confusion whenever she was around Alyssa. Of course, Alyssa chopping off Anora's father's head did nothing to help either. I smile. I couldn't help it. Anora had always been so haughty and arrogant, it had been a pleasure to see her brought down by Alyssa.

"Something funny?" Alyssa asks. My smile widened. She's always curious to find things out. It was a blast to drive her mad.

"Oh, just fond memories."

There it is. That little twich in her lips that says she's annoyed. Oh, and there's the pout. So lovely.

"Here we are. Please, have a seat."

She did, picking my favorite chair in the process. I wonder at that. Was it sheer chance? Probably not. When I had asked her – back during the Blight – why she always picked the furniture I liked to sit in, she claimed it was because it smelled like me. I don't bring it up. I shut the door for privacy and sit in a less comfortable chair.

Looking at her now, it slowly starts to sink in. Questions pour from my mouth.

"Where have you been? What have you been doing? Why didn't you tell me about Duncan?"

She visibly flinches on the last one. I bite off whatever else I had been about to say. The energy went out of her, and she slumped in her chair, her face tired and pained. I could not tell if it was from me or the babe in her belly.

"First, I didn't tell you because there is obvious danger to a bastard child of royalty."

I flinch, but that didn't stop me for long. "Alyssa, if you had told me he wouldn't be a bastard! He'd be a true heir! The only reason I turned you away eleven years ago was because Grey Wardens couldn't have children. You should have come straight to me when you knew about him!"

"Alistair, none of this would've happened if you'd have had faith in my birthing in the first place!"

"Faith doesn't breed heirs!"

"Neither does ignorance! You should have known I could've bore children by the simple fact that I still suffered my moon time every month!"

This was a slap in the face. What she said was true. There were many nights when I would wake in the dead of darkness and find her at the fire, cleaning bedding she had stained in her sleep. Many times during the Blight no one did anything, because her cramps seized her hard and she wouldn't be able to move. It was at these times that I had felt the most useless, because I had been ignorant of women's ways. Sten would often go searching for herbs that specifically helped in the easing of the pain from her moon time, and Zevran had stepped in to fill Tamlen's shoes, helping her to change her wrappings and wash her clothes and bedding when she had bled through them. I hadn't known what to do, so I just sat outside her tent, cursing as she whimpered in pain and burning with jealousy when Zevran would comfort her.

I hadn't thought to ask Wynne about it until we had reached Denerim and were preparing for the landsmeet.

Reality of my ignorance brought me back to the present, and I see nothing but my betrayal in her eyes. Tears well in my eyes. I put my face in my hands to try to hide it, but there was no way she missed it.

It was silent for a while, and I calmed down. I wiped my face and checked my reflection in a nearby mirror. It was obvious. My eyes were swollen and red, and I appeared to be on the verge of crying again. I rub my forehead.

Alyssa made a small whimpering noise I knew well.

"Are you hurt?" I ask immediately.

"N-no." she manages to stammer.

"Don't lie to me."

"I didn't. I'm not hurt. It's the babe. Neither Duncan nor Verenala gave me as much trouble as this one, and Duncan was a lot of trouble to carry. This babe can never seem to get comfortable."

The babe was moving in her. An overwhelming impulse gripped me. Anora had never let me touch her while she was with child. Claimed I might give her bad luck and cause her to lose the child.

"May I?" I ask quietly, my eyes suddenly drawn to her swollen belly.

She was quiet for a time, then whispered, "Sure."

I drop to my knees in the floor and scoot over next to her chair. I pause for a moment, then reach and splay both hands out over her stomach. I nearly covered her stomach, despite her being so large with child. Elves were so much smaller than humans.

For several seconds, nothing happened. Then I felt little nudges under both hands. Strong little nudges too. Some strangled noise of amazement escapes me, and I realize I'm crying again. I can't believe how something so small could bring a full grown man to his knees.

Sure, I'm wrapped completely around every finger and toe on both my daughters, but I hadn't been allowed to touch them for several months after their birth. Anora always thought I would drop them.

But feeling the promise of a child before it's even born? That was amazing.

"Alyssa you have no idea what this means to me. Thank you. This is a miracle."

"Surely it is not so astonishing. Didn't you feel your daughters when they grew?"

I shake my head.

"Oh." She whispered. "I'm sorry Alistair."

I lean forward and put my cheek on her stomach. The babe was still kicking, as if it were fighting something. After a particularly hard kick catches me on a sensitive spot on my temple, I lean up and claim, "That's no babe, that's a Mabari you've got in there!"

Alyssa laughs, loud and clear and strong, and I smile, glad I could still make her laugh.

"Aye, it does seem that way. Despite all the problems I had with Duncan, he was at least a quiet baby!"

"You had problems with Duncan?" I ask. "Were they because of me?"

She sobered up quickly. "In part. Duncan was such a large baby. I had trouble carrying him. Later in the pregnancy I couldn't even walk on my own. The maid helping me with the birth was for sure we were both going to die. But, the Creator gave me the strength to push him on out. I didn't have enough to feed him either. We couldn't afford a wet nurse at the time so I turned him over to the first Mabari female that I had bred to Kane. She had had her first litter of pups two weeks before. We were lucky. He would've died otherwise."

"What were the other problems?" I ask, not really sure I wanted to hear about them.

"Oh, there were plenty. Mostly with children being cruel to him, calling him a bastard and picking at him for being so odd." She sighed. "If only he had been born with rounded ears he could pass for a human. It's such a shame he has to be caught in the middle like that."

"I'm sorry Alyssa."

"What's done is done. There's no going back to change it. Best to just make the most of it and let it be."

I'm quiet for a while, with my hands still splayed against Alyssa's trembling belly. The babe would be a fighter that was for sure.

"Who've you been with since you left?"

Duncan mentioned a father, and I had already noticed the gold band around her third left finger.

"Zevran. We were travelling together for some time and one day he asks, 'When is your moon time? We should get herbs soon.' Well, naturally I blurted out that my moon time hadn't come for a while, so he asked me when the last one I had had was, and I told him before you and I had shared my tent."

"You actually told him that?"

She sniffed. "Yes, I did. Although there was much stammering and blushing at the time. He immediately took me to the nearest town where we found a nurse. She poked and prodded me for a few minutes then stated that yes, I was pregnant. She was real nice about it too. Gave me and Zevran congratulations."

I couldn't see Alyssa going through the conversation of explaining that she actually bore another man's child, but I let that one go.

"Well, we immediately set out for the Antivan countryside. Zevran had a little cottage there, though it was nearly falling in from neglect by the time we got there. Zevran fixed up what he could, then started taking contracts from the Crows again to support us. He would often leave me with a young girl from down the street while he was away. Once my pregnancy advanced, however, and I started having trouble, he took fewer contracts, and what he did take were always within three days of the house."

"He was a good man. Few others would do what he did."

"He did more than that though, and here was where I was truly blessed. When Duncan came, Zevran took one look at him and it was as if Duncan had been his son all along. Zevran loved us both, despite the circumstances."

We were silent for the longest time after that. I don't know how much time passed. After a while, Alyssa yawned.

"Get some rest. I'll make sure nothing happens to Duncan. He should be back here after supper. Try to go easy on him."

She snorts but a smile was playing at the corners of her lips. She gets up and moves to the bed as I step out into the hall and close the door.

I had a lot to think about.