All your fault

Disclaimer: Oh how I want Jack!

Summary: After being marooned the two captains get adapted to it- more or less.

Jack Sparrow spent the next day exploring the island (a.k.a. searching for hidden rum, hollow trees, secret rooms, rum or anything else than Barbossa and rum stashes). He was too relaxed with this marooned-thing for Jack. He suspected something.

Barbossa, his arch-nemesis, first mate, captain, betrayer and what -else was walking bare-footed at the shore, pants rolled up to his knees. The coat laid next to his boots and other effects. He only kept the cutlass and his telescope. And the hat. You could think he was on holiday.

Accompanied by Monkey-Jack he stabbed even a few fishes. The man WAS enjoying this. Jack was just like a very talkative fly to him - annyoing, but it could be ignored.

Jack was pissed. He should be the one to keep a cool head, to develop a plan, to flee from here, take his Pearl back., kick the mutineer´s ass to Europe and search the fountain of Youth.

Instead he was watching his arch-nemesis who was talking to his pet monkey strolling at the beach. To make it all worse Jack thought everytime he heard "Jack" that Barbossa was talking to him. Confusing.

Jack thought now that killing Barbossa would not make sense (Oh, and how much sense it would make for him) because this man, so infuriating it was, had built a little camp for himself and Monkey-Jack, used his monkey (like the knight´s used trained falcons) for hunting, and had developed the creepy ability to knock coconuts from palmtrees which stood all around the island.

Jack wanted to make his own camp (Camp Jack) at the opposite side of the island, but the crocodiles who were living there were not particulary fond of that idea. Jack used Plan B now: Use every oppurtunity to mock/threaten Barbossa to make him act normal again.

Then he could finally kill him for good, keep a good conscience about it and develop a good plan. Having your nemesis only half a mile away (a happy, confident, relaxed man who resembled Barbossa so little Jack thought that Barbossa must have hit his head and that´s why acted like that) does no good for fleeing plans.

Jack had to get his life standards back to normal. And this Barbossa did so NOT fit in there. It felt not right. It was constantly nagging him. What was Barbossa planning? What devilish plan had he in mind to make Jack act like an idiot? When would his mask crack and reveal the real barbossa he used to know?

Jack had to make him normal again -he would have no peace for other activities when he was overly suspicious about Barbossa. (Of course he was suspicious about him, but that used to be normal suspicion against the man who took his ship. Now it was creepy-awaiting the unavoidable- suspicion. And Jack did not like that)

He developed some plans to bring normal Barbossa back.

His first plan was to wait until one of the coconuts Barbossa knocked frequently from the trees would land on Barbossa´s head and make him normal again. Then they could plot/fight/kill each other/escape/do anything besides what they were doing now. But Barbossa had to be allied with the nuts here, they only fell directly to his feet and he cut them open.

Plan 2 was to simply throw a coconut at Barbossa´s head. But Monkey-Jack caught him on a tree and gave him a deranged/threatening/maniacal grin and Jack thought of

Plan 3: Knock Barbossa with an oar over the head. But he had no oar. It was maddening. On the second day (Barbossa spent the night in his selfmade hut, Jack spent the night on a tree evading the corcodiles) Jack knew his condition was getting worse.

His shoulder angel and his shoulder devil had reappeared. He believed them stuck at the Flying Dutchman, but they were here to haunt him. "You could make friends with him,you know, you suffer the same fate." "Nah, kill ´im!" "You were both dead, I bet you could get along well." "He took the Pearl, kill him!" Jack sunk into denial.

There are no little Jack´s on my shoulders. I don´t see grinning crocodiles. I´m not slowly getting mad.I´m not rum deprived. Barbossa´s not marooned here. I´m not stuck on an island with my arch-nemesis who is a happy, good man now. I´m not inventing plans to bring back an evil guy who stole my ship. I´m not rum deprived. Monkey´s not stalking me. I did not found the dead savage body last night. There ware no cannibals on this island. I´m not rum deprived.


Author´s talk: Jack´s getting slowly mad here...at least more mad then he already is. Maybe I should look more through Barbossa´s eyes...maybe not