I don't own X-Men Evolution or How To Train Your Dragon.
We cut to the high seas at dawn and see a painted dragon, with a sword run through it. It's the billowing sail of Wolverine's ship. Wolverine hovers over the familiar nautical map - his eyes on the uncharted corner, swirling in mist and illustrations of dragons.
"I can almost smell them. They're close. Steady." Wolverine says the sea water messing with his nose a little.
Wolverine raises his gaze to... an epic fog bank courtesy of Storm, towering from sky to sea like a bruised, daunting curtain, beyond which nothing is visible. The three ships drift alongside it, skirting its solid edge, looking for an opening. On deck the crewmen mill nervously, all too aware of what Wolverine is considering.
"Take us in." Wolverine says and the helmsman steers Wolverine's ship into the fog. The men draw their weapons, prepping for the worst.
"Hard to port... for Helheim's gate." A Viking says ready to run home screaming.
The first ship disappears into the whiteout, followed by the other two. Suddenly a flash of light. A silhouette of a dragon. Hollers. Sounds of splitting and shattering wood. Plunges into the water. Another bright flash.
We cut to a close up on a dragon painted onto a shield. Rogue runs her finger over its outline.
"You know, I just happened to notice the book had nothing on Rebels. Is there another book? Or a sequel? Maybe a little Rebel pamphlet?" Rouge asks not focusing on her lesson
KABLAM! A blast takes the axe head off of Rogue's hilt, leaving a smoking hole behind her. Rogue yelps and runs.
"FOCUS Rogue! You're not even trying." Forge yells off screen as we zoom back to reveal a Deadly Spyke, loose in a maze-like arrangement of moveable walls. Forge calls orders from above.
"Today... is all about attack." Forge continues as the Spyke hops from wall to wall, sending the recruits scurrying.
"Spykes are quick and light on their feet. Your job is to be quicker and lighter." Forge says as the teens move in, stumbling over Rogue and her unwieldy shield.
The Spyke spots Scott's rear hiding behind a wall. It whips its tail of spikes. Scott screams and lifts an entire wall to shield himself from the spray.
"I'm really beginning to question your teaching methods." Scott squeaks as all the Scott haters enjoy the show. (This is better than TV! *munches on some popcorn*)
"Look for its blind spot. Every dragon has one. Find it, hide in it, and strike." Forge says as Wanda and Pietro rush in, diving and rolling up to the Spyke's nose.
The Spyke sniffs the air - it can't see them. Pietro and Wanda are smashed together - too close for comfort.
"Do you ever bathe?" Wanda asks and judging from the amount of cologne he wears it's a valid question.
"If you don't like it, then just get your own blind spot." Pietro says unaware of the safe dangling over him. (Please may I cut the rope? After the parody. Great! *Holds big scissors by the rope in anticipation*.)
"How about I give you one!" Wands says as she and Pietro shove each other, till their movement and noise gives them away. The Spyke attacks, snapping at both of them.
"Blind spot? Yes. Deaf spot? Not so much." Forge says as Rogue wanders up to him, while the others dart past.
"Hey, so how would one sneak up on a Rebel?" Rogue asks hoping to get more info.
"None one's ever met one and lived to tell the tale. Now get in there." Forge says sternly.
"I know, I know, but hypothetically..." Rogue says trying to squeeze some info from Forge.
"Rogue!" Remy whispers as he puts his finger to his lips and gestures for her to hide.
A moment later, the Spyke leaps over the walls, surprising them by landing in front of her. Remy somersaults into its blind spot, confusing it. He rears back to strike - just as Jean leaps in, protectively sweeping Remy behind her.
"Watch out babe. I'll take care of this." Jean says trying to show off as all the Jean haters get their popcorn ready picturing what might happen.
"Hey!" Remy shouts as Jean misses. Remy glares at her.
"The sun was in my eyes, Remy. What do you want me to do, block out the sun? I could do that, but I don't have time right now!" Jean says defensive while the Jean haters groan at her not being blasted with fire.
The Spyke tears off after Remy, knocking down walls in pursuit. He leaps and dives like a highly trained gymnast. Rogue wanders up to Forge again.
"They probably take the daytime off. You know, like a cat. Has anyone ever seen one napping?" Rogue asks clearly not letting the matter drop.
"Rogue!" Forge yells trying to get her to concentrate.
"-Rogue!" Remy calls out trying to warn her.
Rogue spins around to see the maze walls collapsing like dominos toward her. Remy comes flying through the dust and crash-lands on top of her, laying him out in a limb-tangled mess.
"Oooh! Love on the battlefield!" Pietro says pointing at them as ROMY fans squeal and snap photos. (How did they get in? Air ducts. Right. *Throws out ROMY fans and blocks up the air ducts* that should buy us some time.)
"He could do better." Wanda says as the Spyke closes in, emerging through the cloud of dust.
"Just... let me... why don't you..." Rogue says struggling to untangle herself from Remy. (And she wants to this because? I'm not sure. *both shrug*)
The Spyke spins around and races back toward them like a Raptor. Remy untangles himself and tries to pull his axe from Rogue's shield... which is attached to her limp, gangly arm. He plants her foot on her stomach and yanks the axe free, still burrowed into the shield. He spins and swings the axe and shield, scoring a direct hit on the oncoming Spyke's nose. It yelps and scurries off.
"Well done, Remy." Forge says before hobbling off to wrestle the Spyke back into his cave.
Rogue gets to her feet - all eyes are upon her. She turns to find Remy glaring at him, winded.
"Is this some kind of a joke to you? Our parents' war is about to become ours. Figure out which side you're on." Remy says as he grabs his axe and stomps off.
Rogue watches, stung.
We quickly cut to the cove at a magic hour and see a fish... being thrown into the cove. It hits the ground and slides. A moment later, Rogue peeks through a gap in the rock, looking around cautiously. Nothing. Rogue squeezes through and enters the cove. A beat, then Rogue hears a snort from behind her. Rogue turns to see the Rebel, crouched on a rock like a stealthy panther. It descends, approaching her... ready to pounce. Rogue swallows her fear and offers the fish. Doing so reveals the dagger at her waist. The dragon sees it and hisses. (What I don't like knives.)
Rogue reaches for it, eliciting a growl. She pauses, carefully lifts it by the handle, and tosses it away. The dragon calms. As it approaches the fish, Rogue notices that it's missing teeth.
"Huh. Toothless. I could've sworn you had..." Rouge says as a set of razor sharp teeth emerge from its gums to grab the fish. Chavonnie snatches and gnashes it up, swallowing it.
"... teeth." Rogue finishes as the teeth retract again.
Chavonnie presses closer with an expectant look. Rogue retreats nervously.
"Uh, no. No, I don't have any more." Rogue says as the Rebel backs her against a rock, placing herself the same position as before. The dragon closes in over her, staring blankly.
A tense moment passes... then Chavonnie regurgitates a chunk of fish onto Rogue's lap. They exchange stares. Rogue realizes what Chavonnie wants her to do. Rogue crouches slowly and squeamishly picks it up. The dragon waits expectantly. Rogue gags and gnaws off a bite of the slimy fish. She forces a smile. Chavonnie mimics her. Amazed, Rogue sits up and tries to touch her. Chavonnie hisses and flaps off to a crash on the other side of the cove. (No touchy the dragon.) She blasts the mossy ground to a red-hot temperature...and curls up on it like a giant dog. She turns to find Rogue seated beside her. Chavonnie tolerates her persistent presence... until Rogue tries to touch her damaged tail. Chavonnie snaps at her. Rogue takes the hint and leaves.
We dissolve to the cove later in the day and it's magic hour again. Chavonnie wakes, hanging upside down from a tree. She spots Rogue sitting on the other side of the cove. Sketching in the sand. We zoom in on a sketch of Chavonnie. Rogue draws with a stick, minding her own business. Chavonnie appears behind her, watching carefully. Aware of her presence, Rogue continues, trying not to scare her off. Chavonnie walks off. A moment later, she reappears with an entire sapling, drawing lines in the sand. She rushes here and there, making haphazard lines in every direction.
Finally, Chavonnie drops the tree and inspects her work. She seems pleased. (You try drawing with your mouth!) Rogue stands and takes in the sprawling scribble, amazed by it. She accidentally steps onto one of the lines, eliciting an instant growl from Chavonnie. She steps on it again. Chavonnie growls again. Realizing how sensitive she is, Rogue steps carefully between each line, turning round and round until she unwittingly bumps into Chavonnie. Chavonnie snorts. Once again, they're face to face. Rogue slowly extends her hand. Chavonnie hesitates. Rogue turns her head away and closes her eyes. To her amazement, Chavonnie bridges the gap and presses her muzzle against Rogue's hand. In a flash, the dragon is gone, leaving Rogue astounded.
We quickly zip back to the village where Forge and the recruits are seated at the top of an abandoned catapult tower, toasting campfire food around a roaring bonfire.
"...and with one twist he took my hand and swallowed it whole. And I saw the look on his face." Forge says telling the story of how he lost his limbs before saying in a voice that says you can't deny it, "I was delicious. He must have passed the word, because it wasn't a month before another one of them took my leg."
"Isn't it weird to think that your hand was inside a dragon. Like if your mind was still in control of it you could have killed the dragon from the inside by crushing his heart or something." Scott says and I think it's safe to say that we are all grossed out by his train of thought. (Yeah it probably was a bad idea to slip those mushrooms into his coffee.)
"I swear I'm so angry right now. I'll avenge your beautiful hand and your beautiful foot. I'll chop off the legs of every dragon I fight, with my face." Jean says as postures to Remy who rolls his eyes.
"Un-unh. It's the wings and the tails you really want. If it can't fly, it can't get away. A downed dragon is a dead dragon." Forge says with a mouthful of food.
We zoom in on Rogue hiding her horrified look form the others. Forge stands and stretches.
"Alright. I'm off to bed. You should be too. Tomorrow we get into the big boys. Slowly but surely making our way up to the Monstrous Pyro." Forge says before saying playfully, "But who'll win the honour of killing it?"
He hobbles off. The teens reflect.
"It's gonna be me." Pietro says very matter of fact, "It's my destiny. See?"
Pietro rolls up his sleeve to reveal a red dragon on his arm.
"Your dad let you get a tattoo?" Scott says almost in awe. (I don't get the appeal of tattoos. I really don't.)
"It's not a tattoo. It's a birthmark." Pietro says and just from the colour anyone could tell it was a tattoo.
"Okay, I've been stuck with you since birth, and that was never there before." Wanda says and I'm starting to wonder if they're all colour blind.
"Yes it was. You've just never seen me from the left side until now." Pietro says and I'm starting to think that potato thing is looking very plausible.
"It wasn't there yesterday. Is it a birthmark or a today-mark?" Jean asks as Rogue gets up and walks away from the group.
Remy watches her as she leaves the bonfire.
We dissolve to the blacksmith later in the evening where Rogue enters a small room at the back of the stall. It's covered in drawings of weaponry and scale models. She lights a candle and lays her sketchbook out on the desk, opening it to the drawing of Chavonnie. With a look of determination. Rogue picks up a charcoal stick and re-draws the missing tail.
Later in the evening we zoom in on a creaking leather bellows. The stone forge glows with every pump. Tongs pull intricate iron pieces from the coals. They're dropped onto the anvil, twisted, lightly hammered, and dunked in a barrel. The pieces are carried to Rogue's workbench and laid out in place on a one-to-one schematic. It's a sketch of a mechanical fin.
The next day we are at the cove again at dawn. Rogue arrives, winded, straining under the weight of a full basket. She kicks the scale she found (like a jar top). Chavonnie approaches, sniffing her.
"Hey Chavonnie. I brought breakfast. I hope you're hungry." Rogue says as she drops the basket and kicks it over. Fish spill out. (FISH! Sorry I just love fish!)
"Okay, that's disgusting." Rogue says struggling to keep down her breakfast as Chavonnie approaches, settling in to devour the feast.
"Uh… we've got some salmon..." Rouge says as Chavonnie swallows it.
"... some nice Icelandic cod..."
Swallows those too.
"... and a whole smoked eel."
Chavonnie nabs it, chews a few times, then spits it out. She shakes her head violently, snorts and scrubs her massive tongue on the sand. Rogue takes note. (Blech! Eel! The one seafood I can't stand!)
"No, no, no! It's okay. Yeah, I don't like eel much either." Rogue says putting the eel in her vest as Chavonnie focuses on the remainder. With the dragon distracted, Rogue unwraps her prosthetic fin and opens it like a fan.
"Okay. That's it. That's it, just stick with good stuff. And don't you mind me. I'll just be back...here. Minding my own business." Rogue says as she cautiously approaches the injured tail, but every time she gets near it, Chavonnie sweeps it away like a cat.
"It's okay." Rouge says as she drops a knee on top of the tail. Chavonnie' head juts up, slows her chewing to a halt.
"Okay...okay.." Rogue says as the dragon tenses, slowly spreading her wings.
Rogue straps the prosthetic fin in place. She cinches the straps.
"There. Not too bad. It works." Rogue says pleased with her work before Chavonnie bolts! She snaps her massive wings and takes to the air, carrying Rogue with her.
"Woah! No! No! No!" Rogue screams as she struggles to hold on to the tail.
As the ground speeds away, Chavonnie immediately tips into a uncontrolled bank and dive. Rogue sees the folded fin rattling uselessly in opposition to its flared counterpart. Flap as she may, Chavonnie can't correct her trajectory. (I really need to get a stunt person or dragon.) Rogue swallows her fear and crawls toward the folded prosthetic. She reaches it and yank it open. The flared, fan- like appendage catches the air, stabilizing the twisting tail.
"It's working!" Rouge yells excited and terrified.
Chavonnie arcs just short of the water and climbs... high into the air.
"Yes! Yes, I did it." Rogue yells elated as Chavonnie glances back at Rogue, busily holding the tail open while trying to hold on. They're going to crash. Whoomp! Rogue is suddenly thrown from the tail in the intense force of a turn.
"AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!" Rouge screams as she bounces across the water's surface and takes a dive.
Without Rogue to operate the tail, Chavonnie does the same, plunging in a massive cannonball. Rogue resurfaces, roughed up, but beaming. Chavonnie appears seconds later.
"Yeah!" Rogue says happy that one of her inventions worked.
We quickly shift to the training grounds later in the day.
"Today is about teamwork. Work together and you might survive." Forge says off screen as we zoom in on a double-wide door.
Gas seeps through the cracks. It blasts open. A cloud of smoke engulfs the ring, swirling around the paired-up teens. Remy with Wanda. Jean with Pietro. Scott with Rogue. All carry buckets of water, poised to throw them.
"Now, a wet dragon head can't light its fire. The Vicious ShadowCrawler is extra tricky. One head breathes gas, the other head lights it. Your job is to know which is which." Forge says still off screen.
The smoke encircles them, cutting them off from each other. The teens listen and watch for any sign of the dragon.
"Razor sharp, serrated teeth that inject venom for pre-digestion. Prefers ambush attack, crushing its victims in its..." Scott mutters under his breath freaking everyone out.
"Will you please stop that?" Rogue asks tensely and if I were paired up with Scott I would be tense too.
We zoom in on Jean and Pietro moving nervously through the fog, back to back. Jean is singing to herself to calm her nerves.
"If that dragon shows either of his faces, I'm gonna—"Jean starts to says but spots an approaching shape, and shouts terrified, "-There!"
Jean and Pietro hurl their water into the fog.
"Hey!" Remy shouts indignantly.
"It's us, idiots." Wanda shouts sounding really mad.
Remy and Wanda are soaked.
"Your butts are getting bigger. We thought you were a dragon." Pietro says as Chavonnie's grip on the scissors tighten just barely not cutting the rope.
"Not that there's anything wrong with a dragon-esque figure." Jean says to Remy.
Remy elbows Jean in the face. Wanda drops Pietro with a punch to the throat. Anyone else really enjoying this part right now? (I know I am. *munches on popcorn with a look of satisfaction on her face*)
"Wait." Remy says and they FREEZE. A blue and pink tail sweeps out of the fog, taking them down.
Their buckets spill. We go back to Scott and Rogue who are coming across them. They see the puddles of spilled water.
"Oh, I'm hurt. I am very much hurt." Pietro says really scared and hurt from Wanda's attack.
"Chances of survival are dwindling into single digits now..." Scott says looking ready to scream like a little girl.
"Look out!" Rogue says as a blue ShadowCrawler head emerges out of the smoke.
Scott hurls his water at it, completely dousing the head. It leers and opens its mouth, spewing gas into the area.
"Oh. Wrong head." Scott says as gas flows around their legs. Scott flees in a panic.
"Scott!" Forge yells and everything is quiet for a beat afterwards.
A clicking sound comes from behind them. Pink sparks flash in the smoke.
"Now, Rogue!" Forge yells as the other pink head sweeps out of the smoke.
Rogue hurls her water with all her might. It arcs and drops short of the dragon's sparking mouth. The dragon grins, savouring the kill.
"Oh, come on!" Rogue says really wanting to hit something.
"RUN, ROGUE!" Forge yells before covering his eyes.
"Rogue!" Forge yells again.
Everything is silent for a moment. The ShadowCrawler hesitates, sniffs and then retreats. The teens get to their feet, watching transfixed. Forge peeks through his fingers to see... the ShadowCrawler backing away from Rogue. She stands and holds her hands out, as if controlling it.
"BACK! BACK! BACK! Now don't you make me tell you again!" Rogue says making the ShadowCrawler retreat through its door and into its cave, hissing.
"Yes, that's right. Back into your cage." Rogue shouts before slyly opening her vest, revealing the spotted smoked eel from earlier. (YAHH EEL! *hides under table and hisses*)
She tosses it inside the door and then slams it shut.
"Now think about what you've done." Rogue says before turning to the teens and Forge. They stare, slack-jawed
"Okay! So are we done? Because I've got some things I need to..." Rogue says before jobbing out of the ring, past the speechless group.
"Yep...see you tomorrow." Rogue says as Remy sneers. Something's going on.
Hope you enjoyed the long chapter. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go nurse a head cold. WHY ME?! I'm Chavonnie26 *cough* and I parody it so you don't have to.
