Chapter Four

Kathryne woke early as was her custom to find herself beside Leliana with one the bards arms draped over her shoulder. She thought of how lucky she was to have found a friend like her, a trusted confidante who brought joy with her enthusiasm and her lovely voice to those around her. She knew that she owed her friend, who worried about both her and Alistair, some explanation as to what had driven her and Alistair apart but she wasn't sure if she could tell the whole truth.

How do you tell someone that you should be dead, that your love had participated in a dark magic ritual with Morrigan to prevent your death? That Morrigan, the witch she thought she knew, had conceived a child with Alistair to steal the corrupted soul of the Old God that had resided in the Archdemon. That although she had refused to even consider the ritual to save any Warden lives and did not know what Alistair had done until she awoke after the final battle she still felt responsible. How can she tell Leliana that when people thank her for ending the Blight all she can think about is that in her name somewhere a child grows inside Morrigan with the potential to be worse than any Archdemon? How can she tell her of the anger she feels that Alistair did this and that despite it all she looks at him and would like nothing better than to be held in his strong arms and kiss him passionately? No better to tell Leliana a partial truth, perhaps later when the wounds and the betrayal are not so raw she can be completely honest.

Kathryne tried to slide from her bed without waking her friend, tried and failed. "One of these days Leliana I'll get the slip on you," she laughed.

"You're getting better, but remember I have years of practice and with all due respect the grace of a dancer," the bard said with a grin.

"You and I are both lucky my mother is not still alive to hear that. As a proper Teryn's daughter I was taught to dance and sew and all the other 'noblewoman arts' in order to land a husband and she would think I hadn't been paying attention all those years and would set you as my taskmaster," Kathryne said jokingly.

"You seem in better spirits today, it suits you."

"A bit, thank you for the shoulder to cry on. I was hoping that later we could borrow some horses and talk privately away from all this," Kathryne moved her arms to encompass the castle. "I owe you some answers."

"My friend you don't owe me anything, I just want to see you happy," Leliana said and Kathryne knew it to be true.


Kathryne was eating breakfast with her friends and brother when the King arrived fresh from his meeting with Arl Eamon and Bann Teagan.

"I hope I'm not too late to join you all," Alistair said. "Also, I believe some proper introductions are in order."

"Forgive me Alistair when I had tried to introduce him earlier you were in a discussions with Arl Eamon and I did not wish to interrupt and there has been so much for us to catch up on," Kathryne said. "Allow me to introduce my brother Fergus."

"It is a pleasure to meet you Fergus though I feel as if I already know you," Alistair said. "On the road your sister spoke often of you and your family and I can't imagine how overjoyed she was to see you. I am sorry for your loss but please know that I signed the proclamation returning Highever to the Couslands with you as the Teryn," he said as he handed over a scroll bearing the royal crest and seal. "Should you need anything to rebuild the Terynir please ask as this nation owes a debt to your family that we can never repay."

"My thanks your majesty, please join us," Fergus said shaking Alistair's hand.

"Fergus, I am issuing a royal decree for you to tell us some embarrassing stories about our dear friend Kathryne," Alistair said with a sparkle in his eye and for a time it felt as if they were all back out on the road.


As she walked through Denerim it amazed Kathryne how quickly life was beginning to return to normal. Several shops had reopened, new vendors and goods were arriving by horse-drawn cart and sail and the armies who had so recently freed the city were preparing to leave.

Along with Alistair and their companions they were returning from visiting the Dwarven army having asked several of its leaders to stay for the formal coronation to affirm the friendship with the dwarves and also honour their aid and sacrifice and were now travelling to the Dalish clans for the same purpose.

They came to an area in the middle of where the Dalish clans were grouped where felled trees were placed in a circular formation and they were told that whoever was speaking would stand in the middle to address all.

"Ma serannas, thank you honoured keepers of the Elvhen for agreeing to speak to the Grey Wardens," Kathryne said as she bowed before the assembled keepers. "We honour and thank you for assisting the Wardens in ending the Blight and regret the loss of life incurred in defeating evil." Kathryne and Alistair had decided along the way that she would make the initial introductions. "For any who may not know I am Kathryne Cousland and this is my fellow Grey Warden and new King of Ferelden Alistair Theirin."

"As both King and Warden I want to thank you, your people aren't treated right and…" Alistair said stumbling for words.

"If I may be so bold as to speak on my King's behalf I believe what he is trying to say is that while some ignorant people speak ill of the Dalish he knows that you are a proud people of honour and courage as you so ably demonstrated in the liberation of Denerim," Kathryne interjected.

"Yes thank you Warden those are the words for what is in my heart," Alistair said now more confident in his words. "Please forgive me I am used to speaking simply and not for a country. In recognition of your bravery, honour and aid against the Blight I have decided to grant the land south of Ostagar to the Dalish people for a new homeland. It is a rough, wild land removed from the rest of Ferelden where the Dalish may establish a home separate from human lands though I hope the Dalish will not withdraw entirely as I believe that both our peoples gain in sharing. Our two peoples haven't always been friends but I hope that together we can change that."

Kathryne looked around and the shock on the Keepers' faces was evident and was matched by her own. When their group had rescued Lanaya's clan from the werewolves and secured their commitment to the Grey Warden cause she had discussed the plight of the Dalish with Alistair lamenting their mistreatment and wishing that something could be done for them but never did she envision something like this. While the intended lands were not held by any of Ferelden's nobility this would still likely harm him politically but one thing she knew about Alistair was he had a strong sense of loyalty and he would feel that helping the Dalish in this way was the right thing to do.

"Ma serenas, Warden King Alistair," Keeper Lanaya said grasping his hand. "On behalf of the Dalish I thank you for the gift of a new homeland and we also look to a future of friendship and peace between our peoples. May the blessings of the Creators fall upon you."

After several more hours of discussions, during which she had to elbow Oghren several times in the stomach to silence his snores, it was decided that Keeper Lanaya's clan would remain to represent the Dalish at the coronation and that they were all invited back that evening for a grand celebration of the clans for their new homeland.

"Thank you Alistair for giving the Dalish a homeland," Kathryne said as the group walked back to the castle. "You do know that some nobles will be after you for this?"

"While your approval is welcome I gave them the land because it is the right thing to do, Ferelden owes them at least that much," Alistair replied. "As for the nobility I convinced Arl Eamon that strategically it made sense to give 'worthless' land to the Dalish since if the darkspawn attack from the south again they will first encounter an army of deadly Elvish bows so I think that argument will work for the others."

"How did Eamon respond to that argument?"

"He said that I was learning to be a king and that he was proud of me," Alistair said laughingly.

"I am proud of you too, I told you before that I think you'll make a good king, my only hope is that being King doesn't change you," Kathryne said while looking Alistair in the eyes.


Kathryne and Leliana were joined by Wynne for their horse ride and while Wynne's presence was not expected it was not unwelcome as she did provide sensible counsel. They stopped atop a cliff overlooking Denerim and its harbour busy with arriving ships.

"I feel I owe you an explanation regarding my behaviour over the last few days concerning Alistair and while I am prepared to discuss it to do so involves sharing some Grey Warden secrets and so I must have your word that what we speak of will never be repeated as it might mean all of our deaths," Kathryne said to her friends. Both Leliana and Wynne agreed to hold everything in the strictest confidence.

"You both know that Grey Wardens can sense darkspawn and I told you that only a Warden can kill an Archdemon but do you know why?" Kathryne asked.

"I always suspected that there was a magical aspect to your joining which connected you to the darkspawn. I suspected something like a magical sigil was branded upon you similar to what is done to the tranquil. The Wardens have long had many powerful mages," Wynne answered.

"In truth there is a magical component to the joining but it is my understanding that it is a small part. A mage is used to finish concocting a mixture of darkspawn blood, a drop of blood from an Archdemon , lyrium and some herbs and roots. A warden recruit drinks the darkspawn blood and takes the darkspawn taint into her and should she survive becomes a Grey Warden." Kathryne looked to her friends and saw only horror on their faces; she had just told her friends that Wardens practiced a form of blood magic. "Many recruits fail to survive the joining; I was the only survivor of three at my joining. The taint within us allows us to sense when darkspawn are nearby just as they can also sense us. During the Blight the Archdemon called to us like an ever-present noise in our heads and we would dream of it as well, such horrible dreams," she said with a shiver. "I suspect that the taint also fortifies us to some degree and no doubt you have seen the appetites both Alistair and I possess though I cannot be certain of other effects since Alistair does not know either."

"The darkspawn taint is also killing the Grey Warden providing about thirty years of life before the Calling when a Warden travels to Orzammar to venture out into the Deep Roads to die killing darkspawn. Should a Warden refuse to undertake the Calling he would turn into a ghoul as the taint finally overwhelms him."

"The darkspawn taint also makes it very difficult for a Warden to have children. One Warden has a small chance of conceiving but for two Wardens it is all but impossible to have a child. If Maker willing we were to conceive would a child born to two tainted parents even be human?" Kathryne said no longer able to stop the tears that now ran freely down her face.

"I fully expected to die killing the Archdemon knowing that eventually Alistair would move on with his life, but now he wants me to be his Queen and though I love him I cannot accept as he deserves better and this nation must have an heir. It is almost funny that I spent so much time avoiding would-be suitors who looked upon me only as a source of political power only wanting to find someone who I loved and who also loved me for me not who my father was and now that I have found him we cannot be together. So I ask you to please accept that Alistair and I cannot be together, it hurts too much for me to be around him and please don't say anything to him, I've already told him my wishes."

"I'm so sorry I never expected that, I just figured it was a small lovers' quarrel soon to be forgotten if I could keep finding ways for you two to be together," Leliana said as she hugged Kathryne crying.

"Oh child, I knew Grey Warden's sacrificed to be what they are, no power comes without cost, but I never imagined how steep the price," said Wynne as she reached out to touch Kathryne's cheek. "You'll get no more mothering from me…at least on this," she said with smile trying to lighten the mood.

The three women spent the remainder of the afternoon watching the harbour and talking about silly things and just enjoying each other's company.


On a personal note I wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed/placed this story on alert for their comments and validation. I think we all write primarily for ourselves but it is always helpful to receive feedback whether positive or negative.