Broken Dawn
Summary: Because even though he hasn't seen her in two years, he's already falling back into the pattern of Jake&Bells. The one where he gives and gives and she takes…until there's nothing left; offering nothing in return
Chapter Four: Would it be wrong to love you?
"We should love, not fall in love, because everything that falls, gets broken."
― Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift
Charlie calls.
He and Charlie have always been close. Charlie is like another father to him and he knows that Charlie sees him as the son he never had.
(In another life, he could have been Charlie's son-in-law but he tries not to think about that too much)
He talks to Charlie about work and listens to his gossip about the happening of Forks, Washington.
"Tells Sue I said 'Hi'," He says and hangs up.
It's only after he walks in the living room and sees Bella sitting Indian-style on the couch watching a rerun of ICarly, that he realizes that he hadn't mentioned Bella to Charlie once.
Charlie didn't even know his daughter was living with him.
Bella turns to look at him with those haunted brown eyes and he gives her a fake smile bore going to take a shower.
(Even though she's a broken mess, part of him, selfishly, wants to keep the pieces to himself.)
….
They are sitting on his couch and are laughing at something someone on TV has said.
(Laughter that's sound so forced that it sounds like nails on a chalkboard to him)
After the laughter subsides, he sighs, "I love you, Bells."
(Because he does; even if she is a walking mess of shattered glass that cuts and bleeds with every move she makes.)
She tenses and he waits.
She's not ready. He knows she's not ready.
She'll probably never be ready to love him.
Not when she still goes pale as a sheet whenever Cullen's name is mentioned. Not when she still cries at night and absentmindedly cradles her stomach.
(There's too much tainting everything between them and the air is still too suffocating him as he huffs in poison with every breath.)
His hand is over hers and his eyes gentle, "I know, Bells. I know. You don't have to say it if you don't want to. I know."
(He knows he'll never be enough for her.)
She breathes deeply, a weight off her chest, which settles on his shoulders, and then tears fill her eyes.
He gathers her in his arms and lets her bury her head in his chest.
"I don't deserve you," she sobs.
He says nothing.
(Because even though she doesn't deserve him, she'll never let him go.)
Instead, he shakes his head, presses a kiss to her shoulder, and stands up.
"I'm tired," he says and she looks up at him confused before realizing that she's still sitting on his couch.
"Right," she says and he holds out his hand to help her up.
Before she goes to bed, he brushes back the hair on her face.
"You know, you'll have to tell me eventually," he says and she closes her eyes.
"Could you say it again?" she asks and he raises an eyebrow. "What you said before..."
"I love you," he repeats, and presses a kiss on forehead. "Now goodnight,"
"Good night," she says and pauses. "I am happy. To be here...with you. I don't think I should be allowed to be happy."
"Why?" he questions, because she hasn't looked happy.
(He can't even remember the last time he saw her smile a real smile.)
"Because you don't know what I've done and I don't know if you'll still love me once I tell you," she says and, before he can respond, she goes to his room and closes the door.
Author's NOTE: Please REVIEW
