What Time is it Avaric?
Based off the Goon Show's 'What Time is it Eccles?'
Peoples, as sad as I am to say it, I don't own Wicked, or the Goon Show.
'What?' came the very loud protests from two certain partners in crime.
'Hey, like, chill guys.' Said Madame Morrible holding up her hands in a 'calm down' sort of way.
'I seriously don't want to spend my awesome Saturday in some dusty old shop!' announced Avaric and Fiyero simply nodded in agreement, putting on his best serious face.
'Well then, if you, like, didn't wanna do the time, then you, like, shouldn't have committed the crime.' Her fish face looked even more hideous than usual as she attempted a 'burn' face.
Readers, for all who have not figured out the happenings of this story, allow me to explain. The boys Avaric and Fiyero have recently committed the dastardly crime of invading all classrooms in Shiz and placing generous amounts of flour on the ceiling fans. All you clever people will have figured out what happens when one might turn on the fans on a particularly hot day will be smiling at the picture now. Seeing as today was a particularly hot day, everywhere all over the grounds people turned on the fans to a, rather dastardly effect.
Now, the boys have just been sentenced to spending Saturday in an old clock repair job in the ground floor attic of a nearby antique shop.
Arriving at the shop on Saturday both boys were immediately over whelmed by the insane amount of clocks all crammed into such a small space. There was absolutely no where that you couldn't hear the dinging and donging, clicking and ticking, chinking and chiming of clocks. There was even the occasional bird call from the numerous cuckoo clocks.
The owner of the shop set the two to the job of setting the right time on each of the clocks once they had been fixed. One problem, every single clock in the shop said the wrong time.
Staring round at the clocks in front of him Fiyero tried to find one that seemed to have a reasonable time on it.
Turning to Avaric for help he asked, 'What time is it Avaric?'
Smiling smugly to himself, Avaric reached into his pocket, 'Ah, hold on, I've got it written down here on a piece of paper.' Pulling out the paper he said, 'A nice fellow wrote it down for me this morning.'
'Oh,' said Fiyero frowning, 'Then why do you carry it around with you Avaric?'
'So if anyone asks me the time, I can show it to them!' announced Avaric proudly.
'Wait a minute Avaric my good man.'
'What is it fellow?'
'It's written down on this piece of paper?' Avaric nodded, 'But it says 8 o'clock.'
'I know that my good man.' Said Avaric with a smile, 'That's right, when I asked the good man to write it down, it was 8 o'clock.'
'But, what if someone asks you the time and it's not 8 o'clock?' asked Fiyero, uncertain of Avaric's logic.
'Well then I don't show it to them!' said Avaric matter-o-factly.
'Aaah,' Fiyero clicked his tongue distractedly, 'Well, how do you know if it's 8 o'clock?'
'I've got it written down on a piece of paper.' Announced Avaric brandishing the piece of paper under Fiyero's nose.
'Oh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on it. Hey, Avaric?'
'Yeah?'
'Let me hold that there piece of paper to my ear,' Fiyero took the piece of paper and held it to his ear for a moment, 'Heh, this piece of paper ain't going!'
'What!' said Avaric, astonished at this discovery, 'I've been sold a forgery!'
'No wonder it stopped at 8 o'clock!'
'Oh dear.' Avaric looked genuinely shattered.
Fiyero thought for a moment, light bulb!'Hey Av, you should get one of those things my Granddad's got!'
'What's that then?' Avaric looked up hopefully.
'His firm gave it to him when he retired,' said Fiyero, 'It's one of those things that um, wakes you up at 8 o'clock, boils the kettle and pours a cup of tea!'
'Oh yeah! Um what's it called…'
'My Grandma!' said Fiyero with a huge grin.
'Oh! Cool,' Avaric smiled but it faded quickly into a frown, 'Wait a minute! How does she know when it's 8 o'clock?'
'She's got it written down on a piece of paper!'
Hope you all enjoyed, it's much funnier when you listen to it.
Don't forget to R&R!
