Chapter four, How does Near plan to talk to Natasha? Keep reading to find out! :)
4
Near sat in the midst of his task force headquarters and he was thinking about Natasha. It dawned on him that if they wound up being together, he might never be able to tell her that he was a detective without compromising her safety. He thought on this some more and decided that he would rather lead a double-life and make sure she was safe than tell her everything and find her dead the next morning. However, if the time were to come where he needed to or trusted her enough, he would tell her.
That could wait, though. Right now he needed to focus on talking to her first. He had heard a few lines on TV and tried out some along with a few of his own.
"Hi, I'm Near, you know, that one kid you tried talking to a couple days ago…then ate his toy…and handed it to you…oh boy!" Near crossed that greeting off a list he made, then read another one. "I didn't eat my toy, I glued it back together!" Okay…that one still proved that he played with toys, and he had no idea if Natasha liked to play with them or not. Next on the list was something that he was sure that worked on TV. He tried to pose all Macho, put his fists on his hips, and said, "Hey, Baby. If you were a booger, I'd pick you first." For that quote, he just couldn't keep a straight face and wound up cracking up and wondering why the heck he decided to try that one! (A/n I was cracking up while writing that as well) After calming down, he crossed that one off the list and noticed that the only quote left was "Toy? What toy?" Near realized that he desperately needed help. Rester and the others were standing in the corner trying to hold back laughter as well.
"Were you seriously thinking about using that line?" Rester asked. Near could feel his pale face turn a shade of red.
"I don't know, but I do need help."
You're not going to ask us about girls again, are you?" Giovanni asked.
"No, I already have the information I need…and a whole lot I could do without."
"OK, how about I pretend to be Natasha, and Rester and Giovanni will guide you through the whole thing." Lidner suggested. Near thought about this for a moment, then agreed.
"First of all," Giovanni stated, "The most important thing when you talk to a girl is to remain calm."
"That's easy for you to say!" Near said.
"Just pretend that Lidner is Natasha and we'll help if you get stuck. Ready, Go!" Lidner sat in front of Near.
"Hi! I'm Natasha, what's your name?" She imitated. Near could tell he was getting nervous again just by imagining, but he tried to think straight enough so he could answer the question.
"Uh, Egypt." Lidner looked at him weirdly and he felt his head grow hot as Rester rolled his eyes. Near wasn't sure, but it seemed like they were all thinking, 'Now that's just sad, The kid can't even tell a girl what his name is!' Well, obviously he couldn't tell her what his real name was since he was a detective and L's heir, but you get the idea.
"Near, she's asking for your name, not some country in Africa!" Rester said.
"Okay, let's try this again." Replied Near. Everyone got back into his or her positions.
"Hi, I'm Natasha, what's your name?" Lidner asked again. Near felt more confident this time.
"I'm Near, nice to meet you." Near held out his hand and Lidner shook it. At least that's one thing he saw on TV that actually worked.
"Nice to meet you. Do you get out very often?"
"Get out what?" Rester bit his lip.
"She's asking if you go outside very often." Giovanni said this time.
"Oh." Near turned back to Lidner. "Well, I guess I do now."
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"Uh…there's nothing good on TV anymore."
"Tell me about it."
"Okay, the new episodes of Sponge bob are—" At this point, Giovanni interrupted again.
"Uh, Near, 'Tell me about it' is a figure of speech. It means, 'Whatever, nothing new, heard about it before, been there, done that,' that sort of stuff." Near sighed. This was going to take a lot longer than he thought. "Let's start from 'Tell me about it'. Ready, Go!"
"Tell me about it." Lidner said again. Near was thinking hard about what to say to that.
"Uh………….I can't think of anything!" Lidner, Rester, and Giovanni all groaned in sync.
That's pretty much how the next few hours looked. Lidner and Near would talk for a little bit, then Near would freeze up and either Giovanni or Rester would give him advice. Of course there were also a bunch of frustrated groans and something about tacos and radioactive bike helmets. Finally, Rester got tired of this.
"How about the next time you go outside, you can wear an earpiece so we can guide you if you freeze up." Rester suggested.
"Alright, sounds like a plan." Near replied.
Coming up in chapter 5,
How will Near remain calm when he gets another chance to talk to Natasha?
Will he mess up, or will it be love at first sight? (more like second sight.)
How does a giant rhinoceros named Toby fit into all this!?! (Okay, I made the Rhino up.)
Please Review, constructive criticism is welcome.
