Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. I took what you guys said about Erin and Jay into consideration and I hope that you like what I came up with.
Please Enjoy
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Erin Lindsay?" A woman called standing in the doorway. Erin stood up slowly, shakily, not sure if she could stand, her name had never seemed so frightening. She held her hand out for Kim silently; she took it and walked with her slowly to the woman in the doorway. Today was the day, she was going to find out what this precious baby inside of her was, and she was nervous to say the least.
Once they got there, the woman looked at her with a warm smile. "Come with me," she said leading them to the door of the examination room. She opened the door and stood inside. Erin just looked at the room, standing in the doorway, afraid to venture any further. The room looked nice enough, peach walls and a table with a pretty bouquet of flowers on it, but in the middle of the room sat a bed and a curtain. She didn't think she had ever been so nervous in her life. She covered her stomach with her arms and walked inside slowly, it seemed as though the room was walking towards her than the other way around. She walked further into the room and looked around nervously, turning her attention to the woman who held a gown in her hand.
"If you would change into this the doctor should be with you in ten minutes or so," she said handing her the gown. "You friend is welcome to stay if that's what you'd like," she told her and Kim just nodded as the woman walked out. Erin looked around, clutching the gown and finally sat on the bed.
"Second thoughts?" Kim questioned her sitting beside her; Erin just looked down at the tiles on the ground and let herself collapse into her hand.
"Erin, if you're having second thoughts it's okay," Kim said wrapping her arms around her shoulders in comfort, pulling her closer to her into a warm embrace.
"I'm scared," Erin told her, only the second time she had spoken since they had entered the building. She looked out the window and to the rain that fell heavily. "I mean, I know that this baby's coming. But it's like, I'm about to know for sure that this is my son or daughter. And it scares the hell out of me. What if the things Landon and Annie said are true? What if I'm better off giving this baby up for adoption...or maybe getting an abortion"
"Don't let them drop you to this level, Erin," Kim reassured her. "Nobody says you have to find out what you're having today, but I can tell you one thing, you're going to be a great mom." she told her, hoping she would change her mind.
"I just feel like sometimes I don't have a choice," Erin answered, looking at the gown. Kim hopped off the bed and looked at her sternly.
"No, y'know what you do, you do have a choice. Y'know what not having a choice is? Not having a choice is being fourteen years old and being scared out of you mind," Kim told her. "Having no choice is when someone tells you that if you don't get rid of your child then they will cut it out themselves. Having no choice is having a gutting knife held to your neck as they tell you that if you tell anyone about what they did. That if you told anyone that they got you pregnant that they would slash open your neck," Kim said, tears cascading painfully. "We see it every day and you know that Erin. You're so lucky that you have people to support you. So what if Landon doesn't want to be a dad, screw him. You deserve better and your baby deserves better and that's what you're going to have."
Erin watched on, shocked by the revelations. "You have a choice Erin, you have Jay, who would walk over hot coals, who wants this baby and will help you with this baby. You always have a choice and if you'd choose to not keep your baby, you're making the wrong one. Now I'm not telling you what to do, but just let me tell you one thing nice and clearly," Kim told her, leaning either side of her gritting her teeth to stop the tears. "You'll be a great mom, I can tell, I know you"
"Thanks" Erin said with a smile as the doctor knocked on the door and came in.
"Hello Erin. Are we ready to find out what we're having today?"
Erin looked at Kim and then ran a hand down over her stomach.
"I sure am"
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"Well, are you happy?" Kim asked as she looked over at Erin "Did you get your wish?"
Erin shrugged her shoulders and smiled"I'd have been happy with either outcome, but yes, I got what I wanted"
"I think we're in the mood for celebration music," Kim said turning on the radio and continuing down the road. "God this road is wet," Kim said looking out over the steering wheel as the road looked like a small stream.
A pair of headlights came down the other side of the road, it was traveling fast, too fast, and the lights were coming into their direction.
Kim tried to swerve tried to get out of the car's collision path but the road was too wet, too dangerous. The more she swerved the closer to the car it got, finally coming to a head, crashing into the blue Volvo with a force, sending the car spinning out of control. Kim tried to scream but no sound came out. She felt her head jerk as the front of the car crumpled into the side of another coming the other way, hitting her head on the steering wheel as they came to a sudden stop. Her head rested on the steering wheel, hung over it like a rag doll with trail of blood seeping from her forehead.
As the car span Erin tried to hold on, holding onto the dashboard, she was scared, much more scared than she had ever been, she felt the urge to protect herself, to protect the baby. She watched Kim as she tried to swerve out of the way, unable to control the car with the slippery conditions. As the car crashed to its terminal stop her head threw itself to the widow, shattering the window with her head. The blood seeped from her head and her lip, rolling down the shattered glass of the window, body limp as she came into contact.
The car stood by the side of the road, the rain fell heavily, hitting the window and slowly rousing Kim from her unconsciousness. She lifted her head from the steering wheel slowly, holding her head and looking at the blood that ran down the creases in her fingers. She didn't know how long she had been lying there but it looked a little darker than before, a pain shot though her legs and up her spine as her head thumped painfully. She looked over to Erin as she lay with her head against the window, she didn't move. Kim tried to move but couldn't, she couldn't feel her legs, she thought she couldn't see her legs within the mangled wreckage of the car at her feet but wasn't sure. When she was satisfied that she was indeed looking at her legs she gasped in horror at the sight of the bone in her leg that stuck out of her skin sharply. She reached over to the release button of the seatbelt and un-strapped herself painfully. She reached over to Erin slowly, terrified of what she would find; she swallowed the large lump in her throat as she put her fingers to the pulse in her friends' neck. She placed two fingers on her neck and sighed with a relief as she felt her pulse throb beneath her fingers.
Reaching her hand as far over as she could reach before the pain disabled her, she felt in front of her friends mouth, feeling the steady breathing on her skin. She placed her hand on her cheek, hoping she would wake with the sudden warmth. Erin stirred gently and opened her eyes, finding her neck stiff and her head throbbing, blood pouring down her skin slowly in small rivers of wet and dry blood. For a moment she wasn't sure where she was, all she could see was broken glass and the mangled wreckage of the car by the roadside in the pouring rain. She didn't know what she was seeing at first but she knew what she felt, sharp pains in her left arm shot through her and her head was light.
"Erin? Erin are you ok?" Kim asked worriedly as she watched Erin come out of her daze slowly, looking around and getting her baring. The pain in her legs was getting worse, each time she tried to move she hurt. She could tell she wasn't going to be able to walk away, the metal was too close to her skin, it was going to talk a lot to get her out of the wreckage in one piece.
"What happened?" Erin asked groggily, trying to move but Kim stopped her. Touching her shoulder, stilling her. She looked over at her and the obvious pain on her face, looking down she saw the wreckage, caging Kim into the drivers' side.
"I think its best that you don't try to move," Kim said stilling her with her hands. "We crashed pretty bad," Kim said, stating the obvious and trying to fit herself into the most comfortable position. She didn't know what to do, fear shot through as reality hit her, the reality of Erin and the baby she had fought so hard to save.
"Are you okay?" Erin asked gazing at her and her legs.
"I think so, I know my legs are broken," Kim said, hoping that broken was all they were, they looked crushed more than broken. "Do you hurt?" she asked her worriedly.
She could tell Erin was in pain and watched her as the situation hit her, her eyes becoming wide, and her breathing rapid, hollow in the small confines of the wreckage.
"The baby!" Erin said suddenly, tears bursting to her eyes instantly as the reality finally hit her. She thought the worst, she couldn't help but to think the worst, and this was the worst situation she could think of. She had saved her baby but this was happening to her, it was a sign, this was most definitely the world's worst and cruelest case of irony ever experienced.
Erin's breathing deepened and continued to increase in rapidity, reacting to the shock and fear bolting through her body like a bolt of lightening. She was panicking, there was no doubt about that, but this was the perfect time to panic, she was responsible for two lives and she wasn't protecting her child like a mother, she tried to get out, shaking the car. Kim moaned in pain and put her hand on her shoulder calming her, or at least she was trying to calm her, Erin could not be calmed.
"Calm down Erin okay, calm down and stay still Erin. This is not a good time to stress okay you have got to stay calm okay?" she told her through the pain, shooting up her legs and to her back. She had to calm down, she didn't know much but she knew that stress was very bad for a baby especially in a situation such as this.
As much as she told her to stay calm she knew that she couldn't, no-body could stay calm when their child's life was in danger, a child she really wanted.
"I'm scared Kim," Erin said grabbing onto her hand and breathing rapidly, holding her stomach with her right hand, trying to protect it. "I feel empty, I feel empty it's gone, I know it is I'm being punished Kim, I'm being Punished for making these decisions. I'm being punished," Erin cried, hyperventilating on her tears. She couldn't breathe through her tears, everything seemed more intense in the silence of the car, silence was the loudest sound, screaming in her ear, chilling her.
"Ok, ok calm down Erin just calm down you're not helping yourself," Kim said holding her hand firmly and calming her down. "Are you hurting anywhere?" Kim asked her.
"My head hurts and my arm, my left arm hurts," Erin said holding her arm, she was sure it was broken but she was more concerned about the baby, and Kim.
"We have to get help Erin," Kim said, tears pouring from her eyes. "My legs are killing me, I can't get out, every time I look down all I see is my legs and the car crushed against them. It's bad Erin," Kim cried softly, salty droplets tumbling down her cheeks in fear and horror of the pain, the pain was unbearable, she was sure she was going to pass out.
"What about the other car?" Erin asked, moving her neck slowly and painfully to look at the other car, the driver was nowhere to be seen. He had run off, fled after the crash, afraid of confrontation when he had no insurance.
It shocked Erin to know that someone had seen them in such a bad way and not even check them or call for help, it was the lowest thing in the world.
"I've got to find my purse, it has my phone in it, we have to get help," Erin said trying to look calm but failing miserably. She turned her attention to the car, scanning it for her purse; she had to get help. She need to call an ambulance, she needed to get some help before she lost her baby forever. She was worried about Kim's legs, she looked at them and didn't like what she saw, they were mangled and didn't stop bleeding. Luckily Kim could feel them, that was a good sign, she couldn't feel the baby like she could before, she was sure it was gone.
Tears seeped from her eyes at the thoughts, fears rushing through her head, terrified of losing, more terrified than she had ever been before. This was a sorrow, a worse sorrow than when Nadia had died, Nadia had a chance of life and this baby hadn't, she needed to get help. She looked around searching for her purse; she smiled a little when she located it on the floor beside Kim's feet. She un-strapped herself and bent over, the pain in her neck was shooting through her, she knew it wasn't serious, maybe whiplash but nothing serious. She reached out for her purse, down beside Kim's feet, putting her hand over her mouth at the sight of it, she grabbed her purse and got her phone out of it, praying it would still work. She switched it on, looking doubtfully at it and it's dented appearance, a sigh of relief washed over her as the backlight came on. She tried to still her hand until she was able to dial 911, calling for help, they needed help, all three of them.
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Jay glanced at his watch as he sipped what was probably the worst cup of coffee he had ever drunk. The coffee machine in the intensive care unit of Chicago Med should be put out of its misery.
Jay couldn't help but wonder if this coffee had ever poisoned anyone. At least they were at the right place if it did.
Jay glanced at his watch again. He had been pacing in front of Erin's room for the past half hour, waiting for the doctor to finish examining her. After Erin had woken up this morning, Jay had immediately notified the doctor and then Jay was whisked out the door, which was promptly closed, and the curtains in the window facing the nurse's station were drawn.
What was taking so long?
April, walked over to him with an exasperated look on her face.
"Jay, you wearing a rut in the floor."
Jay looked at her sheepishly. "Sorry, April. I just can't help myself. What is taking so long in there? The doctor's been in there for over a half hour now."
"Jay, it takes time," She laughed at him. "They've got check all her vitals, then do a pelvic exam, then remember that big machine they wheeled in there?"
"Yeah." He nodded.
"That's used that to do an ultrasound and make sure the baby's ok and that there's no internal bleedling. It just takes time."
He still didn't think it should be taking this long, but he nodded his head.
"All right, I'll sit." He conceded
"This coffee sucks you know." He gestured to the cup in his hand as she laughed out loud.
"Tell me about it. Try the machine in the maternity wing if you're that hard up for coffee. At least it won't kill ya." She said as she walked back to the nurse's station.
Jay threw his half empty cup in the trash and was about the head down to maternity, when Hank stepped off the elevator.
"Jay, how's Erin? Is the doctor still with her?"
"Yeah, she should be done anytime though."
Jay still wasn't sure what to think of Hank. After his outburst in the emergency room, Hank didn't broach the subject again of how long he and Erin had been together.
Jay wasn't sure if he should be frightened by that or not.
Granted, when he had returned to the hospital to see Erin in ICU, Hank had led him right into her, even told Dr. Goodwin that he was family.
He didn't yell or scream or try to gut him from behind.
Yeah, he decided. He should probably be very afraid.
Hank tilted his head as he studied him standing there, still in his clothes from yesterday, hair sticking up from a night of little or no sleep, dark circles under his eyes and a weary look on his face.
"Jay, you look like shit. Why don't you go home an get some sleep?" Hank commented, smirking.
"Thanks, Hank. You always know just what to say to boost a guy's ego. Both you and Erin are so good at that."
"I've taught her well. Seriously though, Jay, did you get any sleep last night?"
He shook his head.
"No, not really. I must have dozed a little because Erin did wake me up. Apparently I was drooling on her hand."
He joked, letting some of the relief he felt show to the one other person who probably felt it as much as he.
"You must be exhausted though. You really should go home an get some sleep."
"No, I told her I wouldn't leave."
Jay looked at the door, and then began to pace again. Hank watched him for a moment, and then put a hand on his arm gently.
"Jay, she's okay. She's going to be okay."
He felt his body relax, but only slightly.
"I know how worried you were worried about her. I know I didn't say this to you last night, but I appreciate you being there for her."
Hank shuddered a little as he tried to will himself not to get emotional. The last think Erin needs is Hank being an emotional wreck, even though that's how Hank felt.
"Hank, don't thank me. I'm the reason this happened to her in the first place. If I'd just left work early I could've taken her to her appointment and she and Burgess wouldn't have been in the accident"
"Jay, don't say that. It's not your fault. It just happened. We should all just be grateful that she's okay."
He felt part of the weight on his shoulders lessen, but not lift.
"I know Hank. I'm just surprised you're not about to kick my ass for not getting to her faster."
Hank's eyes narrowed, but didn't show any signs of malice.
"Who said I'm not?
"I love her Hank." He said simply.
" I know you do, Jay. That's why I haven't killed you yet."
Hank nudged him with his shoulder as the door to Erin's room opened and Dr. Manning emerged.
Hank spoke up first.
"How is she?"
Dr. Manning smiled at them both as she closed Erin's chart.
"She's doing very well. Her vital signs are good. There's no internal bleeding. And the baby is doing very well. Considering the condition she was in when she arrived yesterday, all in all, I'd say she's recovering quite nicely. Her abdomen is still very tender, but that's to be expected. It will be for a while."
"When can she go home?"
"Well, I'm moving her out of ICU this afternoon and as long as there are no problems, she should be able to go home tomorrow afternoon. I may want to keep her one more day though. I'll make that determination in the morning. I've warned her that her recovery time is going to be longer than she plans."
"I'm sure that didn't make her too happy," Hank joked, knowing Erin like the back of his hand.
Dr. Manning laughed.
"She certainly had her opinions on it. But I warned her that she'll be on complete bed rest for at least a week and limited mobility for several."
"You can go in and see her now, but please don't stay too long. She needs her rest if she wants to recover as quickly as she says she intends to. I'm also instructing that she be given some additional pain medication. She is very uncomfortable right now."
Dr. Manning walked over to speak to April, leaving Hank and Jay to go into Erin's room.
Jay yawned audibly as Hank grabbed the handle of the door.
"Go home Jay. I'll tell her where you went. You're asleep on your feet."
He shook his head.
"No, I told her I wouldn't leave."
"Jay, I'm sure she doesn't expect you to stay here all the time."
"That's not what I meant Hank."
He sighed resignedly. "Okay, let me just go tell her I'm going to go home and shower. Then I'll come back."
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Erin looked up as the door opened and she smiled tentatively as Hank and Jay walked in.
"Hey." Hank said as he walked over to the bed and dropped at kiss on Erin's head.
"Hey. How bad do you want to kill me right now?" Erin asked, a hint of fear evident in her voice.
She was not up to a heated discussion; the one she dreaded would happen once Hank got her alone.
Hank sat in the chair next to the bed.
"Not so much. I figure I'll let you heal first, then I'll probably just maim you later." Hank grabbed her hand and squeezed gently.
Erin sighed in relief as she looked past Hank to Jay. He had his hands in his pockets and was nervously rocking from one foot to the other.
Erin frowned slightly, wishing he would step closer.
April walked in carrying a tray with two pills and a small glass of water.
"I come bearing drugs." She announced, smiling, noticing instantly the tension that filled the room.
"Oh, Thank God!" The words slipped out of Erin's mouth before she could stop them. She was extremely uncomfortable and every time she moved, it felt like someone was sticking a knife in her stomach.
April chuckled. "Now, that's not a reaction I get everyday. Most people hate taking medicine."
Erin smiled sheepishly as April handed her the pills.
"Here darling, take these. They'll make you feel much better. You won't find anything any better. At least not legally." April said as she winked.
She took the glass back from Erin and started to walk out of the room.
"Are these..." Erin started
"Perfectly fine for your baby? Yes. No worries there. Your little one will be just fine" April assured
"Ok" Erin said with relief.
"Those should kick in relatively quickly. They should knock you out too; so don't worry if you get really sleepy all of a sudden. All the best drugs either make you hyper or sleepy."
"I don't want to go to sleep. I just woke up." Erin complained.
April stopped with her hand on the door.
"Well, then tell this guy over here to get some. From what I hear, he was up all night watching you sleep." She motioned to Jay as she opened the door and walked out.
Erin looked over at him, her eyes full of a mixture of love and gratitude and he smiled, his eyes never leaving hers.
Hank interrupted their silent moment.
"And while we're on that note, Erin, I'm sending Jay home to shower and change. He's pretty ripe."
"I'll tell you Hank, the compliments are just oozing out of your mouth today." Jay sighed
Hank shrugged nonchalantly.
"Well, if you can't hear the truth from those who love you, then whom can you hear it from?"
Jay stepped around the bed and took Erin's hand gently.
"I know I said I wouldn't leave Er, and as much as I hate to admit it," Jay glared at Hank over the bed. "I'm afraid Hank's right. I just need a shower and some fresh clothes and then I'll come back. That is if you want me to?" He asked hesitantly, hoping she wouldn't say no.
"That's okay Jay. You should get some sleep first. It's not like I'm going anywhere anytime soon. I'll be fine." Erin noticed how truly tired he looked and all she wanted was to was wrap her arms around him and pull him into the hospital bed with her so that he could sleep.
"Yeah, I'm going to grill her for a while and then those pills will probably kick in anyway. Now, get the hell out of here and go to sleep!"
Jay leaned down and kissed Erin's forehead.
"I won't be long Erin."
And before either could respond, he strode out the door.
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As the door closed, Hank turned back to Erin.
"So, now that he's gone, you can stop fighting the pain I can see behind your eyes."
Erin's body relaxed a little and she let some of the discomfort she had been trying to hide from Jay show.
"How did you know I was hiding it?"
"Because Erin, I've known you long enough to know when you're you scared the hell out of us!" Hank exclaimed.
"I'm sorry Hank."
"I'm sure you're not up to talking about this now and I understand that. I'm not going yell at you Erin. That's the last thing you need right now. I'm just so glad you're all right. I don't think I've ever been more scared in my entire life, Erin."
Erin frowned as she squeezed Hank's hand tighter and Hank rose from the chair and sat gingerly on side of the bed.
Erin winced slightly.
"Oh, Erin, I'm sorry! Do you not want me to sit here?" He asked apologetically.
"No, it's okay. I just need to adjust myself a little. Every part of me is throbbing." Erin admitted.
Hank let Erin settle.
"I'm sorry about how things have been between us lately, Hank."
Dr. Manning had filled Erin in the events of the previous evening. Despite the intense pain she was in right now, Erin still couldn't comprehend how close to death she and her baby had actually had come. Now, alone with Hank, Erin began to let her defenses down and her eyes began to well.
"Erin, don't be sorry. I just want you to know that you can come to me. Always"
"I just didn't want you to be disappointed in me." Erin whispered, lowering her eyes.
Hank's heart cracked a little. Moving closer, Hank wrapped his arms gently around Erin. "I'm not disappointed, Erin. No matter what it's going to be OK"
In the safe arms of the man she thought of as her father, Erin began to cry.
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An hour and a half after he had left, Jay walked back into Erin's room, finding her sound asleep.
He quietly walked to the bed and stood watching her for a long time, comforted by just being in her presence.
He tried to stifle a yawn as the stress, strain and fatigue of the last 24 hours swept over him. Although the shower had refreshed him a little, he was still fighting just to keep his eyes open. He hadn't even let himself sit down on the couch at his apartment, afraid that if he did, he would fall into a sleep so deep he wouldn't wake for days.
Not knowing how long Erin would sleep, but unable to leave her side, Jay slumped down into one of the chairs by the window. He tried to get comfortable, finding it a difficult task.
He finally pulled another chair over and lifted his feet up to rest on the seat. It was a pretty poor excuse for a bed, but it would have to do.
He leaned his head back and shut his eyes. He was asleep within minutes. And soon he began to dream.
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Please Review
I know I didn't reveal the sex of the baby, but I'm not quite sure on what I want it to be yet.
I like the idea of it being a boy, but then I also like the idea of it being a girl. I'll more than likely reveal it in the next chapter.
So, if you guys have a preference, don't hesitate to drop it in a review!
