She sat there in the middle of the bed and let the minute's trickle by. She had no idea of what to think. She felt shock, pain, anger guilt and a hundred other emotions. It was if they were all trying to push their way to her mind first and there had been a blockage at the door.
Okay, just breath Therese. Let's think about this in a logical way. Rindy was hurt, Carol had gone to look after Rindy. Those were the facts. However, Carol did not come into the room to even say goodbye to Therese once she had decided to go, she had just left. That was a fact too…But could she have done so with Mrs Aird there? Well, maybe she could have done so discreetly? But 'come on', said a voice in her head, Carol was so overwhelmed with concern over Rindy, why would she be thinking about her? Carol's prime concern was for Rindy, that was natural.
Therese let out a deep breath and shook her head. How selfish was she being? Thinking about herself when Carol's little girl was in the hospital. Therese immediately felt sickened by the thought. Oh God, why was she always putting her own feeling first? Poor Carol, poor Rindy! What a horrible thing…
She knew what she had to do. She had to leave. She couldn't be here when Carol came back. Carol would need her own space, besides, if Rindy wanted to be with Carol maybe Carol wouldn't leave the hospital. Yes, that was very possible, or maybe she would bring Rindy back here or and Therese swallowed at the thought, maybe Carol, Rindy and Harge would all go back to their house in New Jersey and be together. Maybe this whole horrible incident would make them want to be together as a family and that Carol would realise how she can't deal with the idea of barley seeing Rindy and so would come to some sort of arrangement with Harge that would mean they try and work things out, which would mean Therese would never see Carol again. Just like before.
Therese froze at the thought. She shouldn't think about it. It wasn't right to think about it, it was none of her business, I mean what was she to Carol anyway? Therese felt as if she had just been plunged in to ice cold water, she shivered. She had no claim over Carol, none at all. Carol had chosen Rindy over her before, of course she would do it again, this shouldn't be a shock to Therese. After all, her and Carol hadn't confirmed anything between them this evening, nothing had been said exactly, so in Carol's eyes maybe nothing had been lost.
Therese had gotten up. She needed to go and now, otherwise…otherwise she wouldn't be able to. She picked up her clothes of the ground and dressed quickly, trying desperately not to think about the way Carol had removed those items of clothing, or the way it had felt when Carol had looked into her eyes, had kissed- Stop! Stop thinking about this, it will not help, now hurry up and leave already. She ran up to the door and threw it open, she took a step out, then she paused and turned her head back at the flat. Wondering, wondering. Was this the first and last time she would be here?
She ran out to the street, it was raining hard now and it had grown dark and misty. She stuck out her right arm and waved. A taxi came screeching to a halt, and she clambered in giving the man her address in a tone that quite plainly said 'I don't want to have small chat'. Her mind felt like a whirlwind. Everything seemed to be a blur, and in a manner of seconds, or so it felt, she was outside the building of her flat. She thanked the driver, handed him some money and entered the building.
The hall was cold and hard, and her flat itself was almost completely black. She flicked on a switch which issued a dull glow and walked straight to her bedroom and without removing any clothes she threw herself on the bed. Then the tears came.
She could not stop them. And she cried and cried and cried. She cried until there were no more tears to fall, until she was simply whimpering. She curled herself into a ball and wrapped her arms around her chest, the familiar feeling of breaking engulfed her and she shook and shuddered on the bed. She felt as if her heart, which had been in the process of mending, break into a thousand more pieces, felt it being stabbed as if by a furnace hot knife. She forced her face deeper into the pillows to muffle her yells. It was too much. She closed her eyes.
She woke to bright sunlight shining in her face and the sharp sound of the door bell ringing over and over again. Her head felt as if it were made of lead. It felt heavy, sore and swollen. Her whole body seemed to ache and scream in protest as she got up. Like a zombie, she stumbled to the door and answered the phone.
"Hello?" she croaked.
"Therese, where the hell have you been?" It was Dannie's voice.
She rung him up and opened the door then flopped back onto her bed.
"Therese where the hell were you? It is past 11 and you said-" but he stopped as he came forward. He looked at Therese with a frown "Therese?
She rolled over, her eyes heavy. The room was spinning, she tried to blink but her vision was becoming black and bleary. The last thing she could recall were arms around her.
"Therese, Therese?" Strong arms seemed to be shaking her gently, and something cold and wet was being pressed against her forehead.
She opened an eye and blinked, the room was spinning again. She blinked again, things were slowly coming into focus, a warm yellow curtain, an armchair a desk. Hang on….where the hell was she? She sat up a little more quickly than she amticipated and she felt a hand push her back saying "Easy Therese."
"Dannie?"
"Well who else would it be honey?" he asked with a slight laugh as his face began to swim in to vision. "Jeez Therese you gave me quite a shock there."
"Where am I?"
"Don't you recognise the place? You're at my place."
"How? Why?"
"Jeez Therese, I couldn't just leave you at your flat and I have this spare bedroom here so thought I could keep an eye on you while you recover. You need someone to look after you, you have been out of it for about 12 hours, nasty fever you got. So, I picked you up, put you in my car and here we are. Gotta lota funny looks putting you in the car I did, I'll tell ya that," he said chuckling. He turned over the wet flannel on her forehead.
"I feel like death Dannie." She managed to croak.
"Yeah you look it too! Just rest and everything'll be okay right." He stood up and walked to the door, "I'll be around if you need me. Just try to sleep, don't think of anything." He closed the door.
Don't think of anything? How could she do that when Carol once again had left her. She just knew it. It was too much. She closed her eyes and let her mind drift in to restless dreams.
