A/N I am getting a bit insecure about this fic, dont worry I will keep posting, Its just that I dont know where the story is heading anymore. If you feel that the consistency of the story/plotline starts to waver, please let me know. I also started reading a fic called 'Isolation' by Bex-Chan wich made me completely amazed (and really self aware :( its really good) which distracted me a bit. But enough of that, enjoy this chapter :P
Btw, the new time line is set from 12 o'clock just after lunch.
Disclaimer: I do not own or have the rights to any of the characters used in this fic or the original plotline, everything belongs to JKR.
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Day 1, hour 1.
They were both quiet, not speaking one word to each other, completely left to their own whirling thoughts. After a while Malfoy took out some homework and got to work probably to keep the time going.
Hermione on the other hand felt sick at the thought of reading for the first time in her life and got up to do some exploring instead.
The room was not that big, had no widows, and was full of shelves with confiscated stuff (mostly broken Weasly products) and had a really tiny side scrub which was empty except for spider web.
Not fancying spiders that much she turned her attention to the shelves instead.
Her findings were not that intriguing though; a set of wizard's chess, several other glass jars with mysterious contents and some burned blankets that smelled remotely like wet cat. There was the pile of broken cleaning supplies she had crashed into but besides that there was nothing more so Hermione tired quit fast.
She tried to suppress the feeling of distress she had. The small space was already making her claustrophobic and along with her general feeling of sadness and anger she felt jitterier than ever. But the hole in her chest that sometimes threatened to consume her from the inside out was now just a tiny speck.
Malfoy was there, reading a bit, writing a bit and the rustling sounds filled her with some comfort. She wasn't alone, and wouldn't be for a while. His long delicate fingers slowly stroked the side of the page he was on as his concentrated stormy pools read the words.
To anyone else he looked at ease but Hermione had learned from days of silent observation that he wasn't at all. The tiny tension in his posture and shoulders and the barely there tapping with his foot against the stone gave him away.
Yet again he made her wonder what his problem was, and she wondered what had made her feel so drawn to him. It was like an itch in the back of her head, never leaving her alone, just like when she couldn't find the right answer too an essay question (which almost never happened).
As always the question 'whats wrong?' lingered on her tongue almost slipping of her lips but she bit it back. She didn't want to disturb him so she took out the wizards chess to distract herself.
Suddenly one of the pawns started to ooze smoke and her finger got burnt where she touched it.
"Ouch!" she yelped and sucked her injured finger. This made Malfoy whip his head up and look at her with question in his eyes, one perfect light eyebrow raised.
"It burned me" she whined. He just shrugged and returned to A History of Magic. Almost all of the pieces on the board where glowing from heat now.
No wonder Filch took it away, he must have thought it was Dark Magic placed upon it, she snickered inwardly while she examined it a bit closer, careful not to touch it again. It was probably just a stinging hex gone wrong, but he could'nt possibly know that.
"Finite Incantatem" she muttered but nothing happened. She then screamed 'FINITE INCANTATEM' silently in her head and the board shook a bit. That seemed to have done it but the pieces were still very hot.
She showered it with a stream of water to cool it of which probably wasn't the brightest idea since it made the small room fill up to the brim with steam. Malfoy gave her an annoyed look.
"Sorry… Want to play?" She said sheepishly. He rolled his eyes and closed his book. The steam made it hard to see if he was looking at her but the prickles in her neck told her he was.
"Fine, but only because you made the room a sauna, the pages will get wet" He stalked over to her and sat down on the opposite side of the board. He tried to wave some of the swirling mist away and succeeded to some extent.
"Ok Hermione, let's see what you got" He said with an annoyed tone, but he couldn't hide the mischief glittering happy in his eyes. And so they played, in the steam.
It turned out that Malfoy was really good at chess, but so was Hermione. Of course she contemned the way the little pieces angrily chopped each other up but the game really grew on her.
She was so sick of morals and always doing the right thing, besides it was only chess.
It might have had something to do with Malfoy's happy chuckles every time a slaughter begun. He really brought out the rebel in her she thought and smiled at him when he laughed. Apparently his bishop had made an especially funny move against her knight. But eventually they grew tired of that too.
"What time is it?" He asked her. She looked at her watch, only three hours had passed!
"It's only half passed two" He groaned. He returned to his book again, and she understood why. Much like she, he had learned that time flew by when you buried your nose in a book, but she wasn't up for it herself so she started experimenting with her watch using some of her new Transfiguration skills.
She succeeded in making a device that projected the time onto the wall with big glowing numbers. She placed it at the corner of the stairs, adjusting it a bit until she was happy with the size of the image. Malfoy looked up.
"Nice!" He smiled a crooked little smile.
"You knew I was going to ask you what time it was every two seconds so you made sure we could both look, clever Hermione" He said amused.
"I don't want to get into unnecessary arguments, this is going to be tough enough anyway" She blushed a delicate pink.
"Yeah, I like the semi-peace we have, let's keep it that way" He mumbled with his nose back in the book.
Aww, come on!
It was as if when she finally got him to talk he folded into himself again, it was like talking to herself. She was going to die from boredom. Suddenly she realized what she must be to others and she didn't know if she liked that information very much.
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Day 1, hour 5
"Why do you call me Hermione?"
"Because it's your name?"
"I mean, why are you not so nasty to me anymore?" He squeezed his eyes shut and then rubbed his palms in them. He looked at her with a tired expression.
"Seriously? Why do you complain?"
"No, no, I'm not complaining at all, I was just wondering why you don't go around and taunt people, calling me a mudblood and all that" she said hastily placing her hazel stare everywhere but on him.
"Don't use that word!" he said harshly, the angry fire in his eyes flaring up at once. This shocked Hermione since he never bothered to not think that way of her before (at least she thought) and certainly had he never censured his language.
"Why?" She decided to press him a little.
"Because it's nasty and I don't want to hear it. I don't want to use that kind of language anymore nor do I want to be associated with it" They stared at each other for some time before she finally won and he broke their lock.
"Even if I wanted too, which I don't, I could hardly get away with that type of behavior could I?" Bitterness was domination his tone.
"No, I guess not" Hermione answered quietly. This confirmed the suspicions she had. He really wanted to change, not just because he had too, but because the wars evil aftermath had scarred him to. Hell, he'd already gone from black to white, he was really different.
First this made her glad, finally something that got to him.
But why?
She knew how deeply rooted the prejudices where and how she herself felt on the matter. But then again she was confused as well in her beliefs. The thing was that she could'nt figure out if it was all the gruesome events she'd been trough, the evils that had been inflicted on her, that provoked the feelings she had.
Or if it simply was her growing up, finally realizing that there wasn't just good and evil. Black and white. There were a million shades of gray in the world. Like his eyes for instant.
Hermione had concluded, being the bright witch she was, that she was to self aware for her own good. She was depressed, she had identity problems and for some reason she tended to seek comfort in a death eater which by itself was slightly disturbing. She was going mental for sure.
It was starting to get cold in the room so she absentminded cleaned and repaired the blankets she found. Snuggled in one of them she picked up a book from her schoolbag. When she had read the same page four times she sighted frustrated and tossed it aside.
"What?" He mused, again with the raised eyebrow.
"I can't read anymore, there's something wrong with me" The frustration seeped through her voice like water through a strainer. Maybe Ginny was right, what was going on with her?
"Yeah there must be, maybe you should go to the hospital wing and get it checked out when we get out" He joked calmly.
"Don't be smart" She was really tired of things not being as it used to be, she had always found solitude in books but she couldn't keep this crazy studying dance up anymore if she couldn't even read one page without flaring up. And if she could'nt study she could'nt keep the pain at bay.
It was probably the room. She debated with herself for a while and then told him so.
"Well, people change I guess, maybe you should take up Quiddich. I used to find solitude in that" He stated seriously to Hermione's surprise.
"I'm horrible at flying" was her comment to that.
"So I've heard"
Come on, who hadn't?
He tossed his book as well and stood up to stretch his limbs, flexing his muscles. Without his robes and in only his shirt she noticed that he had gotten really toned, how come she never noticed before?
"First you need to get your balance fixed, there's exercises for that, then you have to focus real hard, a strong emotion would probably do, and flying isn't as hard as some make it to be" He went to sit on the bottom of the stairs. She nodded at his logic.
"I thought you knew all about Quiddich, Potter was the team captain after all, and the whole Weasel litter is descent players as well" She ignored his rudeness and answered in a matter of factly tone.
"Yeah, I just never found it interesting before, when they got at it I just tuned them out"
"Maybe I can show you sometime" They both stared at each other shocked at his comment. Not killing each other in class and hanging out on their free time were two topics very wide apart. An awkward silence spread through the little room.
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Day 1, hour 11.
Malfoy yawned for the umpteenth time and Hermione exploded.
"Gah! Just go to sleep then, your making me mad!" She barked.
"Fuck off Granger, I can't, and unless you have a potion for it I will yawn" He snapped back. There was silence once more but after a couple of minutes the sound of another yawn could be heard again. Hermione decided to change tactics.
"Why can't you sleep if you're so tired?" She asked and let out a yawn herself.
"None of your business Granger" Same irritated tone again.
"What happened to Hermione?"
"I'm crossed with you, besides showing curtsy towards you that way seems pointless when you don't even return the favor" His breathing became harder in the darkness. Wow he really worked himself up about that.
"Why can't you sleep Draco?" She asked more softly. The sound of his name tasted better on her tongue than she would have liked and she frowned a little surprised. Hermione had almost fallen asleep when he finally answered.
"I'm thinking about things…" He whispered. She could hear him roll over and tussle angrily with his blankets.
"I figured as much, but what are you thinking about?"
"I'm not going to tell you"
"No, you don't have to if you don't want to. But I can tell you something in return if it makes you feel better…" Hermione held her breath and waited.
This was a chance to maybe figure out some of the mystery that was Malfoy, but at the same time she cursed herself for putting herself in such a vulnerable position. This conversation really took a more serious turn than she initially had planned.
All I wanted to do was shut him up so I could welter in my own self pity and not sleep myself.
"I think of how lonely I am, what an outcast I am now that I am finally being me, it's funny isn't it how hard you work for people to see something in you but when you show them something real they recoil?" Hermione let him go on.
"I think about how much people hate me for what I have done. It feels like I'm drowning in guilt" His voice trembled a bit and she could hear how hard it was for him to open up to her.
Shit!
She never thought he'd do it, what was she going to say to him now? If she couldn't even tell Harry, Ron or Ginny how was she going to tell Malfoy?
"I feel lonely too." She started.
"I feel so sad for everyone who died in the war, but at the same time I feel misplaced because I don't know what to do anymore. I was so used to travel around, nearly escaping death and now it's just back to normal you know? I feel unappreciated when they don't need my brains to stay alive anymore, I feel angry" When the first words left her lips it was like a river of emotions had been unleashed and it just kept on coming.
"Harry and Ron would have never made it without me, and it makes me feel guilty to think that way, but I thought about what you said earlier and you where right" She finished off, tears threatening to spill over her eyes. She didn't know why she all of a sudden became so emotional.
You threw of the lid to the box, you stupid cow!
"Right about what?" He asked.
"Right about that people change, I am changing and my friends can't accept that. I am not the good girl anymore, I am tired of it. Hell! I have lost all of my relationships from it and I feel so fucking lost" She continued now crying like a fountain.
"Are you crying Hermione?" He sounded uncomfortable. She whimpered a 'no' and tried not to sob but he then lit his wand to expose her lie.
"Don't fucking cry, I don't know what to do when girls cry" He said with panic in his voice as he crawled over to her.
"You don't have to bother Ma-Draco, I am sorry I brought it up" She also sat up and wiped her face on the blanket. The now fully lit room made her able to see his eyes. They were full of emotion. A little annoyance, of course, but mostly hurt and worry.
"Please stop crying, just tell me what to do, anything but crying" The sincerity in his velvety voice made Hermione baffled. Why would he care? On the other hand why would she care about him and his problems, and yet she did.
"Why would you care if I cried?" She sniffled into the blanket trying to hide her tear drenched face.
"I just don't like when girls cry, besides it makes me uncomfortable when people show their weaknesses" He dimmed the light of his wand a bit.
"I just wanted to know what was bothering you…" She admitted shyly.
"You Gryffindor lot are always so fucking nosy… Well, if I told you one more thing, will you shut up then?" He looked vulnerable peering at her with an awkward expression.
"Yeah, maybe…"
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A/N OK I really need some feedback here guys? *pulling my hair a bit* Good? Bad? Boring? To Green? Anything would be nice, just to keep me going you know xD I will update very soon.
