Rachel

I decide the only was to deal with this situation in a mature way is to completely pretend it did not happen. No one has to know and no one else will! It's that simple, I keep reminding myself this as I'm walking to meet Monica. She asked me to go jogging with her every morning. Bright and early and I would have said no, but with everything that is happening I feel bad. I know technically nothing is happening, but I still feel guilty for some reason. It's probably because her crush saw me in my bra and I'm the one that gets to see him through the window everyday and live right next door to him. Besides, I want to help her, it would be much easier if she lost some weight…I mean for her, to get dates and stuff.

We start down the street. Monica can only jog for a minute or so and then we briskly walk. About half way through our "jog" she stops for a break and tells me she has some news.

"Guess who I get to tutor after school all this week?" Her eyes are wide and eager. I shrug, hoping it's not who I think it is…but it is.

"Joey!" She just about shouts.

"I can't wait to have him sitting an inch away from me in my own home, reading poetry and Shakespeare. It's going to be so romantic!" she continues gleefully.

"Great," I bite through my teeth. Luckily, Monica was too busy to notice anything unusual with me.


Monica

Today is going to be the most amazing day ever. It's my first tutor session with Joey. Rachel and I even went jogging all weekend and this morning, so I feel so great about myself. I still couldn't believe Joey was going to be sitting right next to me for a whole hour, I think to myself as I stare at the kitchen table. At four o'clock, Ross stopped by, visiting home from college. He was on his spring break. Normally, mom and dad would be all over him, gushing and bragging about him to everyone. Then, today when he walked through the door my mom went up to him and told him how I'm having a boy from school over. Can you believe it, for once I was the center of attention and not Ross; this really is the best day ever!

"Well, I got another A on a term paper," Ross squeezes in, but even that doesn't catch their attention.

"He just moved here and he'll be over in an hour," my mom reveled to Ross.

"Well, who is this guy?" Ross suddenly rushes over to me.

"Just this kid, Joey…he's really cute!" I couldn't help but squeal. My mom giggles next to me, squeezing my arm supportively.

"Yeah, maybe our little Monica is finally going to have a boyfriend," my dad adds.

"Oh dad!" I say. They both smile happily at me.

Five o'clock finally comes and after ten long minutes of my parents suffocating Joey I pull him away and demand they give us space to study. Ross stays quiet through all of this, having to be stubbornly pulled away by mom.

We sit down at the table; I already moved the chairs close together so I wouldn't have to so obviously move my chair later. I can't control the butterflies in my stomach which must be going crazy at this point. He looks so cute tonight, like he does all the time. I guess I'm taking too much time admiring his cuteness because he's waiting for me with his textbook and notebook already open.

"So, Shakespeare…" he breaks the ice.

"Y-yeah, let's get started!" I open my book quickly.

Sitting so close to him is way more pleasant than I ever could have imagined. When I get to lean in even closer to point something out in his textbook, his scent surely envelops me completely. He's trying really hard too, although it's pretty obvious English is not his strong suit. Finally as time is counting down I feel I'm ready to lay it out for him. I need to ask him, I've been dying to know for so long now.

"Joey…" I speak softly.

"Yeah?"

"I've been meaning to ask you something for a while now."

He looks directly at me and I want to melt instantly.

"Would you ever go out with me again?"

"Sure," he answers.

"Really? So, you have no problem going out again like anytime; when you're free?"

"Yeah, why not?"

He's really making my day here!

"So, it's official then?"

"What is?"

"You would be my boyfriend?"

He stops and looks down.

"Oh," I hear him say. No no, what happened! I think my stomach hurts, maybe I'm nauseous. My forehead's starting to sweat.

"What?" I say barely audible.

"It's just- you're really nice and I like spending time with you, but…" he begins.

Oh no, I'm trying so hard to hold back tears that may overflow at any given moment.

"I just don't feel that way about you…sorry," he tells me in a quiet voice. My mouth is going dry and the room might be spinning.

"Okay, sorry," I quickly say and shoot up from chair, collecting my books so I can get out of the room.

"Monica, wait, I'm sorry…I just- if you don't want to continue tutoring me I understand."

I look at him, at that wonderful face of his which I now know sees me as nothing more than friendly Monica. I'm so stupid to think he would ever like me, I'm so embarrassed, but I'm also still too nice.

"No, I'll see you tomorrow same time- bye," I say and run up to my room. I'm guessing he let himself out. I cried myself to sleep that night.


Rachel

So, I've kept my blinds closed for three days straight now. I have to admit I have been tempted to open them, really tempted and I still don't get why. I don't like him that way, I do not! I don't know why I keep arguing with myself like this. Next thing I know I hear the doorbell. A few minutes later my sister Amy appears in my door way.

"It's for you prude," she grunts as she carries on to her room. She's sweet isn't she? I walk down and immediately regret it as I see the sole reason there hasn't been sunlight in my room for three days. Joey is standing at my front door. I heave a tired sigh as he spots me.

"Hey?" I say.

He gives me a half smile, sensing I'm not crazy about him being here.

"Hey, I'm just here 'cause I wanted to know if Monica's okay?"

"What, why wouldn't-" I stop short as I can't catch my breath at the thought that entered my mind. Oh no, no no no…he couldn't have told her could he? I speedily grab him by his shirt and drag him outside. I shut the door behind us.

"What was that?" he fixes his shirt, annoyed by me.

"You didn't… ugg I didn't want to ever speak of this-" I take a frustrated breath.

"Tell Monica about…" I'm trying to signal him with my eyes about what I'm hinting at. He's not getting it; his face is an exaggerated 'what?'

"The window- bra incident?" I murmur quietly. His face freezes.

"Oh," he chuckles.

"Hey don't laugh, as far as anyone is concerned that never happened you got it, never!"

"Okay, okay, my lips are sealed," he put his hands up in a defensive, mocking way, still chuckling slightly.

"Well, then what are you talking about?" I try to shut his laughing up with an un-amused tone.

"See, I told Monica I didn't want to be her boyfriend and now she barely speaks to me when she's tutoring me, I mean it's like strictly Shakespeare stuff- she's not herself anymore," he explained to me.

"Why would you reject her like that?"

"I said it nicer than that- I don't like her that way. Is that a crime?" Joey disputed.

"With Monica it is, you must have been sending her the wrong signs."

"Signs? No, I was just being normal…myself."

"Couldn't you pick up how sensitive she is?"

"Look, I handled it as gently as I could, I even offered she stop tutoring me…I wasn't prepared for her to expect I was her boyfriend!"

I take a deep breath, unsure how I would deal with this. I couldn't believe Monica didn't tell me. I should have paid more attention and realized she hasn't go on about Joey in days.

"Okay, I'll deal with it. It's probably best you just keep your distance."

"Why- we can't be friends anymore?"

"Not us, you and Monica!" I reminded him.

"That's who I was talking about."

"Oh," I said, embarrassed. I stopped talking then, trying to recover from that one.

"So, I can't talk to her anymore…that's just stupid. I'd feel too bad anyway."

"Joey, she's obviously very upset. There's nothing you can do to make her feel better except- be her boyfriend."

I'm not sure why, but Joey seems very offended by what I told him.

"Whatever," he grunted and left. What was that?


The next day I invite Monica over ready to give her a shoulder to cry on. Surprisingly, she walks in jollier than ever.

"Monica? Why are you so happy?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" she asks.

"Uh, well, Joey told me what happened…you're not upset?" I ask shocked.

"Oh, I was…really upset, but now it's all good."

I'm not understanding how that's possible. My confused expression gives Monica the hint. She suddenly comes over to me and leans in like she's ready to reveal a secret.

"Joey talked to me yesterday."

"And…" I interrupt.

"He explained how sorry he felt and that he still cares about me and wants to be friends. But he said it much better; it was the sweetest thing in the world!"

My eyebrows raised at that.

"Really?"

"Yup, yup! See, I was really depressed at first and then I thought it was because I was fat, but now I know he's not superficial like that he honestly just doesn't see me that way," Monica cheerfully explains.

"Well…" I accidentally was about to speak my mind. Monica turns to me.

"What, what were you going to say?"

"No, nothing…that's great Mon I'm really happy for you."

"No, tell me Rachel, what were you going to say."

I shake my head no, but she insists further.

"Say it, just say it!"

"Okay, I was just thinking you know a lot of boys are alike and well, maybe it did have something to do with your appearance- just a little."

"How could you say that?"

"No, it's just what if you were skinny, would he still have been uninterested, I'm just thinking out loud."

Maybe that wasn't my best idea because Monica looks like she could crumble to a million broken pieces at any second.

"I can not believe you; you know first off you have everything to begin with. All the friends, the boys, the popularity; and now you can't even think for a second that a guy could like me even though I'm…fat? What is it, do you need to have everything, have every guy…what do you want Joey now too. Do you like him as well; well certainly he will go for you because you're so skinny!"

I've never heard such a demeaning tone in Monica's voice. She looks really angry at me, but really I was just speaking my mind. Although, I guess my initial shock and fear of Monica at the moment is masked by an even bigger expression. When she suggested I might like Joey I got extremely nervous she might know something, she might figure out that I might have started to like watching him and seeing him. That he might be crossing my mind lately more times than I would hope for. She glares at me, trying to read my body language completely.

"Oh my god, wait, you…you like…Joey?"

My face is still written with fear and anxiety.

"No, n-no."

Her eyes widen at me now, with more anger.

"You do, don't you. I can't believe this. Wait, are you two already…did you steal him from me!"

"What, no!" My voice is so shaky.

"I'm leaving," Monica snorts and marches out.

"Monica, wait!" I call after her, but she slams the front door behind her before I get there. I've messed everything up and I didn't even do anything!