Sage has a long history
The morning greeted Eren with dark clouds and a slight headache. Nothing too bad but it was there, endless pressure in his temples. Not enough to make him unable to live just making him irritable.
The realization hit him once he pushed away the pled to get out of the bed. The drinking, the talking, the hugging. Eren swallowed hard but it didn't help sudden dryness he felt in his throat as he fell back onto the mattress.
'Dear Sina' Eren mumbled into the pillow. He definitely did not want to go downstairs and meet Captain Levi. It would be brutal, he knew it already. Man must be furious. Not only did he interrupt his alone drinking session, but he petted him like a god damn cat, and oh, hey, why not, he also hugged him. Only because man looked like he really needed some comfort and it was painful to even look at him this way, but nevertheless. He hugged Captain Levi.
He needed to repeat it to himself few times to even believe it. He should not have drank any of that vodka. He also could not have come to captain once he heard him moving in the kitchen but since he came to the cottage with Hanji he just had that look in his eyes that made Eren shiver.
Captain looked empty inside and once everyone gathered for briefing about current events at the capital he just left it to Hanji and went for a run. Eren never saw Levi quite that stiff before, and worried look Hanji gave him only confirmed his assumptions. Captain was very much not fine. That news Connie brought were terrifying and they had been killing titans for only a month. And Levi must have killed hundreds. If he started thinking about them as humans it was no wonder he looked dead inside. Because that was what Eren saw inside Levi's eyes. Death and emptiness. It was just too painful to look at him, so once he heard Levi come back, he had to get out of bed, as he couldn't sleep anyway, and go to see if he was alright.
Clearly, he wasn't, and Eren was amazed he was even allowed to keep him company. He felt honoured. The captains demeanour was all gone from both Levi's stance and way of talking, and both that and alcohol made Eren brave. Now he would be despised by Captain Levi. Even if he gave Eren permission to hug him, he was intoxicated and vulnerable, as disturbing as the thought might be.
Even though meeting captain now would be horrifying, Eren was glad he did it. Levi looked better after that hug and he didn't think he would be able to stand seeing such emptiness in captain's eyes ever again. He preferred seeing him open and vulnerable. Captain clearly wasn't good at dealing with his emotions, what made it even more peculiar that he let Eren by his side at that time.
He just tried not to wonder about if there would be another time with captain so emotionally exhausted he would need someone to sit with him through it. And how many times before he was left alone when he felt like that. For both, Eren just hoped, the answer was never.
When he finally made it downstairs everyone was already there, some of them still finishing their breakfast, but mostly just sitting, looking distressed. The only person absent was Hanji, Eren managed to notice, before his attention was drawn to Captain Levi standing leaning against kitchen counter, arms crossed on his chest, cup of tea sat next to him. His brows are even more furrowed then always, and he frowned even more as he noticed Eren standing in the doorway.
'I see you finally decided to grace us with your presence, Jäger.' Levi snorted at him and a sharp ting of hurt reminded Eren that Levi called him by first name even before previous night. Well, that was gone, then. He should have expected.
'Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir.' He stood to attention, but captain was already looking away, so he slumped his shoulders again. The rest of the group was watching then silently, clearly sensing the tension. It was Mikasa who finally moved, pushing him forward the kitchen table, making him sit, and placing bread, butter and a jar of honey in front of him. He didn't dare to say he lost his appetite, and started eating right away, not ready to put up with her nagging right away in the morning. Captain was enough trouble.
'Well, I hope you would not be offended, Jäger, if we start before you finish eating.' It is just unfair' Eren thought, as he was not the only one at the table that was still enjoying their breakfast. Sasha was also savoring slice of bread with some jam on it, Jean was drinking tea, and Connie was munching on an apple while looking through the window. Nothing of that seemed to bother the captain though. 'He must resent me' Eren thought helplessly. 'As most of you, who did not sleep until noon, already know, we had a visitor at the crack of dawn. Squad leader Hanji already left with them.' Captain paused and finished his tea. Before he could place cup down it was taken away by Historia, who flashed her endearing smile at him.
'Would you like another one, sir?' She asked, as considerate as always, and captain nodded.
'Peppermint, Historia.' He continued, as she busied herself with placing teapot over the fire and pouring leaves into the cup: 'To cut the chase, Leonhart's crystal started to break last night. Until the moment Commander Smith sent the messenger the crack wasn't very big, but god's knows how it is now. Hanji left immediately, but we will wait here until we get some more information. Any questions?'
Everyone froze, looking mortified. Piece of bread Eren was swallowing got stuck in his all of sudden too dry throat and he coughed awkwardly, drawing everyone's attention to himself.
'What is it Jäger? Anything to say?' captain barked as Eren coughed, feeling tears gathering in his eyes. Finally he was able to speak again.
'No, sir. I just choked a little.'
'You survived, Sina be blessed.' He mocked, and looked as he was about to continue, but Historia handed him a full, steaming cup, and he took it, apparently deciding to leave Eren alone for that moment. He sunk lower in his chair.
'The fact that we will be staying here doesn't mean you can sit on your asses and laze around all day. You are a bunch of kids and if you are ever to survive, we have some serious training to do.' He brushed hair of his face and Eren noticed how tired he looked. That night was hard on him, no matter how he behaved. He should be mad at him for the way he was treating him, but seeing him tired and stressed made it hard for Eren. 'Assemble if front of the shack in one hour. You will not die under my command.' The look on Levi's face made Eren think that last sentence just slipped, but he quickly covered the expression by taking a sip from his cup and then left.
Everyone seemed to relax as soon as captain was out of the door and Eren remembered he was the only one who had the chance to get to know Levi, while for the rest he was only a strict and very awkward superior with unhealthy thing for cleanliness. He kept looking through the open doorway until Mikasa sat next to him.
'What the hell was that about? I might just want to kill him again.' Mikasa even as not completely serious with her threat, surely looked mad. He had never been afraid of his sister, but seeing her wearing such a deadly expression made him understand what her opponents felt sometimes.
'Mikasa might be exaggerating a little, but Eren, seriously? Why was he attacking you all of sudden?' Armin questioned in low voice, sitting across the table. The rest of their group seemed to be already engrossed in their own business, not noticing, or just not caring enough about the personal issues Levi might have with Eren. 'I thought you were on good terms' he puzzled.
'I might have an idea' Eren admitted after a while of deliberation. 'But please, let me see if I can sort it out myself. If he keeps treating me this way, I promise, you can kill him, ok?' He smiled at Mikasa, and even if she was still looking doubtful, she nodded in agreement. Armin looked as unsatisfied as her, but he shrugged, letting it go.
That was a big relief. All of them knew Mikasa could do nothing about how Levi was treating him, and Eren had no idea if he could repair the damage done to their relationship, but maybe as time passed Levi would at least forget it a little. And he would prefer not telling them the truth. He will if the situation won't fix itself, he would not let Mikasa hate Levi again, but just not yet.
'Stupid, annoying brat' Levi thought when he saw Eren walking into the kitchen late in the morning. 'He did nothing wrong' he noticed next. Then he proceeded to act like he hated the kid, watching him get smaller and smaller with every remark he made.
He left the room as his headache started to get impossible to bear.
The hell got over him last night? He was only going for a quiet evening of getting himself drunk to sleep and then, of course, Eren Jäger appeared and had to keep him company.
He felt sick. Not because of too much alcohol, that would be a blessing compared to all the thoughts he woke up with. And continued having.
He should really not woke up missing his subordinate's hands in his hair. At first he could pretend it was only alcohol still running through his veins, but after hours passed and he sat in the kitchen, waiting for his new squad to arrive, and then when he listened to them talking quietly, clearly unsure how they should behave around him, he were supposed to feel better. And yet he sat there, impatient for the brat to show his face downstairs. And once he did, he just right away got mad at him. He would at least like to have his emotions in check enough to understand why he was furious, but no, he had no idea.
Irrational, he knew he was acting nuts. Kid did absolutely nothing wrong. He tried to help, and he did, no matter what Levi tried to convince himself. Eren came, offered silent comfort, and not once overstepped boundaries without asking. And he was punishing him for nothing.
But he felt ridiculously good once he saw him, and he shouldn't. And maybe that was making him crazy with rage.
His headache let go a little through the hour he spent on cleaning his blades and trying not to think at all. He could not trust his thoughts not to go in the wrong direction, so he set himself on not thinking at all. So far it was semi-working and he could leave for training calmer than before.
He was first in front of the building, as it was still fifteen minutes left to the appointed time. Or at least he thought he was, noticing curled form under the apple tree growing in the front yard. Eren. The kid was sitting there with his eyes closed, back leaning against the bark, hands resting on his knees. 'Stupid, stupid kid' Levi thought, watching him as he wanted to imprint the sight in his brain. Eren looked peaceful, as he rarely did. That kid did not deserve this life.
'Eren' he called, forgetting for a moment he was angry. Kid opened his eyes, awareness flashing in them, as he looked around for the source of the sound, looking both relieved and nervous once he found Levi. He jumped to the standing position.
'Yes, sir?' Eren's voice was very small.
He was more nervous than relieved, wasn't he? It was all Levi's fault. Hell, like he ever was good with dealing with emotional crap like that. He honestly wanted to say something, anything, to appease Eren, but as soon as he opened his mouth this Blouse girl busted out of the door, trailed by the rest of the recruits.
Not recruits, but Levi's new squad, he had to remind himself. He never had to deal with group with such a little experience before. They might have been old enough to join the army, but they were also only a bunch of kids next to him, with a little to no experience. There may have been something special about them, but still, they saw nothing yet.
All of them were on time to his mild annoyance. He could use an opportunity to scold them, just to make a point, but no. On the other hand, they may be already too afraid of him.
All of them were wearing their three dimensional gear, and he was proud and upset at the same time. Did he ask them to wear it? No. Did he tell him they are going to train? Yes. But why did they assume it was titan fighting training? Well, sure, they primary enemies were titans, but Levi had a lot of bad feeling after Erwin was kept for questioning, with that pastor also being problematic... Something was up.
'I have no idea, who did tell you to wear your maneuvering gear, but great, you could use some raised difficulty level. We will do hand to hand combat training today. Pair up.' He ignored astonished looks. This first time he was letting them make up their own couples, so he could see what they can do on their own, in comfortable environment. Most of them were on top of their class, curious enough they chose to enlist in Survey Corps. He was there, but it was fate which thrown him in. They legitimately had choice, but yet, they were here. He did wonder for a moment why, but a loud conversation brought him back to training.
'Sorry, Krista, you're on your own. I might have liked to train with you, but now... Maybe one of the girls would prefer to couple up with you.' The tall kid with long face uttered at Historia. Jean Kirschtein, his brain supplied. 'You know, since you like girls so much.' He drew out the last words dramatically. 'But I doubt any of them would like to get as close to your sweet little heart as Ymir did.' Kirschtein looked proud with himself, most of his peers seemed to agree, only Blouse and Eren looking annoyed with him. Historia just looked into the ground, looking small and pathetic, and really, she should learn how to defend herself, he was not going to help her.
'Historia, you're with me. You're odd numbered anyway' Levi announced, not commenting on anything Jean said. It wasn't anything new. During first years of his services women were outnumbered in the army, even quite rare, and he witnessed quite few same-sex relationships. Some of them were made public, usually the ones which run deeper than sex only and they were punished. Mostly by sending the freaks to the Survey Corps. That meant, in most of the cases, death. Sooner or later, but veterans saw their fair share of homosexuals and heard all of the hate world had. As long as it was not getting in the way of work commanders tried not to comment either way. He didn't even know Erwin's views on this.
In the first run the goal was the same as during their recruit training. Get the knife from the opponent. The pairs, beside him and Historia, were: Mikasa and Eren, Armin with Jean and Sasha with Connie.
First round went well, with everyone succeeding. Historia wielded the sword in their pair, so it was fairly easy, but he got annoyed at Mikasa retrieving weapon from Eren, who was supposed to be the best at hand to hand in their class. That girl was talented, for sure, but the kid had to be able to beat anyone, especially hand to hand. They could not risk him getting injured in his human form, and with Annie possibly awake again, everything could go wrong any minute. Levi just had a bad feeling about this.
For the next round he made them mix up, leaving Historia to work with Mikasa, which was unfair on the Reiss girl, but she would have to deal with it. Eren was paired up with Jean this time and he had taken Armin to fight him. Unsurprisingly kid was unable to retrieve a knife from him, but he did put fair effort into it.
'Good job, Alert' Levi was about to say as Eren's screamed fuck made nearby birds took off the tree. He was next to kid in an instant, blood dripping onto the ground from his left palm, cut almost all the way through. Jean was looking mortified, blooded dagger laying on the ground next to his feet.
Before he thought better of it, he was grabbing Eren's wrist and pulling the hand for close inspection. It was hard to see how much damage was done as it was bleeding rather heavily, and Levi cursed under his breath. So much for not getting the kid injured.
'Eren, inside. The rest, keep training. Kirschtein, I will talk to you later.' His voice must have come out harsher than he intended as Jean looked absolutely mortified, the rest of the squad not much better. That he will deal with later, he decided, following Eren as soon as he finished barking out orders.
It wasn't hard to track the kid, given the fact that he was marking his path with small bloodstains. The floors were in disastrous state, but Levi found himself not caring. He found Eren in the kitchen, with his palm above the sink, blood slowly dripping into it.
'How are you feeling?' Levi asked, again grabbing onto his wrist.
'It hurts, but I will be fine. It's only a cut.' Eren answered, and he had to agree now, after he had a calm look on kid's injury. He might have overreacted a little.
'It's going to burn' he warned before running cold water over Eren's palm. Kid mumbled something, but he did not pay attention, focusing on washing all the blood away. The wound was clean, edges sharp and clean, more a stab than a cut, as it run deep inside the flesh, but opening was fairly small. The bleeding was also starting to fade away. 'Stay here for a moment.' He ordered as he headed upstairs.
He retrieved the bandages and healing lotion from his private supply, proceeding to apply it to the wound carefully and precisely. Eren was still, not flinching at all, even if, as Levi knew perfectly well, it must have stung as a bitch. He looked on kid's face before wrapping bandage over his hand and Eren was watching him work as he was in some kind of trance, clearly contemplating every single one of his moves. Only under that penetrating gaze Levi became aware of how delicate he was, how he held it with caution, even stroking lightly at Eren's fingers during the process. No wonder kid was watching him with that much amusement.
He tried to be less careful while wrapping bandage around the wound, only half succeeding.
'Thank you, Levi' Eren almost whispered as he tied a little bow at the end of the gauze. He suddenly felt helpless as he looked back into Eren's eyes. Even if he wasn't smiling this stupid vividly green eyes of his were. He should have said something, maybe if they did have some company he would have, but all he did was shake his head and let go off his hand.
'You're dismissed. Go have some rest.' He said finally and watched the kid leave, feeling ridiculously happy once Eren turned around in the doorstep and flashed a small smile. At least he did not smile back, and heavens know, he did want to.
On hour later he sent Historia with a cup of sage tea to him. He wanted to go himself, but it might have been a bad idea, so he sent the girl instead. Once she got back she informed him that Eren asked her to thank the captain.
He did not ask Historia to tell Eren he sent her. Possibly she actually didn't.
The training was long over when another messenger arrived, both him and his horse breathless. That Blouse girl was just coming back from the stable as he halted his horse and jumped off directly in front of her, demanding to see Levi as soon as possible.
She led him into the kitchen, where most of them were sitting and chattering quietly, Levi sitting at the table, watching them as they grew more and more comfortable having him around.
It wasn't unexpected yet everyone were shocked.
Annie was awake.
