Week six.
I took a test…It was positive.
I don't think I can bear to tell Alex.
It was hard enough telling her I was raped.
I stood in the bathroom looking at the mirror.
I lifted up my black tank and looked at my slightly bloated stomach.
"Liv' are you o.k. in there?"
"Ummm yeah Lex' just give me a minute."
"O.k. well I gotta go hun have a great day."
I scoffed before grabbing my phone.
"Manhattan prenatal care, how may I help you?"
"Uhhh hi I was wondering if I could make an appointment for tomorrow."
"We have an opening at 10:00am would that be o.k.?"
"Yeah that should be fine."
"would you like to remain anonymous?"
"oh ah no."
"Then can I please have your name?"
"Sorry yeah make it under Olivia Benson."
"O.k. so tomorrow at 10:00am for an Olivia Benson. Thanks for calling."
I hung up and placed the phone on the counter.
"I'm so sorry Alex…"
I decided that work would be a good idea to take my mind off everything so I stood up and got dressed.
The squad seemed to handle the fact that I was gay pretty well.
In fact I wouldn't blame them if they'd expected it.
The fact that I was dating Alexandra Cabot went down a bit differently at first.
That they weren't expecting…
Now they were all fine with it.
In the end they just wanted what made me happy.
When I came back from Sealview they all knew what'd happened to me.
I never asked who told them and I didn't particularly care.
I still had Alex and that's all that mattered.
The ride to work took the better half of 15 minutes.
I walked straight through to the captains office.
"Hey Olivia. What's up?" Cragen said as he looked up.
"I was just wondering if I could take tomorrow off."
"That should be fine. Is everything o.k.?"
"Yeh I just thought I might surprise Alex."
Gonna' be a big surprise I thought.
"Oh o.k. Say hi for me."
"Will do cap'"
I shut the door and took a deep breath on my way out.
"Alex!"
She turned to me with a confused look.
"Surprised to see me are we?" She said as she kissed me lightly on the lips.
"Get a room!" Shouted Elliot with a sly look on his face.
I gave him the finger and proceeded to kiss Alex.
When she pulled away I smiled at her.
"So Alex what brings you here today?" Cragen said as surprised as I was.
"I just wanted to know how the Bree Taylor case was going."
Bree Talyor was a 16 year old girl that was raped and tortured to the point of suicide.
We were trying to prove that our suspect Luke Thomas drove her to her suicide.
"We haven't gotten anything new yet." Fin mumbled.
"Well find something this girl cannot have died for nothing."
"We know Alex and we're doing all we can right now."
Alex sighed as I put my hand on her shoulder.
"I know, I'm sorry guys I…I just want to see him locked up."
"We all do Alex." Elliot reassured her.
"Well I guess I should go."
Alex kissed my cheek and walked out the door.
I ran after her and only just managed to catch her in the hallway.
"Lex' wait up."
She turned around and stopped to wait for me.
"What's wrong Liv'"
"Nothing I was just wondering what you were doing for lunch tomorrow."
"I thought you were working tomorrow." She said puzzled.
"I just asked for the day off."
She smiled at me and slid her hand in mine.
"For you I'm not doing anything."
I kissed her lightly on the lips before releasing her hand.
"Ummm I gotta go but how about O'Malley's at 3?"
"Sorry Lex' I can't make that."
"Liv' you have the whole day off. Why not?"
"Because I'll be at Lucy's at 2."
She looked at me oddly before saying…
"Lucy's? Fancy Benson but I can't make it. How about Central park at 4?"
"Central park at 4 sounds good Lex'. I'll see you tonight."
As she was going out she blew me a kiss.
"I don't know how I ever lived without her…"
I was just about to head back when I heard Elliot yell my name.
"We got a case down at Harlem."
"O.k. I'm on it."
I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door with Elliot.
"Her name is Elsie." Said Melinda pointing to a timid Red headed girl.
I approached the 9 year old cautiously.
As I bent down beside her she looked at me.
She had a large purple/green bruise on the side of her face.
"Hi Elsie my names Olivia."
She just smiled at me.
"Can you tell me how you got that bruise?"
She shook her head.
"Would you be more comfortable down at the station?"
She nodded.
Once back at the precinct I talked to Elsie for about 4 hours.
Eventually she got tired so we sent her home with an emergency foster family.
She told me that she got the bruise from her mother's boyfriend.
For some reason my stomach flipped violently when she said it.
I almost threw up.
I'm going to put it down to the fact that I'm pregnant.
Hrmmm pregnant and me don't seem to go together right.
I hope Alex can handle it…But then again I don't expect her too.
This isn't her problem it's mine.
I'm scared though.
I don't think I can do it alone…
I did some paperwork then decided to head home.
Alex wasn't there yet so I flicked on the TV and sat on the couch.
What am I supposed to do?
I can't handle a baby.
I mean it doesn't even have a fighting chance as it is.
It's already the baby of a rapist and a rapists daughter…
Maybe I should just get rid of it.
No I can't do that.
I would never.
How can I think such things?
There was nothing on TV so I switched it off and decided to take a nap before Alex got home.
"Liv'…Liv' honey…" Alex cooed.
I groaned and rolled back over.
"Liv' it's 11:00."
That sent me bolting upright.
"Sorry Lex'."
"Don't be I just got back. How long have you been asleep for?"
I tousled my hair as Alex took of her shoes.
"Since about 8."
"Well I'm stuffed so do you wanna come join me in bed? I'm sure it's much comfier than the couch."
"Sure Lex'"
I slowly detached myself from the couch and wondered off to bed with Alex not far behind.
I slid off my pants and unbuttoned my shirt.
Once in my underwear and tank I slipped under the covers.
Alex came out of the bathroom in her white shirt and black skirt.
She was in the midst of brushing her hair.
"Lex'?"
"Yeah Liv'" She said as she unbuttoned her shirt and slid the skirt down her slender legs and onto the floor.
"I love you." I smiled.
She took off her shirt and walked towards me.
"I love you too Liv'. More than anything in the world."
She leant over the side of the bed and kissed me gently on the lips before heading back to the bathroom.
"Hey Liv'. Why are we having lunch tomorrow?"
After a few seconds of no reply she put the brush down on the counter and walked out of the bathroom to find me asleep.
She wandered over and tucked me in.
Before she went to sleep herself she brushed the hair from my face and kissed my forehead.
"Night Liv'."
I awoke with the sun streaming through the blinds.
I rolled over to put my arm around Alex only to realise that she wasn't there.
When I opened my eyes I was alone in the bed.
I frowned and looked over at the clock.
It was 9:00.
"Shit."
I got dressed and was just about to grab my keys when I saw a yellow post-it-note stuck to the door.
Morning gorgeous,
Looking forward to our picnic lunch.
Sorry it had to be so late.
I promise that I'll make it up to you.
Alex xx
The note made me smile.
Just as I opened the door I had to run back to the bathroom.
I gripped the bowl and threw up with so much force I thought I was about to throw up my stomach.
After about 10 minutes of this I got up, wiped my mouth and headed to my appointment.
"Sorry I'm late."
"No problem." Smiled the woman.
"You're Olivia Benson?"
"Oh yes I'm sorry."
The woman turned to me and shook my hand.
"I'm Renee' Baker. Take a seat if you'd like."
I smiled at her and sat down.
"So Olivia you took a home pregnancy test?"
"Uhhh yes, yesterday right before I called."
She nodded as she wrote everything down.
"So are you keeping the baby?"
I hesitated for a second.
"Yes, yes I am."
She looked up at me and smiled.
"Terrific. Do you have any idea how far along you are?"
I calculated in my head.
"Yeah I'm about 6 weeks."
"That's just what I would have guessed."
Slowly this all seemed to be getting realer.
It was scary.
"Do you have a partner to go through this with?"
Having already been prepared for weird looks I was upfront.
"Yes my girlfriend Alex."
"So IVF or…?"
This I wasn't prepared for but none the less.
"No actually I was raped."
I gulped.
She didn't say anything at first but she did give me a sympathetic look.
It was then that she looked me in the eye.
"I admire your strength."
I was a little surprised.
If only I admired my own.
"So would you like to know what's happening to your baby?"
"Definitely." I chuckled.
"O.k. well in the 6th week the babies first heartbeats start. The umbilical cord begins to develop and the eyes, ears and mouth opening begin to appear. Also small buds where the arms and legs will be begin to appear. This week your baby will grow rapidly as its major organs begin to appear and develop."
I was shocked.
I didn't know this all happened so fast!
"Wow."
"I know. Now as well as the baby changing and developing you do too."
"I've noticed…"
"Yes. Well this week you should start getting morning sickness although be warned, it doesn't just occur in the morning."
"Damn I can't handle it all through the day."
"So you've already had morning sickness?"
"Ahhh yeah it started this morning."
"Brilliant."
"To you maybe…" I mumbled.
"What was that?"
"Oh nothing…"
"So yes apart from morning sickness you may crave some foods where as others the mere smell of will make you sick. Since it's an important time in your babies development we highly recommend that now is when you stop smoking, drinking and you should also start avoiding toxic fumes such as the ones from a manicure, pedicure or perm."
"That's easy. I don't smoke, I drink on occasion but that's easy to stop and I never have time for any of those beauty treatments."
"What about your girlfriend?"
"She's the same."
"That's good. Now this is generally a good period to tell people that you're expecting though some women do wait until they're past the point of a miscarriage."
A miscarriage, that hadn't even occurred to me.
"I always suggest that you tell people even if you are afraid of miscarrying purely because when someone has a miscarriage it can be tough to handle alone though I wouldn't be expecting a miscarriage because you are young and you appear extremely healthy."
She smiled at me.
"So have you told your girlfriend?"
"Uhhh no not yet. I set up a picnic lunch for today so that I can tell her."
"That's cute. We're almost finished here there's just a few more things."
I glanced at my watch.
I'd been here for two hours already.
It was already 12.
"So last major topic…Twins."
"Twins?"
"Yes at this point since we can't do an ultrasound until you're 2 months we're unsure if you're carrying twins. I'd just like to make sure that you keep this in mind."
"O.k. is that all?"
"Almost. Just a few tips for this week."
"Uh huh."
"Firstly since you'll be feeling a bit crappy because of the morning sickness I suggest that you just relax and leave the housework to your girlfriend. I also suggest you take it easy at work and avoid things like coffee."
"No coffee?"
"Yeah no coffee… Lastly you need to keep a diet high in protein and carbohydrates as well as drinking lots of water I also suggest that you keep some salty crackers or some pretzels on your bedside table to eat BEFORE you get up."
"O.k. sounds reasonably easy."
"That's good so if you have any problems don't hesitate to call or drop in. I'll schedule you for an appointment every 2 weeks and I'll call you every week that you don't have an appointment."
"I should be able to handle that." I said as I picked up my bag and keys.
"By the way don't forget that you get your first ultrasound picture next appointment."
"I won't. It was lovely meeting you Renee'."
"Same to you Olivia. Feel free to bring Alex in for your next appointment."
I looked at my watch.
"That's o.k. it's only 1:00 I have 3 hours."
With that I headed of to the supermarket.
"Lettuce. Check, Eggs. Check, Chocolate. Check."
I had everything set out on the bench.
"O.k. Liv' you can do this." I said as I plopped the eggs in the boiling water.
If I can't remember how to boil eggs how am I ever supposed to look after a kid.
When the eggs were boiled I mashed them up and put them in the fridge while I tore the lettuce and buttered the bread.
I fetched an old red blanket from the cupboard and an old style basket I'd picked up years ago but never got to use.
I took the eggs out of the fridge and made egg and lettuce sandwiches.
Once they were made I cut them in half and wrapped them up in white paper before placing them carefully in the basket.
I then picked up the block of chocolate and placed it on top of the sandwiches.
Last but not least I folded the blanket and put it in the basket.
I quickly got changed into some jeans and my black shirt before heading to the car.
"3:00 that's perfect." I said as I stepped out of the car.
I found a nice spot underneath the cover of a big tree and began to set up.
Just as I was spreading the blanket out on the ground my phone vibrated.
I grabbed it from my pocket and looked at the message.
Alex: Where exactly in central park am I meeting you?
Olivia: It's a secret…
Alex: What am I meant to do? Hunt you?
Olivia: Would you?
Alex: You know I would ;)
Olivia: Tease.
Alex: Well out with it. Where do I go?
Olivia: Text me when you get here. Then I'll tell you.
Alex: Fine…
I put my phone back in my pocket before setting up the sandwiches on the blanket.
I left the chocolate hidden in the basket then I just relaxed in the sun until I felt my phone vibrate again.
Alex: I'm here.
Olivia: Where are you?
Alex: I'm at the archway.
Olivia: Good you're close...
Alex: I'd be closer if only you'd tell me where you were!
Olivia: Patience… I'm underneath the giant tree.
Alex: I see a lot of giant tree's
Olivia: The one on the hill overlooking the running path.
Alex: Gotcha
Alex came up behind me.
She put her arms around my waist and kissed me as though she hadn't seen me in years…
It was nice.
"Glad you could make it counsellor."
"Not only did I make it detective I also got the rest of the day off."
"Well that's terrific."
She sat down on the rug next to me before looking me over.
"What is it Lex'?"
"I feel overdressed…"
"Well for one you just came form work. I did not and two I think you look like the delicious ADA that I fell for."
I gave a sly grin as she lightly punched my shoulder.
"So what's on the menu?"
"Oh sorry I almost forgot. My dearest Alex for lunch today we have egg and lettuce sandwiches made by mwa."
"Are you sure they're not poisonous then?" Alex chuckled.
I poked my tongue out at her before handing her a sandwich and taking one for myself.
It was about 5:00 by the time we finished eating.
The sun was starting to set just beyond the hill.
It was beautiful.
Alex was more beautiful.
As I lay down on the rug Alex did too.
She snuggled into me.
I used my free arm to wrap around her and pull her closer while I inconspicuously took the chocolate from the basket.
"Dessert too? You're spoiling me Liv'"
I broke of a piece and placed it in her mouth.
"You deserve it Lex'"
I stroked the hair from her face and pulled her closer.
I took in the fresh scent of coconut from her hair.
"You smell nice…" I whispered.
"Don't I always?" She said as she kissed my cheek.
"Always Lex'. You're perfect."
"If only everyone else thought so…"
I know the feeling I thought.
"Liv' not meaning to spoil the evening but why are we here?"
I gulped hard.
I wished I could say we were here because I wanted to spoil her but I can't lie to her.
"Liv'?" She whispered as she turned to face me.
I looked at her baby blues and broke.
Tears streamed down my face as she pulled me into her.
"Liv'…Liv' what's wrong?"
I looked back at her.
"I'm pregnant Alex…"
I started shaking as she pulled me closer.
"What do you want to do?"
"I'm keeping it I…I just don't think I can do it alone…" I choked between sobs.
She lifted my chin so I could see her properly.
"Liv' you don't have to do it alone. You have me."
"Alex I can't ask you to raise my rapists baby."
"You don't need to ask Liv' I'd do anything for you."
I wiped my eyes and pulled her into a hug.
"I don't deserve you Lex'."
"I don't deserve you either. I don't deserve someone as beautiful and strong and kind hearted as you."
She stared into my chocolate brown eyes with such love that I knew she wouldn't leave me.
"Alex you're perfect. You're beautiful, smart, compassionate and understanding."
"Olivia when I said I loved you I meant it. I can promise you here and now that I will stand by you no matter what comes our way. I will love you with all my heart all my life."
"Longer than forever?"
"Longer than forever babe."
I kissed her soft lips and invaded her mouth with my tongue as she did with mine.
As I softly pushed her shoulders she leant back on the blanket as I straddled her hips never losing contact with her mouth as we went down.
After a while I broke the kiss and rolled off her to lay by her side.
"Are you sure you can handle this Lex'?"
"I'm a lawyer. You're a cop. I'm sure we'll do just fine."
"Thank you Alex."
"For what?"
"Everything."
When we got home it was about 10:00 and I was stuffed.
I just wanted to collapse and sleep.
I did exactly that…
The next night I told Alex everything the doctor told me.
Sure enough when I woke up the next morning there was an airtight container full of pretzels.
Yum.
She was rather exited that she could come along and see the first ultrasound.
I felt better knowing that Alex was willing to go through this with me.
Week seven.
I'd been throwing up violently for a week now.
It was killing me!
Alex wouldn't let me get out of bed until I'd eaten at least 2 pretzels.
I'd be asleep almost every night before she got home so she'd make my next days lunch and dinner before she went to bed.
I'd been reduced to red meat, pasta's, white bread and mushrooms.
I'd often wake up in the bed alone.
Everyday there'd be a post-it-note on the door so I'd see it when I went to work.
This mornings read…
Morning Liv'
Your lunch and dinner are in the freezer.
Take your lunch to work.
I'll be home a bit earlier tonight so try to be awake!
Love you.
Alex xx
Her notes always made me smile.
I turned back around to the kitchen to get my lunch from the freezer.
Beef stir fry .
"Thankyou Alex…"
By lunch I'd already thrown up 4 times.
Elliot noticed me running off and eventually asked me what was wrong.
I said I had the flu.
His response:
"Then stay the hell away from me! I don't want what you have."
I just laughed at him before getting my lunch from the microwave and sitting down at my desk.
"Kathy doesn't even make me lunch anymore. How do you get Alex to make yours?"
"Just lucky I guess. She makes me dinner to." I smirked.
"And let me guess she's the dessert." He said with a sly grin.
"Exactly."
That afternoon I walked into Cragens office.
I tapped on the door slightly only to open it and find him asleep.
I was just about to leave when I heard a muffled response.
"What cap?"
He sat up and I realised that he was still in his suit and I laughed.
"I said what do you want?"
"Oh ah I was wondering if I could have a day off next week."
"Another surprise for Alex?"
"No actually this is personnel."
He gave me an odd look.
"I thought Alex was personnel."
I laughed.
"I guess so but only if you get all that paperwork finished tonight."
"It's a deal."
When I closed the door to his office it hit me.
"Shit!"
"What is it Liv'?"
I looked over at Elliot.
"Oh nothing I just forgot something."
He shook his head and returned his gaze to his desk.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and walked out to the corridor.
I dialled a familiar number.
I got Alex's answering machine.
"Hey gorgeous, I need to work later tonight in order to get that day off next week.
I'm sorry Lex' I'll make it up to you."
I was just about to put my phone away when I thought of how I could make it up to her.
I leant back into the squad room.
"Hey El' I'll be back in 15."
I ran down the street and into the flower shop.
The various smells hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Don't throw up on the flowers…Don't throw up on the flowers…" I kept mumbling to myself.
I looked around at all the flowers.
Rose's?
No, too formal and besides there were no red ones.
Lily's?
No, Alex doesn't like the smell.
Then I saw them.
Daffodils.
They're Alex's favourite.
An assistant came over to me and wrapped the flowers in white tissue paper and a big yellow ribbon.
Alex was gonna' love this.
After writing a note for Alex I had the flowers delivered and headed back to the precinct.
I walked into my office and sat down.
I just tried the Bree Taylor case.
He was found not guilty.
What a load of shit.
I dropped my bag on the floor beside my desk and took my phone from my pocket.
"Damn."
I missed a call from Liv'.
When I listened to the message my heart sunk.
I was looking forward to spending some time with her.
I'd be up and gone before her in the morning and I'd be home later than her almost every night.
It was killing me that I couldn't be there with her.
That's why when I got home I'd make sure she had the food she needed for a proper diet.
I was intent to do all that I could to help her through this.
Olivia is the strongest most beautiful person I know, inside and out.
I didn't deserve her.
I looked up to see someone standing in my doorway.
"Uhmmm I have a delivery for an Alexandra Cabot."
"That's me."
The pimply faced boy walked up to my desk and placed a bunch of daffodils on my desk.
As he was walking out Elisabeth Donnelly walked in.
"Who are the flowers from?"
I looked at the card.
"They're from Olivia." I smiled.
Liz' still hadn't entirely gotten used to me being gay let alone going out with Olivia Benson.
"Tell her I said hi. I only came in here to let you know that tomorrow you're trying the case of Elsie Laughlan."
"Will do, Thanks Liz'. Oh Liz' can I have the day off next week?"
"Sure."
"Thanks."
I felt a large grin come to face when I read Liv's note.
Alex,
Sorry I couldn't make it tonight.
I love you with all my heart.
Longer than forever…
Liv' xx
God she was sweet.
I lifted the daffodils to my nose and smelt their fresh scent.
How did Olivia remember that these were my favourite?
In an hour I'd be able to pack up and go home.
On my way home I realised how I could make it up to Liv' for taking me for a picnic.
She'd been going on about cheesecake for the past week so I decided to pick up some strawberry cheesecake on my way back.
When I got home I put my bag on the floor in our room and my shoes in the cupboard.
I unbuttoned my shirt slightly and walked into the kitchen.
I leant on the bench and pushed the hair from my face.
There was a photo of Olivia and I on the counter form when we went out for the annual Christmas party.
Come to think of it it was only 2 months till the Christmas party.
Liv' would be 11 weeks pregnant by then.
Perfect.
I walked into our bedroom and lifted up the mattress to get my lockbox key.
I rifled through the bottom of the cupboard to find the lockbox.
When I opened it I took out the small red velvet box.
I was going to ask Olivia to marry me at the Christmas party.
I was going to leave it for another year but I needed her to know that I wasn't going to leave her through this.
I never wanted to leave her.
I opened the box and traced my fingers over the diamond and then through the inside where I could feel the engraftment.
It read:
Longer than forever.
I love Olivia and this is how I'm going to show her.
It was 7:00 by the time I finished making Olivia's lunch and dinner for tomorrow.
I'd made her some steak and roast vegetables.
The cheesecake was cooling in the freezer for later.
I knew she wouldn't be home until about 10 so that gave me plenty of time to set up.
I started moving things in the lounge room to the side.
I took all the nice cushions from the linen cupboard and put them at the foot of our bed.
Why am I doing this?
Because I love her.
Really I just wanted to surprise her like she did with me.
Once I'd set the cushions up at the end of the bed I put a new red and black satin flower bedspread on the bed complete with pillow covers.
I was very proud with my bedroom accomplishment.
I puttered around the lounge room placing rose scented candles on tables, benches and dressers.
I also did that with the bedroom.
I got some glass dishes and sat some candles on the floor around where we were going to sit later.
I was almost done.
I got a bit of paper form the printer and wrote in large letters:
WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T TURN ON THE LIGHTS!
I then stuck it too the front door.
I then proceeded to stick bright yellow post-it-notes around near the candles.
The only things left to do were plate the cheesecake, get changed and light the candles.
All that had to be done later though.
It was 9:00.
I'd sat and watched TV for about an hour and a half so I decided that now was a good time to text Liv'.
Alex: Can you listen to instructions?
Olivia: Maybe…
Alex: If you can't then don't bother coming home ;)
Olivia: Note taken. And of course I can listen to instructions…I'd do anything for you.
Alex: I love you Liv' by the way thanks for the flowers.
Olivia: I love you too Lex' see you in about an hour xx
I went into my room to get changed into something I knew Olivia would like.
Once I was changed I plated and cut the cheesecake then placed it in the room on the floor.
I started lighting all the candles then I turned off all the lights and sat patiently in the room awaiting Olivia.
I stepped out of the elevator and walked up to the front door.
As I was grabbing my keys I spotted the piece of paper on the door.
"Don't turn the lights on…"
O.K. this is kind of odd.
None the less I listened to Alex's instructions.
When I opened the door it was almost pitch black except for a few candles.
mmm…rose scented.
I put my bag on the floor and my shoes next to it before I slowly walked to the first candle.
At almost every candle was a yellow post-it-note.
The first read:
Hey Liv',
Be careful it's dark.
The second was by the dressing table…
Getting closer…
p.s- Take off your jacket.
I hesitated for a moment.
Was she watching me?
Who cares.
I took off my jacket and threw it on the couch.
I slowly walked towards the last post-it-note that was located on the bedroom door.
I love you.
She'd put a tiny heart on the bottom right corner.
I tucked this note in my pocket.
I carefully and quietly pushed open the door.
Inside there was candles everywhere.
Strawberry cheesecake, cushions and Alex.
"Hello Liv'"
"Alex, sorry I'm late."
As I walked in to sit beside her on the cushions my mouth almost dropped to the floor.
She was wearing the little black dress that she wore to last years Christmas party.
"Now I feel underdressed…"
"I wouldn't worry about clothes tonight Liv'." She said as she moved to sit next to me.
She kissed me as I pulled her closer, letting her lean against me.
"I see that desert is already served."
"Yeah you've been saying that you wanted cheesecake so I thought I'd spoil you."
I looked at her slyly.
"I wasn't talking about the cake."
"Liv' flattery won't get you anywhere till later."
I pouted before having a teaspoon full of cheesecake fed to me.
I did the same for her.
"Why are we eating cheesecake in the dark?"
She looked at me as though I'd asked the stupidest question possible before replying:
"Why not eat cheesecake in the dark?"
I guess she had a point.
We sat in near silence for about two hours eating cheesecake ever so often stealing a kiss or two.
"Liv'?"
"Yeah Lex'." I said turning to her.
"Do you want me to come to the ultrasound next week?"
"More than anything. Do you want to come?"
"I already have the day off."
I kissed her forehead.
"Thank you Alex."
"No problem. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to raise your children."
God she was sweet but…
"Alex they're his children too…"
She sat up, grabbing my shoulders so I did too.
"Olivia I need you to listen to me."
I only nodded.
"This is NOT his baby. He will NEVER see you or the baby and if he does if I have it my way he won't even know the baby's his. Despite the horrible circumstances in which you were conceived you turned out a strong, beautiful, articulate, intelligent and successful woman and same goes for this baby. This baby will have every opportunity we can give it. I will stick by you wether this baby biologically his child or not. Do you know why? Because it's your child too. Anything that holds even the slightest part of your heart has more than a fighting chance. Olivia you love this baby. I can see it whenever you look down at your stomach. Whenever you hug me softer because of your stomach. Whenever you let me tell you what to eat. Whenever you ask me if I'm sure if I can handle it. You look at your stomach everyday because you're so scared you're not doing something right so you say sorry just in case. You hug me softer because you're afraid that you'll hurt the baby. You listen to me telling you what to eat because you want to stay healthy for the baby so that it has an even better chance of being healthy. You ask me if I can handle this almost everyday because you're so afraid that you wouldn't be able to do it yourself. You're afraid of stuffing up because you don't realise how strong you are and how good a mother you already are. You're a good mother because you've already chosen to keep the baby. You're trying so hard. I can see it in everything you do…"
I wiped the tears from my eyes.
"I'm surprised I have any heart left. I've given it all too you."
"I'm willing to share." She smiled.
"I love you Alex."
"I love you too Liv'."
"So Liv' when should we tell everyone else?"
"I…I'm not sure Lex'. Maybe after the ultrasound."
"Well make sure I'm there."
"Lex'."
"Yeah."
"I'm sort of afraid of telling them…"
"Liv' everyone at the precinct knows how you were conceived. Correct?"
"Correct."
"Well then they'll all see the strong, beautiful and compassionate woman that I see."
"And if they don't?"
"Then they'll have me to deal with."
She smiled at me.
"You've always got my back Lex'."
"Of course!"
"Oh and Lex'."
"Yes…"
"Will flattery get me anywhere now?"
I gave Olivia a sly grin before jumping onto the bed.
"I'll take that as a yes!"
Olivia was already in her bra and panties by the time she got to me.
I was still in the little black dress.
She prowled up to me as I lay back against the pillows.
Her strong hands held my shoulders down as her tongue invaded my mouth.
With each gentle probe, lick and bite I let a slight moan escape.
This seemed to please her.
She slowly began to slide the straps of my dress down my shoulders then the entire dress down my waist and thighs.
She then proceeded to chuck it onto the floor in a crumpled heap.
"That was a very expensive dress." I mumbled with the small amount of air I had.
"I'll buy you a new one." She mumbled.
I hungrily grabbed at her bra strap until it came undone.
When she slid it down her arms it revealed her beautiful olive tanned breasts.
I attempted to pull her closer but she sat up straddling my hips with her knees.
"Liv'?"
Her reply wasn't with words but with touch…
Her hands trailed over my body.
First her fingers across my cheeks then trailing down my neck with a series of soft kisses following.
They made their way over my breasts, slowly massaging them.
Next they were on my back tearing at my bra as I did with hers.
Her fingers clicked open the straps and then slid the bra off my shoulders, arms and wrists.
She then felt my bare breasts.
First with hands then with the flick of her tongue.
Her little nibbles sent me reeling.
Her hands trailed down my waist and inner thighs while her tongue never left my breasts.
Then inside me, moving with soft deep strokes.
"Hey Lex'." She whispered as she wrapped her arms around me.
"Yeah."
"When and how are we gonna' tell your parents?"
"Olivia we just made love and you want to talk about my parents?"
"Point taken."
I looked into her eyes as we lay under the covers cuddling together.
"I don't know but we should probably tell them before we tell anyone else."
"Agreed."
We fell asleep in each others arms.
It was peaceful.
"Alex…Alex…" I cooed.
She groaned.
"Lex' don't you have to go to work?"
I got a muffled reply.
"What?"
She looked up at me with a disgruntled expression.
"I said that I don't have to be in until the afternoon!"
"Why?"
"Because all I have to do is try the Elsie Laughlan case."
"Oh well o.k. but I gotta' go to work. I'll be home some time after 10."
I was just about to walk off when she grabbed my arm.
When I turned around she kissed me.
She was warm, soft, delicious.
"Liv'."
"Mmmm…"
"Don't forget your lunch."
I gave her one last kiss before I walked to the freezer.
Mmmm Steak.
"Thank you Lex'."
"No problem!"
Just as I opened the door I realised that this was the first day in about a month that there'd been no post-it-note on the door.
I pulled a crumpled yellow post-it-note from my pocket and stuck it to the door before heading out to the precinct.
I finally decided to get out of bed at around 10.
Liv' had left at around 7:00am.
It was good to sleep in but it would have been better if I got to sleep with Olivia.
I tossed back the covers and cleaned up the house a bit.
Candles, pillows and leftover cheesecake were all packed up.
I took my black skirt and jacket out of the cupboard and my white shirt from the drawer.
Once I was changed I brushed my hair and had a glass of milk.
I then grabbed my keys and went to head out the door.
The post-it-note stopped me.
I don't remember putting one there…
I took it off the door and realised that it was my handwriting from last night.
"She was going to keep it…"
I put the small note in my pocket before leaving.
"Hey Liv' what's going on with that Elsie Laughlan case?"
"Uhmmm I'm not sure El' all I know is that Alex is trying the case today."
"Are you getting called as a witness?"
"Why would I?"
"Because you talked to her for like 4 hours and you were on the scene before me."
"Well no but maybe next time this trials only the one between the mothers boyfriend and us the next one involves Elsie."
Just then a short brown haired woman walked into the precinct.
"Can I help you with anything?"
"Yes, I'm looking for an Olivia Benson."
That's me…"
She walked up tome and handed me an envelope.
"You've been served."
Then she walked out.
Elliot started laughing.
"Fuck off Elliot. You jinxed me."
"What's that?" Asked Cragen as he walked in the door.
"It's a subpoena for the next Elsie Laughlan trial part."
"Good luck."
"Dr Louis will you please tell the court what Perry Harris…"
"Objection!"
"Overruled! Counsellor you're on thin ice."
"Dr Louis will you please tell the court what Perry Harris did to Elsie Laughlan."
She was nervous.
This guy was a psycho.
I'm just waiting for him to lunge out of his seat.
"Dr Louis will you please answer the question."
"Perry Harris raped and beat Elsie Laughlan until she was unconscious. He then left her to die."
"Who came to the hospital to pick Elsie up?"
"Annabelle Laughlan, Elsie's Mother."
"And what did she say?"
"Objection!"
"Counsellors we'll continue this in my chambers. Jury dismissed until further notice."
"Shit!" I mumbled under my breath.
I picked up my bag before heading to Kinski's chambers.
"What was going on in there Alexandra?"
"Me! Mr Garret is objecting to everything I say."
"Your honour Miss Cabot is asking unreasonable questions."
"I don't believe so Mr Garret but you may proceed."
"When Miss Cabot asked Dr Louis what my client did to Elsie Laughlan she was implying that it was my client!"
"Your client is the one on trial and besides we have DNA evidence to prove it was your client."
"The DNA evidence was thrown out Miss Cabot."
"He may be a slime ball but he has a point Alexandra."
"Then why did you overrule his objection!"
"Alexandra are you questioning my authority?"
"What I would never!"
"Looks like you've gotten yourself into a bit of hot water Miss Cabot."
"Mr Garret contain yourself or you'll be suspended also!"
"You can't suspend me!"
"Not me personally but after the stunts you've pulled I'm going to recommend it to Liz'."
"What is wrong with you!"
I stormed out of her chambers.
Fuck I'm screwed.
"Hey Alex."
"Hey Fin. Where's Liv'?"
"Uhmmm I think she's with the captain."
"Cool thanks."
I practically ran to Cragen's office.
"Hey Alex."
I gave Elliot a small wave before knocking on Cragen's door.
"Who is it?"
"Alex."
Olivia opened the door for me.
"Hey Liv'. Captain."
Olivia kissed me on the cheek before Cragen inconspicuously cleared his throat.
"Sorry Captain." Olivia whispered.
"So Alex what brings you here?"
"I'm suspended."
Olivia and Cragen just stared at me.
"What the fuck did you do to piss of a judge!"
"Nothing! She thinks I was questioning her authority."
"Were you?"
"No! I'm not that stupid and besides Liz' will take it easy on me because she knows how irrational Kinski is."
"Excuse me girls can we please get back to why we're here in the first place."
"Why are we here?"
"I got subpoenaed for the Elsie Laughlan case."
"When?"
"This afternoon."
"Looks like we have a big problem on our hands."
"I'm fine I've testified before but if Alex is suspended then who's gonna' be working with us?"
"I have no idea but I gotta' go see Liz'."
"See you tonight Lex'."
"Unless this works out in my favour I'll be home in about an hour."
"Hello Alexandra."
"Liz'."
"Kinski came to me earlier about your little stunt."
"What stunt!"
"That's what I asked her."
"So am I suspended?"
"If a judge comes to me about one of you I have to do something but since I don't think that you did anything wrong you only get two a month."
"Only a month!"
"Alex that's the best I could do. You know how Kinski can be."
"I…I know Liz' I'm sorry. So I'm assuming that it's affective as of now."
"You assumed correctly."
"Bye Liz'."
I walked in the door and didn't even bother changing.
Why did it matter?
I now officially have a month of nothing to do.
Maybe I could take Olivia to see my parents for a week.
It'd give Olivia some down time and it'd be the perfect opportunity to tell them Olivia's pregnant.
Let's see she has the ultrasound next week so maybe when she's 9 weeks along.
Olivia: Are you suspended?
Alex: Yupp. Hey Liv' do you wanna' go see my parents?
Olivia: Why? When?
Alex: Because then we can tell them your pregnant and I can see them.
Olivia: Fair enough. Talk later xx.
Alex: O.k. babe xx
Terrific.
Just then the phone began to ring.
"Hello."
"Hello is Olivia Benson there?"
"No sorry she's at work may I ask who's calling?"
"Sorry, This is Renee' Baker I'm Olivia's prenatal care doctor."
"Oh Hi Olivia told me about you. I'm her girlfriend Alex."
"Oh Alex. Are you coming with Olivia next week."
"You bet!"
"That's good to hear well I was just calling to update Olivia on what's happening but I'm not going to be able to talk to he again till next week as I'm going out of town on a conference so might I be able to tell you?"
"Of course. I'm here to help her."
"That I don't doubt. O.k. so the baby grows dramatically this week. This week the major focus points are the brain, lenses of the eyes, nostrils, intestines, pancreas and bronchi. Olivia's body won't change much more. Her belly should still be incredibly invisible especially being her first pregnancy. You'd only see it if you knew she was pregnant. She may have gained a kilo or lost a kilo or maybe even both. Now is also when you can start detecting multiples."
"Multiples?"
"Yeah like twins, triplets and quadruplets. The signs are things like faster rate of weight gain, varicose veins, increased fatigue and greater tendency to retain water as well as more violent morning sickness."
"Uh huh anything else?"
"Yes if Olivia's morning sickness is giving her a lot of trouble I suggest getting her some ginger snaps or raw lemon to eat."
"Will do thankyou Renee'."
"Lovely speaking to you Alex say hello to Olivia for me."
"Definitely. Bye."
Wow this pregnancy thing sounded harder than I thought.
How can Olivia handle this?
But I guess she's stronger than me.
I have to be strong for her.
The phone rang again.
"Hello"
"Hey Alex."
"Sadie is that you?"
"Yeah sis, I know it's kind of late notice but I'm in the city at the moment and I was wondering if you wanted to get some late lunch?"
"Uh sure. Where and when?"
"How about blue lagoon coffee in about 20 minutes?"
"Sounds good see you then."
"Cya' sis'."
I hung up the phone.
Wow a call from Sadie.
My sister never calls me specifically, I mean she'll talk to me when mum calls but apart from that she doesn't speak to me.
It's amazing we used to be really close, we still are just not in the same way.
Sadie's 28, immature and still lives with our parents in Texas.
I'm 32, gay, a lawyer and live with my 33 year old girlfriend.
Sadie doesn't have kids just a string of boyfriends.
I have an expecting girlfriend and a steady relationship for 3 years.
Sadie's artistic and free spirited.
I'm Intelligent and logical.
Sadie takes after our mother except our mother prefers gardening.
I don't take after either of them.
We're two completely different people.
None the less she liked Olivia so we didn't have a problem.
I texted Liv' to tell her where I was and then went to lunch with Sadie.
A/N—Sorry if it was kinda long it was like 33 word document pages in size 11 font so yeah…
Sorry if the next ones aren't long Is there anything else you wanna see in it?
If so hit me up with a message xx
P.S heaps and heaps of thankyou to Redandblond for helping me decide that this should be an A/O fanfic you're the best! Xoxoxoxo 3
