Title:
Chapter: 4. All Things Laid Bare
Keywords: Mystery, murder, Tarkin, Luke, Vader
Rating: G
Genre: Adventure/Horror/Mystery
Timeline: Post ESB
Author: Wellingtonboots
Archive: Slytherin Serpent,
Status: Short Multi-chapter
Osprey Eamon: Well, this story started off as a serious murder mystery but then Han got the liqueur and Vader got his needs – paternal needs that it. Glad you like it!
Frodogenic: wow, I am a big fan of your stories, thanks for reviewing! This story has got a great revival after the renewed interest of readers.
Lukelover1222: more updates on the way, I've managed to squeeze out sleep (so overrated) to do this!
Rusalkaz: Han is a man of the world and he'll just keep adding assumptions to his repertoire – some of them are going to get quite disturbing (and amusing) indeed.
Ann Jinn: Han/Vader all the way! Thanks for the review.
ILDV: Thanks for the review, any particular parts you like? Suggestions are most welcome.
Phantom-jedi1: I love suspense and drama and Han has just the spark to ignite all that gunpowder (and he's responsible for stockpiling it in the first place). If you think this is disturbing wait til you see what he thinks up next.
Kage Mirai: Thanks for the encouragement, it really keeps me focused!
26th DAY OF THE FIFTH MONTH, 18.00 HOURS – ALLIANCE QUARTERS, PENTHOUSE
Dinner was over and Luke ducked back into his apartment as quickly as he could before Darth Vader could follow him. It was bad enough having to endure the Dark Lord's undivided attention at every waking moment but the gossip that followed was far worse. Han, having appointed himself guardian of Luke's virtue, was now trailing him like a stalker in need of a restraining order.
"Let me in, little piggie," said Han as he banged on Luke's door, "I promise I haven't come to ra-,"
"Shut up!" snapped Luke as he slammed the door release and sent Han tumbling onto the sky blue carpet.
"Really, you should be glad it was just me and not -,"
"Look I've had enough of this! You're really not helping the situation by telling everyone who will listen that Vader is somehow sexually attracted to me!"
"Well, it is the only explanation," said Han sheepishly, "I mean it's not your fault, you're not encouraging him or anything."
"Oh well from what I've heard, everyone seems to think differently!"
"Hobbie was only joking with you -,"
Suddenly Han stopped mid sentence and stared over Luke's shoulder with an expression of great confusion.
"What?" asked Luke, feeling increasingly annoyed.
"You've been buying art, kid?" said Han quietly as he pointed at the wall behind Luke.
A stab of irrational fear prompted Luke to swing around with much more speed than necessary and he gasped in surprise.
There, hanging innocuously above the dark blue sofa, was a portrait of a small pink house standing on the banks of a sparking river with a graceful, sleek boat floating serenely in the foreground.
"Oh stars, it's the picture!"
"Well, it's not the most romantic gift he could have got you. I mean compared to the Emperor's head on a platter that painting just makes Vader look miserly."
"How did it get in here? I was only out for half an hour at the most," said Luke trying to contain his panic. As much as he understood that the Andaman security forces were entitled to constantly invade his privacy, this was a step too far.
"His Sithliness wanted to surprise you," answered Han as he contemplated the portrait with fake admiration. "It's cute though, maybe he really wants to retire and marry-,"
"Shut up," snapped Luke distractedly, as the phrase had become second nature to their turbulent conversations. "What are the Andamans trying to do? Tell me to back off?"
"Look," said Han seriously, "I think you should just give it a rest. They didn't like you nosing around that bar, so they got the bar tender to drop you a couple of fake hints and then voila you get your biggest clue hanging on your wall."
"Han, I can't back off, something is going here that is so much bigger than this negotiation, I can feel it."
"Uh," muttered Han sceptically, "you getting one of those force induced headaches again?"
"It's called feeling a tremor in the force," said Luke with exasperation
"Whatever, don't say I didn't warn you," grumbled Han as he moved over to the vase of fresh flowers on the coffee table and casually ripped off a delicate violet flower.
"I just need to find out more about this woman…"
"She doesn't exist, kid. Leia thinks the barman was just making it all up and the joke's on you." Bits of mangled purple flowers floated to the floor as Han carelessly tossed his handiwork away. "Come to the casino tonight and play some sabacc, take your mind off all this junk."
"But-,"
"You might find someone to interrogate," suggested Han with a twisted smile, "someone with a nice figure and gorgeous-,"
"Okay, I get it," said Luke looking disgusted. "I'm not coming. I'm going to do some real investigation."
Han produced an exaggerated sigh and threw himself onto the sofa in with his typical attitude.
"Well, I'd guess I better tag along"
26th DAY OF THE FIFTH MONTH, 20.00 HOURS – WATERLILY CASINO AND BAR, LEVEL 12
Wes and Hobbie, the heroes of Yavin and greatest pilots in the Alliance, were strutting across the Waterlily night club with a pair of equally vain members of the opposite sex. Wedge had forfeited his right to a companion when he decided to hit the bar and poison his nervous system but perhaps the reason nobody had yet asked the gin soaked captain to dance was because of the menacing seven foot wookiee standing right beside him.
Chewie was feeling every bit as homicidal as the bar tender who had just been unequivocally informed by a platoon of stormtroopers that his serving skills were substandard and his glasses unhygienic. It was no surprise for those who were still sober enough to notice that the bar tender took extra care to drop a large dollop of cleaning gel into every drink he was remaking.
It was only when seven stormtroopers fled from their seats, clutching their mouths in silent agony, did Chewie realise that he was not the only one who was refusing to partake in the evening's entertainment. The cleared seats provided a good view of the other drinkers still propped upright by a unique combination of luck and skill but one woman looked out of place.
She was, like the others, fighting a losing battle against gravity but something about her stance simply occurred to Chewie as peculiar. Having spent the last few years of his life frequenting hives of scum and villainy, he had seen every conceivable state of drunkenness and this woman was not drunk. She was making a fair attempt at masking the fact but not enough to fool a former smuggler.
The blond lady looked well past her prime but scientific intervention had been so enthusiastic at keeping the wrinkles and sagging at bay that her face reminded him of a kaadu skin being stretched in a tannery.
There was definitely something odd about this woman and it was time to get a closer look.
26th DAY OF THE FIFTH MONTH, 20.50 HOURS – ALLIANCE QUARTERS, PENTHOUSE
"I've analysed every single frame of the holo from last night," shouted Han in the general direction of the refresher. There was no answer except for a faint splash; Luke was probably pretending to be a fish again.
When Luke had turned to him hours earlier with his famous Skywalker defiance and informed Han that there was no way in the Nine Hells of Corellia he would give up this twisted quest, the former smuggler turned rebel had no idea this investigation involved trawling through three hours of video footage frame by frame…on his own while Luke indulged his love for water.
He had promised to stick with the boy in case Luke decided to take up the stress relieving sport of Imperial beating, but Luke had proved once again that he did not possess Han's superior sense of humour.
The Imperials had unfortunately missed a spectacular beating but looking on the bright side, he thought, Darth Vader wouldn't be getting any free "kicks" from viewing a certain sweat slicked Skywalker.
However, that silver lining was shot down a few minute before the ornate azure clock was due to strike ten.
Had he been cursed with force induced foresight, Han would have seriously considered moving the said clock to a safer location when the time came for its appointed demise but being completely free of intracellular parasitic microorganisms he simply admired the craftsmanship from the comfort of the sofa. Unfortunately it was only after a lengthy appraisal of the artwork did Han realise exactly what time it was.
"Hurry up kid, it's nearly nine o'clock, the sabacc tables are filling up!"
No response,
"Kid! Come on, you can take a bath some other time!"
Still no response,
"I swear I'm going to knock the door down!"
Han, in his determination to get to the casino before all the winnings of the evening were pocketed by completely undeserving, poorly skilled lowlifes, tried one last tactic.
"You know, if you stay in the bath for too long the skin will start peeling off your fingers."
That was when the screaming started.
26th DAY OF THE FIFTH MONTH, 20.53 HOURS – IMPERIAL QUARTERS, PENTHOUSE
A shearing bolt of pure agony ripped through Vader's mind, forcing him to believe for a moment that his suit had malfunctioned but as he drew on his own pain for strength, he realised his son was screaming for help.
Vader reacted out of pure instinct and as he tore through the penthouse suite he felt an emotion that he thought long gone – utter terror.
26th DAY OF THE FIFTH MONTH, 20.54 HOURS – ALLIANCE QUARTERS, PENTHOUSE
"Kid!"
Han was throwing himself at the refresher door like an infuriated wookiee but even a real wookiee could not have broken a durasteel lock from the outside.
The screams and frantic splashing seemed to pass right through the thick metal, as if Luke was right next to him rolling in agony.
Heart pounding, arms shaking from pain and fear, Han drew his blaster.
"I'm coming!"
He aimed at the lock and squeezed the trigger as hard as he could, as if it would somehow make a difference. Bolts of red light exploded on the lock but dissipated with a hiss leaving nothing more than a scorch mark.
"Damn it!"
He squeezed the trigger again as Luke's screams reached a crescendo but to his utter astonishment another streak of crimson light arched over his head and burnt right through the lock.
A huge black figure pushed him aside and kicked the door open with one smooth gesture.
Then, before Han's mind had completely registered the last few seconds, he saw Vader pulling Luke from a seething mass of water onto his lap.
"Let go of him!"
As Han ran forwards to help, his head smashed into an invisible pane of glass and it was moments before he regained his senses.
When he came to, Han saw that the Dark Lord of the Sith had whipped off his cloak and was now drying a heaving, sobbing, naked Luke. The boy was still alive but his body was red and raw as if he had been flayed alive but as Vader wiped each part of Luke's body dry, the redness subsided almost instantly.
Eventually after several heart-stopping minutes, Luke simply lay panting in exhaustion support only by Vader's thighs as the Dark Lord knelt on the wet floor of refresher.
When the pain finally cleared from his mind, Luke got his first really look at his saviour…and leapt to his feet screaming.
Unfortunately, the menacing cape Vader had always worn was tangled around his legs and he simply fell back right into Vader's arms.
"Get off me!"
Kicking in vain to free his legs, Luke only made the situation worse by knotting the cape firmly around his ankles, leaving the rest of his body utterly bare.
"Help!"
Han was metres away, gaping like a beached whale and offering no assistance.
"Stop that!" snarled Vader as he gripped Luke's thin body to his chest and bought his left knee up to support Luke's back. "You will make it worse."
"It can't get any worse!"
Fate decided to spite him then because at that moment Leia rushed in with curlers flying off her hair in all directions.
Sitting on the Dark Lord's lap, dripping wet and completely naked, Luke could only think of one thing to say:
"It's not what you think…"
AN: Well, considering Vader never got to hold a scream, squirming, naked baby Luke, I say it was high time he got the chance to experience all aspects of fatherhood.
Please review! It really keeps me going!
