Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight (the characters), Hana Yori Dango or Boys Over Flowers (their awesome storylines!).
Boys Over Flowers, Part II
Chapter Four ll Unravelling
There's nothing like sleeping in your own bed after a long and exhausting trip someplace else. The perfect dent in your pillow, the right weight of your own blanket, the feel of your bedspread underneath you... it's wonderfully comforting.
"Bella, Bella, Bella!"
I opened my eyes groggily, making out the outline of my younger sister as she stood above me. She was already in her school uniform and started tugging on my blankets. "Wake up, Bella, it's time for breakfast," Nessie proclaimed, "Mummy made pancakes and you promised to tell us all about Japan! Daddy said you were too tired to do it last night."
Shielding my eyes against the light, I pried her little hands off my blanket before scooping her in a blind hug. She giggled and tried to wriggle free.
"Come on, Bella!"
"Alright, alright, Ness, I'm getting up," I mumbled, but gave her ruddy head a rub for good measure.
Just as Nessie had said, Mum had made pancakes and was just finishing setting up the table when I emerged from the bathroom. I was surprised to see the rest of my family already assembled as I shrugged on my blazer, juggling my school bag in one hand and my bag of souvenirs in the other.
Breakfast was a happy affair with my family eager to hear about everything that had gone down in Japan. I mentioned Edward very little, making it sound like he was too busy to spend much time with me (which was true, I suppose) but that everything was alright. It looked like Mum wanted to question me further, but then I pulled out all their souvenirs which promptly distracted all of them. I wasn't ready to tell my parents about what had really happened.
After tucking Mum's packed lunch into my bag, I headed out of the house and was greeted by a loud honk.
"BELLABEE!" Alice waved gleefully at me and a grin broke across my face. It felt like ages since I'd seen her. We had a happy few minutes in the car while I recounted the beginning of my journey in Japan to her, but all too soon we had reached the school and it was time for class. She made me promise to tell her the rest at lunch, which I agreed to half-heartily. It seemed like I either had to do some major skirting-around-the-subject or tell her the truth, which seemed too enormous of a task at the present moment. The uncomfortable weight in my chest was still there.
In a twisted sort of way, I was thankful for the major distraction that awaited me at school. At first, I was surprised and confused at the graffiti scrawled over my locker. But then I remembered: my red card was still in action.
Concentrating my efforts into ignoring the hard looks, dodging random objects and trying to remain as elusive as possible made me forget about the weight inside me, although at times my thoughts did teeter into wondering if this was going to stop. Was this red card ever going to be revoked? Or would I have to graduate like this, acting and living as a phantom within the walls of my own school? Had a red card ever lasted for so long?
"Didn't... you ask him about it?"
Riley looked wary and cautious as he waited for my answer. We were sitting at my favourite past time haunt, at the empty and deserted stadium. The day I saw it crowded when a game was on would probably scar me for life.
I sighed, wiping egg shells from the ends of my hair. "I did," I said bluntly, then paused and revised, "Well, not really. There were... other things to talk about. I definitely mentioned it. Perhaps there's a time delay occurring across the two countries so the kid hasn't received the order to take away the card yet. Either way, it should be disappearing soon." Hopefully.
A small smile lit Riley's face as he watched me pick up my bag and violin case.
"How do you do it, Bella?" he asked.
"Do what?"
"Crack your little dry jokes when the entire school is against you. It's really brave." There it was again, that admiration in his hazel eyes that always made me feel a little nervous and uneasy. It made me feel like I had a lot to live up to.
I chortled, waving my hand, "Really, Riley, it's nothing. It's just my sarcasm and dry wit surfacing as a way to maintain my sanity. You need to tap into it constantly to survive in this temperamental school. You learn from your good old senior here, okay?"
"There you go again, Bella."
"Oh, whatever," I muttered as he laughed, "I need to go home early and get this egg out; I have work later in the afternoon."
"So you really like taking care of children, hey?" Riley asked in an offhand voice as we walked back out of the stadium. I wasn't too perturbed his tone; it was the usual reaction I got when people found out I worked at a day care. Most people my age found caring for children equivalent to swallowing a mouthful of mud.
"Yes."
"You're so weird."
"So I've been told."
"Why, though?"
"Why am I weird?"
"No, why do you like taking care of them?" Riley pressed on, "Don't they just run around, sneeze and drive you crazy? If it were up to me I'd just feed them all sleeping pills."
I spared him a Look before explaining, "They're just... so innocent. And they are a lot of fun, contrary to belief. I guess you just need to have the right kind of patience and personality to find them so. But being able to be a part of their life, even for a brief moment, and teaching them little things like tying their shoe laces... it's just cool."
Nothing was said for a few paces. It looked like something was on his mind and when he spoke, his tone was different. "Hey, Bella. Why don't you consider something in the field of children for your future?"
"What?" Everything was registering slower than usual.
"Your future, the thing you've been fretting about the last few weeks. How about becoming a teacher?"
"A teacher?" I repeated blankly, and paused as the idea settled in my mind. Now that I thought about it, Mum was a teacher. The idea didn't seem too impossible or ridiculous to me. In fact, it was something I could see myself doing... and enjoying. I didn't know why it had taken me this long to consider this.
Feeling a smidge happier and more purposeful, I picked up my pace. "Thanks, Riley," I breathed out, "I'll keep that in mind. Although first I must find a way to graduate here without losing my head..."
It may have seemed like I was coping well with my second red card at St. Meyer, but that was only because I was clinging onto it so fiercely to distract me. The red card filled me with several emotions and purposes that deterred my thoughts from other things that were so much more unsettling. I may have consciously wanted the bullying to go away, but subconsciously I was using it to focus my energy on something else. That, combined with all the other things in my life, was enough to maintain my numb front.
And yet the weight and lump remained. It was about the only thing I could still feel.
By Friday the pranks seemed to be dying down a bit. A sense of relief mingled with dismay as I registered this. At the same time, I was a bit disgusted with myself for feeling the dismay. What was I becoming, some sort of junkie?
At lunch time I walked into the cafeteria, averting my eyes to the floor. On the one hand, this meant I avoided the malicious stares of the other students, which was certainly preferable. On the other hand, it meant that it took me much longer to notice my surroundings and hence made me a vulnerable target.
I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary until I reached the centre of the cafeteria and suddenly realised that I should have ran into a few tables and chairs by now. Where had all the furniture gone? Looking up, my heart shot into my throat at the sight that greeted me.
All the tables had been pushed against the walls, clearing a large space within which I was trapped. Because surrounding me were dozens of students, surveying me with the same look of smug excitement.
My brain jammed. Yet another legend was being resurrected again. The Ring of Judgment.
"So are you going to get down on your knees and beg, Swan? That might make this more bearable."
There was a strange ringing in my ears as I stared at the boy who had spoken. I couldn't move a single muscle, and yet I couldn't tell if I was afraid. Was there even anything to be scared of? The old feeling of indignation, of outrage that these students could be so cruel... I could no longer muster it up anymore. It was blank. I felt blank.
Their jeers rose to a fever pitch as a bucket of water was emptied over my head from behind me, drenching me through.
After that, I had a confused impression of sand and hands and yelling. My body met the ground a lot as I stumbled and tripped, being pulled and pushed around the circle. Someone handed me a broom, tauntingly telling me to defend myself and fight back, but I could barely stand upright anymore. I was sure I was aching, but my mind felt disconnected from the rest of my body.
My eyes were streaming with tears that made no sense. I wasn't thinking straight. Somewhere, dimly, I knew this had happened before. How had it ended, that time? I swayed on the spot, clutching onto the broom for support before falling down onto my knees. They laughed.
Please... stop... I had prayed this once before as well.
Please make it go away.
And something of that memory made me choke up, something tied with that faraway moment brought real tears into my eyes as the uncomfortable lodging in my chest throbbed. For a heartbeat, I could hear or see nothing.
"What the hell is happening here?"
Had someone really said that, or was I only imaging it? Had... someone come?
It wasn't just my imagination. It had gone quiet in the cafeteria, the last few taunts and laughter dying away. I registered the sound of footsteps approaching and tremulously raised my head, unable to stop my heart from rising although I knew it was foolish.
There was a student standing in front of all the others, wearing a livid expression. He was tall and blonde, his hair falling untidily over his thick glasses. It was Riley.
And although I knew it was impossible, my heart sank like a stone anyway and disappointment crushed me.
"Who the hell d'you think you are?" sneered one of the boys, reaching out to shove Riley away.
But Riley's hand shot out powerfully, grabbing onto the boy's outstretched one and throwing it away. "And who do you think you all are?" Riley growled, and his carefully controlled voice rang in the silence.
"Ganging up against a single person, hiding and watching from the sidelines - it's beyond pathetic."
"Oi, what did you say, you little - ?"
There was a gasp as there was a scuffle between the two boys, resulting in Riley punching the other boy to free himself. Now it seemed like everyone was too tense and afraid to say anything else. Moreover, Riley's glasses had fallen off during the struggle and he was pushing his hair out of his face -
"Wait - isn't he the mystery model?" a girl suddenly whispered.
"No... way..."
"It's him..."
"He goes to our school?"
Ignoring the outbreak of hissing and whispering, Riley strode over towards me. I gazed up at him, still too weak to stand up. My heart had sunk somewhere to my feet. "No... don't worry about me," I mumbled stupidly, "You don't have to do this, Riley... just go."
His expression hardened. "Come on, Bella," he said shortly, and bent down to wrap his arm around my frame. I allowed myself to be pulled up and walked out of the cafeteria by him. Everyone's eyes followed us in complete silence.
We walked through the courtyard, past the fountain and the music room. I looked up at him feebly, "Where are we going?"
"I'm taking you back to my house," Riley replied; his tone was still curt and he wasn't looking at me. "I'm not leaving you at the school and you can't go home like this. Don't worry, I don't live too far away."
I wanted to protest, but I had no energy left. Glancing down at myself, I realised I was covered in sand and that my knee was bleeding. I looked away quickly before a prolonged look made me faint.
In ten minutes, Riley was pulling into the driveway of a modern-looking house. He supported me inside before gently depositing me on a sofa. I winced, finally feeling the aches and bruises.
A redhead walked in at that moment, stopping short when she saw me. "Oh! What happened?" she gasped, her eyes travelling wildly to Riley, "Hey - "
"Never mind that, she's my friend," Riley explained flatly, "Her name is Bella. Bella, this is my sister Victoria. Can you get the first aid kit and fix her knee?"
"Oh - yes - of course," Victoria said hastily, and with no further questions she left the room.
Silence reigned for a few moments and as my senses caught up with my surroundings, I began to feel rather abashed and awkward. I was covered from head to toe with sand and was getting more of it all over their spotless furniture. I glanced at Riley, an apology on my lips, but he beat me to it.
"Are you alright, Bella?" he asked fervently. "What they did to you... it was sick."
I bit my lip and gave a half-shrug.
"It's not the first time."
"Why do you put up with it?" he demanded, looking more annoyed than I'd ever seen him. "You used to fight back with everything you had. These days you just seem to take it as though you deserve it."
For some reason, despite how faraway and distant and shaken I felt, his words struck a nerve and I looked at him sharply. I knew that my gaze was full of ire by the way he flinched just a bit.
"Sometimes it's too hard." I was surprised by how quiet my voice was. "Sometimes, it's just easier to bear it silently. I don't care if it's cowardly or whatever. I... don't want to fight anymore."
Riley gazed at me wordlessly, still frowning. Victoria returned with a first-aid basket and began cleaning my wound before patching it up with a bandaid. She was a warm, amicable person. Her smile and appearance was less dazzling than it was in photographs and on magazine covers, but she seemed all the more attractive in real life because of it.
When she left the room again, I cast my eyes around to say something about a different subject. I looked at the large family portrait hanging over the fireplace. I knew it was an old picture because Riley and Victoria both looked a few years younger. They were standing on either side of a taller, blonde boy who looked like their older brother. Their parents sat in front of them. They were all smiling. A happy family.
Riley saw me looking. I pointed at the picture, starting to say, "Is that - "
"Yeah, that's our Mum and Dad," he said, a touch of affection in his voice. He hesitated and his tone became abrupt. "They died in a car accident a few years ago. Shortly after that photo was taken, actually."
I looked at him, sympathy stirring in my heart, but he simply shrugged to let me know it was okay. "And that's our big brother, James. I've never told you about him, have I?" I shook my head and a small smile lit his face. I could tell that he really looked up to his brother.
"He was always the head of our family, second-in-charge when Dad was still alive. Our parents' death really shook him up, though, and the responsibility of having to care for me and my sister was... a little too much for him," Riley sighed, tearing his eyes away from the portrait. "I think he always felt somewhat responsible for their death. And then something happened at his school which pushed him over the edge. He tried to take his own life after that."
A horrific sort of shock filled me then. Hesitatingly, I asked, "Where... is he now?"
"He lives at the hospital. Doctors say he's a threat to himself and perhaps to others." Riley stopped; when he spoke again, his voice was a little unsteady, "He's... not the same big brother Vic and I used to always follow around. But he's still our brother. That's why we started this whole modelling thing. Our parents left us money, but we still wanted to be able to support him... if anything happens."
I looked at him fervently, feeling ten times older as I listened to his story.
"I'm... really sorry, Riley," I murmured. Then I realised something and I scrunched my face in dismay, "Oh, no... and now everyone knows who you really are! Your mystery model image is completely ruined. This is all my fault."
He was looking at me funnily, a certain softness in his eyes that I'd caught glimpses of before. But now it was very distinct and clear. Unnerved, I tried to find something else to say, but before I could he was talking again.
"No, Bella, it doesn't matter. I don't care about that."
"About what?" It slipped out, in a desperate bid to stop him from saying what I was terrified he was going to say.
"I don't care about being found out," he said seriously, his eyes never leaving mine. I swallowed nervously. "It doesn't matter... as long as you're with me." I looked down as he took my hand gently. Normally, those words would have been extremely corny and laughable. But the deep note of sincerity in his tone had my insides squirming in discomfort instead.
"Bella, why don't you just come away with me? Get away from St. Meyer, from the lowlifes at that school. We have good times together, don't we?" His hand was tightening around mine. I didn't have the heart to pull away yet.
"Yes, we do, Riley, but you know I don't - I don't see you like that," I implored helplessly. Why was everything becoming such a mess? "You're a really good friend, and I've been so grateful for your company, but - "
"But what?" There was a spark of anger in his eyes now, and something about his grip on my hand became rougher. "Is it still because you love Edward Cullen?" he demanded.
I wrenched my hand away, trying to control my shallow breathing and the way the ache was throbbing frantically in my chest. "That's none of your business," I said acidly.
A humourless smirk cross Riley's face. "Don't try to avoid it, Bella. What do you see in that guy, anyway? He's someone who'd destroy you if he couldn't have you. He doesn't see anyone besides his little F4 friends as people, he's someone who doesn't give a damn about other people's happiness or lives!"
Stunned, I beheld the vicious glint in his eyes, the anger and loathing in his voice, and felt like I was seeing Riley properly for the first time. I knew he had never thought very highly of F4, but this was different.
"Don't talk about him like that," I said in a voice of controlled calm, glowering at him, "There are things about Edward Cullen that you wouldn't know."
Riley sneered, "Oh really? I beg to differ. I think I know him a lot better than you do, Bella."
For a full minute we glared at each other, I could feel the blood pounding underneath my skin as indignation like I hadn't felt in a long time flooded me. Yet beneath that, I knew I still doubted. Why was I still defending him? "He doesn't see anyone besides his little F4 friends as people, he's someone who doesn't give a damn about other people's happiness or lives!" Hadn't I witnessed that in Japan?
Don't think about it, I told myself firmly.
The look on Riley's face softened and he took a step towards me. "Face it, Bella," he said quietly, "You two were never right for each other. You're from completely different worlds. You and I, however... we're like-minded."
For several long seconds, I said nothing. I was confused, my head hurt, and I just wanted to leave. Victoria clattered in again, dishevelled and worried as she clutched onto the phone. Riley looked over at her and the two siblings locked eyes.
"What's wrong?" he asked with a frown.
"The hospital called," she murmured, "its James... I think he's fine, they just wanted to check up on something. Still I'm going to go and see him." She turned around and walked out, leaving a horrible, new silence in her wake.
My indignation at Riley faded somewhat as I looked at him. He was just like a helpless little boy now as worry, anger and hurt fought across his face. I took a step forward and said in a would-be consoling voice, "Riley - "
He moved suddenly so that it startled me; whipping back around, he held out his mobile and thrust into my hand. I gasped as his hand clenched around mine painfully, an almost mad expression on his features.
"Call him back," he snarled, "Call him back now!"
"Call who?" I cried, bewildered.
"Edward Cullen, who else?" There was no reason in his tone or his expression; I was starting to feel scared although I instinctively tried my best to hide it.
"What?" I breathed out, mind boggling. I was still struggling to free my hand; Riley wouldn't unclench it.
"Tell that loser to jump on his private jet and get his pathetic self back to America now."
"What has Edward Cullen got to do with anything?" I yelled in desperation.
"Everything! This - you - the red card - our brother!"
A second's silence followed the end of his words. We were both breathing heavily; him out of anger, mine was out of fear. Something, like a revelation about to be uncovered, struck me. I looked at him with a frown.
"What?"
"I told you earlier that something happened at his school, didn't I?" Riley spoke in an undertone. Somehow, his calm demeanour now scared me even more. "Something that was the final straw to his delicate mental state, something that pushed him into the condition that he is in now."
A sneer spread across his face as I comprehended what he was saying.
"The red card..." I murmured, and the pit of my stomach felt sick.
"Yes, that's right, Bella," Riley said pitilessly, "James was at St. Meyer years ago, he was older than the F4 guys but in that corrupt school, age doesn't mean a thing. He did something tiny, trivial, insignificant, but it brought Cullen's attention on him. It happened mere months after our parents' death. What the school did to him then broke him."
I gazed unseeingly at the floor, my mind icy blank. Riley continued to speak in a faraway voice, almost as if to himself.
"Since then, I've sworn revenge on Edward Cullen for my brother. And what better way to get him back from Japan than by manipulating his weakness?"
I didn't think I could feel any worse, but I was wrong. Something very cold and poisonous swept through me and I shivered, finally understanding what it had all been about, what our supposed friendship had always been based on. Other things began to make sense. The magazine cover... his reluctance to talk to Alice...
Something shifted inside me. I didn't know the boy standing before me at all. He was a complete stranger.
"Were you behind the red card as well?" I asked in a strangely clear voice.
Another smirk twisted Riley's face.
"I had to gain your trust somehow, didn't I? I had to do something which would catch his attention, have him believe you were in danger and make him come back to save you. I thought it was all over when you unexpectedly jumped on a plane to go to him and then came back alone. But that doesn't matter. Edward Cullen won't be able to resist himself when he thinks you've been kidnapped, even if he doesn't care about you anymore. I know that punk much better than you do, Bella. You're his possession, property, and he'll be furious when he finds out I've got you."
I shook as he spoke, a mixture of panic and anger bubbling inside me. I could barely believe what I was hearing. Did this sort of thing happen in everyday life?
"It's not about you, Bella," Riley continued apathetically, "I'm sorry you had to be dragged into this. I don't think there's enough heart in that guy for him to care about anyone else besides himself. No, it's Cullen's pride that will be the end of him."
My voice was barely a whisper when I spoke.
"He's changed."
His eyes were as hard as stones. "That doesn't erase what he's done."
"Nor does that give you the right to do anything you like!" I burst out angrily, "Do you think doing this makes you a better person? Do you think doing this will bring back your brother?" I had touched a nerve, I knew, when Riley blinked and his grip on me tightened convulsively.
I took a deep breath and asserted, "I'm leaving now. Please let go of me."
There was a sad desperation Riley's eyes.
"I need you to make him come back."
My lower lip trembled, because it cost to speak the truth this time. "He won't come back even if you have me," I whispered "Riley, please... just let it go."
For awhile it seemed like he would never release my wrist. I began to feel it ache underneath his painfully tight grip. But then, gradually, very slowly, his own hand trembling, he relinquished his hold on me. A dull, lost look was on his face. I left at once without looking back, knowing that I was very close to falling apart altogether.
The streets seemed unreal when I staggered outside, trying to move fast but unable to think of which direction to walk in. I didn't care that I was still covered in sand and was attracting strange looks. I barely noticed anything around me. All I could concentrate on was finding my way home, because only then could I allow my mind to dwell on the horrible truth that had just been revealed.
"Bella!"
I spun around clumsily, my vision blurring at the edges so that for a moment I couldn't recognise who was there. Then she hurried closer, holding me by the shoulders as I gasped gratefully, "Esme." I was so glad to see her, I didn't bother questioning what she was doing here. She was a friendly face, someone I could trust, someone who had always supported me, someone who always had a warm smile for me.
"Oh, Bella," Esme Cullen said worriedly, brushing sand off my face, "What's going on with you? Come on, sweetheart."
Losing what little energy I had preserved, I allowed myself to be half-carried to her car.
It had been a very long time since I'd visited the Cullen mansion. Little had changed about the grand and beautiful house, even though none of the family lived there any longer. Too dazed and weak to protest, I bathed in one of the luxurious bathrooms and emerged to find my uniform already clean and dry. Esme then ushered me into the dining room, where the table was laden with afternoon tea, and I knew there was no way of escaping.
So I told her about everything that had happened with Riley. I didn't think I would be able to go through with it, but to my surprise it made me feel better. My tongue loosened until I had finished explaining everything, and she simply listened without interrupting.
"Poor thing," Esme murmured, tapping me on the head, "Sounds like you went through a stressful ordeal. Well, don't worry about it anymore, Bella. I'll make sure he won't bother you again."
I just nodded, taking a sip of my tea.
"I heard you went to visit my brother in Tokyo." I stiffened up at this mention. Her voice was careful, but kind, "Are you okay?"
Looking up, I made sure to put on a smile, "Yeah."
Esme was regarding me shrewdly. Clasping her elegant hands together, she sighed and said, "Look, I don't know what Edward said to you, but he's feeling pretty confused and muddled at the moment, so try not to take notice of him. I'm sure things will work out."
I remained silent during this dialogue. Staring at a spot on the table, I steeled myself to say something.
"Esme..."
"Hmm?"
"I've... decided to forget about him." My voice sounded as determined as I felt. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Esme stop in the middle of eating a slice and gaze at me in surprise.
"What?" she said.
I smiled meditatively "Actually, it was good to go and clear things up with him. We hadn't spoken for so long that it felt like I was constantly going around in circles, wondering why he wasn't talking to me anymore. Thinking about it all the time was giving me a headache."
I took a deep breath and gave a little nod of affirmation, as if to convince myself.
"So I feel relieved that I went. One of us had to put some closure on it, right? Edward has his own life to live... and so do I. I guess the worlds we live in are just too different." I glanced up at Esme, who had been listening quietly, and felt a pang of remorse.
"I'm... really sorry, Esme," I murmured, biting my lip.
She shook herself out of her reverie, "There's no need to apologise, Bella. So long as you're happy." She smiled sadly, "Oh, that's too bad, I really hoped you could stay with Edward. But you can still see me like an older sister, can't you?" Her eyes flashed warmly at me.
Feeling utterly unworthy of her care, I nodded. I was blessed by extraordinarily kind people.
Esme smiled before setting a huge plate of cakes before me. "Have some more, Bella! You seem thin these days. I'm just going to make call - feel free to get up and explore the house if you feel bored."
I nodded again as Esme stood up and left the room with her phone. Far from feeling accomplished about my little speech, I was left feeling hollow and empty. Yet the wedge was still there, residing in my chest. Swallowing heavily in hopes to dispel it, I stood up as well and began wandering around.
It's true, I kept telling myself, What I told Esme is true. It's true. It's true.
And then I paused in my aimless wandering outside a particular room in the house. It was the room that I'd been taken to after my first Ring of Judgment. In my mind's eye, I could see him bandaging my wounds as I squirmed underneath his touch.
"One hundred per cent repaid, don't you think? It was nice doing business with you, Fender-Bella."
The memory made my hands tremble. The lodging in my chest was getting harder to ignore.
"This is so I can keep in contact with you and check up on you. In case you end up in another crisis... which, with your clumsiness and pride, you probably will."
I blinked as my eyes pricked, and in that moment I knew I wasn't going to be able to pretend any longer. It was all a facade, something that I'd been trying to fool even myself with. Lying to my parents, to the boys, to Alice, to Esme... to myself.
"That's what I'm here for, Bella. To pick up the broken pieces of my little fender-bender when she feels like giving up, right?"
So I guess I'm only kidding myself when I insist I'm the lion; you truly are the lion.
Take care, Fender-Bella. I'll take care too.
I'll miss you.
Edward Cullen.
I gasped as I finally gave way to the wedge in my chest, as I finally allowed the hurt and anguish that I'd contained in that lump since that terrible talk with Edward have its escape in the rest of my body. The tears came then, heavy and unrelenting. The sobs wracked my body.
And so... the lion... fell in love with the lamb.
"Bella?"
I felt rather than heard Esme's presence. I didn't realised I had crumpled on the ground until I lifted my head to see her bending down before me. Through my streaming eyes I saw the dire concern in her eyes, taking in my appearance.
And before I knew it, I was telling her what was upon my heart.
"I'm - I'm not okay," I said brokenly, "Esme, I want to at least tell you the truth. I... I... I still love Edward." A lump rose to my throat but I swallowed it, determined to keep going. "I was so happy when I saw him again, but he was - he was so cold. And I don't know why he was like that, but I can't get over it, no matter how hard I try. Everything... everything reminds me of him."
There were tears in Esme's eyes as well before she pulled me into a close hug, her hand smoothing my hair.
"I'm really glad you told me that, Bella," she murmured soothingly, "Now please listen to me, sweetheart. Just wait for him. He'll come around eventually. Believe in Edward Cullen, my daft little brother.
My heart quivered.
"Just be yourself, okay?" he had murmured once, "I believe in you. I always will."
I closed my eyes, feeling the tears roll down my cheeks.
"I miss him," I whispered against her shoulder.
Esme said nothing else as she wrapped her hand around my head, holding me close. That afternoon, I cried out everything that I'd held back since Edward Cullen left for Japan. I learnt to let go, to let the emotions overwhelm me and take control of my sense of rationality and dignity. For so many months I'd been burying them deep inside me, trying to spare myself the pain and hurt.
In the moment, it hurt terribly. But perhaps after this I would be on the road to recovery.
Over the next week, things died down and it seemed like my life could go back to its unique standard of normality. Esme had called the F3 boys and sorted out my red card business along with Riley, so that on Monday morning there was quiet again. I was free to go to class in peace, free to walk the corridors without fear of being bombed by eggs, but as ever the stares were prevalent. Perhaps I had become a walking legend in St. Meyer.
When the bell rang to signify the end of the day, I was walking down an empty corridor when someone else appeared at the other end, walking towards me. It was Riley, but he wasn't wearing his uniform or his glasses. He was instantly recognisable as the mystery model plastered over so many posters in the department stores. I stopped in my tracks and looked at him testily, but he seemed unconcerned by my presence.
"I just submitted my resignation to the principal," Riley said by way of explanation. Gone was the sad desperation in his eyes. He was speaking haughtily.
I just nodded, "Oh."
He looked at me and seemed resigned. "There's no need to look like that, Bella," he sighed, "You know, I really did like you. If you'd agreed to come away with me, then I would have forgotten about getting revenge on Cullen." When I continued to stare hard at him, Riley shrugged his shoulders and said, "I guess you don't believe me. Well, I can't blame you. Have a nice life, Isabella Swan."
I watched as he swept past me, hands in his pockets. I wasn't quite sure how I felt, but before I could pinpoint it Riley stopped again and looked back at me.
"Since it didn't work out between you and I, and it doesn't seem like you and Cullen are going to get back together, then why don't you try and work things out with Jacob Black?" he asked nonchalantly.
I felt like I had received a severe, mental jolt, pulling me out of my stiff silence. "What?" I spluttered.
Assessing my expression, Riley just shrugged, "You know, the other guy in F4. He seemed pretty pissed off when he warned me not to mess with you again. Don't you reckon he likes you?"
I was speechless and perplexed, and after several seconds of silence Riley continued on his way. I shook my head in bemusement. That guy... has no idea what he's talking about.
I walked home by myself, glad that I was free to do so without the uncomfortable niggling in my chest. It was gone at last. Rounding into my driveway, I paused at the letter box and pulled out the mail. There was a fancy envelope in the wad and I stared when I saw that it was addressed to me.
Pulling out the intricate cardboard, I read it.
Isabella Swan,
Your presence is requested at Edward Cullen's birthday celebration.
Underneath was the time, date and venue. I read it through several times with an increasing sense of trepidation, wondering what on earth was going on. Was this some sort of joke?
The sound of approaching tyres made me look up and I saw Jacob's Volkswagen pull up in front of my house. He was about to greet me as he normally did when he saw what I was holding and the expression on my face.
"Oh," he said demurely, "You've already seen it."
My heart skipped a beat, sure that this statement did not bode well. I held up the invitation weakly.
"Is this... for real?" I asked.
Jacob looked straight at me, his dark eyes boring into mine. "That's what I came here to tell you," he said, a mild trace of regret in his voice, "He's coming back, Bella. Edward's coming back to America."
A/N: Hello dearest friends! I'm sorry I haven't been replying to your reviews, but I have been reading them with a huge smile on my face. Ch'yeah. :) Now to answer some questions - what's up with Edward? You'll find out, but yep most of you have cottoned on. :) The red card got explained here. Will there be lip locking? LOL! I don't really write that much, I prefer the less physical intimacy, so I know a few of you got frustrated that Edward only kissed her once in the last story. And since it's based on Asian dramas, the focus is more on their struggle and relationship than their kisses and hugs.
Why isn't Esme the heir? Good question - probably because she's a girl. The dramas never really expand on that.
I think that's it. As a matter of interest, I am actually studying to become a teacher. :) It's the most awesomely fun university course known to man (in my humble opinion.) And HAHA, my friend always says this when we talk about my future career prospect:
"Don't they just run around, sneeze and drive you crazy? If it were up to me I'd just feed them all sleeping pills."
Anywho, here ends my rambling. I'm off on another camp in a few days' time, but hopefully this one will involve less browning under the very powerful sun. - msq.
