0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
DISCLAIMER!!!
DISCLAIM DISCLAIM DISCLAIM! You get the idea…
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
(WARNING! Rated for Reno's potty mouth.)
4; Creepy Crawlies
(Prompt submitted by Telly. On the condition that it had to be about Reno and Rude and involve some non-yaoi cuddling.)
Reno's childish fears had always amused Rude… The man could take on monsters ten times his size and yet spiders, worms and bugs freaked him out.
The first time he'd become aware of this was during a mission some three years before. They'd been walking through a forest skirting disgusting bogs and swamps and a leech had attached itself to an unknowing Reno's left calf. He hadn't noticed the thing until it was already bulbous and gorged on his blood.
They'd stopped to make camp on a dryer portion of ground, elevated their tent platform a good two feet above the soggy earth and were cleaning up after a small meal when Reno had plopped down on a tree stump to remove his wet socks and boots. Grumbling that he was going to get 'crazy swampy foot rot' from traipsing around in the bog all day…
He'd rolled up his pants leg to untie his boots and Rude vividly remembered the strained shriek that had reached his ears across the separating distance.
"Oh, fuck… What the fuckin' fuck is it!"
He'd turned, expecting to see some monster rising from the bog… But instead he'd seen Reno's suddenly colorless face and his too wide eyes.
His own eyes had traveled down his partner's form and honed in on the leech… It seemed to ripple as it gorged itself, looking almost as if the slimy invertebrate were humping the redhead's gangly shin.
Reno had started shaking then, his breath coming in high whimpers, fingers tightening in the fabric of his pants. "Shiva-Oh SHIVA! Rude get it OFF OF ME!" Sweat poured down his ashen face and his emerald eyes stared unblinking at the horror that was literally eating him alive.
Rude had seen the panic and been level headed enough to stay silent as he approached, dropping into a crouch and circling Reno's thin ankle with his hand, "It's just a leech."
"Leech! A LEECH!" He'd gone into a kind of spasm then, jerking out of Rude's grasp and tearing his jacket off, along with his shirt. A shrill litany of curses and half screams escaping him as he'd stripped his clothes from his thin body, flinging them in every direction as if they were covered in the creatures.
He'd thrust his hips forward as he'd yanked off his belt and shoved the zipper down, pushing his pants to his ankles and kicking them off. Stomping them repeatedly to smash any that might be lurking in the fabric.
"FUCK! Are there more? ARE THERE MORE!" He'd spun around slapping himself, shoving his hands through his hair to make sure there weren't any on his scalp, red welts shaped like his hands appeared on his chest, shoulders, back, stomach cheeks and legs.
Rude had watched him, eyebrows raised, too shocked to really try and stop him. Reno, one of the most feared Turks still living, was freaking out over a stupid little leech.
With a smothered laugh, he swore never to let the redhead live it down.
Then Reno had stopped, chest heaving for breath, and pulled his boxers away from his body to make sure no leeches had attached themselves to his genitals. He'd stumbled almost as if he were going to faint and collapsed back onto the stump staring with a nauseated expression at the swelling leech still clinging to his leg.
Then, he'd raised teary eyes to his partner's and his lower lip had trembled; "Get it offa me! I-I ca-can't touch it… I'll puke," He'd closed his eyes tightly and leaned to the side his face turning slightly green…
Rude had let out a sigh and turned his back to his partner, capturing the thin pale appendage under his arm so should Reno jerk he wouldn't loose his hold.
"Rude… Shiva, Rude get it offame, PLEASE!" His hands had tightened into fists on the collar of the bald man's jacket and he'd pressed his brow against the back of the hairless pate. Feeling as if he'd faint at any moment… He was being eaten alive and Rude was just sitting there staring at the monstrosity.
"It'll come off on its own in a few minutes… See how fat it is? It'll fall off in a minute, I promise."
Reno hadn't liked that one bit, but he'd remained silent, his practically naked body shivering, ears ringing from shock. "I don't wanna see it… I wanna smash the fucker… Just promise me, w-when it comes off… Promise me you'll smash it. Sm-mash it dead."
Rude had grunted, a sound that was neither an affirmative nor a negative.
He'd felt Reno's arms come around his neck, almost choking him as he'd shivered, and everything that had seemed so amusing a few moments before had melted away.
It wasn't one of those fears you could make fun of someone over either… Rude had a sneaking suspicion that had he tried to make fun of him, he would have ended up with the contents of the redhead's stomach splattered all over his bald head…
Eventually the leech had fallen off. Rude had flipped the thing into the weeds so Reno wouldn't have to see it and inspected the 'Y' shaped wound washing it with disinfectant and padding it with a rather thick piece of gauze before binding it with a sports bandage.
"Put on a shirt and get some sleep…" He'd unwound Reno's arms from his neck and stood, brushing dirt from his now wet pants and glancing to his right to watch the redhead move on unsteady legs to the tent and crawl inside.
Rude finished securing the area, set up perimeter alarms and watched the sunlight shrink off into utter blackness before he climbed into the tent and flopped over his own sleeping bag.
Barely three hours later Reno had started shaking him awake.
"Rude… RUDE!"
"Huh?"
"The tent's leaking, my fucking leg is soaked…"
His stomach had tightened and he'd started fighting with his sleeping bag, knowing exactly what was wrong before Reno even clicked on his flashlight.
But, Reno had the flashlight on and trained on his leg before the bigger man had been able to do more than raise his head and swipe a paw like hand in his direction…
Some three miles away on the edge of the swamp an old hermit who lived alone heard the most hideous shrieking noise and ran all the way into town proclaiming that hideous woman-monster was after him…
In all actuality, it had been a red haired Turk screaming like he was dying when he clicked on the light and noticed his leg, his sleeping bag and even the mat below him, were utterly and completely drenched in blood.
He'd been hurt before, yes… But he'd never bled that much, EVER. And all of it because of a little leech!
Rude clapped a hand over his mouth and hissed in his ear, "Its OK! Leeches have an anticoagulant in their saliva, you'll be fine!" He'd then released his partner, since he'd gone limp in his arms, and leaned him back against his pillow while he'd changed the bandage. Reassuring the younger man, even though those green eyes were rolled up to the whites and his mouth was hanging open, that it had mostly stopped bleeding, thanks to the enhancements in his blood. And he'd then had to cast Barrier around their tent incase some swamp dwelling monster caught a whiff of the blood and came looking for an easy meal.
After that Reno had attached himself to Rude's side, cursing under his breath about how vehemently he hated leeches, spiders, centipedes, worms, beetles, cockroaches, fleas, lice… He'd gone on to list just about every single bug or creepy crawly on the planet, and a few he'd made up himself… Including something called a 'twitsnatcher' that he swore was real because he'd been bitten by one as a child living in the slums and almost died. And he'd fallen asleep clinging to his partner's arm, 'injured' leg thrown over Rude's. It was a horribly uncomfortable position, but somehow, the bald Turk managed to drift off and neither had woken until the next morning.
And then Reno was uncharacteristically quiet. Not until they'd made it out of the swamp and back to the helicopter had he said a single thing. Then he'd stopped Rude with a firm hand on his shoulder and leveled a long thin finger in the taller man's face, saying…
"Don't tell anyone about that fucking leech, understand?" Then he'd shivered as if the mere memory of it made him ill and settled himself into his seat.
And despite his best efforts, a crooked grin caught the corner of Rude's lips; "Wouldn't dream of it…"
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
(I can't help it people, I really liked writing that… Freaked out Reno amuses me. And I allude to this oneshot in a fic I'm writing as 'The Leech Incident'… When I post it I'll let you know in the summary. THANKS TELLY!)
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
