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SET AFTER "Luthors"
Lena was clueless. Completely and utterly clueless.
Lena didn't know how she got here, sitting cross-legged in her ratty old pajamas from when she was a teenager, crying over a girl. Some stupid little crush that entered her mind and didn't let go. Even now, when she was busy with her life, running a business, and trying to keep her mother away, she still had an unconscious emptiness that she couldn't fill with biomedical engineering.
Lena didn't know why she was letting this happen. She didn't know why all of a sudden, someone would suddenly take interest in her. She didn't know what about her personality screamed "friend." It certainly wasn't her past. Lena thought it was her money, but it wasn't. She knew better than that. She knew that this "little crush" was far better than that.
Lena didn't know why she let her emotions get the better of her. She didn't know why she listened to them.
Lena didn't know why she kissed her.
The scene was playing over and over in her head like a loop, like a broken record on a record player. She remembered it all so clearly it was difficult to get it out of her head. She tried everything, from throwing herself into her work to scream crying at home. But there it was, in stunning detail:
"Lena! I haven't seen you in so long!" Kara swept over from the door, where her assistant was patiently waiting. Once she entered, she closed the door after the two, leaving them alone.
"Kara, it's always nice to see you," Lena replied. It was difficult for her to keep her cool when near someone so beautiful.
"Well, I figured after everything, you might want some time to use that brain of yours to try and sort out your feelings," Kara pointed to her head and smiled at her own joke. Lena blushed a shade of pink just light enough to avoid detection.
"Yeah, well, it hasn't been going all that well. Quantum physics is easier than this," Lena felt her stomach do flips, and it wasn't from Kara. She swallowed down the overwhelming sadness she felt.
Kara was aware of the other girl's bizarre behavior, and acknowledged it with a grab of the hand and a hug. Kara knew that was what she needed herself when she was upset over something, and she was right in thinking Lena could use the same thing. Lena pretty much collapsed in her arms, which made Kara thankful for her super strength.
"Lena, Lena, are you alright?" Kara felt Lena respond with holding on even tighter. I'll take that as a no, Kara thought, and picked up Lena as gently as she could to sit her down on the couch opposite them.
When she reach the white leather seat, Lena was still squeezing as tightly as she could, so she had to maneuver both of them into a position where Lena could still hang on. Lena was now looped around her waist, and Kara had her arms around Lena's shoulders, her hand rubbing small circles on her arm. Lena was shaking with sobs, though most of them were stifled insufficiently due to the fact that she had always been one to hide her emotions behind a facade of genius. This whole "letting someone in" was still new to her. She had been used many times before, and she wasn't keen on letting that happen again.
Lena eventually did quiet down, although talking was still out of the question. Kara respected the fact that she needed time. After a while, though, Lena lifted her head up and wiped her tears on the sleeves of the sweater she decided to wear to work on a whim. It didn't help all that much. What it did help to hide was the fact that her eyes were puffy and her face red, although the majority of that was pulled off by her incredibly long, dark hair.
"Lena, are you alright?" Kara asked lightly. She didn't want to send Lena into another crying episode.
Lena shook her head in disbelief. "Why," she sniffed, "why did I ever decide to trust that woman?" Lena got all quiet and looked into her fingers, which were now tangled with each other. She shut her eyes, fully prepared to start crying. Her voice cracked when she asked, "Why didn't I listen to you?" She was still staring at the back of her eyelids when she felt something foreign, something warm and comforting slip into her hands and grab them as tightly as Kara could muster without hurting Lena.
"You didn't listen to me because you have to reason not to," Kara responded with wisdom only she could come up with. "You have no reason to trust me, what, with my cousin and everything." She paused to flicker her eyes from their hands to Lena's puffy, red face. "Know that, even though we should, theoretically, hate each other-"
"I don't hate you," Lena interrupted.
"I know, I know, but even though we have reasons to, we don't. Still not a reason to trust me, but a reason to think about letting me, or someone in."
Lena took a deep breath, and Kara waited patiently for her to begin. She knew that this was hard on her friend. "If there is anyone in the world that I would let in, it'd be you. Everyone currently hates me, or did. They wouldn't be much help would they?" Kara shook her head in response. "I don't really have anyone in this city, except for you."
"Well, I'm glad I could help. Now, we need to get you home safe," Kara started. "Wanna fly?"
Lena's eyes lit up at the idea. "OF COURSE I WANT TO FLY."
Kara got a mischievous look on her face. "You've got to kiss me first."
Lena took a deep breath, then said, "Really?"
Kara intended for it to be a joke. She thought responding with one more would be a good idea. "Yes. Now kiss me you fool."
Lena got all feeling-y again, then got closer and leant in in a split second. She got close- so close she could taste Kara's breathe on her lips, so close she could feel the warmth from her face on her nose-
but then Kara backed away.
Kara backed away and flew off into the distance.
Lena went running (well, walking briskly) to her car, started up the engine with fumbling fingers, and drove off to get home and scream her heart out.
It still hurt, even after a week and a half. It hurt more than it did when it first happened, only because Lena had time to overthink every last movement. She thought it was the hands holding that put her over the edge, or maybe the fact that Kara hadn't judged her like her family had done for showing emotions. "Emotion is weakness; love is weakness," they would all say, and for awhile, she believed them.
But then she met Kara.
Kara was the epitome of strength, not only because she was an alien with super strength, but because she was emotionally intelligent. She could think about others before herself, she could think about someone in particular. She could do anything.
She could do anything except for face her. And for that, she was more grateful that she had been in a very long time.
At the moment, she was shaking again, but this time was much more vocal about it. She was screaming into her pillow, the pillow she only took out of the closet when she was crying. It was stained from previous encounters with many different fluids, most of them tears and makeup. She didn't have any on right now. She hadn't gone into work for 10 days; why should she have to dress up if the company she had was No-one McLonelypants?
Right now it was currently soaked with tears and it smelled of salt. She didn't mind. She liked the ocean anyway.
She had just settled down when she received her nightly text from her mother. It wasn't the fact that she did it that made Lena upset, but what the messages contained.
New Text: 11:43:
Remember you will never amount to anything on your own. Let me help you.
That was all Lena needed to shove her back over the edge. The tears came hot and fast, and she had to swallow back some. Her plan to calm herself down backfired, and she ended up crying harder. With the tears came another liquid, a different liquid she actually wanted, craved: alcohol. She didn't have a problem with it, but she did save the stronger stuff for nights like this when she couldn't control herself. She limped weakly over to the freezer and pulled out a bottle of the strongest alcohol they sold on the market. She couldn't get ahold of this herself. She stole it from her mother. When she opened up the cap, the overly-satisfying pop of cork on glass washed over her, and the burn of alcohol filled her nose. Just the smell was enough to get a lightweight drunk. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough for her. She wasn't at all a lightweight; she could handle her alcohol. She could handle it better than anyone she knew. When she went to take a sip, she felt the all-too-familiar taste reach her mouth before the liquid did. She knew that it would feel like acid going down, and she knew that she shouldn't drink too much. That was before her first sip.
When she forced down the first gulp, she already felt drunk. She felt as though she had already had a couple of cups of whiskey. She felt as though she was flying. Just think about the word flying made her take another sip. She walked over to her couch with the opening of the bottle in her mouth. When she sat, she lifted the bottle back up and chugged. Even though it was a small bottle, not much bigger than a small plastic water bottle, she was still much more drunk than she had even been, and she knew why. It wasn't just the amount of alcohol. She had been drunk, really drunk, before, but she was able to stop then. This time, the only thing stopping her from drinking more was the fact there wasn't any left. She curled her legs up into her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. She knew that she had made a mistake, she knew that she had consumed too much; she wanted more. She wanted to drink so much she passed out; she wanted to drink so much she had to be rushed to the hospital by
Supergirl.
Thinking about the person she drank to forget about wasn't a good idea. She felt her head swim with dizziness, and her legs were weak as she stood up and headed for her bathroom. Before she could do that, though, she needed to navigate her apartment, which was easier said than done.
Lena preferred an edgier looking style, so much of the furniture was pointed. Every single time she bumped into a piece (Every. Single. Piece.), she got a new bruise. One to add to the collection. Eventually, with many bumps, she made it to her toilet, and just in time. About halfway on her massive journey, she tasted alcohol and stomach acid making it's way up her throat. She looked at the toilet and let herself go.
When she was done, she flushed the toilet and rolled on the floor, sitting with her legs out straight. She was out of breath from practically throwing up a lung, but she was able to gain it back. While sitting there, she checked the time.
1:19.
Right when she saw how late it was, she felt the essence of sleep take over her. The droopy eyes, the heavy willingness to dream. In a desperate attempt for help, she whispered to herself:
"Please," she said. "Please."
"Did you hear that?" Kara asked Alex. They were currently watching a movie because neither of them could sleep. It was terrible, but they loved it anyways. They were both on the couch, leaning up against each other, much like the position Kara was in with Lena.
"Hear what?" Alex asked. She knew her sister had super-hearing, but she didn't know that she was listening to something.
"Someone said 'Please, please' like they were going crazy," said Kara, "or have been going crazy for the past week." Recognition suddenly and unexpectedly arose on Kara's face, and she stood up so quickly Alex jumped. "Alex I promise I'll be back but Lena needs me so just leave if you want stay if you want but don't eat my sticky buns got it?"
Alex nodded quickly. She had faced the wrath of Kara before when she had eaten them. She didn't want to see that again.
"Alright, I'll be back," Kara said as she flew out the door. "...hopefully."
When Kara reached Lena's apartment, the first thing she saw was the mess of blankets all over the floor, then the pillow stained with something Kara couldn't comprehend, then the bottle. The empty flask laying on it's side on the floor. She followed the path of destruction that was made in the middle of the room, heading down towards the hallway. She had to fly to avoid stabbing herself.
When she looked down the hall, the first and only thing she noticed was the sliver of light peeking out from under and around the only ajar door. That drew her in like a moth to a flame, and she was glad she got there as soon as she did, for she found Lena on her side.
She was laying in what looked to be throw up and
blood.
Kara immediately phoned Alex, telling her that Lena was… messed up, somehow. She didn't explain, but told her to meet her the DEO. By this time, she had thought that it was empty.
She quickly grabbed a towels and wiped as much of the nasty off of Lena as she could. She grabbed a new one, apologizing silently for ruining two of Lena's towels. With that, she wrapped up Lena and flew her bridal style to the DEO.
When she got there, she found the place seemingly deserted, except for Alex standing up against a wall. She always had a way of getting there before her. When she spotted the limp body in Kara's arm, though, she rushed up to her sister and ushered her into a room.
"What happened?" Alex asked her sister.
"I'm not exactly sure," Kara said. "I got there and her apartment was trashed and there was this empty bottle on the floor," she took the bottle from her hands and gave it to Alex.
"You swiped this without her knowing?"
"She's been unconscious ever since I got there," Kara said, but Alex was already performing basic checks.
"And the blood?" Alex asked.
"Not sure."
They were silent for a second, then Alex got a bit panicky. "Kara she's not breathing and I can't give her CPR because I'm a bit drunk as well."
Kara knew what she had to do and she knew what it involved. She didn't have a second thought before or after saying, "I'll do it."
Alex stood back, though keeping on hand on Lena's pulse, and Kara started chest compressions. When it came time for mouth-to-mouth, Kara performed it.
Kara hadn't done it better before. She hadn't even properly given CPR to someone ever. She was going off of Alex's coaching.
After a few rounds of that, Alex placed her free hand on Kara's shoulder, signaling her to stop. "I got a pulse. She's okay. I should check for the source of the blood, though. You can go out-" Alex hesitated and pointed towards the door, "there with J'onn."
Kara immediately whipped her head around and saw the green martian out of disguise. She got embarrassed suddenly and ran out while Alex got some latex surgical gloves on.
When she got out there, she stared J'onn deep into his eyes. "You got that, psychic?"
J'onn nodded.
"Good. Then what should I do?"
"Go for it," J'onn responded.
Kara wasn't expecting that answer. "But I-"
"Want to let her down easy? Don't let her down at all. I saw the way you looked at her, and I saw in your head the way she looks at you. People don't meet people like that all the time. Now, go in and see Lena. She'll need you."
Kara smiled and hugged her friend. "Thank you."
J'onn smiled. "It's my job."
Kara walked back in to find the search for the source of the blood accomplished and an IV hooked up to Lena. When she walked over to Alex, she saw her studying a broken piece of glass.
"It must have stabbed her after she sat down. It was in the lower back." Alex explained. "It just missed her spinal cord. She's lucky."
Kara let out a breath of relief. "What about the alcohol?"
"It's some sort of rare and high-priced liquor. It's 6 or 7 times stronger than anything I've even drank."
"That doesn't sound like fun."
"No, not at all."
Kara was nervous. "Will she be okay?"
"In time, Kara. She just needs time, and if she wants that, you should let her breathe. I see the way you look at her, and while you may not need the same thing, she may."
Kara sighed. "Is it that obvious?"
Almost immediately, Alex replied. "Yes. Yes it is."
"J'onn said the same thing."
Alex smirked. "Get home, Kara. You've had a rough night. Go get into pajamas and sleep."
Kara refused, stomping her feet and pouting like a 5 year old. Oh, if Lena could see her now.
"I'm not going to get you to go, am I?"
Kara smiled. "No. No you're not."
Kara sat there, in the room, next to Lena. The chair she was sitting in was uncomfortable and not fun to sit in at all, but she would happily stay there for the rest of her life if it meant that she would see Lena awake and healthy again.
God, why did she have to react that way!? She wasn't even joking around when she told Lena to kiss her; she really did want to kiss her. She wanted Lena to pull her close and to hold her like no one ever has before. She reacted the way she did because she didn't think anyone could love her that much.
She was so wrong, though. Even in her dreams, Lena was with Kara. They were skiing, for some reason.
Kara was falling asleep when she moved her hand up to Lena's. She grabbed on and didn't let go, even when she did end up drifting off.
When Lena woke up, she was startled to find Supergirl with her head on her leg and her hand in hers. She was tempted to let her rest and stay there forever, but she had way too many questions for that. She squeezed Kara's hand and attempted to wake her.
"Kara, are you-" Lena didn't even need to finish her sentence because Kara was up and squealing like a child on Christmas.
"Lena you're awake I'm so happy and relieved that you're okay and I'm sorry for how I acted and sorry I took you here and not the hospital and you probably have a lot of questions," Kara spewed in a single breath.
"No, you pretty much answered them in that sentence," Lena replied. She smiled, and by God did Kara miss her smile. Her teeth, her hair, her everything was why Kara asked her to kiss her that night. She really, really liked her. "But where am I, exactly and what happened to me?"
Alex walked in with a clipboard and what seemed to be Lena's chart on it. "Well, you got really, really drunk, stabbed yourself accidentally with a piece of glass from a pocket mirror, Kara heard you asking for help, flew there, helped you, and brought you here, where we got you back to life."
Lena shook her head a bit. "I lost you at 'flew there'."
Kara smiled and looked innocently at Lena. "You stopped breathing, so I needed to give you CPR and then you started breathing again. Oh, and you're at the DEO. I figured here would be better considering everything. You're lucky, J'onn shut down the DEO for you. The people who work here and thanking you. Vasquez even told me to tell you 'thank you for your service' personally." With that, Alex nodded and walked out of the room, looking content.
"Thank you, Kara," Lena told her taller counterpart.
"It's no issue. The real issue," Kara began, reluctant to begin this talk, but eager to get to the end, "is how I reacted that night I told you to kiss me."
Lena frowned and her eyes looked watery. Kara responded immediately.
"Oh, no, don't cry, you're too pretty for crying," Kara said while taking both her thumbs up to Lena's cheeks and wiped underneath her eyes. "I wasn't going to hurt you, not intentionally at least. I just, just didn't know what to do."
Lena was confused. "What do you mean?"
Kara thought. "I mean, I guess I didn't know how to properly express emotions like that at the time and I thought if I got you to make the move I would be able to do that better, I guess?"
Lena stopped and pressed her right cheek closer into Kara's palm. "Well, I guess you could now considering all that you've just admitted to me," Lena suggested.
Kara did just that, while Alex was falling on the floor laughing.
"My experience with Maggie was just like- Maggie! Crap, I forgot to meet her for breakfast. I'll be back, J'onn," Alex said, and ran as fast as she could out of the door.
J'onn shook his head. "No, you won't."
