A/N: Hi everyone! I've read a few reviews that have sparked my writing for this story again, and would like to say thank you to those that left reviews. I've been kind of MIA on here, due to sports, getting a job, school year finishing up, etc. but I am hoping to get back on track and update some of my stories. Thank you once again, and I hope you enjoy this emotional chapter.
Contains M-Material!
Also, please don't mind how long it is; I got kind of carried away. Please leave a review if you liked it!
Wake up. Breakfast. Work. Save lives. Dinner. Bed. Repeat.
Those had been the last few days for Mark, seeing as Lexie mainly remained distant. Though Mark would comfort her as much as he could; sleeping just a little closer, or even giving her lotion massages at night before they went to bed, even encouraging her to join his morning run on the beach (which she opposed heavily). So Mark's in Addison's office, begging her to do something for her. Adoption was certainly an option; Derek and Meredith had chose the route, but Mark doesn't want adoption. Mark wants nine full months of hell and heaven mixed in one sweet womb, inside of his wife's uterus. God knows that he wants it all, and she does too, but things happen, he supposed. Sorrow coats the silver lining in his life, and they sink into something dark and deep. Even if it is just a few days, he hates it.
Heels click out of the elevator as Lexie storms past Mark, getting to her office to focus on work. That's all she does. Work. It's how she distracts herself, he supposes. He sees her slip out of bed at odd hours, going downstairs to review cases. She's emailing Amelia and texting her at the first chance she can get, just talking about work. Amelia's even been down, too, seeing as Amanda's recovery was well, but not as good as hoped originally. Lexie's fingers push the door shut, drawing blinds before she walks to her desk, setting her purse down and immediately putting her head down on her desk. It hurts. Everything. It's the first time in a long time that her body isn't covered with sunshine; it's cloudy, and rainy in LA today. Great, what else could go wrong?
There's a soft knock on the door, and she lifts her head, seeing Addison poke in. Lexie holds her breath, and stares as the redhead makes her way to her desk, heels clicking slowly.
"I brought your file," she starts, brushing back her hair as she sets it on the oak desk. "I wanted to discuss options, Lexie. I know this has been a huge amount of news," she pauses, before looking into Lexie's eyes. "It's not the end. You have options."
Lexie's eyes are solid, not moving a bit before Addison begins to open the file. Addison's searching through papers, as Lexie walks to her window, sliding it open. A small breeze hits her face as she does so, and she turns back to see Mark opening the door and walking in. He's got a cup of coffee in his hand, suit on tight and ready to go. Lexie freezes as she looks into Mark's eyes, walking back to her desk and putting a hand on the oak.
"If you both want to step into my office...?" Addison questions softly, before Mark nods.
He looks up at Lexie. "Come on, Lex. We still have a chance." Mark's words are soft and meaningful, before Lexie nods slowly. She walks to him, slipping her hand into his before she slips a kiss onto his cheek, lips meeting gray stubble. Addison's walking out, and he presses his lips to hers for a peck.
"You can get every other woman pregnant but me, huh?" She asks, hand pressing against his chest as they begin to walk to Addison's office.
He can only offer a small smile, chuckling softly as they follow Addison's lead to her office.
( M & L )
Hands press to open his office door, reading Sam Bennett across the glass. Her lips curl into a smile, hand pressed against her stomach with the other carrying a bag before she walks into his office. He's typing something on his computer, glasses on as he flips to a file before looking up at Naomi with a smile. He leans back in his chair as he sees the bag in her hand; the local breakfast stand a block away from their practice was delicious, and served things to-go. Naomi sets the bag on his desk, before pulling up a chair and sitting.
"You didn't have to walk all the way out there, I could have gotten it." Sam says, ultimately feeling bad about making his pregnant wife walk out there and do the work like that. He feels as if she's already got enough strain on her, with work and all.
She takes out the takeout boxes, setting one in front of him. "Don't be ridiculous, Sam. I'm pregnant; not immobile." She laughs softly, setting silverware in front of him. "You were the same way when I was pregnant with Maya. I'm too pregnant to pick up a box, but when it comes to the bedroom..."
"Oh, stop," he laughs as he uncovers his omelette loaded with vegetables. "That's different."
"Oh, really?" She asks, uncovering her tray of pancakes. The baby was craving pancakes this morning, drenched in syrup. So that's what she got. Pancakes with extra syrup.
Sam begins to cut into his egg, before looking down the hall to see Addison opening her office for Mark and Lexie to step into. "Mark tell you about Lexie?" Sam questions, fork meeting his mouth.
Naomi nods, mouth full of pancakes as she chews for a few seconds, swallowing. "She did. What an awful diagnosis, huh?" She asks, cutting more into her hot cakes before Sam nods, sighing as well.
"You saw how much Mark wanted a baby when he was down here with his daughter. And that was just his grandson; imagine what he wants with Lexie. He seems crazy about her." Sam looks to his wife, as she presses a hand to her stomach.
She looks down, swallowing before looking up to Sam. "I have baby guilt. We get pregnant without even wanting to, and they're in there... heartbroken. And I'm here eating pancakes because my baby is demanding that I do so." Naomi shakes her head. "We'll give them our baby."
"Funny." Sam smiles, shaking his head with a bit of laughter. "Don't keep the baby guilt too long, you've got a patient that wants to meet with you in a half hour."
"Is it them?" She quickly asks, before Sam shakes his head.
"No, it's not. Here's their file; they called this morning, said it was urgent. I scheduled them in before your first appointment, if that's okay."
Naomi smiles. "If I didn't have pancakes on my plate right now, it wouldn't be. You got lucky this morning." She says, before he leans over his desk, pressing a kiss to her lips.
( M & L )
Her office is quiet, only thing making noise is the corner fan that oscillates back and forth. Lexie's sitting on the couch with Mark's hand in hers, as Addison had been up all night preparing a battle plan for getting pregnant when they had wanted to. And Lexie sits, so nervous. It's what she's wanted with Mark for about a year now; and for a while longer, in the back of her head, she supposes. How could she not want a kid with him? He was Mark. Her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. She's wanted the best for them, ever since everything happened in the plane crash. She's wanted him since... since when she first figured out that George had hardly knew she existed.
And Mark's wanted her since he even gave her the advice. He had thought it was just an older-younger friendship, but what he really wanted was the satisfaction of being with her. And over the years, when they were on and off, he thought that she was just perfect. She was Lexie. Lexie Grey, the girl who had been his goddess. And he did everything to spoil her in any way possible; he loved it all; especially in the bedroom. She would go above and beyond for him, and he'd do the same for her. Maybe that's what kept him so young.
"I ran tests," Addison clears her throat, looking at the brunette as she holds out a file for her to take. "Treatments are completely possible, Lexie. You can get pregnant, you just need a little push."
Lexie looks at Mark, before taking the file and opening it.
Addison sits across from them, sighing. "I uh... listed all the treatments I could possibly do for you to help get you the pregnancy you want."
"Addison... thank you," Lexie says, looking up from the file.
Addison smiles faintly, before Mark looks at Addison, unfazed as he sees Addison's weariness.
"Red, what's that look?" He asks, before sitting up a bit more. "What aren't you telling us?"
Lexie freezes, and Addison looks to the floor, where her black heels are glued to each other because she's so afraid to move. And silence fills the room once more, before she looks at Mark.
"The chances of Lexie getting pregnant are slim. Even with the treatments, I can't say for certain she'll get pregnant. It's a long-shot, but still possible." Addison looks at Mark before sighing. "I can't say for sure we can get her pregnant, but I think with the right amount of treatments and the correct consistency... it's possible."
Lexie looks up at Mark, placing a hand on his chest before she feels her eyes begin to tear up. Lexie's finger brushes Mark's beard, before she curls into his body. "Oh," Mark pulls an arm around her as she says the saddened word, and Addison looks back down to the ground.
"She said it's still possible." Mark reassures Lexie, comforting her softly.
Addison licks her lips before looking back up to the couple, determined face on her features. "Lexie, I've been through what you're going through right now. You were me five years ago. Can I share something with you?" Addison asks, as Lexie looks over to Addison, wiping a tear. "I couldn't get pregnant. After I aborted my first baby... I found out I couldn't get pregnant. And I tried everything; mostly I was trying to find someone to have a baby with, but..." Addison trails off, before coming back. "I have a baby boy at home right now, and I get to spend the next sixteen years of my life caring for him, and then on. So it's possible," Addison leans back, looking at the two. "You guys will have a baby. It's just going to take time."
Mark pulls in Lexie, kissing her forehead before she stands up quickly.
"Thank you," she says quickly before she skids out the door with heels clanking quickly against the floor. The door slams, and she's running off to the bathroom.
Amelia's in the office's kitchen, seeing her run by before stepping out into the hall and hearing the door slam shut. She has a look of confusion on her face, before she begins to walk down the hall.
( M & L )
Lexie's splashing water over her face, looking into her reflection. Water droplets slowly make their way down her face as she stares into her reflection, thinking about her future. If Meredith were here, she'd know. Hell, she went through the same problem. Maybe not for the same reason, but she couldn't get pregnant. Except, Lexie can get pregnant. It's just a matter of time, right? That didn't convince herself anything, however, and she feels hopeless. Water drips down her face slowly, as she wishes nothing more than to be in Seattle. She's homesick. She wants to go home. Back to where her family is. Her dad, and his twenty year old girlfriend. To sit back in her old room, curled in blankets and ice cream at her side. She wants nothing more than to stress eat, but on some level, she's still self conscious around Mark. Even though, when she's had a bad day, he brings home a carton of her favorite ice cream for her to eat.
Her head turns when she hears the door open, seeing Amelia poke her head in. Lexie's eyes, watery and glossy quickly blink as if they could dry off in the matter of seconds, before Amelia's walking her way.
"Hey," Amelia puts an arm over Lexie, holding her. "What is up with you these past few days?"
Lexie hadn't dare tell Amelia that she couldn't get pregnant. Not when Amelia had given birth to a child, only to lose it seconds later before its organs were harvested from its body. Lexie didn't know what the boundaries were with that scenario; so she thought it was best to keep quiet about her current situation. Amelia looks at Lexie, who is clearly avoiding eye contact before Lexie wipes her face.
"It's nothing, it's—it's—" Lexie begins to break down again, crouching down and falling onto her ass as she curls up in a ball, crying because she's at the embrace of her best friend who couldn't know what her deal was, and she was in a place where the only people she knew was the one who she couldn't tell any of this to, her boyfriend who wouldn't begin to understand, and her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend who was also her doctor. Tough break.
Amelia's down on the ground with her, holding her in her arms as Lexie breaks down, making mumbles of, it's okay, and, shh...
Lexie wipes tears, as she leans into Amelia's embrace, trying to calm herself down but it's no good. Days of pent up sadness and angst begins to pour out of her and she's miserable. Why couldn't she have a kid naturally? To pee on a stick one day because she'd been feeling symptoms, and walk out of the bathroom to hug Mark tightly and whisper in his ear that they finally did it; they were finally pregnant.
Amelia's confused as hell—did something happen with Mark and Lexie? Amelia's mind wanders over every possibility that could make Lexie this way, crying on the tiles of a bathroom floor.
That's when Amelia hears a knock at the door, turning her head. "We're a bit busy in here," Amelia yells out, hugging Lexie tighter.
On the other side is Mark, holding his ear to the door. "Amelia?" he asks, eyebrow raised. "Is Lexie in there with you?"
Amelia looks down at Lexie, as she's quickly pulling herself together, sitting up off the floor. "I'm in here, Mark," she calls out with a shaky voice before the door opens, and Mark looks down at the two women.
Slowly, Amelia stands, looking at Mark before walking out in the hallway where Violet, Addison, and Naomi are all standing. Amelia looks at all of them, blank expression, before walking down the hall and back to her office.
( M & L )
Lexie's crying in Mark's arms for a good half hour. They haven't moved from the floor, hoping that they've kept a good clean on this place, as Mark holds Lexie close, kissing her forehead every so often and letting her know that it's okay. Yet, Lexie can't help but blame herself in the moment. She knows how much Mark wanted a kid, with her especially. Sure, Sofia was his, but Lexie sees the times when Mark brings her home to her two mothers. How happy Sofia is to be home, back with her parents. Not the father that's taken a step back. She looks up to Mark, who's running a hand through her hair.
"I love you," she whispers softly, looking into his eyes before looking down. "And I'm sorry—"
"Don't," he says sternly, before placing a kiss on her forehead again. "This is not your fault. This is the plane crash's. Not yours." He strokes her hair, and she nuzzles herself into his chest. Fingers run down his chest, and she inhales, wiping tears.
She begins to get up, fixing her skirt and slipping back on her heels. She looks in the mirror, fixing her hair and making sure that none of her makeup is too badly damaged. She looks down at Mark, before smiling. "Thank you."
Mark begins to stand up, making a small groan before he places a kiss onto her lips, kissing her softly for seconds. When the kiss ends, and their lips are seconds apart, he looks into her eyes with a small smile. "Cookie dough or rocky road?" He asks softly, before she pulls him into another kiss again, laughing softly in the kiss before she breaks it once more.
"Surprise me." She says before stepping back, looking into his eyes. "I told my patient I'd check up on her this afternoon, so I've gotta go. But I'll see you tonight."
"Don't stay out too late." He says before she smiles, and she looks at him.
She's about to walk out the door before she stops, turning around. "Oh, you may want to walk out with me."
"What, why?" He asks, walking to her side, looking down at her nearly-playful look.
She laughs gently, before shaking her head. "Because Mark Sloan walking out the girl's bathroom alone might seem a little awkward, even for Los Angeles."
He grins, nudging her before he pushes the handle down, opening the door.
( M & L )
Violet sits across to Amanda, crossing her legs. Amanda's had the chance to recover, and is finally out on her own. Violet's got a cup of tea in her hands, overlooking Amanda's file. But half the time, Violet doesn't even use the file; she goes off-script. She gets personal.
Amanda sits, blank expression. The session was short, quiet, and not filled with much talking. Amanda would mutter small answers here and there, but mostly it was quiet.
"Amanda, I really want to get in and explore your past. You're keeping it balled up, and I'm really interested in seeing exactly why you are. Is that okay?"
Amanda shrugs, looking at Violet. "Dr. Turner, can I ask, what were your parents like?"
Violet looks at Amanda before she adjusts her position, looking down, before looking back to her. "My parents were... not the ideal couple." Violet nods, looking down at her cup of tea. "My father was a great user of drugs, and my mother was a woman fresh in her career path. She was the one that raised me. She died a few years ago, and I'm not sure what happened to my father. But growing up was tough." Violet pauses, looking at Amanda. "And your parents?"
Amanda looks down, before exhaling. "My father raised me alone. We lived out in the country, and he was a lawyer. He really inspired me to look into law, and I ended up choosing that as my major. He was older, too, so he was pretty wise. And getting enough good grades, I got into UCLA. And when my sister had her kid, around the same time, he was thrilled. So when I took my pregnancy test, I was so excited to get to call him and tell him that he had another kid on the way. He wouldn't care about a father, but I... I wanted him to have the chance to meet his grandchild before he would forget. Only reason I say that, is because he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease a year ago. So... getting pregnant didn't seem so bad. Getting my degree wouldn't be hard, except finding a cap and gown that would fit a pregnant woman." Amanda says softly, looking up at Violet.
Violet nods. "Amanda... having a baby because of that reason isn't exactly reasonable. You're looking at eighteen years of your life being dedicated to a child. And I know that most hardworking students don't want to go through eighteen years of school, then eighteen years of parenting, back-to-back. And I don't mean to criticize what you want but I'm just going off of what I would have thought or reacted in your position."
Amanda wipes a small tear, before nodding. "I understand what you're saying, doctor Turner." She says, before reaching for a tissue on the side table. "Are you a parent?"
Violet smiles softly, nodding. "I am."
"Love that child. Never stop loving that child. Because I will never stop loving mine." Amanda says briefly before wiping her nose with the tissue, and throwing it in the small trashcan. "Would you mind if we—um—cut the session short, today?"
Violet stands, handing Amanda another tissue. "Not at all. Go home and rest easy, Amanda. You're still healing."
Amanda looks at Violet, before taking the tissue and smiling. "Thank you for this, Doctor Turner."
"Do you have a ride home?" Violet asks, knowing that Amanda can't drive. Not after having surgery days prior.
Amanda nods. "My roommate is driving me home. Have a good day, Doctor Turner."
Violet smiles, before watching Amanda exit the room. She watches as she makes her way to the lobby, before rushing to the phone and dialing the "HOME" button. The room is silent as she waits. The line rings and rings, before her housekeeper picks up.
"Hello?" The voice asks, and Violet sits in her office chair.
She sits up, curling up her legs to her chest. "Hi Samantha, is Lucas there? Would you—Would you put him on the phone? I just want to talk to him."
Samantha, Violet's housekeeper agrees and calls Lucas over before handing the phone to him.
"Mommy?" There's a small, muffled voice through the phone that makes Violet smile.
Violet can't help but smile at the voice, sniffling her noise as she let's out a laugh out of pure happiness.
"Hi, baby." She says, wiping a small tear.
( M & L )
Amelia's in her office, responding to emails and eating her late lunch as she does so. She's got emails past what she can handle, and considers hiring someone to manage her email just so she can handle the amount. But emails and responses aren't exactly what's on her mind. Lexie is all she can think about; because for the past week, she's been acting so strange. And Amelia just couldn't figure out why. Of course, Amelia kept quiet, feeling the need to actually filter out this one. So every time she saw Lexie brush off lunch dates, or even small coffee talks in the office's kitchen, she just shoved down what she wanted to ask so badly. A hand stretches to her temple, rubbing it gently before she goes back to typing, before she hears a knock at her door.
"Come in," Amelia says, stabbing lettuce with her fork at eating.
Lexie walks in, looking at Amelia before she slowly closes the door so gently that it almost doesn't even shut.
"Hey," Lexie says quietly as she walks in.
Amelia looks up, before looking back to her computer quickly. "Uh, hey," she says, trying not to seem too interested. She didn't want to get shut down again.
Lexie sits in the chair in front of her desk, before crossing her legs. "I didn't mean to just blow you off back there; really."
Amelia doesn't look away from the screen, before nodding. "Mmhm."
Lexie sighs audibly, before looking at Amelia directly. "I need to talk to you about something."
Oh, now you want to talk to me about something? After ignoring me for a whole week when I was going through one of the roughest patches in months? Sure, tell me all about your freaking problems, Lexie. Tell me about how Mark won't put the seat down after he takes a freakin' piss, or how your cell service isn't as good next to your house on the freakin' ocean. Some of us have real problems, Lexie, and if you're not gonna be here for mine, then why the hell should I be there for you when you break a nail when you make the bed?
"Sure, talk to me." Amelia says quietly, before looking at Lexie, closing her laptop.
Lexie adjusts her legs, getting into a position that's more comfortable. Ever since the crash; she can never just sit normally. She clears her throat before looking down, and back to Amelia.
"I want to start off by apologizing for not being around much the past week. It's been a pretty tough one for me," she says as she looks into Amelia's hazel hues. "I went to Addison to do tests—because you had brought up having children, and I wanted to make sure everything was OK under the hood before Mark and I even started trying." Amelia freezes as her name is mentioned, before locking eyes with Lexie. "I can't get pregnant unless I do treatments. And even then, there's little chance that I will actually get pregnant with a baby."
Amelia looks into her eyes, unsure how to react. Here she was, complaining she couldn't have a baby when the only baby she had was a baby that was harvested for organs because it couldn't survive. Amelia stands up, walking to the window sill before placing hands on it, opening the window as Lexie stands, looking at Amelia.
"I never meant to push you away—I knew you were having a hard week, it's just that my news was pretty tough to swallow..."
Amelia looks at Lexie, before looking down. "You can't get pregnant easily, and when I can, I have a unicorn baby." She says with a shaky voice, before shaking her head. "That's messed up, Lexie, I know," she clarifies before putting a hand to her head, running it through her hair. "Here's what I want you to do. Go home tonight. And you don't leave Mark's side."
Lexie looks at Amelia, nodding slowly.
"He's hurting just as much as you, if not worse. Okay? Because you were not there when Addison aborted his baby, and he had me take all of the baby supplies he bought because he was no longer going to be a father. Clothes, bottles, a crib, toys; the whole works. And I took it because my friend at the time was having a baby." Amelia sighs, shaking her head. "That man has baby-issues. And when his grandson was taken away—don't think it didn't drive a knife through his heart."
Lexie runs a hand through her own hair before sighing. "I will."
Amelia walks to Lexie, hugging her tight and wrapping arms around her. "You will get pregnant. Okay? And don't rush it—your jeans never fit the same afterward, anyways," Amelia laughs lightly before Lexie hugs her back tightly.
"Thank you," she smiles, face full of the other woman's hair. "And if you need anything... I won't be preoccupied for you."
Amelia smiles faintly, nodding. "It's a little late but... thank you."
Lexie turns, walking out the door and shutting it before Amelia turns to go back to her desk.
( M & L )
Lexie opens the garage door, looking at the clock in her car which reads 9:51 PM. It's not too late; Mark will still be up, watching the football game if anything. She hits the button to close the garage, before opening the door to the house and stepping in. Inside, the kitchen lights are dim, and the living room light is on with Family Feud playing. Lexie sets her keys down on the counter, putting them into the dish where they kept them. She sets her purse on the table, and she looks around, before opening her purse to search for makeup to put upstairs.
"Mark?" She calls out, and she's looking around for any sign of him. He's probably in the bathroom, she thinks to herself before going back to her search.
She's astonished when she feels hands on her, and his scent. She gasps, feeling calloused hands touch her body.
He curls up to her, breathing on her neck. "I've been thinking about you, today," he says softly before she reaches up, cupping his jaw as he holds her from behind. Lexie stops, before grinning. "Did you get me ice cream?"
He laughs softly, kissing the indent in her neck. "Cookie dough with caramel sauce."
She grins still, and moves her hand down his chest, slowly. "I want to start treatment with Addison as soon as possible. Or — Jake. Whichever one," she says softly, turning her head to kiss him. "And since I can't get pregnant naturally... and if I did, we'd want it anyway..." she moves her hand to his crotch, cupping him with a smirk that's ranked evil on all levels. "Why don't you just forget the condom, tonight?"
And he doesn't know what it is, but he's kissing her now, breathing heavier, and shoves his crotch to her ass so he can show her just how much he's been waiting. "Stress sex, right?" she asks quietly, moaning quietly as he grips her breasts, kneading his thumb over her nipples, kissing her jawline before he makes a quick motion of sweeping her up, and bringing her up the stairs to get to the bedroom.
Sure, not being able to get pregnant naturally sucked, but it also had its benefits, she supposed as she feels hands on her back as he carries her.
Everything would work out great.
( M & L )
Sam's reading his book as Naomi takes off jewelry, taking off makeup and everything. It's a quiet night, like normal, as she steps into the bathroom before turning on the light. She walks inside, and Sam can hear the faucet turn, as she's probably brushing her teeth. That's what Sam thinks to himself, anyway, and he figures he needs to do the same before he closes his book.
"Ow—ooh, Sam!" Naomi shouts, hand pressing against her stomach as she bends over on the counter, crouching as she feels her water break, all while Sam rushes to her.
"The baby?" He asks quickly, before Naomi balls her fist.
She holds in a breath, before nodding. "Yes," she says quickly before Sam grabs the bag they'd packed in advance for this.
"Come on, we'll get you in the car and I'll get Addison!" He says, putting a hand over her back as he begins to walk with her.
"Sam—Sam?" She asks, feeling a sharp pain before Sam sees blood on the white carpet, where Naomi was standing prior.
"Come on Nay, we need to go now!"
