Author's note: Here we are at the end of this little ride. I would like to thank everyone who stuck with this fic and read it to the end. I'm sorry that I took so long between posts. I hope to do better with my next one which I will post soon.
Thank you to SirenBunny, KEF, and AriaJack for helping out with this fic.
Fifteen minutes later, they found themselves walking the halls of SGC. A quick call to Landry was all they needed to get Jon the necessary clearance.
Together, the three of them rode down the elevator. Jack and Jon were both feeling nostalgic. Jack was amazed that after two years away, he felt more at home here than anywhere else. One glance at Jon told him that he felt the same way.
Jon was the first to comment how much he missed the gate and Jack had to agree. Jack studied the younger him. Jon had his whole life ahead of him, when his was almost over. He had messed things up with Sam, big time, and lost that chance for happiness. There was no one to blame for that but himself.
Looking at Sam, he thought that it was time for a change. Neither of them were getting any younger, and time was running out. Both of them were still single, he loved her, and he thought she might still love him. Why not take a chance and try and fix what went wrong the first time
The small procession stopped at the door to an empty room, that Jon had lead them to. Using Sam's card, they unlocked the door and stepped into the room. They found Carter sitting on a bench with her knees up to her chest, arms wrapped around them, staring at the floor. She looked different, there was something in her eyes as she looked up at them framed in the doorway.
No one moved for a moment, finally Carter spoke, looking back down at the floor. "Why did you bring them here, Jon? This is our place, not their's. Who do you see when you look at me? Is it me, or do you see her?"
Jon never hesitated. "You, Carter. It's always been you. I love you, not Sam. I'm not saying that in the beginning, I didn't love her, but then I realized that it could never be. Now there was too much separating us, more than when we were on SG-1 together. If I wanted to be with her, she needed to be like me. It was then that I contacted Thor. With his help Sam was able to create you."
Sam looked at Jon, who nodded his consent, "Carter, you are you. You have made choices that I didn't. You started out as me, but the minute you were created, you became Carter. Our lives have parted ways."
Looking at Jack, she sighed, "Most of all you have the advantage of learning from my mistakes." She looked at Jack, "I loved him for a long time and what did I do about it? Nothing, but you have a chance to love Jon. I'm sure you've been attracted to others, but who do you always come back to? Who are your feelings strongest for? Ask yourself, and be honest, because if you are, you have a chance to be happier than I ever was. That alone will make us different." Sam looked at Jack again and then away quickly, not wanting him to see how much she wanted what Carter and Jon had. To have a chance to be happy, but she was still scared, what if she truly was the black widow?
Carter studied all of them for a moment and then nodded. Using her arms, she jumped down from the bench and faced her double. "You mean loving Jonathan O'Neill instead of locking it all away in that room and pretending that I don't feel anything. Watching him almost die and doing nothing, not letting anyone see the pain. Letting the world dictate our lives because you were scared, so scared. Only to realize too late that no matter how many times you save the world, if you have no one to share it with, all you have is ashes where your dreams used to be and no one to keep you warm at night. What do you want Sam, more importantly who do you want? Time's slipping away from you." The younger woman pushed past Sam and offered her hand to Jon.
"Yes, I'll marry you. You're right. We're not them. We have our whole lives ahead of us. Let's not waste it like they have." She stood before him with nothing hidden, all of her emotions open for him to see.
Jon cupped her cheek, brushing a gentle kiss across her lips. "Good" was all he said before taking her hand and leading her to the door. Opening it for Carter, he followed her through; when he paused, "Jack, Sam-stop wasting time. You love her, she loves you. Work it out." The door closed behind the younger man with a finality.
Not looking at Sam, Jack crossed to the door and tried to open it. The door refused to budge, it was locked. Waving his arm he said, "Carter, pass me your card. I want outta here." Still refusing to look at her, he held out his hand.
The card was placed in his upturned palm but her finger lingered. He closed his eyes tightly to fight the sensations created by her touch. "Sam, where did we go wrong? Where did I go wrong? Why did we hurt one another so much?" His voice was so quiet she almost didn't hear him.
Not knowing she had moved until she touched his shoulder, he opened his eyes to meet her gaze while continuing to speak. "Were we that scared it wouldn't work, that it didn't? Did we spend so much time trying to protect ourselves from the possibility of pain, that we caused it? Sam, what did I do? Tell me. I want to fix it, to make it right between us."
"No, Jack, it was me." she turned away from him. "I had this horrible fear that if I stayed, you would die. I thought it would be better to leave before..."
He grabbed her shoulder, "Before what? We served together for eight years, I almost died dozens of times but you never ran? Why then, what changed?"
She wouldn't meet his eyes. "It was Orlin, when he came back as a child to warn us about the Ori. I had to watch him slowly destroy himself for me. Watching him destroy his mind trying to hold on to those memories that would save us. I'm toxic to anyone who loves me. I have to hurt them or they die. Jonas Hansen thought he was a god, was thrown into a worm hole and splattered on the iris,; Narim's planet was destroyed by the Gou'ald,; Orlin died saving me from our own stupidity; and then there was Martouf and Lantesh, I killed them myself. I pushed you away so you wouldn't die like those other Jack's we'd met. I thought that if I stayed with you, it would have happened."
He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say Samantha. Don't you think I should have had a choice in this?"
She tried to pull away, but he held on to her, "I thought it would be better to live without you and know you were alive than to live with you and fear that I would kill you."
Dropping his hands, he ran them through his hair, "We stayed apart for so long, pretending, and imagining what it would be like if we had a chance to be together. Then you walked away because you thought I would die?" He was frustrated. This didn't seem to be getting them anywhere, just around and around in circles.
Looking at Sam, he changed tactics. Reaching up, he brushed her cheek with his lips. "Sam, I want to be with you." Leaning in closer, he brushed his lips against hers. Then he lifted her her chin so he could look into her eyes. "Do you really want to be alone?"
Struggling to remain unmoved by him, she asked, . "Can it be that easy? All we have to do is decide to be happy and we are? Life's just not like that Jack."
He ran his hands up her arms and cupped her cheek, "It is if you want it to be. I love you and I think you love me. We can keep hurting each other or we can be together and be happy. Our mini me's are, why can't we? Carter's right, Sam it's time to decide what you want."
"It isn't that easy. You're in Washington and I'm here." She tried to pull away from him, put some distance between them, and remember all the reasons she left.
He knew what she was doing, what she was trying to do, so he held on. "Those are only excuses, not problems. You deserve to be happy and to have everything you want. Sam, stop fighting and let me love you, always."
He knew the moment she stopped fighting him, and herself and gave into what they had both wanted for so long. She only spoke one word, "Jack." And her body melted into his, bringing her lips to meet his.
The door opened quietly, Jon and Carter stuck their heads inside, and pulled them back out again. "Told you it would work." Jon said, giving her a nudge as they headed toward the elevator.
"I know, but I had my doubts about them, and us. Jon. I love you, not him, not anymore. I just had to know." She turned toward him, "I'm not sorry for what I did, but I'm sorry if I hurt you. I remembered the trick you taught me, to dump the shots without anyone seeing. I didn't drink anything, I know the risks. I want this more than I thought possible. I want to be with you, not Jack or anyone else. I love you."
"I know, I love you too." He gave her a quick kiss and started walking down the hall toward the elevator, holding out his hand to her, "Let's go, Danny owes me five hundred bucks. He said it wouldn't work."
Looking back at the door she said with a sigh. "I'm glad they stopped being stupid, and are happy. Do you think we should tell them about the baby? After all, they would be its aunt and uncle. We may be a crazy one but we are all family."
Knowing what he would be doing right now, Jon shook his head. "I think they're a little busy right now. We can do it later at Daniel and Vala's tonight. It'll be our surprise."
Stepping into the elevator, Jon thought that there would be more than one surprise at the party tonight, other than theirs.
That's the end I hope you enjoyed this one. It was a strange one for me to write but there it is.
