Author's Notes: Updates will be irregular or possibly non-existent for a while due to work. Normal ones should resume after the first week of September.

Speaking of weeks, apparently, my birthday is arriving by the next.

Oh dear.


Shepard is gone by the time Traynor makes it up to the med bay.

Of course.

Because that would have made things easy.

Traynor comes up to visit her after completing her tasks, and it turns out the commander has already been discharged from the ship's infirmary. Dr. Chakwas confirms that Shepard has retreated to her room in one of her "dark moods" which always appear after spending time in the medbay. She asks not to be disturbed unless 1) there is an urgent message from Admiral Hackett or 2) the crew is being kidnapped by the Reapers' agents again.

Traynor isn't particularly fond of the sound of the second option. Again? What again? Why is there an again there?

Chakwas waves off the question and says it probably won't happen this time around. Shepard has promised that much.

The specialist is not reassured.

They chat for a while, comparing their experiences in London when it occurs to Traynor that the doctor could prove to be an invaluable source of information on Shepard. She opens her mouth then shuts it promptly.

Something about the sly glint of intelligence in Chawkas' eyes makes her wary of asking a direct question about the commander. Or maybe her past experiences these last few hours has taught her that things can and will go wrong at a moment's notice. Especially with people who are well acquainted with the commander for some reason.

Her instincts are proven right when Dr. Chakwas later confesses her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Specialist. I had half-expected you to come into the med-bay, looking for information on the commander."

Traynor's heart stops for a long moment. It beats again after some rather giddy laughter. "Why would you think that? The commander is impressive and all, but it's not like she's the only person in the galaxy."

"I suppose I just got into a habit of expecting a crush of some sort from the crew members when they come into my med-bay and ask about her. Especially the younger ones. I had a feeling you might be one of them, but I guess my instincts aren't as keen as they used to be in my age."

Oh, Dr. Chakwas. Ha ha ha ha…

Traynor quickly diverts the subject from herself. "I guess the commander's a popular woman nowadays."

"She's always been popular. First, with the Admirals and, secondly, with everyone on board. I can't begin to tell you how many people have asked me about her, like they think I can figure out the commander any better than they can." She shakes her head. "And perhaps, I can, but I certainly won't let any information slip from me easily. At least, not until I've gone through several bottles of Serrice Ice Brandy." Her eyes twinkle in a way that reminds Traynor uncomfortably of Garrus'. "Would you care to make a bet during a friendly drinking contest?"

"I'm sorry, doctor. Not all of us are made of credits for extravagantly expensive things." Like a 6,000 credit toothbrush.

Traynor shushes herself.

"Alas. I shall have to attend to my patients sober and richer for the experience then." Chakwas sifts through her medical reports. "Was anything else you needed?"

The specialist shakes her head and bids Dr. Chakwas goodbye. She leaves the med-bay feeling frustrated.

The rest of the hours melt by in a blur. Traynor gets lost integrating the incoming combat data from turian and Alliance forces into a comprehensive report. It's becomes so late at night that only EDI is fully awake. Traynor sits in the mess hall, trying to finish her data with only the AI to talk to.

And EDI can be very talkative when she wants to be.

"...there are approximately 15,000 recommended procedures about how to approach a prospective partner in the known galactic space. I have narrowed the search parameters down to human female, and the numbers have been reduced to a mere 3, 000. I have further divided that along the lines of age and gender, and have come up with a few 256 suggestions."

Traynor groans. She rubs her eyes.

"Many of these suggestions recommend giving her a gift of some kind, like a card or aromatically-pleasing plants. Roses appear to be a popular choice in human literature."

Flowers? Somehow, Traynor gets the impression the commander wouldn't know what to do with a bouquet of flowers unless it shot bullets.

"Perhaps, a musical composition of some sort. A ballad?"

Traynor imagines herself trying to play something that isn't a chess board in front of the commander, and that plan's out faster than the Normandy can jump relays.

"Have you considered using a pharmaceutical to simulate the feelings in Shepard you wished for her to have? "

That would be in violation of several dozen Alliance laws. And probably a hundred galactic ones.

"Perhaps, talking to her would be the simplest solution?"

Like she hasn't tried. Shepard refuses to respond to any comm message that doesn't pertain to mission reports or urgent messages. When pressed, she answers with a grumpy snarl then disconnects the channel. Traynor thinks it is probably a good idea to wait until her foul mood burns out first. Whenever it does...

"Many of these recommended methods of provoking a sexual response from the other party have over a 95% failure rate when factors of the commander's personality and history are taken into account." EDI pauses. "Have you reconsidered your attitude to the pharmaceutical method?"

Traynor drops her head on the table. As much as she appreciates EDI's enthusiasm in the matter, she thinks both she and the AI would benefit if the specialist vastly simplifies the search parameters.

"EDI-"

The hiss of doors opening cut her off.

Dr. T'Soni steps into the mess hall. Her eyes are shadowy and hollowed.

EDI stops her suggestions, and Traynor is relieved until Dr. T'Soni sits down and the specialist sees her expression.

She suddenly wishes that EDI would keep talking.

"Liara, is something the matter?" EDI asks.

"Not at all. I wish to have a brief, friendly chat with Specialist Traynor. Please engage the privacy lock."

That doesn't sound like it would be brief or friendly at all.

Traynor eyes the path back to the elevator. She's in reasonable shape. She could probably make it in under a few seconds.

EDI says, "If it is privacy you need, the Starboard Observation deck offers-"

"Thank you, but the matter I will discussing with Specialist Traynor is not of Alliance secrecy. I merely wish to talk to her without interruptions."

"I would not interrupt-"

"EDI, please. This is something that cannot be shared with anyone else but the two of us. Remember what we have discussed back in my cabin."

What? What did they discuss? Why does it need to be mentioned? Should Traynor run now? Now?

EDI is silent for a moment. "Of course. I will leave you two to discuss your business." Her tone sounds apologetic. "Engaging privacy lock."

And Traynor is alone to discuss a foreboding topic with the powerful biotic across from her. She has just developed a new and passionate hatred of privacy lock and all its implications.

Dr. T'Soni stares at her over the top of her hands. Her eyes are unreadable and scrutinizing. It's like being scanned by EDI, except the AI at least tries to make a joke while doing so.

"Specialist Traynor." She carefully enunciates each word, her tone soft and demure. It's a complete contrast to the look on her face that makes Traynor avoid her eyes.

"Dr. T'Soni, how can I help you?"

"Please, just call me Liara."

"All right, Liara. Is there something on your mind?" Traynor sounds remarkably steady and calm. She is impressed with herself. She doesn't sound like she's cursing out EDI's inconvenient silence at all.

"You seem to be working hard tonight." Liara touches the data pads on the table. "Not planning to sleep?"

"Are you?"

Liara glances at the specialist. Her gaze is cool.

"There is too much to do. I am sure you would agree." She withdraws from the pads and links her fingers together. Traynor is suddenly reminded of being in grade school and sitting in front of a principal who is about to exact a confession from her. Not that ever happened to her. She was a model student.

Mostly.

Anyways, Liara staring at her unnervingly. Yes, back to that.

"I heard you were talking to Dr. Chakwas earlier today, asking about Shepard."

Traynor's not sure where this is heading, but she doesn't like it already. "Yes, I ask if she knew if the commander had any requisition orders she wanted delivered." Among other things.

Liara flicks her eyes over the specialist. "Was that really all you wanted to know?"

"Yes. Was there something else I needed to know?"

"That depends." Liara meets the specialist's gaze dead on, and Traynor barely stops herself from looking away.

Dr. T'Soni may be a competent information broker and one of Shepard's closest allies, but that does not mean the specialist feels comfortable asking her questions. The asari's eyes are piercing. It feels as if the doctor is looking through her and reading her secrets at the back of her skull.

Traynor'd really rather have another go at Joker again than this.

"How interested are you to find out more about Shepard?"

"As interested as a simple comm specialist can be about her commanding officer."

"Indeed." Liara doesn't move and neither does Traynor.

The specialist has a chance to study the asari's smooth skin, the vivid blue hues of her eyes, and the elegant poise in her posture. Liara is remarkably pretty. Traynor is glad that she is, otherwise she'd probably start to think that this prolonged and unnecessary silence would be rather awkward.

"Was…there something specific you wanted to talk to me about?" Traynor asks.

"A source of mine has mentioned the possibility that you are invested in a certain someone as more than just another colleague."

Traynor feels sweat beading down her back. Is it Garrus? EDI? Did Joker blab? Oh, it probably was Joker. Traynor is going to kill him!

Well, not kill. Maybe somewhat maim him would be a better approximation...maybe just steal his hat when he's not looking.

"Really, I didn't figure you for the type to indulge in idle gossip." Traynor smiles nonchalantly while her heart is thudding hard and fast in her chest. The back-and-forth nature of the conversation reminds her of a chess game. All she needs to do is keep it together, look for openings…

"I normally would not, but because I felt this more than 'idle gossip', there was a need for me to step in."

"Because of your relationship to the commander." Traynor is rewarded for her speculation by Liara's brief expression of surprise. The asari quickly composes herself.

"Is that what Joker told you?" Her tone is perfectly civil. It's terrifying to look into her eyes.

"I took a guess based on your interactions together." Traynor isn't telling a lie, per say. She has thought it suspicious with the way they throw glances at each other, with how the commander frets over each injury T'Soni receives, or how Liara lets her, despite being perfectly capable to deal with them herself. Given enough time, Traynor could have worked out that there is something between them herself.

Also, she only wants the Normandy pilot partially maimed and/or robbed, not…whatever it is Liara has threatened to do to him.

"So, he hasn't mentioned anything about Shepard and I?" Liara looks sceptical. Traynor admits she probably would be too since it is Joker.

"Not that I know of. Is there something I should know?"

"You are interested in the commander."

"Well, if I was, I'd think I would already know that." Traynor's heart feels like it's trying to dash up her throat. "And I wouldn't trust your source. We both know how much Joker can exaggerate."

Liara's expression is completely impassive. Traynor is both impressed and frustrated. She can't get anything off of her face.

"Was it Joker?"

"I do not give out the identities of my sources. It does not lend me much credit as an information broker." A smile flickers at Liara's lips, but it feels faint, shadowy. "It does not change the point of my discussion."

"Which is?

Liara tilts her head to the side as if calculating her next move.

"Did you know Shepard and I used to be lovers?"

If Liara's aim is to throw Traynor off-balance, she succeeds.

Traynor stares blankly at the asari before she remembers she's supposed to say something intelligent. "Er…."

Yes, like that. Perfect.

"What do you mean 'used to'?"

Liara picks at something on her coat, even though her clothes are immaculate. "I suppose in human terms, we had 'broken up'."

"Why?"

"Irreconcilable differences."

"You mean because she died?"

"Most consider death an irreconcilable difference."

She sits back and rubs her crest thoughtfully. "Shepard and I are just different people now. Neither she nor I are who we used to be."

Doesn't mean you care less about her, Traynor almost says aloud. She catches herself and shoves a coffee cup in front of her mouth. It then dawns on her that this may be what the conversation is about. A second thought hits her right after.

She's on a ship with Shepard's ex. A beautiful ex with several doctorate degrees, an extensive information network, and the ability to crush solid metal into itty-bitty pieces with her mind. She also seems to be highly protective of the commander.

She is so screwed.

"Why tell me all this?"

Liara just smiles. Her eyes turn a shade of blue that turns Traynor cold all over. "My question first. Why the interest in the commander?"

"Maybe it's not the commander I'm interested in. Maybe it's something else." Traynor shrugs. She has no idea what she's talking about. She's too thrown off by the idea that Shepard and Dr. T'Soni used to date. Does that mean the commander is into asari? They look close enough to human women that Traynor might still have a shot, she thinks...

"Like what?"

"Like...someone else." Traynor gazes at Liara. She manages not to look away. Neither does Liara. Seconds stretch into a minute. The specialist fidgets. Why doesn't T'Soni look away? Is she trying to scare Traynor into confessing that she is actually after the commander? Because it is totally working. Traynor would break down right now if it weren't for the fact that it would feel like admitting defeat to something she can't quite name-

"Ladies, I hope you don't mind me dropping into your discussion." Joker limps towards them, a grin across his face.

Liara breaks eye contact and frowns. "EDI," she mutters before she turns to face the pilot.

Traynor is so relieved she can't even articulate the sensation. She has an odd feeling of narrowly avoiding a slip into a well-hidden and vast trap. She thinks it may become a good habit to never work alone at night at the mess hall ever again.

"What? No smiles for me?" Joker comes up to their table.

Liara asks, "Are you off-duty now?"

"Yeah, Stevenson and EDI got it covered until I recharge." At Traynor's surprised look, he continues. "What? I sleep too."

Of course, Joker sleeps. It's not as if Traynor thinks he is always on the bridge-all right, she completely does. To be fair, it does feel like he's always there, no matter what time she goes to see him. Maybe, it's just the pilot's presence...

"So, what were you two discussing?" Joker glances between T'Soni and Traynor. "Is it about amazing Normandy pilots?"

"Please, Joker. We were talking about something serious," replies Liara. Traynor can't tell if she's joking. She and Shepard would probably make a bad comedy duo. Both would be the straight man. Well, not in either any sense of the phrase or its individual words-

Traynor thinks too much. Does she know that? Well, she probably has to because they are her thoughts and-

Stop that.

"More serious than piloting? Was it calibrations?"

Liara rubs the area between her eyes. She looks like she has a headache. "We were talking about the commander."

"Oh, right. The 'commander'." Joker winks at Traynor. She stares at him, stupefied. What exactly does he think that word is code for?

"And how's that going?" he asks Liara.

"Fine. Did you come down here with a purpose?"

"What? A guy can't come down and talk with some of his ship mates without an ulterior motive?" He limps over to the small kitchen counter. He pulls open a drawer and picks up a meal replacement bar. "All right, I was hungry too, but go on with your discussion. Don't mind me." Joker bites into it. "Oh, hey. Raisins."

Liara sighs. She sounds frustrated. "Did EDI send you?"

Joker's brows scrunch together. "No, although she did suggest that I actually get this meal replacement thingy if I was going to keep on talking about it."

"When?" Liara asks.

"A few minutes ago."

From the hard set of T'Soni eyes, the specialist can tell she doesn't believe that's a coincidence. Neither does Traynor, and she silently sends a prayer of thanks to EDI. She also takes back all the curses she mentally lobbed the AI's way earlier. There are, unfortunately, quite a bit of them.

"I see. And here I thought you just naturally have bad timing."

"Why? Was something juicy being discussed?"

"No. We were just finished." Liara stands up to leave. "Thank you for the talk, Traynor. It proved quite stimulating."

"I bet it was." Joker looks from face to face, grinning. His smile slips off when he realizes the two females are not laughing. "You're talking about Shepard, and you're not laughing? Something is wrong here."

Joker scratches his beard in thought before something seems to hit him. He leans back casually against the counter. "Were you giving poor Samantha here the don't-mess-with-Shepard speech?"

Liara stiffens. "That's none of your business, Joker." Her tone is curt.

"You don't have to worry about her going after the commander."

Liara looks at him. "I beg to differ. Why else would she ask so much about her?"

"Maybe it was just misdirection. Maybe she meant to look into something else."

No...Traynor is pretty sure she meant to look into Shepard's history.

So is T'Soni. The asari looks puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't tell you haven't notice how much she stares when you guys come back from a mission?"

Liara's face hardens. "At Shepard."

"At who's with Shepard." At Liara's confused expression, Joker elaborates. "C'mon, think about it. Someone pretty. Someone smart. Someone womanly."

"EDI?"

"No! Jesus, Liara. It's just like the first Normandy all over again." Joker shakes his head. Liara looks completely bewildered. So does Traynor. She has no idea what Joker is talking about.

"Okay, I'll give you a big hint then." He glances at the specialist. "Sorry, but you'll thank me later when you're finally hooking up."

Oh, no. What is he-

"Traynor's not into Shepard. She's into asari."

The mess hall is silent as they try to absorb the pilot's words. Traynor is the first to do so.

WHAT?

"What?" T'Soni is so startled that she forgets to be intimidating. She stares with such wide eyes at the specialist that Traynor would almost think the expression is cute if she isn't so busy being mortified. Liara's lips move silently, mouthing something that looks like "someone else". Traynor feels like Joker just tossed her out the airlock.

"Yeah, she kept prodding me on the bridge earlier trying to find out more information about a certain one." He turns to wink at Traynor. The specialist feels a strong urge to punch him in the face. Funny, she had never wanted to hit someone before she met the flight lieutenant.

Where did Joker even draw that conclusion? It's not as if she's ever mentioned an interest in-oh, my god. He still thinks EDI's joke wasn't a joke.

"That's ridiculous, Joker. I'm not interested in any asari," Traynor quickly says.

"Why not? You don't think they're pretty?" Joker asks.

T'Soni's eyes narrow at the statement.

Oh, crap.

"Of course, I do! I think they're gorgeous, elegant, capable, with amazing eyes and intelligence, fantastic bodies, devastating looks-"

It really does sound like she's into them. This is probably going badly.

"-but I'm not interested in them that way. I just think they're a very beautiful race."

"I see." Liara crosses her arms. She tries to appear stern, but she ends up looking uncertain instead. "And all this data hunting about Shepard?

Traynor is about to reply when Joker cuts in.

"Hello? You're an information broker. What better way to find out info without people knowing than misleading them?"

Liara runs her hand over her crest in thought. "I suppose."

"Just for the record. Joker is a fibbing pervert. I don't like asari that way," Traynor adds.

"Hey! That's not what your collection of Vaenia says."

Oh, shut up already.

Liara gazes at the specialist. "I need some time to absorb this information. Perhaps, we can talk again later." She moves to leave.

Without thinking, Traynor steps right in front of her. "Liara, please believe me when I say I am not, at any moment, attracted to-"

Liara looks at the specialist, and her expression is slightly panicked. Traynor realizes that they are very, very close. Far too close.

She steps back. "I apologize. I just wanted to make sure-"

"I understand. I am just uncertain about what to say. I am not-" Liara breaks away, looking confused. Her broker mask has slipped off. She looks young and flustered. She looks real for the first time this evening. "Good night, Specialist Traynor."

Liara steps back into her cabin before the specialist can say another word in her defense. Traynor doesn't have the words to describe how mortified she is. She would almost have preferred it if T'Soni flayed her alive instead.

Joker hobbles up to her. He jabs her in the side with his elbow slyly. "Oh, man. Liara, huh? Can't blame you for trying there."

He looks baffled at Traynor's glare.

"What? Was it something I said?"


Author's Endnotes: Again, all comments and criticism welcome. I'll try to update one more over the next two weeks, but again, dependent on my work schedule. Have a good one.