Behold, the final ghost and the final chapter of this tale!
Chapter 4: The Ghost of Christmas Future
Ratchet shivered, the cold biting at him as he paced from side to side, no sign of life remaining on the plateau, only trees that were long withered and dead, and most importantly of all, there was no Qwark and not even the man's ridiculous depiction of an alternate Lombax. Now he truly was alone, the kind of alone his friends claimed he would have had without them, even if he didn't believe it. He called out for them, Clank or even Qwark, pleading for them to appear to him again, as they had before, but they did not, and he could only hope this dream would end before it progressed any further into the nightmare it was becoming.
He spun around, eyes growing wide, a white puff of breath escaping him, as he spotted a tall figure, cloaked in black, with nothing but two glowing red eyes to signify a face was indeed under there. The form moved towards him, cloak billowing unnaturally with the movement, not unlike the dark clouds that hung above.
"Who are you?" he said, and the shape stopped, looking down at him, and Ratchet tried to keep his teeth from chattering in the cold.
A voice, a low hiss, escaped the specter before him, only setting the Lombax's heart pounding harder than ever. "Greetings, Ratchet. We meet at last. I…" The voice stopped, and Ratchet blinked at the figure in the cloak, whose voice began to rise, becoming one more familiar. "I can hardly see out of this stupid thing!"
Ratchet flinched as the figure began to fight with their cloak, attempting to free themselves of it, but only getting caught up in it all the more from their struggling.
"How do I get this thing offa me! It's so confining! Lawrence, help me!" And then the figure met with success, revealing the form of Dr. Nefarious himself as he tugged the cloak off, tossing it to the ground and stomping it into the dust before finally settling down, doing a surprising amount of heavy breathing for one lacking lungs, while the components under his glass dome spun wildly.
"Nefarious? You're—"
The robot thrust out a hand, pointing at the Lombax with one metallic claw. "Ratchet, I am the Ghost of Christmas Future, and I am going to annihilate you!"
"Can you do that? I thought this was just a dream."
Nefarious withdrew his arm, hands turning into fists at his sides. "Oh, darn it, you're right!" But, his composure was quick to return, and he clasped his hands together, a wicked grin appearing on his face. "Nevertheless, I do have something for you. Now, Ratchet, do you want to see what really would have happened if things had gone differently?"
Ratchet couldn't help but delay in following Nefarious as he marched towards the edge of the plateau with exaggerated steps, but finally he forced himself forward, where he stopped beside the robot, who was rubbing his hands together, face brimming with pride over what lay before them.
It took a moment for the Lombax to register what he was seeing. While the place bore some resemblance to his old home, with its vast plains and towering plateaus, all other features were foreign to him, the sickly clouds, now likely more due to pollution than to an approaching storm, now that he gave them another look, not to mention the empty landscape, soil that should be vibrant and golden, now dull and grey. The place was dead, even the scant life of his Veldin nowhere to be found. He looked away.
"This is…this is awful! What is this place?" It couldn't be…
"Oh, I think you know very well where we are. This is Veldin, or at least, it was Veldin, before I came here with my Biobliterator."
Ratchet backed away. "No…"
Nefarious turned to him, folding his arms behind him. "What's the matter? This is what you wanted, isn't it?"
"No, this was never what I wanted!"
"No? You didn't want your life to be constantly interrupted by turmoil, not to mention Captain Qwark, and who can blame you? You simply must understand that this," he rose his arms to gesture about them, "is the logical future that would have resulted. So why aren't you happy, Lombax?"
"I didn't mean I wanted this! And…why did it have to go this far? Wasn't there anyone else that could have stopped you?"
Nefarious crossed his arms, one hand to his chin, head tilted in mock contemplation. "Let's see… Nope, I don't believe there was."
"But, why couldn't Qwark have stopped you? He's done it before!"
The robot barked out a single laugh. "Oh, you're too funny. Yes, I'll admit that Captain Qwark's gotten lucky in the past, but this time, I was ready for him."
Ratchet looked all about him as the light began to dim, like a twilight approaching all too quickly, only their spot on the plateau visible while everything else went to black, like it had ceased to exist, and they and this patch of land were the last things left on this world. And then a dark shape came into view, high above, but he was unable to make out its identity in the now feeble lighting.
Nefarious began a casual walk across the space, explaining along the way, "In case you didn't realize, when you defeated Qwark and stopped that squishie, Drek, all those years ago, the public was none the wiser that their beloved superhero had actually sided with the Blarg just for the money it would make him. But, without you in the picture, this, of course, did not come to pass. Qwark's loyalties came to light as dozens of planets across the Solana Galaxy were destroyed to make the new Blarg homeworld, and his reputation was tarnished."
He reached where the scant lighting began to fade to black, turning on one heel in a most dramatic fashion. "So, when I showed up, Qwark decided to try and redeem himself in the public eye by defeating me just as he had in the past. And do you want to know where it got him?"
Ratchet wasn't sure he did, but without waiting for an answer, the robot grasped a lever nearby, the space revealing itself to be a large room with a tall ceiling, the object above a cage hanging by a chain. With utmost glee, the supervillain pushed the lever down, dropping the cage to the floor to show the prisoner inside, a forlorn Captain Qwark, who jerked his head around at the sudden movement of his prison, holding on to the bars behind him to keep his balance from the jolt the cage had made when it struck the ground, though his eyes did not catch sight of the Lombax in front of him.
Ratchet gasped, even if he already knew what the cage surely held before it had even landed, and ran forward, grabbing the bars of the cage with both hands. "Qwark, I'm sorry…"
The robot cackled. "Now it's really not so bad, is it? If you hadn't met him, it's not like you'd know what fate had befallen him anyway. Plus, he certainly won't be bothering you anytime soon."
Ratchet spun to face him. "Stop using what I said against me! This is horrible! You're…you're…awful!" Ratchet finished, unable to think of a word strong enough to describe the robot and his actions.
Nefarious looked none perturbed by this statement, continuing to grin, receiving no shortage of pleasure from an alternate reality more to his liking. "I know. And I appreciate the feedback. You don't always get that in my line of work."
"So that's it? You were just going to keep him in this cell for the rest of his life?"
The robot began to stroll back in his direction. "No, I let him out sometimes. If he could be the spokesperson for that moron, Drek, then surely he can put in a good word for me to the remaining squishies I haven't converted yet." He stopped nearby. "Plus, I have to free him sometimes to use the bathroom. Otherwise, it would be a real mess."
"Well, what about Clank? I wasn't the only one that stopped all those scumbags in the past." Nefarious raised an eyebrow as Ratchet continued, "He was always there to do half the work. Why couldn't he have done something?"
Nefarious looked off to the side in thought and put a claw to his chin, his voice low. "Oh, yes, the talking backpack. I had almost forgotten about him…."
"Yeah, well, what about him? What happened to Clank?" Though, he wasn't entirely sure if he really wanted to know.
The robot walked away, tapping his chin. "Yes, what did happen to Clank? Well, having failed to stop Drek by himself, he certainly wasn't able to stop me."
"Yeah, and what happened to him?" the Lombax repeated.
It wasn't until now that Ratchet began to take notice of an image starting to form not far from where the robot had stopped, like a small section of scenery that didn't belong in this place, tall reeds and grasses, some kind of marshland, but ghostly, fading away at the edges. And there, amidst it all, was his friend, the small robot dotted with mud, wandering, seemingly lost, but moving with a purpose that spoke of some task that needed to be done and some desperate need to do it.
"Since you decided you'd rather hide away on Veldin, your friend was forced to fill the void you had left. He was able to slow Drek's acquisition of other planets, but was not successful at completely stopping it on his own. And now, he's been doing his best to prevent me from converting anymore planets to my rule." He squatted down to get a closer look at the smaller robot, one arm outstretched, his voice a low growl. "I've been meaning to capture him one day." And his claw tightened on the throat of the ghostly Clank, who had stopped to look at something unseen by the two of them, but with fear in his eyes, and then the entire image turned to smoke and began to drift upwards.
Nefarious stood, and it wasn't long before the smoke bore no resemblance at all to what it just was, though the Lombax continued to watch the space where Clank had just been.
Ratchet's hands began to tighten into fists, his arms shaking. "Why did you have to show me all this? This…this is horrible! Why would anyone even want a future like this? Why would you want to do this to everyone?"
Nefarious began to come towards him, each footstep bringing with it the clang of metal. "Why would you say you wished for a different life when the one you lived prevented such a future?"
"I…I didn't know," Ratchet said, looking up as the robot drew closer.
The supervillain stopped, towering over him. "No, you didn't, did you?"
Ratchet began to back up. "But, I didn't mean it! I would never want things to be this way! If this is how the future really would've been, I'm glad about all the decisions I made! Even if…even if it means spending Christmas with Captain Qwark and…having to put my life on hold to stop you the next time you show up." Ratchet halted in his retreat, standing tall, finally looking the robot in the eye again. "It's worth it, and I'm glad to do it. And I'll keep doing it as long as I have to so I can prevent any other horrible futures."
The robot sighed. "I thought you'd say that."
The blackness around them began to retreat, like a physical thing, until the dead planet was visible again, but it was not so horrible a sight this time, as Ratchet knew it was only part of a future that he had already prevented from happening. And such a thing never would happen because he would never allow it.
He looked over to find Nefarious back at the edge of the plateau, looking out over just one bit of his hypothetical victory with crossed arms. He padded over to stand beside the robot, sly grin on his face.
"So…at least you got to see what could've been for a short time, huh? Not that it helps the real Nefarious any, though."
The robot snorted, eyes narrowing further.
Ratchet looked back at the barren landscape stretching out far below them, his smile disappearing. He really couldn't imagine how anyone could actually want such a thing. He really couldn't imagine how he had actually been able to stop such a thing.
"I sure made a big difference, didn't I?" Ratchet said, his voice soft.
Nefarious shrugged. "For a squishie…"
The Lombax continued to stare out at this, fortunately, failed bleak future, before his grin returned when a certain thought hit him, and he looked back at the robot beside him.
"You know, Nefarious, or, uh…whatever you are, you really could use a visit from these ghosts sometime, you know what I mean? It could prevent some really terrible stuff from happening. And it would save me a lot of trouble, too." He added, "I mean, the real Nefarious could—"
The robot growled, fists going to his sides. "I know what you mean, you twit! And no, I don't need any ridiculous ghosts to visit me! All I need is for you and Clank and Captain Qwark to die so I can have my robotic empire!" He spun to face the Lombax, face much too close. "Do you know what I mean?"
Ratchet backed away, hands up. "Okay, okay, I was just sayin'—"
"I know what you were saying!"
"All right!"
Nefarious straightened, crossing his arms for only a moment more before going into another fit, stomping one foot. "I don't even know how you could be whining about how your life's gone anyway! I'm the one who never gets my way, and you don't see me complaining!"
"You're complaining right now—"
"Only because you started it!"
"All right, I get it, forget I said anything."
The robot returned to staring out across the plain below, arms crossed again, fingers fidgeting in a most threatening manner, and Ratchet decided it would be best to keep his distance, lest he find that death by dreaming was a very real possibility, after all. And now that things had settled down, and there could surely be no more ghosts to visit him this night, it was likely time to leave this dreamscape for the kind of dreams that typically visited him each night. But first, there were a few more things he wanted to find out.
"Uh, Nefarious…ghost…person, are there any other ghosts besides you three?"
"Of course, there are!" The robot turned his head to him. "You didn't think Christmas was the only holiday with ghosts, did you?"
"I honestly wasn't aware that Christmas had any ghosts, actually."
"Typical squishie," the robot said under his breath. "There are plenty of other ghosts, but most of them are boring ones, like the Ghost of Mother's Day Past or the Ghost of That Idiotic Thing You Did the Other Day That Will Come Back to Bite You Later."
"Huh. I did…not know that."
Nefarious grinned. "I'm sure Qwark's had plenty of visits from that last one."
Yep, Ratchet wouldn't doubt that for a second. "And, uh…one more thing…" The Lombax kicked the dust with one foot, hands behind his back. "Uh…Nefarious, I'm not eventually going to go…bald, am I?"
The robot sniggered, looking off into space, likely picturing this very thing. "Oh, yes, that would be funny," he said to himself.
"Well, would I or wouldn't I? I wouldn't, right?"
"No, you're not going to go bald. Didn't you know that Lombaxes don't go bald, you moron?"
Ratchet frowned, ready to defend himself, when the robot continued over him.
"But, I will tell you now, sometime in the future, I won't say when, you'll…" He began to chuckle at the Lombax's future fate.
Ratchet leaned forward. "Yeah? What happens?"
Nefarious began to laugh harder. "You'll…"
"What? What is it, tell me!"
The supervillain's laughter halted in favor of raising one finger skyward in a most dramatic fashion. "You'll…"
Ratchet stared at him and, feeling it needless to repeat the same question yet again, simply gave a shrug that said the same thing.
"You'll burn off one of your eyebrows misusing a Pyrocitor!"
"Oh, that's all?"
Nefarious dropped his arm back to his side. "But, don't you get it? For a good two weeks, you'll look like a complete moron!"
"No, I get it. I'm just relieved I won't go bald."
"Is it time to clean your dome yet, sir? I have the glass cleaner ready. And I promise I won't leave any streaks this time."
Ratchet's head shot to the side. "What, you're here, too?"
"Unfortunately," Lawrence said, before pulling a carton of eggnog out of nowhere. "Eggnog, anyone?"
Nefarious clapped his hands together. "Oh, yes, please!"
Ratchet sat upright from where he had been lying on the couch, panting and sweating and blinking in the bright sunlight of morning, as he wondered what in the galaxy had just gone on last night, and whether or not it really was just a simple dream or possibly something more. Though, at the same time, he also hoped he'd never have to find out.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when a door opened nearby, but all he found was a yawning Captain Qwark with arms stretched over his head, adorned in light blue pajamas decorated with images of himself all over it. The door to Clank's room was already open, signifying the little robot to be up, as well, but currently hidden from sight.
"Brrr, it's freezing in here!" Qwark said, before turning up the thermostat on the wall beside him, holding the up arrow for much longer than Ratchet would have liked, though with some willpower, the Lombax managed to keep his mouth shut. He'd just send Qwark the bill later. This done, the superhero continued, "Man, I slept like a log. What about you, Ratchet?"
More important things on his mind, and no one would believe him anyway if he told them how his night had gone, Ratchet jumped over the back of the couch as Clank approached with a plate of frosted cookies, the Lombax's head going from side to side as he surveyed the apartment for anything out of the ordinary. This was the real thing, right? Nefarious wasn't now going to appear out of nowhere, and he'd be forced to deal with all three of them at once, was he?
"I…" Ratchet dropped to his knees and hugged Clank. "It's good to see you, Clank."
"It is…good to see you, too, Ratchet. I know how you like to have your Christmas cookies in the morning, so I got up extra early and made them."
"Hey, don't leave me out!"
Ratchet found the two of them lifted into the air by Qwark, Clank having to hold the plate of cookies up over his head to avoid them from getting knocked from his grip.
"Isn't this great?" Qwark said, squeezing them tight. "There's nothing like a great, big dude-hug to start the day off right."
"Yeah, that's nice, Qwark. Can you put us down, please?" Ratchet said, voice strained as his lungs were denied the proper amount of air, while his feet dangled high above the floor.
"Oh, all right, but I was just starting to really get into it." The superhero put them down, and Ratchet massaged his aching sides. "Okay, so now we gotta open our presents," Qwark continued, clapping his hands together, "and then we can watch some of my movies! Which one's mine?"
Oh, crap. Ratchet grabbed one of the cookies and took a bite, watching the man as he searched through the gifts under the tree on all fours.
"Which one is it? None of these seem to have my name on it."
"I'm sure it's in there somewhere, Qwark." Ratchet looked over at Clank, shrugging at his friend, who shrugged in return, gestures all gone unnoticed by the man before them, who had currently managed to squeeze most of himself under the tree in his search. Hey, it wasn't his fault. He didn't know the guy was coming. But, now that he thought of it, he supposed it wouldn't be such a bad thing, after all.
Some hours ago, in an undisclosed section of the galaxy, a certain robotic supervillain was getting ready for a good night's rest, not that he needed sleep anymore, but some good relaxation time would be nice after an evening spent terrorizing defenseless squishies. He really should do that more often.
And so Dr. Nefarious snuggled under the blankets of his bed, as unnecessary as they were for someone with no body heat, but it was a comfort he enjoyed during his time as an organic that he hadn't yet been able to bring himself to give up. But, it wasn't long before his solitude was interrupted when he heard a quiet "ahem" from nearby. He growled, one eye popping open to find his robotic butler standing at his bedside, hands folded in front of him.
Nefarious shot up to a sitting position, glaring at Lawrence, though his butler did not so much as flinch. "Get out of my room, Lawrence! I can't sleep with you staring at me like that!"
"I'll try to stare more softly next time, sir."
When the shorter robot made no sign he was leaving, Nefarious asked, "Do you need something Lawrence?"
"Actually, now that you mention it…" Lawrence mimicked clearing his throat. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past."
Nefarious stared at him. What in the universe was he talking about? And why did this all seem strangely familiar…?
And the end. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this story. I had a really fun time writing it. And I ended up learning a few things. Clank is pretty easy to write for, while Nefarious is actually kind of exhausting. And Qwark has definitely got to be the most fun. Anyway, jolly very late Christmas! Be good, or Nefarious may come and bother you in your sleep. Unless you want that. And I wouldn't blame you if you did.
As always, please review and tell me what you think.
