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Chapter 4 - Couch

EPOV

After getting Lily to bed, I had to make my excuses to Bella and head to my room to think. The way she looked at me, licking those lips that I hadn't tasted in years, was not how a friend looks at another friend. And the way my dick twitched at that and at the way her lips wrapped around her eggroll at dinner was not so friendly either. It seemed like she understood my need to escape because she fake-yawned, claiming to be tired, and said she would be getting ready for bed shortly anyway.

It wasn't as if I hadn't been around Bella at all these past several years, and I wasn't blind. She'd always been beautiful. It was just that we were never really alone together. When we saw each other, it was to drop Lily off or pick her up. We would discuss things pertaining to our daughter during those times or over the phone. We talked fairly often and generally knew what was going on in each other's lives, but that was pretty much the extent of our friendship these days.

I knew she'd been seeing a guy named Riley once in a while, but he hadn't met Lily yet, so I didn't think it was anything serious. It was hypocritical of me, but I was glad there wasn't another man thinking he could play Daddy to my daughter.

Kate never really played Mommy to Lily, though. They got along fine, but Kate was always somewhat distant with her. On the weekends when Lily stayed with us, Kate often found reasons to be off doing other things. I never minded much because I cherished my Daddy-daughter time with Lil, and it didn't seem to bother her in the slightest either.

Kate's decision to leave was still weighing heavily on me as I lay in bed. We'd been through a lot together, and it was a shock to see her just give up on us.

I could admit that things had been feeling off between us lately, almost routine in a way, like we were just going through the motions. But I figured it was normal to go through periods like that, especially after having been together for so long. I had no reason to believe we wouldn't get through it.

I closed my eyes and tried to put myself in her shoes, and okay, I could admit that it would be uncomfortable for a guy she'd once had sex with to move into our home, but… Bella and I had never said any I-love-yous or anything like that. We both knew at the time that it couldn't go beyond that summer.

It was hard for me to get over Bella, but there was just too much distance between us back then. Getting back together with Kate was something I'd done countless times already, so I settled back into our relationship and did my best to forget about the brunette beauty from camp.

Little did I know…

Nearly six years later, I'd think Kate would be used to the fact that Bella and I were co-parents and friends. Kate and I broke up and got back together a lot in high school and even in the beginning of college, but our break-up before camp that fateful year was our last until now. She'd stayed with me when we found out Bella was pregnant, through the birth, and so on.

Maybe I just finally tested her love too much.

She and Bella were never exactly friends, but Kate had always been civil until today. Bella had always respected Kate's place in my life, and for Kate to accuse her of using Lily to try to come between us seemed ludicrous to me. Bella had never been flirty with me or made any indication that she still had feelings for me. And besides, I was the one who offered to take them both in. How could I tell Bella that Lily could stay but she couldn't? How could I separate our daughter from her mother?

Sighing, I rolled over and grabbed my phone. For the third time that evening, I tried to call Kate. And for the third time, all I got was her voicemail.


At just after 7AM the next morning, my internal alarm clock woke me up as usual. Rolling to the side, I stuck my arm out and found only cold, empty sheets. I cracked one eye open, and everything that had happened the day before came rushing back to my sleep-addled brain. Kate was gone. Lily and Bella were here.

And my morning wood was painful.

I rutted into the mattress a couple of times before forcing myself to get up and get into the shower. I usually ran before my shower, but it was Sunday. My treadmill could go fuck itself.

Leaning my hands on the fancy tile in front of me, I bowed my head under the spray. The hot water felt amazing on the tense muscles in my back and shoulders. Yesterday had pretty much been a clusterfuck, and I needed to relax and clear my head.

A good release would do the trick, if only for a few minutes, so I gripped my still-hard dick and gave it a couple of good strokes. Images of Kate's naked body flooded my mind instantly, and I thought of our last time together. But then I remembered it was kind of methodical, like she just wanted to get it over with, and I knew that was going to be a boner-kill if I didn't move on to something else. My mind flashed briefly to Bella, and though my dick hardened further in my hand, it just felt all kinds of wrong. I'd gotten off to her many times during that summer we were at camp together, but that was in the past…

There was no shortage of hot girls at Camp Wallasatch, but this girl… Bella. She did something to me I couldn't explain. Just looking into her big dark eyes made me sway on my feet.

What the fuck was that about?

And her hot little body in that bikini… Talking about being wet and then basically being spread open on the floor like that right in front of me… A guy could only take so much.

After storming out of Bella's cabin, I went straight to the only private bathroom I knew I could get into with no problem. I could've hammered nails with my dick, and it wasn't going down anytime soon on its own. Our camp groundsman, Lee, didn't care if the guy counselors used the bathroom in his small house on the grounds, as long as we cleaned up after ourselves. He understood that sometimes we needed the privacy not afforded to us by the shared camp bathrooms. I dug my keys out of my pocket and went inside, knowing he was out mowing the softball field.

Under the hot spray of the shower, I hissed in pleasure as soon as I pushed my dick into my fist. Squeezing, I imagined being buried to the hilt in Bella's wet heat, and I had to brace my hand on the tile or risk my knees giving out on me.

Fuck.

This girl was doing a number on me. I'd just met her, and already, she was all I could think about. There wasn't even room for Kate in my head at the moment. We were broken up anyway, for about the millionth time. I had no guilt as I stroked my cock hard to the image of Bella in that little red bikini. Except maybe that I was objectifying her, but… There was no denying I wanted her. Bad.

In my mind, I pulled her up from the floor of her cabin and locked our lips together. She'd sigh, tilting her head so I could kiss her neck as I untied the strings of her top.

I groaned and squeezed the head of my dick as I thought about feeling the weight of her bare tits in my hands, brushing my thumbs over her tight little nipples.

"God. Fuck."

I'd lay her down on her bed and slide my fingers inside her to get her ready, and then I'd wrap her long legs around my hips and push inside as she moaned my name. I'd watch how her gorgeous eyes grew heavy and eventually closed while I thrusted slow and deep until she fell apart in my arms.

My hand mimicked the way I wanted to fuck Bella. It didn't feel right calling it making love, but I definitely wanted to take my time with her. As I imagined the way her face would look and the way her body would tense around mine in her release, I came hard against the plain white tile, a stream of curse words, mixed with her name, leaving my mouth.

Shaking my head at myself, I used my hands to direct some water over to take care of my mess and then shut off the faucet and got out.

This was bad.

We were at camp for about seven weeks, and then we'd be going our separate ways. If she didn't live in or near Seattle, I had to try to stay away from her for the rest of the summer. That was all there was to it. I didn't want to take advantage of her or hurt her in any way.

I didn't know if she felt what I felt, but she definitely seemed nervous around me. I couldn't let her get attached to me. I had a feeling I'd get attached to her too, and we would both probably be better off if I just kept my distance.

Obviously, I hadn't done a very good job at keeping my distance. The evidence of that was sleeping in her room down the hall. But things were different now. I couldn't think of Bella that way anymore without some intense guilt making itself at home in my gut.

Reluctantly, I ended up settling on my celebrity crush and finished myself off with a somewhat satisfied grunt.

My brain was blissfully empty for about a minute after I came, but then reality came crashing back in. With a groan, I shut off the water, stepped out, and dried off, dressing quickly and heading out to the kitchen.

Sunday meant banana nut pancakes for Lily and me. I had a little time before she would wake up, though, and I needed coffee.

Stepping into the living room from the hallway, I froze in place when my eyes landed on the couch.

Bella was lying there asleep, her dark hair spilling all over the place in silky waves and one long bare leg exposed all the way up to the tiniest pair of shorts I'd ever seen. Of course my traitorous dick stirred in my pants, and I squeezed my eyes shut, running a hand through my hair and gripping it at the roots. Blowing out a long breath, I re-opened my eyes and almost whimpered.

I did not think this through.

I should've known she'd end up on the couch. Lily probably kicked her until she couldn't take it anymore.

Even though we'd slept together, we hadn't literally slept together, so I'd never seen her like this, all sleepy-soft and sexy. Maybe that was why I was reacting so strongly, but still... It'd been almost six years since I'd had sex with her.

Sex.

With Bella.

Fuck.

"Daddy?"

A sigh of relief escaped me as all my focus went to my little girl, and my arousal was quickly extinguished.

Lily came down the hall, dressed in her Minnie Mouse pajamas, rubbing one eye and yawning. Her hair was a complete rat's nest, as usual, because of how much she moved around in her sleep, and the familiar sight made me smile.

She really was the light of my life.

I'd never given much thought to having kids before I found out about Lily. I was only nineteen at the time, after all. And scared shitless, I might add.

"Hey, pumpkin. Sleep okay?"

"Yeah. Is it pancake day?"

I chuckled at her. "It is pancake day. Want to go wake up Mommy?" Lily's eyes widened, and an excited gasp left her at the mention of Bella. "Did you forget she was here?"

"Yes," she whispered, stepping around me and tiptoeing toward the couch. "Mommy?" She poked her in the cheek.

"Lily!" I whisper-yelled. "Don't poke her in the face."

Bella didn't move.

"Mommy, wake up." Lily grasped her shoulder and shook her a little. "Mommy." And then harder. "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!"

Jesus, was she dead?

"Mmph." Bella didn't open her eyes. She just buried her face in the pillow and hiked that exposed leg up around the blanket, turning slightly and unintentionally showing off the curve of her ass.

Shiiit.

So Bella slept in minuscule shorts and was hard to wake up. Noted. "Lily, honey, let's let Mommy sleep some more." Stepping closer, I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently steered her away from the couch. "She probably didn't sleep very well last night."

Lily stopped and looked up at me. "But it's pancake day."

"I know. Mommy will wake up when she's ready, okay? Let's get started on those pancakes."

She huffed and glumly said, "All right," before continuing on to the kitchen.

I sat her on the counter and started gathering ingredients. Lily was quiet for a moment, which was unlike her. She was usually a chatterbox while we made our Sunday pancakes.

"Daddy?"

Pausing, I noted the trepidation in her voice. "What is it, sweet girl?"

"Are… Are we going to live here with you forever? Mommy and me? Like a real family?"

My throat went dry instantly, and I found it difficult to swallow. "Uh…" I should've known she'd ask something like that, and I should've been prepared with an answer. But I had no idea what to say. "What did Mommy say about that?"

She looked down at her hands. "Um, she said it would just be for a little while." Looking back at me, she trapped me with those big gorgeous eyes of hers. They were sometimes brown, sometimes green but quite a bit darker than mine and shaped like Bella's. "But can it be forever, Daddy?"

My heart thumped hard for a second, and I realized I was actually picturing it—waking up with those long bare legs tangled with mine and that soft dark hair tickling my face every morning—waking Bella up with kisses down her spine, and when that didn't work, listening to her sweet laugh and husky moans as I kissed… elsewhere.

I'd get to help get Lily ready for school every day and tuck her in every night. We could just… be together. All the time.

I would do anything for my little girl, and I never wanted to disappoint her. But I couldn't make promises like that when they couldn't be kept.

Coming out of my daze and placing my hand over both of hers, I shook my head. "I don't think so, baby girl."

The disappointment that washed over her face seemed to match perfectly with the feeling that invaded my chest with my answer.

They'd only been in my apartment for one night.

I was engaged to Kate.

What the hell was happening to me?


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