"If it's my mind and I'll be coming with you, then why did you preload my comp with skills like these?" Abel wanted to know after Naoya gave him back his comp – he must have got it from Fushimi. Phys Repel, Anti-All and Null Mystic? Abel knew that being an overprotective big brother was Naoya's thing, after the way he'd watched them summon their first demons and then lured them into another battle so he could make sure they were learning properly, but this was a purely defensive setup. Far too defensive for Abel's taste: Drain, Prayer and Shield All? Sure, Abel could do a fair amount of damage with Drain, but unless Naoya had a good reason for this Abel was switching out Shield All for Holy Dance, since Naoya preferred Megidolaon, Atsuro and Izuna weren't magicians and Midori wasn't here to rock-paper-scissors him for it.
Naoya had his glasses on, peering down at the wiring and clearly doing one last check. "Now that you're awake we won't have to worry about your mental defenses attacking us, but there's a part of you that you don't control. Everyone has a part of themselves that they lock away inside their souls: the thoughts they refuse to think, the feelings they refuse to feel, the desires they refuse to acknowledge. I didn't take those 'Shadows' into consideration when I originally designed this system because Jezebel would have already eaten the priestess' Shadow. Lucky for us, Shadows tend to attack their creators when given the chance. So, you and the captain can keep it occupied while Atsuro and I examine the flow of power through your soul."
"So I'll be fighting another part of me?" Abel asked him. Wow, déjà vu.
"You'll probably hear some things about yourself you don't want to hear, but keep in mind that everyone has feelings of hatred, of resentment: even God and his angels have plenty of flaws and pettiness. Your shadow is a part of you, but it's what you refuse to be." Naoya smiled to himself. "And you're already wondering what my shadow is like, aren't you? I faced it a long time ago: I couldn't afford to be divided against myself when they ruthlessly exploit every flaw we possess. The true means of overcoming your shadow is to accept it, since a problem can't be solved, a flaw can't be fixed until you acknowledge that it is there, so you can see this as an opportunity for personal growth, I suppose. Or you could turn up the volume on your headphones to drown it out, either way." He shrugged and took his glasses off, folding the up and hanging them in their usual place. "Now, lie down. You two as well," he said, sitting down himself.
Atsuro settled nervously onto one of the futons. "What will happen to our bodies while we're in there?"
"They'll be empty vessels: that's why I set up this warding circle." Naoya gestured at the diagram he'd drawn around the futons. "You'll still be connected to them, and any wounds incurred there will appear on your bodies. Healing and revival spells cast on you there will also work on your bodies, except."
"Except?" Izuna asked.
"We'll be inside Abel's mind, so if he dies, we all die. In addition to that, there are some things I couldn't program into the system, and I'm the only one with the training to do them. If I die, all of us but Abel will be disconnected from our bodies. In theory, the two of you might be able to find your way back and stay in there long enough for Abel to cast recarm while you're in there, but I get snatched up instantly every time I die outside my body." Naoya grimaced. "We shouldn't encounter any enemies there but Abel's shadow, so if it weren't for the fact I'm another vulnerability and I want to show Atsuro the system in case I die and he needs to do future tech support, I'd have him guard you as well, brother."
"So I'll keep that skill setup, then," Abel decided, tabbing out of there and selecting his demons as he sat cross-legged on the futon. "A vile, I think…" So the Shadow couldn't attack from outside his range that easily. "A wilder to start with, just in case," it was one of the powerful ones with a huge range. "Take avians or genma, you two." To make sure that they could get out of wherever the battle took place.
Naoya just snorted: as though he needed the advice of someone who had only a week's worth of experience fighting demons. He sat cross-legged, the pose reminding them of that adopted by monks who intended to meditate for hours without moving. "When the three of you are ready."
"Wow." Atsuro turned, looking at the meadow that spread out all around them. "It looks kind of like the real world, but…" He could see for miles, and there were no houses, no telephone poles, no signs of human habitation at all. Just grass, rocks, a forest and a single mountain way in the distance.
"What's this?" Abel asked, and that was when Atsuro saw the huge freaking door right behind them, made out of gold and studded with gems and plates of semi-precious stone, with all sorts of fancy carvings on it. So much for this place not having anything made by humans in it.
"The King's Gate," Naoya told him. "Your memories of your previous lives and most of your power are on the other side."
"Wait, if that's Babel, and the server is on the other side, then what happens if we open it?" Atsuro asked, worried, because it sounded like the stuff they needed to look at was on the other side.
"Don't worry: I brought a genma. We can pass through the gate without opening it," Naoya told his student, touching his hand to the warm gold, feeling the power and warmth that radiated from it. "There's no need to look at me so nervously, Atsuro. My brother has made his decision." And that was that.
"So where's the shadow?" Atsuro asked, eyeing the forest and one of the larger rocks. Wait, was that a bloodstain on that rock?
Naoya restrained a sigh. "Well, now that you've given it an invitation, I'm sure it will be here any-" And that was when a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the gate.
"Naoya!" Half a cry of surprise, half an angry demand that whoever had taken Naoya had better return him. Abel ran forward, trying to grab the trailing end of Naoya's robe, but it was already too late.
Blue eyes glared at the gate.
It opened.
"Abel!" Atsuro yelled as his friend ran through it, knowing even as he said it that it was pointless. Abel wasn't going to let Naoya get hurt, especially when Atsuro and Izuna were in danger too unless they got Naoya back.
Telling the part of his mind that was wondering of Naoya had predicted this, had set this up to shut up, Atsuro ran after him. Izuna was already through the gate, trying to grab Abel and pull him back.
A throne room.
Not marble: not a trace of marble (the stone used for altars because it would soak up blood), even though there were so many other kinds of stone here Atsuro had to wonder if the absence was deliberate. The ceiling that arched high overhead was made of cloudy blue glass, with patches of grey and white for clouds and a sun in glory right above the throne, tinting the dais with golden light.
Atsuro was pretty sure the engineering and chemistry here were a little advanced for thousands and thousands of years ago, but if they'd had demons and healing spells who knew how much knowledge had been lost? Well, of course Naoya did, but still.
What had to be the shadow was lounging on the throne, which wasn't a high-backed chair but a chaise lounge instead. One leg was sprawled out, while the other was pulled in so he could brace an elbow on it, resting his chin on that hand. He was dressed just like Abel except for the black cape, which was a little weird. It didn't exactly match the setting, and the headphones weren't quite a crown.
"Don't even think about it," the shadow said dismissively when they were halfway across the room. Abel stopped in his tracks when a knife appeared in the shadow's left hand and his right, already on Naoya's head, grabbed that silver hair to pull his head back. "Naoya is mine. How dare he move out? How dare he pretend that he has a life of his own when his life is mine?"
Naoya didn't move, didn't resist, just knelt there. Atsuro knew instantly that something was wrong. Naoya was always thinking, always observing: his expression was never blank. Those red eyes shouldn't be vacant like this.
"What did you do to him?" Abel demanded.
"What did we do to him, you mean. Didn't he tell you? I am you." The shadow laughed, almost caressing Naoya's throat with the flat of the blade. "Except I'm not a coward. You're too afraid to seize control of your power. You want those meaningless mortals to like you, so you hide from the truth. The truth in our name! We are The Master, the Lord of Lords, King of Kings! Everything and everyone is our property, and you knew it all along! Trying to fit in, trying to be a normal student, to pretend to care about Featherman and idol singers, when all the while I knew that I was superior! That the other children were just that, children, not my equals. Never my equals. That the highest honor they could ever attain was to be my pawn, and hope to advance in my favor! Not that they could ever replace him." Dear, dear Naoya: the hand that had almost torn out some of that hair now caressed his cheek.
He looked down at him dotingly, gloatingly. "My cousin, my dear sweet onii-chan, who would always give me anything I asked for. Do anything I wanted: he'd do his best to push me into doing what was good for me, but it was always up to me, wasn't it? He knew better than to insist, than to tell me no. Naoya always knew his place, by my side, he was supposed to be mine forever and then he moved out! How dare he! I knew he was my property, and I was right! My blood on his hands, my brand in his flesh, in his very soul!"
Abel couldn't help taking a step forward in alarm when the shadow used that knife to slice through the front of Naoya's shirt, but at least there wasn't any blood. Atsuro watched the shadow slowly slide the fabric down off Naoya's shoulders, letting it pool behind him like his fallen robe.
That, over his heart? Was that what the shadow meant by brand? Atsuro hoped that mark wasn't there in the real world: it wasn't there when Naoya took them to the pool that time, but that was before he'd moved out. His parents, or aunt and uncle technically, would have flipped.
"Naoya," the shadow said, stroking Naoya's collarbone with the tip of its index finger. "Qin. See that woman there?" The shadow slid that knife down Naoya's back, placed it into his hands, bent to speak into his ear. "I want her heart, Brother. Make of it an offering to me. Stain your hands with blood in the name of your God, as you did long ago. But unlike Him, I will grant you my love and favor in exchange for doing my will, as you did his that day."
Naoya shuddered, red eyes still unfocused. His hand curled around the hilt of the dagger.
"Don't listen, Naoya," Abel said, glaring daggers of his own at the shadow, as Atsuro noticed finally that its half-lidded eyes were yellow, not a demon's red. "He's not me, just like Belberith wasn't me! You don't need to… You don't need to do anything so that I'll care about you! You're my cousin, Naoya, you're my family!"
"And he was our grandfather," the shadow said, smirking as he stroked Naoya's back. "I am a god, and gods demand obedience." He laughed. "Making that face… What a hypocrite. You know that's why you like Naoya. He'd make you lunches, help you with your homework, stay home from school to attend you when you were sick no matter how much trouble he got in… Any gift we wanted was ours just for the hinting, but it wasn't about the toys, was it? It was the fact he would get them for us. It pleased you, because you knew that was how he should act, wasn't it? How everyone should act. I am a god!" he said, glaring at Izuna and Atsuro, the power and will radiating from him almost enough to make even survivors of the Lockdown take a step back. "Why won't you all kneel?! How dare you try to cage me and my servants?" he demanded of Izuna. "I should have killed you then and there, for daring to point a gun at me, to bear a weapon in the presence of your god and king!"
Standing behind Abel, Atsuro could see him fiddling with his comp behind his back the entire time, pressing buttons to set something up, so he was ready to move when Abel surged forward, his fist hitting the shadow's stomach hard enough to knock him off that throne. Even if Abel mostly used magic since it was more versatile, with the harmonizer up he was still strong enough to bitchslap a god into submission with a cellphone strap.
Or to drop down to kneel on one, jabbing one knee into its stomach, grabbing its collar and ignoring how it tried to reach up to claw at his arms. "Don't think that being a part of me will protect you," Abel said, voice low and dangerous as Atsuro grabbed Naoya's forearm, trying to get that knife away from him until he returned to his senses. "I won't let any piece of me hurt anyone else, never again. Jezebel killed Amane, Belberith accepted the Founder's sacrifice and didn't even care: Hell, God was pleased by my sacrifice, wasn't he? But it wasn't enough for him, he turned right around and was so cruel to my brother, trying to provoke him into giving that bastard some more blood! You're right: I wanted Naoya to stay with me! I could tell he was always so sad under there! I'd ask him to do things for me because that made him happy! He moved out and then, in the Lockdown, he was watching over me but he kept running away! He wouldn't confide in me or let me help him! Sure, I wanted to control him!" Abel told the shadow, angrier than Atsuro had ever seen him.
"Sure I want to be a God, so that I can protect all of my people! I want them to listen to me instead of running off like Midori or doing crazy things like Keisuke, since otherwise they'll get hurt. I wish I was a demon sometimes, so I could just do whatever I wanted and not have to worry about the government or what other people think. You're right: I knew I was different, just like Naoya! Even if I didn't remember, everyone seemed so weak, so fragile. So, so little. I wanted to look after them, like I wanted to look after Naoya. You're not telling me anything I don't already know!" Abel shook him, hard enough Atsuro winced at the crack of that head on the stone floor: if the harmonizer wasn't up, or this wasn't the mental plane or whatever, that would have given someone a concussion.
"Aren't you supposed to be what I can't accept about myself, or something? If even Naoya thought I'd have a hard time hearing what you'd have to say, when he thinks people should just suck it up most of the time… Well, what I can't accept is anyone treating my brother like that! Let him go, already." Or else, the threat punctuated by a punch to the shadow's face. "At least the other Bel demons didn't think they could wear my face, even if all of them had the gall to think they deserved my power when they didn't care at all about what that power was meant to be used for. My brother, my kingd-My family." Abel said, and Naoya's hand finally went slack, letting go of that knife.
His head dropped to lean against Atsuro's shoulder, and Atsuro could only hope the puppet's strings had been cut, suddenly conscious of the warmth of Naoya's bare chest… Not just that: Atsuro could feel the burning heat of that brand even though his jacket. Was it hurting him? Was Naoya in pain because he hadn't killed Izuna yet? Atsuro kept expecting the heat to grow worse, for him to have to push Naoya away from him a little so it didn't start to hurt, but it stayed right at that level even though it should hurt. Instead it was like reaching his hand towards a fire, keeping it there right when it was as hot as he could stand, because the heat felt really good, the way hot springs or lying there in the sun did, the heat soaking into his bones.
That made Atsuro blink his own yellow eyes, look around him again at the throne room, how instead of being built to intimidate, cold and austere, it was like, like the field they'd been in before, huh. A bright summer's day, friezes of people and nature picked out in the colorful stones of the walls. Not scenes of glory or sacrifice, but there a trio of musicians, there a girl scattering grain to feed a pond full of swans.
His people.
What if… The King of Bel really had been Abel? What if that mark on Naoya's chest wasn't a curse or a punishment, like the one the Bible said God put on him, but what if it was something to keep him warm? It wasn't that Naoya was coldhearted, not exactly, Atsuro knew better than that. He definitely knew that Abel wasn't cruel: that was why he hadn't wanted him to become a demon, even though there wasn't anyone else Atsuro would rather trust with that power, especially the government that hunted down 10Bit and Shoji's mentor for trying to find out the truth.
He just hadn't wanted Abel to change. He'd lost his teacher: he hadn't wanted to lose his friend. He'd known that Naoya wasn't normal from the beginning, but Abel? He was Atsuro's first friend his own age, Atsuro's first IRL friend, so maybe he wanted to insist that Abel was a normal person since that meant that Atsuro wasn't totally incompetent at being a normal kid with real friends.
Atsuro hoped Abel hadn't just become his friend out of pity, anyway…
"You are me, just the stuff I refuse to do, like looking down on everyone, like hurting Naoya, so don't think you can…" A sound like shattering glass, and Abel dropped a few inches to the floor as the shadow vanished, turning into power that poured into Abel just like all the Bel demons. "Right," Abel said, sounding more annoyed than anything. "Naoya?"
"He let go of the knife," Atsuro told him, "but I don't think he's okay." Naoya wouldn't be leaning on someone if he was okay. "Naoya?" No, why would Naoya respond to him and say he was alright if he hadn't already told Abel that?
Abel stepped on top of the throne and crouched down instead of walking around it, pretty clearly because of irreverence for it and how it was in his way instead of because he wanted to lounge on the thing. "Well, he can't be dead… Prayer."
"Damn," Atsuro said when nothing happened. "I think that mark has something to do with it."
"Let me see," Abel told him, nudging at Atsuro's shoulder, the one Naoya's head was still leaning on. "Lay him down… up here."
"On the throne?" Atsuro asked.
"The floor's stone," Abel said, as though he hadn't just banged a head just like his own into that stone floor… Although Atsuro guessed that would mean Abel knew it had to be pretty hard stuff, if it wasn't busted by getting hit like that with the harmonizer active.
"Do you have any idea what that means?" Abel asked when they could all see the symbol, Izuna joining them on the dais. He tried snapping his fingers in front of Naoya's face, but all that did was make Naoya blink, slowly, and smile just a little at his brother's antics. He was conscious, but definitely not firing on all cylinders.
Atsuro realized that he'd been hoping Abel would know, even though he should be glad Abel wasn't getting memories like that back. Except, under the circumstances? "No. I learned some Akkadian because it was kind of our thing," a code no one would guess but him and Naoya, "but I don't know what that symbol is."
"Can you look it up after we get out of here?" Abel asked, reaching down to pick up Naoya's robe and fish his comp out of one of his sleeves.
"Yeah, but…"
"It's not like we can figure out what's wrong without Naoya. I mean, I don't see anything that looks like electrical wires or pipelines or anything, do you?" Abel asked, waving at the room, most of his attention focused on the comp. "It might not be visible out there, so try and remember what it looks like."
"Wait, what if we can't fix it out there?"
"Well, we can't stay here," Abel said reasonably. "If he's the reason you two can be here safely, and if he dies you'll die, then it's not safe. Don't worry, Atsuro. You'll figure something out." Without giving them another chance to object, Abel just went ahead and hit the A button.
If anyone thinks that Kazuya overcame his shadow too easily, this was because Kazuya is an old soul. All the people we see with shadows in P4 are teenagers – of course they don't know themselves very well yet.
There's the saying about how you can't know if you love someone or not until you've lived with them for seven years: it takes time to get to know people. Even though Kazuya doesn't consciously remember, he's been himself for so long that his Shadow was barely a shadow of a shadow – there's very little that he can't bear to face, and really, he already knew that stuff about himself. The shadow was what he was rejecting, but none of what it said was a shock, none of what it said was unknown or jarring to him. He already knew he had those character flaws and was working to overcome them.
Naoya had more trouble with his shadow, but that was millennia ago, not to mention that Naoya has issues. It's even part of his official bio on Amane's route.
