Chapter 4
Disclaimer: Still Own Not A Damn Thing.
The server approached the table and took out her pen and order book from her long black apron.
"Are you two beautiful ladies ready to order?" she said, smiling to them both.
"I'm not sure." Jane said, leaning into the table, catching the doctor's eyes. "Are we?"
Maura looked up at the server. "Can you give us a minute"
The waitress smiled and walked away, nodding to Jane.
Maura looked down at her hands, which she had moved into her lap.
"I'll answer any questions that you have to ask me, Maura." Jane implored. She leaned forward and placed her hands on the table, palms up. "Honestly. Just ask me. But you need to eat something."
"What about you? Aren't you eating?" Maura asked, feeling the urge to place her hands into Jane's again.
"I don't really eat that often." Jane replied, smiling at Maura, who was looking at the detective's hands on the table. She leaned in closer to the doctor, whispering, "You can hold my hands if you want. I won't mind. In fact, I like it. Holding your hands, I mean"
Maura shook her head. "I don't know why I feel this urge to do that. I just met you today, and I can't seem to keep my mind off of you." She looked into Jane's eyes. "Why is that? Don't take offense to this, but I'm not a lesbian. Not that I would be adverse to being with a woman, I just have never been attracted to one…until you."
Jane closed her hands and slowly moved them to the edge of the table in front of her. She realized that she was going to not only have to make Maura believe in what she was, but also change her belief that she couldn't be attracted to Jane because of her gender.
"Maura,I am a lesbian. And you are attracted to me because you can't help it. You don't know why, but that is something that I'll explain later. It has to do with you being the only one that can smell my scent." Jane tried to soothe the blonde's fears that she was not having some sort of mental episode. Jane realized that Maura was a very analytical person and that she needed to be led into this new territory slowly. Otherwise, she risked Maura completely shutting her mind off to what Jane needed her to understand.
Maura gazed into Jane's eyes, feeling that calmness again. "But why can't I help it, Jane? Are you telling me I have no say in this matter? That I can't not be attracted to you?"
Jane took a deep breath. This was going to be a long night, but a night that she had been waiting on for many, many years.
"I tell you what." Jane smiled at Maura, putting her elbow up on the table and propping her head in her hand. "You eat something and I'll talk while you eat, okay?"
"I won't eat unless you do as well." Maura decided that she needed a little power in this conversation. Jane seemed to have all the cards and Maura didn't like feeling useless.
Jane laughed at Maura's attempt to gain control of the situation. "Okay. I'll eat." She agreed.
"And what did you mean when you said you don't eat that often. It's not good to put stress on your body without the proper nutrition, you know?" Maura smiled.
Jane signaled the waitress, who promptly walked over. They ordered and returned to the conversation after she left.
"I don't need the proper nutrition, Maura. My body doesn't need the vitamins and minerals that food provides. And my body doesn't break down or digest food like yours does." Jane explained. "I can eat food, but I do it because I remember how good it tastes, how it feels in my mouth. And I love the way humans use food as a kind of ritual. People meet over food, talking and sharing their lives over it. They laugh and cry over it. It's so much more than just sustenance."
Maura smiled as Jane talked about her experiences with food. Then she asked seriously, "Where do you get your nutrition from, Jane? If you don't get it from food, then where?"
Jane knew that this question was coming. But it still took her aback a bit. She never liked discussing her feeding habits. She wasn't embarrassed or disgusted by what she had to do to stay alive, but she found that most people were. And she knew that this was probably the biggest hurdle that Maura would have to get over in order for them to move on in their relationship.
Just then the food arrived and Jane made herself busy with preparing it for her consumption. She really liked salt so she dashed some on her plate. Maura sat watching Jane intently.
"Jane." She said, seriously. "You haven't answered my question."
Jane looked up at Maura. "Why don't we eat first and then after, I'll explain everything. I promise." Jane knew that discussing her feeding habits might put Maura off her food, so she tried to change the subject.
Maura reluctantly agreed. They ate in almost silence, both thinking about the conversation that they'd just shared and also the conversation that was to come. Finally, Jane spoke to break the tension.
"It's good." Jane said, after swallowing a mouthful of quiche.
"Yes, it is." Maura smiled.
"What?" Jane asked, her eyes glinting at Maura.
Maura shook her head. "You just didn't strike me as a quiche person." She laughed.
Jane joined her. "What does a quiche person look like?"
Maura sipped her wine. "Not you."
"Should I be offended by that comment?" Jane asked coyly.
"Not at all. I just meant that a powerful, well respected, decorated detective in the Boston Police Department such as yourself doesn't exude the quiche persona." Maura smiled, picking up on Jane's attempt at flirting with her. She flirted back, still not knowing why she was doing it. But as she looked across the table at the beautiful dark haired woman, she could feel herself becoming aroused. She liked it.
Jane sipped her own wine. "Well, I'm glad I could break down a stereotype for you."
"I have a feeling that you are going to do that a lot for me tonight." Maura said, feeling the urge to reach across the table and take Jane's hand again.
Jane stared into the doctor's deeply mesmerizing now mostly green eyes. "I'll do whatever you ask me to do, Maura."
Maura blushed at the double entendre. But she played right along. "You'd be surprised at the things I might ask you to do, Det. Rizzoli."
Jane put her fork down on her plate, leaning over the table, staring intently into those eyes. "I love surprises, Dr. Isles." She said, challenging Maura to keep up the game.
The server walked over at just that time and broke the mood. They relinquished their plates and Jane ordered another bottle of wine.
They sat in silence again, staring at each other over the table, waiting for the wine to be served.
Finally, Maura spoke. "So we've eaten. Are you going to explain now?"
Jane took a deep breath before beginning. "Yes, I'll tell you everything. And then you'll tell me your decision, okay?" She reached across the table and touched Maura's face gently. "But please promise me you'll think about what you've heard before you just bolt out the door." Jane said the last sentence as her eyes filled with tears. "I've been waiting for you for such a long time."
Maura sensed the seriousness in Jane's statement and saw the tears. "I promise." She whispered.
"Okay. Here goes." Jane began. "Maura, you are attracted to me because you and I are bonded together. It is a phenomenon that occurs very rarely for me. It happens only when the timing is perfect for both me, and the one I will bond with. It is a chemical and a natural occurrence. I don't know when it will happen or who it will happen with. And, as I said, the timing has to be just right. If we meet too early in life, the bond will not take. The same, if we meet too late. And if the bond doesn't happen, I cannot bond again until the chosen one dies. I bond to only one woman at a time. I can't bond with anyone else, even if I wanted to." Jane paused to assess Maura's reaction to this information.
"Go on." The doctor said, quietly.
"You see, Maura. I don't chose. You do. It's your body chemistry and your soul, if you will, that reaches out to me. Not the other way around. So we are bonded because of you. I wait until that person chooses me. You are that person." Jane waited for Maura to show any sign of rejection.
"So what you are telling me is that somehow, I reached out to you. And I didn't even know that I was doing it?" Maura said, titling her head.
Jane nodded.
"That's why I can't stop thinking about you now? Because we've somehow, created this unnatural bond with one another?" Maura said.
Jane grimaced at the word 'unnatural'. "It's not unnatural to me, Maura. It's the most natural thing in the world for my kind."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." Maura apologized. "So what if I reject this 'bond'? What happens then?" she asked.
Jane didn't like where this was heading. There was a lot at stake for her. She'd been alone too long. "I have the ability to erase your memory. Or push you into forgetting about the bond. But I won't forget. I'll know that we are meant to be together for as long as you live. And I'll know that you didn't want me." Jane said this, tears once again threatening to spill down her cheeks.
"Oh God, Jane! That's horrible." Maura said, leaning across the table and reaching for Jane's hand.
Jane didn't take it right away. "I don't want you to go through with this because you feel sorry for me. I want you to do it because, deep down, you know that we are meant to be together. And yes, even though we just met today. Do you believe in love at first sight, Maura?"
Maura still held her hand out to Jane. "I didn't…before today." She said quietly. Jane looked up into Maura's eyes again.
Jane then looked down at Maura's outstretched hand and slowly slid hers into it.
Maura squeezed it. "Is that why only I can smell your special scent?"
Jane nodded. "It's to help with the bonding process. And so we can always identify each other. A comfort mechanism, I guess. Do you feel comforted when you smell it?"
Maura picked up the little white card again. She smelled it. "I've felt comforted all day just smelling this card. I can't imagine how it will feel to be able to smell that scent coming directly from its source forever. Do I have a smell? To you, I mean?"
Jane lifted Maura's hand to her nose. "I smelled it the moment you got out of your car today. I've been sitting here all night enjoying it. My sense of smell is very keen."
"And if I choose to accept this bond, and that means accepting you into my life, as my chosen one, what happens next?" Maura asked, her fingers running over the back of Jane's hand, across her knuckles. She felt a tingle in her fingertips and one running down her spine. She shivered.
Jane saw this and she smiled. "Then we will get to know one another. And slowly the bond will strengthen. Eventually, it will become unbreakable. And you will be mine and I will be yours. And we will not want to be with anyone else. Even if we tried, we wouldn't be able to leave one another."
"What if we don't get along? What if somehow, we can't be together? What then?" Maura asked, trying to be the devil's advocate.
Jane got very serious. "We will fall in love, Maura. You don't know it yet, but we are already in love. We wouldn't be bonding at all if everything between us wasn't already perfect. Let yourself feel this. I know you are a skeptic when it comes to things that you cannot see or touch. But this cannot be questioned, Maura. If you accept me, you and I will be together for life. I've already accepted you. You know that you have feelings for me, don't you, Maura?"
Maura looked down at their hands intertwined. She had to admit to herself that she had never gotten this attached to someone so quickly. She had never held someone's hand after knowing them for only a few short hours. And she had never felt this way towards someone before. She looked back into Jane's eyes.
"Yes, I do." She smiled. "I'm scared."
Jane got up from her side of the booth and slid in next to Maura. "Don't be. I know it's hard for you to understand. So don't try. Let it happen. It's much easier that way."
Maura could feel the heat radiating off of Jane's body. She suddenly felt the calmness again. She turned to face Jane. "I can't believe that I'm about to say this, but…I really just want to kiss you right now." She looked down at her lap, blushing furiously.
Jane turned Maura's face towards her. They sat looking at each other for a moment, Jane's smoldering dark eyes holding Maura's light hazel green. Maura took a deep breath through her nose, smelling that intoxicating scent that exuded from Jane's body.
"You are so beautiful, Maura." Jane whispered.
Maura smiled, still blushing. "So are you."
"Then kiss me." Jane said, tracing the line of the doctor's jaw with her thumb.
Maura leaned in and softly brushed her lips over Jane's. Jane returned the kiss, allowing Maura to lead. Maura felt her body become electric with the touch of the detective's lips against her own. It ignited something deep within her. She snaked her tongue out gently and pressed it to Jane's mouth. The brunette opened her mouth and allowed Maura's tongue inside. The doctor's breathing increased as her level of arousal ratcheted up a notch. She ran her fingers into Jane's raven silky hair and held her head as they kissed. Jane could feel the blood rushing through Maura's body and it excited her. She sucked on Maura's tongue greedily, pulling the blonde's body close to her own. Maura moaned, then heard herself and broke the kiss.
"I'm sorry." She said, breathlessly. "I don't know what made me react like that. I don't normally get this excited in public." She looked around to see if anyone was watching them, embarrassed.
Jane smiled as she looked at Maura, taking her hands under the table into her lap. She held them firmly. "I told you Maura, no one will remember seeing us tonight."
Maura looked back at Jane, still breathing heavily. "How is that possible?"
Jane knew that now was the time to say the thing that she dreaded telling Maura the most, but something that the doctor had to know and accept before they could move on with their lives together. Hiding it was not an option.
"You've done so well with all of this new and scary information, Maura. Just hang in there with me a little while longer, okay?" Jane said, leaning in and kissing Maura again gently. Maura let herself be kissed, feeling the bond begin to take hold. She didn't want anyone else to ever kiss her again. Only Jane.
Maura nodded as Jane kissed her. "Okay."
Jane broke the kiss and held Maura's face between her hands, swallowing hard. "You trust me, right? You know that I would never lie to you, don't you? And I would never do anything to hurt you, right?"
Maura nodded again.
"Okay, Maura. This is my secret. If I tell you and you can't accept it, ask me to push you. And all this will have never happened." Jane teared up again at the thought of possibly losing her life mate. But she knew it was necessary. She had to tell her. "Maura…I'm a vampire."
Well, there it is. Now you know. Thanks to all who have given me words of encouragement. I love the response my story has gotten. More to come soon!
