Happy Wednesday! Thanks for all the pimps, reviews, alerts and favorites. I appreciate the support more than you know.
Sorry if you received two chapter notifications last week, as I only posted one. Fanfic was being a pain. If all goes well I'm going to try for Wednesday/Saturday updates.
As always, thanks to Rachel, Nicole and Kyla. You ladies give me the drive to keep writing.
A lot of you had very strong opinions about our beloved Kate after the last chapter. It's fun to write her! Let's see what her and Edward are up to.
Chapter Four
Edward
A few days after we get back from Forks, I'm sitting in our apartment, alone, while Kate is at the library studying for a final. I recall both of the conversations I had with my parents, and my mom's words keep replaying over and over in my head, find your forever. Kate is my forever, right? Why the hell am I am questioning myself all of a sudden? I swear my head has been jumbled since that day in the bakery, nope not thinking about her. Focus here, Edward. Kate ... proposal. Right, the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just need to officially ask her to be mine.
With graduation fast approaching, I come up with a plan. I decide to propose to Kate in the same auditorium where we met. I enlist the help of Alice, Jasper and Emmett, and plan an elaborate candlelight dinner for two.
It's a beautiful evening, and Kate's engagement ring is tucked in my jacket pocket. After we've enjoyed a nice dinner, summoning all my courage, I get down on one knee and ask her to be my wife. Her answer is one word, an enthusiastic "Yes."
I smile at her response and place the delicate, yet beautiful ring on her finger. I kiss her softly then drive us back to our apartment where we make love for the first time as an engaged couple.
Kate
I am going to be Kate Masen.
Mrs. Edward Masen.
Dr. and Mrs. Edward Masen.
Take that Tanya! She never believed I would get the Edward Masen to notice me, let alone to propose to me. There is a part of me that wonders if she is jealous? Ehh, it doesn't matter, I am finally going to have the life I am entitled to.
Living in Tanya's shadow has never been easy; she was always the favorite in the family. So when my parents died, I thought things would be better. However, I couldn't have been more wrong. There were no bank accounts, no life insurance policies ... nothing but a pile of debt. We were left with little more than bitter memories and our empty wallets.
Surprisingly enough, Tanya and I have managed to stay pretty close. We were forced to cling to each other to get through the bad times. Luckily, we both received scholarships for UW, otherwise who knows where we would be ... probably stuck working at the local Wal-Mart. We were determined to get out from the clusterfuck our parents left us with.
Marrying Edward can only help in furthering my cause. He is well on his way to becoming a doctor and his parents come from money. Edward Sr. is a high profile defense attorney, as was his father before him. Elizabeth, a former interior design consultant, is his beautiful trophy wife. At least that's the way I see it. With the exception of that one small glitch while we were in Forks, sucking up to Edward's parents has been relatively easy. It amazes me how a little charm can go such a long way.
Despite my protests and whining, Edward has insisted that we have a small, intimate wedding in Forks. Since the momentum of our lives won't be letting up anytime soon, he feels this is our best option. Otherwise, we would have to postpone the wedding indefinitely, and that simply isn't happening. Edward's clinical rotations at the University of Washington Medical Center have already started and my master's program will be in full force within nine weeks.
Alice, in full wedding planner mode, manages to plan our wedding in six weeks. She is not only my wedding planner, but also a bridesmaid.
July 11th finds me in Forks, under a cover of clouds and rain, as I take Edward's hands in mine, and then, I take his last name. Thanks to Alice and Elizabeth, the service is both simple and elegant, and even though the weather is uncooperative, the wedding is lovely. I may not have been able to have my dream wedding, but my wedding dress is the one thing I refused to compromise on.
It's a cream gown made with imported Irish lace, with an empire waist and finished with cap sleeves. It is slim fitted through the bust, waist and hips and has a very exaggerated mermaid silhouette that poufs out just below the knee. There is a dusty pink velvet sash at the waist, with a formed bow at the back. The train is just past chapel-length and the bustle is layer upon layer of lace attached with another bow.
Alice had begged me to choose another design, mumbling something about my dress being too much for a simple ceremony, but I wouldn't hear of it. She gave me quite the attitude until I gave her and Tanya free reign with their maid of honor and bridesmaid dresses. They chose a simple, full length v-neck matte satin dress in dusty rose, with a pleated empire waistband.
Edward is wearing a classic, single breasted black tuxedo by Calvin Klein with a black vest, white dress shirt and black bow tie. Truth be told, he is the epitome of the perfect groom. He is damn easy on the eyes, and I look good on his arm. Jasper and Emmett, his best man and groomsmen are dressed in black suits with white dress shirts, dusty rose colored vests and black bow ties.
After a small reception at the golf course, we leave to "mini moon" for the weekend at The Tower House Bed and Breakfast in Friday Harbor, Washington. The trip is a wedding gift from Tanya, Alice, Jasper and Emmett. The B&B is beautiful, with Queen Anne style accommodations, a secluded beach, hiking trails and a spectacular view of the San Juan Valley. We even see a mother fox and her cubs frolicking just off the roadside while driving to the B&B. It isn't anywhere near the honeymoon I had anticipated, but since Edward couldn't get more time off from the hospital, I bite my tongue and make the best of it.
We are married, we are one.
Edward
This is it, the moment I have been anticipating for months.
Kate is standing at the end of the aisle, she is truly a vision.
Tanya places a bouquet of pink roses in her hands.
Alice fluffs the back of her train and it falls neatly behind her.
Our guests rise as the traditional wedding march begins.
Tanya and Alice take turns walking down the aisle and then take their places next to Jasper and Emmett.
Kate begins to walk; all eyes are on her, as they should be.
My bride is in her full glory.
I look briefly to my parents standing in the front row. Dad is turned toward Kate as she passes each aisle, a perfect smile on her face. My mom's eyes, however, are focused on me, and I see nothing but disappointment reflected in them. I feel a slight wave of panic at this; surely I must be misreading her?
The moment passes quickly as Kate gets nearer. When she reaches me, I take her hands in mine and we turn to each other. The music fades and the ceremony begins. When it's time for us to speak our vows, Kate repeats them without hesitation. I'm feeling immensely proud, and when it's time for my vows I squeeze her hands lightly and pledge my troth. We kiss, sealing our unity and love. We are officially Mr. and Mrs. Edward Masen, and I can't wait for this chapter in our life to unfold.
Our reception at the golf course is small but elegant. Ali, mom and Kate have planned every detail to perfection. The hall is striking, draped in pink roses and twinkling lights.
As we make our way to the dance floor for our first dance, I am overwhelmed. I see the faces of our family and friends and I feel their love all around us. When the music starts I smile, looking over to my best man. Jasper gives me a nod, smiling back. The song playing is the very same song the band played the night Kate and I shared our first dance. I twirl my wife and draw her back into my arms, the flashes from the many cameras capturing every moment.
I feel a tap on my shoulder. "May I cut in?"
"Mom, of course. Kate honey, do you mind?"
"Of course not, Eddie," she says as she kisses my cheek and turns to leave. "I'll go find Tanya; I need to freshen up anyway. He is all yours, mom." Mom looks a bit surprised by Kate's term of endearment.
The familiar strain of Celine Dion's Because You Loved Me begins and mom and I begin to sway to the music.
"Are you happy, dearest?"
"Yes mom, today has been great. Thank you for everything, dad too."
"Oh Edward, there is no need to thank us. You know we would do anything for you."
"I do. You seemed, I dunno, distracted today at the church. Is everything okay?" She looks into my eyes; I notice she is struggling with the right words to say. "Just say it mom."
"Your father and I, we are concerned son. We can't exactly pinpoint why we feel this way, but we both feel something is off with Kate."
She is choosing now to bring this up? "Such as?"
"Does she have the best intentions for marrying you, Edward? She wouldn't even hear of signing the pre nup. What kind of woman would fuss about that?"
I feel my blood pressure slowly starting to rise. This is my wedding reception for fuck's sake. "Mom, this is neither the..."
"I'll tell you, Edward, the kind of woman that does that is the type that will try and take you for everything you have. You will get hurt."
I can't hear one more word of this, this has to stop now. "Really mom, you misunderstood all of that, and frankly it's a little late to be bringing this up. I already went through this with dad months ago. It's a moot point now. We. Are. Married. End of discussion."
As the music ends, I embrace her coldly, and then leave her standing on the dance floor. I need to find my wife. What a fitting way to end what could have been a special dance between us.
The hot water feels good on my tense muscles. As I stand under the spray, reflecting on my wedding day, I can't help but to feel a bit let down. The day was perfect up until my mom shocked me with her little assessment of my wife's intentions, leaving me no choice but to react. What kind of man would I be if I hadn't defended Kate? Perhaps walking away from my mom wasn't the best decision, but I had few options at the time. Of course, mentioning this to Kate is out of the question altogether. Great, I'm basically starting my marriage off with a lie.
I shut the water off and shake my head to try and clear my muddled thoughts. Let it go Edward, this is your wedding night. Your bride is waiting for you.
I quickly dry off, wrap the towel around my waist and take a quick look in the mirror. You will make this a night to remember, you will honor her. I open the bathroom door and thus the next chapter of our story.
"Kate."
Kate
Standing in front of the full length mirror in our suite I see the illusion of a perfect bride on her wedding night. Her trousseau is stunning. She is wearing a white lacy negligee with little kitten heel slippers. Her hair is hanging in waves down her back; her lipstick is a soft peach. The woman looking back at me appears to be anticipating the touch of her lover, her new husband. Her face is flushed, her pupils are dilated.
But this woman is not me. This woman is neither excited nor aroused, she is merely numb. She doesn't want to be made love to, kissed passionately or even worshiped by her husband's hands. She just wants to have the obligatory sex, fake her enjoyment and then go to sleep without all the intimacy that goes along with it.
I hear Edward getting into the shower, god he looked so happy today. The look on his face as he carried me across the threshold was priceless. This night will mean so much more to him then it will to me. I will be the only thought on his mind. He wants to be emotionally and physically connected to his new bride. For a moment I feel guilty. Guilty that I may never love him as he loves me. Guilty that he may get hurt in the long run.
Several minutes later I hear the water shut off and look over in his direction just as the bathroom door opens. I hear his voice quietly call my name. "Kate."
I turn to face him with a smile that I force myself to make.
He is standing there in the doorway, a towel wrapped low on his hips, water dripping from his hair and running down his chest.
He walks slowly towards me and pulls me into his arms, his lips crushing mine. As his kiss gets more passionate I know there is no use.
I close my eyes so he can't look into them.
I surrender to him but I remain detached.
I shut my emotions down so that I feel nothing towards this man, my husband.
My responses and reactions are calculated.
He declares his love to me as he reaches his climax, and my heart freezes a bit more.
**Ducking behind my couch** Are you still with me? See you soon.
Judy
XO
