I'm not saying I expected this that's for sure. But, wow. Things really went down hill in this place. Hell, what am I saying, parallel universe or not this is still USA, and over my rotting corpse would I let it fall to ruin. From what I could see, it was pretty ruined. The emergency exit hatch used to be covered by trees, shrouded and secure from any unwanted attention. Now, it was covered in sand and laid bare for every junkie with one eye to see. As I looked across the expanse before me, I couldn't help but wonder, could my own government in my own universe be capable of such stupidity like this. Well, I'm not going to answer that. I still felt a pang of guilt that this happened, I am part, well I guess not now, of the US armed forces and they caused this mess. I guess the Mexican and Canadians that worked in the SGC were pretty angry that ol' uncle Sam decided to annex their homelands. Carter told me that McKay was not too happy about that. But that makes me wonder, could he be a robo brain waiting to be found in some godforsaken underground military bunker. What happened to Area 51? Hmm. A beeping sound broke me away from my reverie. It was coming from my pip boy. GPS offline, manual input needed. Great I had to find places before having them on a map. Another notification, what now? 1 Rads per second? What the- ahh. I was in a puddle of radioactive water. Okay, now onto the great plains of the- Another notification... Radio signal(s) found. Huh, let me see. 105.0 or 064.5. 105.0 turned out to be a good choice. "Welcome back to Fever 105. The wastelands soul paradise with me. Oliver biscuit, the lady killer. Its some mighty fine weather out there, I'm talking the whispers and the beat goes on, kind of weather. Oh yeah baby, now that is truly sunshine." Yeah, I might like this wasteland after all. I skipped my way down the mountain towards the guard post. A protectron greeted me, I briefly checked in the small building. A small comic called Guns and bullets, nope don't need that. Ooh, some med-x. I was now on the road, dancing my way, I could get used to this. "Its me! The one and only. Ol' Ladykiller needs some help folks, I got a ton of super mutants roamin' my downstairs can I have a saviour on my plate please. Chivonne is getting teary up here and I need some R and R. Those uglies are not contributing to my beauty sleep in a good way." I checked my pip boy, I selected the same frequency and spoke. "Hey, you got some trouble that needs fixing?" I got the reply in due haste. "Ok man, quick I need you here right away. Thanks man I appreciate it." I checked for the signals location on my pip boy, it was 4 miles away, time to start running. About twenty minutes later I found Fever 105's broadcasting building. It was a little tower surrounded by several power relay stations. I spotted the problem immediately, 7 Super mutants were walking around the building looking for ways to get in. I wondered how these things didn't realize that there was bridge to the second floor of the building on top of one of the power relay stations. Those things must be pretty dumb, maybe I was too. "Look, human!" Oh crap. I ducked behind a boulder, bullets whizzed past me. "Stupid human, you die!" I spotted one of the super mutants charging at my location with a plank of wood in his hands. Oh please, I rose and fired a three round burst into its chest. It didn't even slow down, what the? Ok, after a double tap to the brain, it was toast. Talking about toast, one of the mutants held a flamer, it was slowly trying to get around my location. I turned and fired a three round burst to the chest again, my logic was the bullets would hit the tank of gas on its back. That didn't work, the rounds must of lodged into it's chest. Damn, another two rounds to the brain worked fine. Two down, five to go. Ok, time for something special. I placed my magic T-64g helmet on. I stood out of cover, targeting two skulls and firing. Ok, three to go. Crap its charging and fast. I rolled away from the stampede, firing twice into the back of the mutants skull. One more to go, where did you go big guy. That question was answered when I was thrown forward, about ten yards. Serious air time. I came hurtling down to the ground, ooh that would hurt in the morning. My P90 was several yards to my right, the mutant was five yards in front, and standing. I chose the third option. The Glock 21. Firing a .45 ACP round at 840 fps minimum. One shot from this sweetheart meant goodbye to defenceless mutie. And one shot was all I needed. The moment the mutant hit the ground, a loud yee haw got my attention. A large African American man was whooping out the third floor window. I collected some ammo from the corpses, mostly .32 and .556. I made my way up the bridge into the open arms of a certain lady named Chivonne. "Why thank you, here Mr. Biscuit, 43 rounds of .556 and 24 rounds of .32. There's a few less than shabby rifles out there, maybe next time you can handle it yourself next time." Oliver Biscuit had a mighty smile across his face. "Thank you soul brother I appreciate the gesture, you ever need a place to crash. My baby, is home to you. You hear me?" I grinned, this was pretty perfect. "I might take up on that offer tonight, I got a long road ahead of me." "Say, I know curiosity killed the cat but man I gotta ask, where'd you get that fly helm O'yours?" I turned the helmet round in my hands so it faced me. "That's classified Agent Ladykiller." Oliver nodded knowingly, he gestured towards a mattress in the corner. "Look it's no five stars, but its mildly better than camping out on the dirt. Thanks brother, c'mon Chivonne. Lets give the guy some space." I nodded my thanks before plopping down on the mattress. The baking sun was dropping fast, so were my eyelids. Today was just a taste of what post apocalyptia had in store for me.