Sam woke with the smell of burning flesh in his nose. His body felt like it was on fire and he started coughing, feeling as if his lungs weren't getting enough air. After a few moments it was easier to breath and he got up, heading into the bathroom. He ran a cold shower and got in. Every time he closed his eyes the memory of seeing flames danced behind the back of his eyelids. He could still feel the flames eating away at his flesh, the terror of not being able to pass out and knowing that he was slowing roasting to death. He knew then that these were more than just nightmares. No matter what Bobby found, somehow he was sharing whatever Dean was going through. Of course, he thought bitterly, Dean was going through that constantly, Sam just dreamed about it. He was able to wake up and drink the memories away. Not Dean. He had to live through them day after day, never taking a rest, never being able to escape the pain and terror, the horror of hell. And damn if that didn't make Sam want to drink more.
He got out of the shower and started dressing when a knock came at the door. He grabbed the demon killing knife, hiding it in his back pocket before reaching out to open the door. He was surprised at who would be here and it wasn't until he opened the door and saw Ruby that he remembered last night. The details were blurry, but he vaguely remembers Ruby taking the last of his liquor.
"Well, at least you look human this morning Sam," Ruby stated, before making her way inside. Sam was stunned for a moment, letting her pass. She winkled her nose as she stepped fully in the room, taking in the rumpled bed sheets and dirty clothes and towels on the floor. Sam closed the door and turned, looking at her. It was weird, seeing Ruby like this, when he was so used to a blonde. She turned on her heel and studied Sam. "You sober today?"
Sam narrowed his eyes and glared, "Somebody took my liquor."
Ruby laughed at that, and Sam imaged shoving something sharp and shining deep in her heart. She grew serious and said, "Did you think about my offer yet?"
"I don't need your help," he said, putting as much conviction as possible. It sound good today, he wasn't slurring and his voice was deep, commanding. Ruby sighed, looking at Sam as if he was a slow child, "Yes, you do."
Sam shook his head as moved about the room, picking up his various weapons he kept hidden on his body. "I don't need help, especially from a demon."
Several thoughts went through his head at once as the realization came crashing into him the Ruby was, in fact a demon. He promised himself he was going to hunt down as many demons as it took to take down Lilith, but what if it only took one? But demons lied and she had lied about knowing how to save Dean. Demons were from hell, a place Dean was at right now, being tortured constantly by a black shadow. Who tortured souls in hell? Sam thought he knew the answer to that question, demons.
"Why do you want Lilith dead?" Sam questioned, gathering his wallet and checking to make sure he had enough cash before he made a stop at the local liquor store.
"Because Sam, I'm on your side here. I thought you would have known that by now. I'm trying to help you here," Ruby said, a little annoyed.
Sam glanced at her, "Like you helped Dean get out of his deal?" His voice had gotten cold and he suddenly thought of Dean, in hell, being tortured by a faceless demon, being ripped apart over and over again and just like that it wasn't Dean being tortured.
His weapon of choice tonight was a red hot poker. It never had to be reheated, in fact if anything it got hotter. First he pressed the tip in the middle of his palm and slowly pressed harder, until there was a hole burned through clear to the wood beneath him. His hand twitched and his fingers danced on their own. He burned patterns up and down his legs, humming again, listening to his screams and pleas to stop. He slashed through his stomach, and reached one bony hand in to pull out his intestines. Once they were out, lying on his chest, he used the poker and twirled them around like spaghetti, yanking them free of him. He casually flung them to the side before continuing. He smiled down at him, the shadow finally whole. His teeth were stained yellow and his eyes were cruel. That was the last thing he saw before the poker dug into his eyes.
"Sam! Sam! Hey, snap out of it!" Ruby shaking his shoulders had him brought back to the present. He was kneeling on a dirty motel carpet, Ruby standing over him, her hands on his shoulders. He was breathing hard, this had been worse than any vision he had ever had. He brought a shaking hand to his stomach, making sure that it was smooth and whole, then to his eyes. He could still feel the poker, digging in and making him bleed. Ruby was talking to him but he couldn't make out the words. He looked up and she took a step back. Her mouth was moving, forming words that he couldn't comprehend at the moment. He was shaking and he couldn't imagine what he looked like.
It took a few moments before he calmed down enough where he could get up on his own and hear what Ruby was saying. He stood on shaking legs and made his way to the edge of the bed. A glass of water was shoved in his hands and he drank greedily. "What the hell happened Sam?" Ruby demanded. If he looked close enough, she almost seemed worried about him.
He didn't answer, instead closed his eyes, quickly realizing this was a bad idea. He opened them and looked around, taking in the bad wallpaper and musty carpet. This was real, this was where he was, not hell. It was bad enough getting nightmares, but now they were happening when he was awake? A hand on his arm startled him out of his thoughts. He flinched back and Ruby stepped back, giving him a curious look. "Don't touch me!" Sam spat out.
He got up and Ruby moved back farther. He moved towards her and she backed up until she hit the wall. He swore he saw fear in her eyes. He moved closer until he was inches from her, "How many?" he asked. She frowned in confusion and tried moving past him, opening her mouth but Sam shoved her back and continued. "How many did you torture?" Ruby's eyes widen and Sam moved back a fraction.
"You're a demon, right? How many did you torture and rip apart?" Sam was angry and right now Ruby was the one who was here. Ruby was a demon, and in the end all demons were the same. He reached behind him and before she knew what was coming Sam had the knife out and in her chest, hilt deep. She had one moment to be surprised before the knife did its job and she was dead. Her body hung limp from the knife that was still in Sam's grip and when he finally let go she crumbled in a heap.
He moved back slowly, sinking to his knees. He didn't necessarily feel bad about killing Ruby, she was a demon, but Ruby had saved his life. And what if she wasn't lying? What if she was willing to help and he had just killed the only thing that could help defeat Lilith? He never could have trusted her, not fully but if she could have helped... Sam laughed; he was actually thinking that it had been a bad thing to kill a demon. For the past month he had been drinking nonstop, vowing he would make Lilith pay, getting lucky on hunts, barely making it out alive sometimes and the one hunt he probably would have died, she had saved him. Said she could help with Lilith and who better knows a demon, then another demon and what did Sam do? Killed her.
His laughter turned slowly into sobs as his chest shook and his vision clouded in tears. For the first time since the hellhounds dragged Dean away Sam cried.
Thanks so much for reading!
