I honestly can say that reviews make me write more. When I don't get any reviews, I get bored and don't write. Just sayin'.
Mistakes Already Made
Chapter 5
Lena looked at Bridget over her coffee cup. Bridget sighed and fidgeted with her oreo. She had no intention of eating it. It was merely for show. Lena continued to stare, and Bridget finally looked Lena in the eye.
"What do you expect me to do, Lenny?" she asked defensively.
"I expect you to not kick him out of your house," Lena said quietly, speaking volumes.
"Lena. He said…Well, I told him not to come," Bridget said, ignoring her heart that ached whenever she thought about what she'd done the night before. They were at the Coffee House on Main Street. School had just ended for winter break, and the next 16 days meant total freedom for everyone except Bridget. For her, they meant days of being unsure, of Eric, of her friends pressuring her to…Well, Tibby and Lena were for adoption, Carmen was for getting an apartment with Eric and raising the baby together. Carmen had strange ideas about what was awkward and what wasn't.
"But did you see how hurt he was? Did you care?" Lena prompted.
Yes.
"No, I didn't care. Because he's…I told him not to come, okay?" And with that, she dropped her oreo into Lena's coffee cup, stood up, and walked away.
Bridget was a bad person. Bridget was the worst of the worst. She didn't have emotions anymore. She didn't see other people's emotions. She was a creature. She didn't need people, and people didn't need her. She was all alone now, surrounded by people she couldn't fit in with. She was strange. Different. Weird. Too brutal. Dishonest. Her pillow was wet. It was too cold. She was shivering. Bridget hated shivering. She hated being cold.
Bridget sat on her bed, not sure what to do with herself. It was only 5 o'clock. Too early for her dad to be home. Carmen and Tibby were off with their families for the next three days for Christmas celebrations. They'd be back the day after Christmas. Lena was obviously not an option, but not because of Lena. She wasn't an option because of Bridget's own shame. Perry was shut up in his room. And he wouldn't want to do anything Bridget would want to do, anyway. Plus, Bridget didn't want to do anything.
So the only option was Eric.
That or wallow in her misery some more.
So Bridget picked up the phone. She dialed Eric's cell phone number, which he'd given her before she kicked him out the night before. She'd told him to scram after he said he wasn't leaving, and he said, "If you need me, I'll be here." And he'd given her his number. And she'd almost kicked his butt as he went out the door. But she didn't. She still had some dignity left.
"Bee," Eric said when he answered the phone on the second ring. "You okay?"
"Yes. I'm bored out of my mind," Bridget said, swallowing her pride and diving right in. Suddenly, she really wanted donuts. "Care to go for donuts?"
"Sure. I'll pick you up," Eric said. "Give me fifteen minutes, though. I have to put on pants."
Bridget really wished he hadn't told her he wasn't wearing pants, because, even though she knew it was supposed to be funny, it kind of gave her an achy feeling that she didn't like.
That feeling was gone fifteen minutes later when Eric showed up at her door in jeans and a blazer.
"Eric. You are going to get pneumonia or something out here if you just wear that!" Bridget exclaimed. She couldn't help being a tad bit concerned about him.
"I know, so don't make me wait too long." She hustled to the car in her big furry red jacket.
"Don't you have a heavier one?" she asked.
"Why would I need one in California?" he replied. "I'll get around to getting one. This morning I got a job, though."
Leave it to Eric to come into town and get a job the next day.
"That's cool," Bridget said. "Where?"
"That hardware store over in…that direction." He gestured with a hand to the left, and Bridget nodded. She had no idea there was a hardware store there, but she took his word for it.
They didn't speak much on the way to Dunkin' Donuts, but once she'd gotten her chocolate glazed donut and he had his sugar-coated donut and they were seated at a table next to the window, he started asking her questions.
"So when did you find out?" he asked.
"Beginning of September," she replied.
He nodded. "How has it been?"
"I'm actually really lucky," she said. She took a bite of her donut, chewed, and swallowed before continuing. "I didn't have morning sickness. That was great. But of course there's the mood swings and crap like that to deal with. It was also hard at school."
Eric took a bite of his donut and nodded understandingly, even though he didn't really understand what being pregnant was like. "But you've survived."
"I guess," Bridget said, shrugging. She fingered a strand of her hair, and he gazed at it between her thumb and forefinger.
"You guess? What happened to the Bee I knew?" he asked. "You were always so…happy-go-lucky. Like one of those clowns that you bat down and it pops back up."
Bridget thought for a minute before opening her mouth. "When I was little," she said, "I had one of those. I kept batting it down, and it would pop back up, but then it got too close to the edge of the table and it fell off on its head and cracked." There was silence as she let Eric soak that in.
He looked down guiltily. "Then I guess we'll just have to pick it back up again, then, huh?"
"Yeah. I guess." Bee smiled. If he understood her clown analogies, she guessed she might just need him to help her understand them.
"So what about you?" Bridget asked him.
"Oh, I've been…you know, playing soccer. Studying. Stuff." He looked like maybe he was hiding something. Bridget wondered at this. What would he not tell her?
"Do you have a girlfriend?" she asked. If that wasn't it, she really didn't know what it was.
"Oh. Uh, no. Not right now." He looked down at the table. "So, um, anyone you want me to beat up for you?"
Bridget made a mental note to find out what he was hiding. "No, I'm a big girl. I can handle myself." She stuck out her chest in pride. He looked up at her with marveling eyes, but quickly looked back down, ashamed.
"What about your friends?" Eric asked. Bridget had told him about Carmen, Lena, and Tibby once in passing. "Carmen, Lena, and…Tibby?"
Bridget looked at him in awe. He remembered their names after all this time. She must've told him that in July. It had been awhile. Either he had a great memory or…
No, she told herself, he has a great memory.
"They're fine." And for some reason, she spilled out with, "Lena and I kind of had a big fight. About an hour ago. Or so."
"Oh?" Eric asked. "What about?"
Bridget looked out the big window next to her, past the DUNKIN' DONUTS FREE ICED COFFEE WITH A PURCHASE OF 20 POP'EMS sign, and saw that it was flurrying.
"White Christmas," she commented, ignoring his question.
He let it go. "I'm dreaming…" he sang. He really wasn't a very good singer. Bridget smiled. She liked that. Neither was she. But she joined in anyway, and they sang the chorus, because that was all either of them knew. For a minute, Bridget forgot she was pregnant. She forgot she wasn't innocent. She forgot about her fight with Lena, and Carmen and Tibby being away. She smiled. Eric smiled.
Was this perfect, or was it just really nice?
