Chapter 4

Four:

Everything hurts. I can't move my left arm and I can barely see. I think that's Christina spinning above me, but I'm not sure...

I can see her. Tris. She's beckoning me closer, I want to go yet I can't move. I pull so hard I think my legs are going to snap. They don't. I hear Christina talking, "Four, wake up! Tobias, come on!" I want to scream, tell her "No, let me go!" but my lips won't move and Tris is fading, falling…

There's smoke and blue sky and I think that's a tree, but it's taller than any I've seen, there's thousands of them, all flickering around and above me as somebody repeatedly stabs me in the arm…

Tris is over me, holding out her hands but I can't reach up, she's flickering and growing smaller as smoky hands pull me away despite my screaming and pleading that's only in my head because my lips still won't move…

Christina, a blurry Christina who's still a Christina all the same, is trying to hold my eyes open and there's still somebody stabbing me, I have just enough energy to think why they'd be doing that…

She's there with Will and Uriah and Tori who are all smiling though I don't much like any of them except Tris I reach out finally…

Christina's crying. "Why are you crying" I try to say, but still I won't move and there's Alex who's shaking his head, did somebody die, he is a doctor after all…

Their arms are so comforting and I'm almost there and Tris is smiling and the ground is steady, I'm coming home…

Christina stands above me and she's holding her hands like she's praying and then somebody starts shovelling mud onto me and I work it out…

The other three have left now but she's coming towards me still waiting, my legs are collapsing, I can't reach her….

I can't move to tell them no, no, I'm alive and then a crash, two blurry figures burst out of the trees…

She strokes my cheek and I'm crying now even though I'm not and everything's still not working…

I'm lying half covered in mud and blood though I have no idea whose blood it is. I'm fighting to keep my eyes open, if anybody looked they'd see the struggle but nobody's here, nobody's listening…

She's singing a child's lullaby, one of Amity that everybody sings when you're sick or dying. I'm dying and she's coming…

I can hear somebody talking but my eyes are closed and I can't open them. Somebody falls on top of me and scrambles off, then they stop…

"I'll wait for you to come out of the dreams,

Go to sleep my little moonbeam…"

The person grabs my arm…

"I'll be here watching over you…"

They feel my wrist…

"I'll wait up my whole life for you…"

They press down on my neck…

"Go to sleep…"

Somebody's screaming, why are they screaming…

"My little moonbeam." Tris is smiling, she stands up and turns away, but she looks back one last time…

I'm pulled up and stabbed and shocked and thrown about, there's sobs, screams…

"I will always love you."