Chapter 3: Two Part Harmony

Reluctantly, the Russian stepped into the house, shivering visibly. A terrified Latvian scurried over to take his coat, disappearing faster than when he had come when the tall man waved his hand to dismiss him. Sighing softly, Ivan climbed the stairs to his room. The Austrian welcomed him warmly, getting up from his chair. "Willkommen zurück, Ivan. "

Glancing sideways, the taller man replied coldly. "You're still here?"

Ivan:

I want to embrace him. I long to confess that I don't know why I'm saying any of this. His already tearing eyes pain me so. But I am too afraid of the consequences. I never asked for any of this to happen.

What is 'this'?

Being vulnerable. Being damaged. Loving. Not being loved. Seeing the flicker on. Seeing the flicker off.

Leaping.

Falling.

Crashing.

I hate telling him that I love him, because I know I will only end up hurting him infinitely more than I can heal him. It's not like I'm trying to mess with his head. I was only messing with my own and he got dragged along for the ride.

He's so nice to me and that freaks the fuck out of me. When a person is terrible to you, it's easier to know where you stand. If someone hurts you, trust is not an option, and you don't have to get scared about maybe having to trust him.

My heart is pounding so much it feels as if it will stop nay moment. This is exactly why I take so much care to numb all emotions, because it hurts. By simply being in his presence, I am blatantly embracing danger. With every second I manage not to look at him, Я лежу.

It happened like this: I met him. He was broken, and I was not. Even when he was on the verge of fading, I fell in love with the proud and defiant look in his eyes. Oh, but those eyes also held a terrible helplessness. There was so much astonishment and questioning in those eyes, it burned me.

And of course, I would willingly take the blame for it all.

Roderich:

His words stung me, relentless in its cruelty. How much more time and effort would be needed to melt his frozen heart?

Of course, I know that he was only bluffing. No doubt he would apologize later, repeatedly saying that he didn't mean it, that he loved me. Will he? I'm not so sure anymore. What would happen the day he stops apologizing? Would I be discarded, just like his many other lovers did? I…am afraid.

I have given up everything I had to come to him. Back then, it had been clear that we had both wanted this fate. Now, he no longer seems so sure. Ivan…what did he really want from me? I don't even know if I have anything left from my former life to turn back to when the Russian gets rid of me. Even if he does, it won't matter. I will only go back to when I was in that battlefield, when I was fading. It will be as if nothing happened.

For now, I will try my best to win this spiel.

If he forgets why I'm here, who I am, I will remind him.

Again,

And again.

Translations:

Willkommen zurück: Welcome back

Я лежу: I lie/I am lying

Spiel: Game

[[...where is this sotry going? It's out of my hands...Suggestions and reviews? Oh, and my favebook roleplay account has been disabled. Please be patient while it works out ^^*]]