"Ferb, why aren't you talking to me?"
Ferb didn't respond to Phineas. He changed the channel on the television and pretended to be interested in a movie about otters.
"Are you mad?" Phineas asked. He sat down between Ferb and Perry. "I'm sorry I didn't go home with you, but is it such a crime to want to spend time with other friends sometimes?"
Ferb shrugged.
"I wanted you to come with me." Phineas said. "I missed you."
"I wanted you to come, too." Ferb reminded him.
"Ferb, if I made you mad, I want you to tell me why so I can fix it."
"Look at the cute otter."
"Ferb, please." Phineas looked as though he were on the verge of tears. "Did I say something or do something? What did I do?"
"It's not you, okay?" Ferb snapped.
Phineas shrank back. "O… okay. I just thought you were angry with me."
"Well, I'm not." Ferb griped. He changed the channel again.
Phineas's phone rang. He took it out and looked at it. Then he put it back in his pocket and watched Ferb.
Ferb looked cautiously at Phineas's pocket.
"Jack." Phineas said quietly. "I'm just gonna let it ring."
Ferb turned back to the television.
"I really do want to spend time with you." Phineas said. "We haven't done anything together for the past few days."
Ferb nodded. "Okay. We can build something."
Phineas smiled. The two of them got up and went outside.
Perry happily watched them through the window.
"My body lies over the ocean, my body lies over the sea…"
"Stop watching that!" Perry snapped. He closed Alan the alligator's computer.
"Come on." Alan said. "You shouldn't be embarrassed! You were such a cute little baby!"
"Turn it back on!" Begged Kyle the kangaroo.
Alan reopened the computer. Baby Perry was back on the screen, singing the wrong words to "My bonnie lies over the ocean".
"AWWWW." Cooed the animal agents.
Perry hid his face. "Please. Turn it off. Or at least watch someone ELSE'S baby video."
"Oh yeah!" Alan said. "I almost forgot. I have baby Peter the panda videos!"
"Let's watch the rap one!" Said Edie the elephant.
Alan clicked his mouse, and baby Peter was soon visible.
"Panda! I'm a panda! P-A-N-D-A, WOO! WOO!" Peter sang.
The other agents began to sing along. Perry looked over at Peter. Peter didn't seem to care.
"Panda! I'm a panda! P-A-N-D-A, WOO! WOO!" Baby Peter began to breakdance.
"SO CUTE." Alan said.
"I'm so glad he moved back to Danville." Edie said. "I missed him when he was in Seattle."
"There's a rumor floating around that he moved back because he found a new villain, but the villain left him for another agent." Devon the dog said.
Peter and Perry glanced at each other.
"I went shopping!" Linda said.
"Cool." Phineas and Ferb were looking over a blueprint together.
Perry sat in the middle of the blueprint, much to the annoyance of his owners.
"I found you two some of that candy you like." Linda said, handing two chocolate bars to the boys. "And I found Perry a new toy."
She gave Perry a little brown teddy bear with a bowtie. Perry took it over to the couch and happily rubbed his face against its soft fur.
"The box said its name was Teddy Snugglebear." Linda said. "And even though it's too soft to last more than a few days around Perry, I thought he'd enjoy it."
"He does seem to like it." Phineas said. "A teddy bear for Perrybear."
"Perrywinkle." Ferb said.
"Don't you ever call me that again." Perry warned, gently pawing at Snugglebear. "Does this couch smell funny?"
Phineas went and reached inside the couch. He pulled out a fuzzy grey-green object with a bite mark taken out of it.
"Steve!" Perry cried. "He's back!"
"But… then what did Ferb eat?" Phineas asked.
"Perhaps the sandwich was so disgusting and alive that it was able to morph into two sandwiches." Ferb said.
"Oh, gross!" Phineas dropped it on the floor and wiped off his hands. "I THINK IT JUST MOVED ON ITS OWN!"
Perry pulled a plastic baggie out of his fur pocket and put Steve inside. "Yep, that's my bite mark, all right! Steve is safe and sound again."
"It's leaking black goo into the bag." Ferb observed.
"OH DUDE." Phineas covered his eyes. "THROW THAT THING OUT!"
"No way!" Perry said defensively. "Steve's a very sentimental sandwich."
Perry sat by the window, holding Snugglebear in his mouth. It was his day off, but Linda was in the house, so he couldn't watch his soap opera. And with Phineas and Ferb at school, there wasn't really anything for him to do.
Finally the bus drove up to the bus stop. Ferb got out first. He held his hand over his eye. Phineas followed him, looking really worried.
As soon as they came through the door, Phineas called, "Mom?"
"Hang on a second, honey."
"Ferb's hurt."
Linda came running to the door. "What happened?"
"I don't know. He won't tell me."
Linda pulled Ferb's hand away from his eye. It was bruised, and the area around it was bleeding a little. Ferb also had a lot of bruises on his arms.
Perry cringed at the sight.
"Oh, Ferb." Linda said. "What happened?"
Ferb didn't answer.
"It looks like someone hit him." Linda said. "Come on, let's clean that out." She led Ferb into the kitchen.
Phineas was furious. "Who would do that? Who would beat him up?"
Perry knew exactly who would. He climbed down from the window and dragged Snugglebear along with him into the kitchen.
"What's this doing on the table?" Linda said. "Eew."
She picked up the plastic bag that contained Steve and went to throw it away.
"Blubbles." Perry growled.
"Mom? Don't throw that out. It's a science experiment." Phineas said quickly.
"All right, but don't leave it on the kitchen table!" Linda handed the bag to Phineas. Phineas looked as though he were about to throw up. The sandwich steamed innocently from inside the bag.
Linda cleaned Ferb's cuts with a washcloth. Ferb's expression remained neutral.
"Oh, there you are, Perry." Phineas said. When Linda wasn't looking, he slid Steve across the floor to his pet.
Perry hid the baggie in his fur pocket and chewed on Snugglebear.
"I can't believe someone would hit him." Phineas said. "Ferb, who was it?"
Ferb didn't answer.
"Why won't you just tell me?" Phineas begged. "I can help you."
"Just stop asking." Ferb grumbled.
"I'd better go get some antiseptic solution." Linda said, leaving the kitchen. "I'll be right back."
"I'll stop asking when you TELL me!" Phineas said. "Who beat you up?"
"They didn't beat me up! He just punched me in the eye."
"They? There's more than one?"
"Oh, be quiet!"
"Why won't you TELL me?" Phineas shouted.
"Because it was JACK!"
As soon as he realized he had spoken the words, Ferb quickly slapped his hand over his mouth.
Phineas just stared at him. He didn't say anything.
Ferb slowly took his hand away from his mouth. "...Ever since Benny and Jack met me, they've been mean to me."
"Benny poured soda on his head and told him you were probably mad that Linda and Lawrence married. I witnessed it." Perry went back to chewing on Snugglebear.
"When you are around, they make fun of me without acting like they're doing it on purpose. And when you aren't, they're horrible. They like you, but they hate me. And I don't know why and I wish I could get them to stop, and I didn't want you to know because I know you really like them and I didn't want to hurt your feelings…" Ferb took a breath. It had probably been the longest he'd ever spoken. "…And so I didn't tell you. I just tried to ignore it."
Phineas didn't move.
"You're not mad at me, are you?" Ferb asked quietly.
Phineas swallowed. He had tears in his eyes. "No. No I'm not. It's just… Ferb… WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?"
He ran from the room. A few minutes later they heard the front door slam.
Ferb touched his eye and flinched.
"Well." Perry said.
Ferb and Perry were sitting on the couch when Phineas stormed back in, closely followed by Benny and Jack. Benny and Jack were both talking very fast at the same time. It was kind of hard to follow what they were saying.
"I didn't hit him! What makes you think I hit him?"
"He didn't! We're telling the truth. Ferb's just trying to get us in trouble."
"There's no proof I hit him!"
Phineas whirled around and glared at them. Benny and Jack fell silent.
"There's your proof." He said, his voice shaking. He pointed at Ferb.
"Ouch, what happened to your eye?" Jack asked innocently.
"You know what happened to his eye." Phineas said coldly. "Weren't you there when you punched him?"
"Come on. Don't you believe me?" Jack said. "I didn't punch him!"
"No. I don't. Because Ferb would never lie to me."
"How would you know?" Benny said.
"I've lived with him for over half of my LIFE." Phineas snapped. "He's my best friend in the whole world. He's my brother. And he would NEVER LIE TO ME. He's my BEST FRIEND."
"But I thought WE were best friends." Benny said.
"Well, we're not. Not anymore." Phineas pointed at the door. "Go."
"Phineas, you're a really cool guy." Benny said. "And it'd stink to lose you as a friend."
"You should have thought of that before you were rotten to my brother. He's amazing, and you never gave him a chance. You jerks."
Jack looked uncomfortable. "Do you think… if we gave him a chance, we could be friends again?"
Phineas frowned. "Nice try. But I don't give second chances to people who beat up my brother. Get OUT of my HOUSE."
Benny and Jack slunk shamefully out the front door. Phineas closed it behind them and sighed.
"...I'm sorry." Ferb said.
"...Hey, it isn't your fault, bro." Phineas gave him a hug. "Just don't ever let me waste time with people who are mean to you ever again."
Ferb hugged back.
