4. A heart to heart

Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer or Charlaine Harris - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their Gods.


Leah woke up feeling like a piece of shit. Her eyes were crusted and sore; her mouth was dry. Her nose was blocked and she could tell from the furriness of her mouth that she must have been breathing through her mouth instead. God! She had probably snored.

It took her a couple of minutes to work out where the hell she was.

It took her a couple more minutes to remember why she was clutching a damp flannel checked shirt. She could hear breathing behind her and an arm was around her waist. It held her loosely.

Alcide. Now, she remembered.

She suppressed a groan. She shuffled herself across the bedspread towards the window and off the edge of the bed, letting his arm fall onto the bed. She stood and looked down at the man asleep on the bed. She sat down in one of the armchairs and watched him sleep.

What was she going to do? It was the middle of the night. She felt like shit. And she had ruined everything by sobbing all over him. She wanted to run and hide and pray she didn't see him again before he left town. Maybe ever.

But then she thought about her unexpected confession to him that she hadn't had sex in almost three years. And she wanted to. God did she want to. She and her inner wolf agreed on that. Alcide ticked all the boxes for them both.

And he seemed to be a nice guy. He hadn't chucked her out; he hadn't forced her into anything. He had held her and he had let her cry.

She felt like she owed him an explanation, if nothing else.

Sam.

That was her explanation. In one word. It was just that simple.

She sighed heavily. He shifted on the bed a little as if he missed her.

She would have a shower. That would make her feel better and wash some of the shit on her face off. She would feel like a new woman.

And then she would see.

So she did that. Hotels never ran out of hot water, even if it wasn't as hot as she would have liked. It did have a towelling gown hanging on the back of the door too. She slipped it on, tied it around her waist and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked much better. Definitely more human. She found one of those crappy complimentary toothbrushes as well; she used it, it was better than nothing.

She towelled her hair dry and opened the door gingerly.

He was awake. The TV was on, without the sound. He was leaning back against the headboard with a mound of pillows behind him. He gave her a small smile when she crept out of the bathroom. "Better?" he asked.

She nodded. She approached him. The bed was so wide; she could avoid him if she needed to.

He watched her carefully. He frowned a little. "You okay?"

She nodded again.

"Help yourself." He waved at the fridge and the mini bar.

She checked and he already had a drink, so she got herself a soda. she sat carefully next to him on the edge of the bed. She sipped at her drink.

He didn't try to touch her.

She didn't know how to start. She picked at the towelling robe where it covered her thigh.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"I think you needed that."

"Yes… maybe… but…"

"It's okay, Leah. Don't stress yourself."

"I… you…"

"Leah… give it up."

"But…"

"Look if you want to talk to me… talk." He gave her a penetrating look. "I think you need to do that too."

She kept picking at the robe. Staring at her hand as her fingers pulled at the tiny threads.

He reached across and gently pressed his hand over hers; stopping her. His hand slid up her arm to her wrist and he gave her the gentlest of tugs. She shifted a little.

"Come on," he encouraged, still holding her wrist. She put her drink down on the side table.

He tugged her until she climbed onto the bed next to him. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in against his chest. She took in a breath to speak but got another whiff of his scent. Damn. He smelt fine.

She tucked herself in under his arm; her face on his chest. The arm around her shoulder hugged her in to him and his other hand reached across and played with her still damp hair.

He made a small satisfied noise. "There," he said, as if he was pleased with her position.

There was a pause.

"Now, you don't have to look at my face… you can just lie here and talk to me… tell me what you need to tell me… and I promise to listen… and not to interrupt…"

She let out a gust of air.

Silence.

"So…" he prompted. "You're the only female and you don't have a mate… or even a boyfriend,"

"Yeah." One word.

"So…?"

The light in the room flashed and changed from the TV screen. A few silent minutes passed.

She glanced at the screen. "Are you watching the football or listening?"

"Well if you're not talking…"

"Fine," she huffed.

More silence.

"Sam was your last boyfriend?" he guessed; prompting her again.

"Y-yes."

"Aah." A pause. "But he has a mate?"

"Yes."

"Who's not a wolf?"

"No."

Silence.

He poked her in the side with a finger. She squirmed.

"Talk!" he ordered.

"March 2005," she blurted out. "Sam went weird." Pause. "He disappeared… gone… for weeks… I didn't know what had happened…"

"You were together?"

"Engaged. Kind of."

"He shifted?"

"Yeah. But he was the first in a long time… three generations… and it took him a while to get back."

"He did it alone?"

"Yeah. Alone."

"Ouch. No wonder he was gone for weeks."

"But he couldn't tell me. The tribal rules said it was to be kept a secret. I mean I don't think there is a problem with telling you. Considering you're a wolf and all."

"Good… so?"

"So… he lied about where he had been and what he had been doing."

Alcide made a hissing noise. "Ouch."

"I didn't believe that he was telling me the truth and … we had some problems because of that… my cousin came to visit me. For girl support… they met and…" She made a kind of shrug movement. But her whole body was tight.

He waited for her. He stroked her hair.

She let out a big breath. Then she could speak. "Our pack has this… thing… imprinting. You see someone the first time after you have phased and whammo… love." The bitterness was obvious in her voice. "Like fucking baby ducks imprinting on the first thing they see."

A pause.

"She was my cousin and my best friend."

He hugged her a little closer.

She rubbed angrily at her face. She had cried enough over this.

"I was angry," she admitted. "Really angry. I didn't understand and no one would tell me the truth about the wolves." She put a hand on his chest. "Then, a year later… March 16th 2006 I turned into a wolf… and it was worse."

"Worse?" he prompted.

"Our pack has a shared mind, when we are phased. We think of something and the whole pack can see it, feel it, smell it…"

"Oh dear God." He hugged her closer. "Sam's mind. You could see into his mind and he into yours, I suppose."

She pressed her face into his t-shirt. She just nodded.

He pressed his lips against her forehead.

"You remember the date?" he asked tentatively.

It was the day she killed her father, but he hadn't earned that knowledge yet. "Yes," was all she said.

"We don't have a shared mind… I can see how it would be useful in a battle but… yeah…" He frowned, as if he was thinking about it. "Could be problematic…"

"Some images, you just don't need to share with others," she stated.

"Is that why you haven't… you know… had sex?"

She rubbed at his chest nervously. "Imagine… bad enough if I do it with a normal person, but with another pack member… it would be on endless repeat…ugh." She shuddered.

"They're young," he guessed. He remembered his thoughts when he had met Quil in the hardware store; that he had aged too quickly.

"Young? Sam's the eldest and he's 22. Jake only turned 18 in January."

"Jake?"

"My pack leader… my alpha. I changed packs as soon as I could, to get away from Sam."

"So they've been wolves for less than three years…"

"Some only changed four months ago. And it was all new to us… the last wolf pack was three generations ago. All we had were songs and stories. Nobody had any clue what we were doing." She paused. "Other than killing vampires. We're very good at that."

He laughed. It was a deep, pleasant sound. She looked quizzical.

"In my world," he explained. "Vampires have a lot of power and influence. I would so wish for a world in which I could just tear them to pieces." He grinned at her. It showed, just for a second, his dual nature; the animal within. He really did look like he could tear something apart.

Her inner wolf purred.

And Alcide seemed to hear it somehow. His eyes changed and he looked at her with a completely different look.

She blinked.

His arm was still around her back and his other hand lifted and stroked down her cheek. His eyes flicked down to her lips. "Now…" he hummed. "Where were we…?"

FF_2154210_ - 15/08/2011 04:13:00 AM