Arthur thanked his lucky stars that Alfred could—once in a while—be an absolute genius.

After Arthur was forced into the embarrassing and exposing waiter outfit, Alfred suggested that the dare should be done in private, so Arthur wouldn't be too embarrassed and stubborn about it. Everyone agreed, since Arthur was known to be a bit different with this kind of stuff in private…

"Good job, Alfred. Now we can just wait in here for a few minutes so they'll think we're doing it," Arthur chuckled as they entered the bedroom and locked the door. They even turned off the lights to hide, in case anyone happened to find some way to look in.

Alfred blinked. "What do you mean?"

"….Isn't this to fool them, so we won't have to do that stupid dare?" Arthur suddenly felt cornered and exposed. Here he was, locked in a dark room with Alfred while wearing nothing but an apron-skirt. And it didn't help at all when Alfred started to move closer to the Briton. To make it even worse, the way Alfred was looking at him was just so fucking hot and possessive… Arthur blushed a deep red and looked down at the ground. He just hoped Alfred wasn't going to do anything that was, let's say, France-like. "What are you doing, you bloody git?"

"What I meant out there was exactly as I said. I didn't want you to get all embarrassed, Iggy. What, you don't want to do the dare?" Alfred was merely inches away from Arthur now. Oh dear Lord, Arthur could feel tingles running down his spine.

"Er…Um…Well, you see…."

"Hah! I knew you wanted to do the dare! You're such a kinky guy, Iggy!"

"S-Shut up! If the others hear you, I'll fucking murder you!"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Alright then, let's get started, shall we?"

Arthur nearly fell over. Did he just hear right? Did Alfred just say he wanted Arthur to give him a lap dance? Arthur didn't know if he should kick him and leave or actually listen to the American for once. "Y-You're serious? You really wa—AH!"

Alfred suddenly jumped Arthur, and proceeded to do things that Arthur has only read about in his porn magazines. Not that he was complaining.


"Goddamn it! Let me the fuck out of here! I haven't even gotten to spin the fucking bottle or get dared and crap! The Awesome Me demands that you let me out, or else I'll rape Roderich in here! I swear to on my epic awesomeness that I will!" Gilbert shouted angrily from the closet down the hall. Everyone stared down the hall in horror, fear, and irritation.

"Dear God! Someone help me!!! Don't let him, you morons!"

Ludwig suddenly jumped out of his seat and lunged towards the door. He ripped it open and pulled the two men out before anything explicit could happen in there—unless something already did. Judging by the way the two men acted a bit flustered after stepping out, Ludwig concluded that something did happen in there. He just didn't want to know the blinding truth. Last time he discovered something his brother did in secret, he wasn't able to sleep for nights.

"Since Artie and Alfred are probably fucking back there, I'll spin for Artie!" The Prussian declared, spinning the bottle before anyone could object.

"How do you know that they're doing that? It's just a lap dance," Antonio commented.

"Knowing Alfred, he probably flipped Artie over, stripped him, and sho—FUCK! THAT HURT!!" Ludwig had cut off his noisy brother by kicking his shin. "See, West? This is why I don't invite you along with all the other badass dudes for drinking! You kick me when I get into the hot details on things!" The Prussian glared at his brother, but then grinned as the bottle stopped spinning. It pointed to Yao.

Yao paled as Gilbert suddenly grinned wickedly. "Truth or Dare?"

Yao gulped. "Truth, aru."

"Wow, you sure are a sissy. Are you sure you're not a girl? You look like one," Gilbert scoffed, the grin vanishing. He had a fucking awesome dare, and now he couldn't use it. Damn it.

"Alright, fine, aru! I pick Dare!"

The grin returned. "Niyoniyoniyo~! I dareyou to become one with Ivan!!"

Silence.

"Holy fucking shit…" Lovino gasped silently, breaking the silence. Everyone suddenly went insane. Ivan was grinning like he just won the lottery, Gilbert was rolling on the floor while laughing, Ludwig looked disturbed beyond explanation, Feliciano was whimpering, Antonio attempted to hug Lovino but was punched by his target, Francis fainted, Elizaveta hugged Roderich and started acting scared and innocent (all so she could cop a feel, mind you), and Kiku paled. Heracles had fallen asleep, so he didn't react at all. Alfred and Arthur were still…yeah. Yao looked like he was about to kill himself with whatever he could get his hands on.

"B-But you can't change my status as a nation, aru!"

"Hey, did I say become one with Russia? No. I said become one with Ivan. In other words, you two need to find a room—unless you're comfortable doing it right here."

"B-But..!" Yao stuttered, trying to grasp an excuse to escape the dare. "Come on, Gilbert! Don't be so mean, aru! What did I ever do to you?" Gilbert rolled his eyes and pushed the Asian closer to the Russian. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just start with the dirty, okay?"

Elizaveta thanked God that she set up cameras around the house. "That's disgusting, Gilbert! But, since the dare has been given, you'll have to do it, Yao. Go use the bedroom. I'll go tell Alfred and Arthur that they can stop now." Lap dances were nice, but pure yaoi was better. The Hungarian stood up and headed down the hall that led to the guest bedroom, when suddenly…

"AAAH! A-ALFRED!"

Silence.

"Well, looks like the bedroom isn't available!" Francis laughed. Matthew stared at the door in horror as blinding mental images suddenly filled his mind. Oh fucking maple leaves, he was going to have nightmares for months. Elizaveta grinned inwardly. Fuck yes, she thought, This was the best idea ever. She sat down again and pointed towards the other guest bedroom down the opposite hall. "You'll have to settle for that bedroom, you two. Have fun!"

Everyone watched in horror as Ivan picked up Yao and ran down the hall. The door shut with a slam.

"AIYAAAH!!! NO!!!!!!"

Kiku turned to Gilbert in horror. "You're so cruel…."

Gilbert spun the bottle again, seeing that Yao wasn't going to spin it any time soon. "I'll ask the question this time," Elizaveta said. Once the bottle stopped, it pointed to Kiku. The Japanese man paled in pure horror.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Truth, Elizaveta-san."

Elizaveta smirked and glanced around at the others that remained. "Does your experience come from those doujinshis of yours?" It wasn't a good question, but she was dying to know. Or maybe the doujinshis came from his own sex life? No, wait. That was impossible. Kiku was dead last on the sex frequency list—then again, Heracles was number one.

Kiku reddened. "Er, no. I don't really, as you say, roll like that. Right, Heracles-san?"

"Yeah. He doesn't do all those moves and weird things." The Grecian paused. "Then again, there was that one time with the dango, which was when he put one o—."

"That's enough!!" Roderich coughed loudly. Kiku blushed again and spun the bottle, mentally thanking the Austrian for cutting of Heracles' statement. The bottle pointed to Gilbert. Fuck.

"I pick Dare, since I'm so fucking awesome!"

Kiku smiled. Now was the time for revenge. Poor Yao was basically being raped by Ivan, all because of Gilbert. Now Kiku could get back at the Prussian for the humiliating dare, which had insulted the honor of their Asian family. "Alright, Gilbert-san. I dare you to dress up as Lady Gaga-san."

Gilbert fell over in shock. "WHAT!!??"

Feliciano and Lovino glanced at each other and gulped. The blinding image of Gilbert in one of those insane outfits was horrifying—even more so for poor Ludwig. The German was enduring all of this stuff, and his turn was still coming. He just wanted to gulp down a pint of beer and sleep for the next three days. That would be long enough to forget this nightmare party game. Truth or Dare is going to be banned from my country for sure….

"B-But where will we…?" Matthew stammered.

"Who?"

"CANADA, GODDAMN IT!!"

"Well, Mr. Canada," Elizaveta huffed in annoyance, "I just so happen to be a fan of Lady Gaga. I have an outfit of hers that I ordered, but it came in too large. It should be perfect for Gilbert here."

"No, you insane woman!" Gilbert shouted in horror. That was so not awesome! Awesome badass dudes do not wear Lady Gaga shit. The Prussian could only imagine what Denmark would say if he ever found out… Elizaveta ran down the hall, slowing down as she passed the bedroom where Yao and Ivan were, and entered her room. She then returned with the same outfit Lady Gaga wore in Poker Face. Oh fuck. Gilbert felt his awesomeness begin to fade away as the dreaded outfit drew closer.

"Now let's see who is the pansy, shall we?" Roderich snickered.

"Shut the fucking hell up, you sissy ass! I'm so fucking cool and awesome, so I'll wear it! I'll make Lady Gaga weep in shame, because I'll look even better in it! So there, you fucking dumbass!" Gilbert shouted. He snatched the outfit from Elizaveta's hands and stripped himself of his clothes (forever blinding Ludwig), and slipped on the outfit. Elizaveta nearly died of blood loss.

"Hell yes, I am so fucking awesome!! I put it on, so give me my money, bitches!"

"What money? We never said anything about that," Heracles said.

"Well, I should get paid for this shit! What, you want me to sing Poker Face too? LOOK HOW AWESOME I AM IN THIS, DAMN IT!!"

It was at that moment that Alfred and Arthur came into the room.

"Um…. Gilbert?" Arthur stuttered in pure shock. "….What the bloody fuck are you wearing?"

"Oh you two are done in there? How was it, and who topped?" Francis laughed, smirking at the two. Arthur reddened, and Alfred grinned proudly. "Where are Yao and Ivan?" Arthur asked, changing the subject.

"Yao is becoming one with Ivan," Heracles said calmly.

"Oh. Wait. WHAT!!!???"


Okay, I lied. I moved Canada to the next chapter. :P

And I'm changing it to Prussia/Canada, so there is no France/Canada—aside from France's habit of trying to rape everyone he comes in contact with.

Gilbert as Lady Gaga. XD