Chapter Four

The dwindling summer days soon drew to a close, and as I watched the last leaf from the big maple tree in our backyard drift slowly to the ground, I took a deep breath. It felt odd not going to Hogwarts, I knew that I had no particular field I wanted to pursue, and definitely not enough energy or passion to go forth in a career at the moment.

Currently, I was neglecting my part time job at a small bookstore; I had called in sick for the past week or so. Anything before that, I had claimed that I was on vacation. I sighed again, wondering idly if this dead feeling would ever go away on its own. I remembered my passion to be better a couple days ago, but yet as I searched inside myself, I could not bring back the fire. At this moment, leaning against my window and watching the sky darken before me, it seemed completely and utterly impossible.

I was just about to close my eyes and fall into a light sleep when I heard a commotion downstairs. Annoyance tugged at me. Dragging my feet across the creaky floorboards, I leaned against the stair banister, looking down. My vision swirled, blurring.

A rush of vertigo hit me. When was the last time I had a decent nights' sleep? When I had a decent meal? Clinging tightly to the railing, I made my way downstairs, wobbling slightly.

My body still felt dead. I dragged myself down the rickety stairs. Turns out, the commotion was just dinner. I barely noticed the flicker of happiness that flashed across Dad's face when he saw me at the table. I could barely manage a weak smile. I knew it was no use pretending anyways. Everyone saw right through me, and I hated that. I looked at the plate in front of me, saw it fill up as Mum ladled food onto it. I felt sick to my stomach looking at it. The familiar feeling you got before you throw up made its way to me. I stood up, scraping my chair across the tiled floor as I quickly muttered to excuse myself before I ran out the kitchen door and into the fresh air.

Annoyance swept through me. I couldn't even sit through one meal. Walking along the grassy field, I soon found myself out of the yard and into open plains. Unconsciously, my feet led me towards the small Muggle town again. Twice in one day. What was it that drew me here? It was mostly dark now, the streets barely lit by tall lamp posts. Dim lights lit windows from within. Luckily, it wasn't cold enough yet that I needed a scarf, seeing as I was barely wearing a jacket.

I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. Maybe I had bipolar disorder, along with everything else wrong with me. Ugh. I was on the outskirts of town, and I plunked myself down on a small patch of grass. Picking a nearby dandelion, I held it in front of me. Puckering my lips, I blew softly.

"Out so late?"

I jumped, pulling out my wand.

"Calm down, it's just me."

Just? I recognized that voice. It was Draco Malfoy again. Jeez, today was weird.

"Why are you here?"

"I should say the same for you." He sat down next to me. Although he was an arm's length away, it was still uncomfortably close.

"Did I say you could sit down?" I hissed.

"No," he replied, smirking at me

Grumbling incoherently to myself, I wrapped my arms around my knees and rested my chin there. It was getting pretty cold.

It seemed like hours passed, but it was probably roughly five minutes.

"You're still here?" I asked, annoyance saturating my tone.

"Yes."

Why was he so mellow? I turned towards him and studied his face. If it wasn't for the platinum blonde hair, trademark smirk, and clear, gray eyes, I wouldn't have recognized him. It seem like the permanent frown and the hard, cool mask he wore were gone. Erased.

"What happened to you?" I whispered. The question slipped from my teeth, I couldn't help it.

"How do you mean?"

"You're all... mellowed out or something."

"Oh." He stared straight ahead, avoiding my question. I didn't push it.

"So... why'd you stalk me?" I tried instead. His mouth fell open. "I was joking! So you were following me?"

Gritting his teeth, he stared purposely ahead again.

"Why?"

"It was dark," he said simply.

"So?"

"You were alone."

I raised my eyebrow, but I wasn't sure if he could see it in the dark. I could tell that he got the message, though. There was a long silence. Knowing he wasn't going to answer me anytime soon, I broke it.

"So... are those Muggle books any good?" Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say. He stiffened, and his jaw clamped audibly together.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"For what?"

I could almost hear the mask slip back on his face. I turned my face to look at him. His eyes met mine. As I looked into the grey depths, I was appalled. Depths. There appeared to be layers and layers to him. I could almost visibly see how much he had went through. The thing that drove me burning with curiosity was what. What had he been through that caused him to be like this now?

"I didn't mean to offend you." My voice stayed at a whisper.

"You didn't. It just... struck a nerve."

So I've noticed, I thought to myself. Out loud, I apologized again.

"Stop saying sorry, Ginny. You didn't do anything wrong."

I couldn't believe I was having a civilized conversation with Draco. I couldn't believe he just said that I didn't do anything wrong. From what I remembered, it was wrong for me to have been born, according to him.

"Well, er, before this turns into some cheesy scene where enemies fraternize with each other, I'll be going now." It was definitely uncomfortable to be civilized with Draco. It felt wrong. It was against all my instincts and my beliefs. Against nature. "Bye."

My hand broke free of my will and lingered awkwardly in front of us. I don't know what it had planned to do. Stroke his cheek? Pat his shoulder? I shuddered. Forcing my hand back to the side of my body, I turned and walked away, back to the Burrow. Back to more pain.

A/N: Hmm, so why did Draco react so badly? Review, and you'll find out:)

Sorry for the uncalled for hiatus, I didn't plan to be so inactive but I've been caught up in a lot of things, and there are so many school projects for me to worry about. Hope you guys all have a good spring break! Unless you're out of school already, then lucky you. Hopefully I'll get more done this week, as I have it off.

- laffytaffy