Well Jane was the most popular. Works for me! So Thor/Jane will be a minor side pairing. :)
Tony's apartment was quite modest for something owned by... well, Tony. But it was palatial by college student standards, with two bedrooms and bathrooms. One bedroom door was already shut by the time he strolled inside; either Bruce was the private type who did not like snoopers in his room, or he was already inside and asleep.
Tony's room was an homage to bands, comics, cars, and miscellaneous science. He couldn't help but sneak a peak at the comic book collection on his shelves, wondering what alternate-universe-him read. Captain America? Ha. Nope, only fictional superheroes. Steve was probably a fellow student, no Cap in this world. (And that was a dangerous line of thinking. Steve wasn't around back in the '40s. Nor was Howard, he was at least twenty years younger, just like Tony. They both had such an impact on the war, how had everything worked out without them? Well, obviously it had, no use pondering too long...)
He was too worn out to spend any more time "studying". He really should look up Bruce at least, so he would know where he stood if he ran into his roommate. But he felt exhausted, physically and mentally, like he had run a marathon while pondering some of the unsolved mathematical problems. It was really starting to sink in that he was in an entirely different world, far from everyone and everything he knew. That the only person on the planet he knew was Loki. Whom he was going to have to train to act passably human, all while pretending to be in love with him.
Wanting to cry, Tony shucked off his clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor like a good adolescent, and crawled into bed.
Sleep was a long time coming.
Tony still managed to avoid his roommate in the morning. He was in a grumpy mood, so that was definitely a good thing. Peeking in though the window was the dull, bleak light of an overcast day, so that matched nicely. After a quick shower and shave (and wasn't that weird, he almost wanted to try shaving without a mirror) he yanked some clothes on and hurried out, despite the strong desire to just stay in bed wrapped in a cocoon of blankets. Permanently. And definitely not return to Loki.
But that's where he found himself a short time later. Nobody answered his knock, so Tony let himself in. Still no Clint, so yay for no roommates to deal with for either of them. But then Tony remembered why Clint would be avoiding his and Loki's room, and his stomach gave an unpleasant flip. He was glad he had not eaten breakfast yet.
"What do you want?" Loki growled. He was sprawled on his bed atop the covers, still dressed in rumpled clothes, hair spread all over the pillow.
"Looking good." Tony chuckled at the sight. And wow, no wonder the god used so much product, his hair was a frizzy mess. "We're meeting with Thor, remember? Nine thirty, Magnolia Cafe." Bless this alternate God of Thunder for being specific and not saying 'the usual time and place', or something equally unhelpful. "Not that we need to get there ASAP. You're with me, I've never been known for being punctual." And bless this alternate Tony for not being too dissimilar from his real self, so they only had to concentrate on Loki's persona. "But you do need to pretty yourself up, and pull your shit together, because you need to remember how to act pleasant."
"All I need to do is-"
"Shut up and get dressed." Tony rummaged through Loki's clothing, selecting a halfway decent outfit. He owned a lot of black, shocking. "And brush your hair..." He tossed the clothing onto the bed, folding his arms. Loki remained unmoving for a long, awkward stretch. "What?" Tony finally said.
"Get out." Loki leveled a death glare at Tony that should have burned greenish holes in his skin.
"You are not getting out of this breakfast! You're the one who said we have to-"
"I am coming. And you are waiting for me outside, your voice makes me want to tear my ears off."
"Whatever." No point in arguing. Tony stepped out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Again. They had barely exchanged two words today and already they were annoyed with each other. Loki had apparently awakened in an even worse mood than Tony. What the hell was he grumpy about, anyway? Oh no, he'd been taken away from family he hated, and a prison. Oh, or whatever distant planet he had been fleeing to, to live out his long life in a strange world as a criminal on the run.
Maybe he just wasn't a morning person.
So Tony waited, nothing much to look at besides walls and doors. If Loki took much longer, he might have to wander down to the end of the hall to inspect the bulletin board. One of the lights was flickering and feeding Tony's growing headache and tempting him to fix it. He turned to hide his face whenever anybody walked by, not wishing to be recognized and obligated to chitchat. It was early enough, though, that nobody else was in the mood to stop and chat.
Where was his suit, Tony couldn't help but wonder, after being left alone with his brain for too long. Had it been left empty in that warehouse, freaking the hell out of whoever found it? What about the clothes he had been wearing, did those remain behind, too? Was everyone out looking for Tony's naked corpse? Or... had Loki's clothing remained there, too? Well shit! If that were the case, everyone back home would think the two of them were sleeping together, too! Hopefully all clothing items left behind were floating in limbo somewhere.
Loki finally emerged, after about forever. He did clean up nice, Tony had to give him that, though the casual human clothes still looked odd on him. Tony never expected he would think that leather and metal would look normal on somebody... Come to think of it, aside from yesterday when he hadn't been paying attention, Tony had never really seen what Loki's body looked like before. But there it was, in all its slender, denim pantsed glory.
Hey, if he had to pretend to be sleeping with the guy, he may as well appreciate the goods...
"Where are we going?" Loki muttered.
"Aren't we Little Miss Sunshine." Tony turned to stride down the hall, as if walking quickly would get him away from the god. "It's within walking distance, you don't have to stress about sharing a cab with me."
They ventured out of the dorm in silence, both pretending the other wasn't there. This... was not going to work. Loki was not a people person, to say the least. If they really were doomed in the event of a failed attempt at pretending to be their young human selves, Loki was going to get them all killed in no time. Tony had known Loki was full of hot air when he bragged about what a good actor he was. When acting involved being a nice, likable person, no way.
The stony silence pervaded as they walked, far apart, and Tony started to wonder if he should... hold Loki's hand or something. He glanced over at the brooding god, and decided against it. Not all couples spent every second of the day glued to each other. If for some reason somebody actually stopped them and asked why they were walking grumpily far away from each other, Tony could say... that they were tired. Because they were up all night. And he would wink. That would stop further questions!
But nobody stopped them, and they made the awkward trek to the Magnolia Cafe in relative peace.
Tony pushed open the door, smile tugging at his lips as he stepped into the cute restaurant. It was cozy and warm, wooden floors and linen tablecloths. Their dining companion was easy to spot, towering over the other patrons. Actually... Thor didn't look all that different. Not quite as buff, but what mortal was? Face a smidge younger. Hair a bit shorter. Loki tensed slightly, and Tony winced, waiting for the explosion.
"Brother. Over here." The voice was soft and pleasant and almost unrecognizable, considering whose mouth it was coming from. Tony turned to Loki in surprise, then did a double take, jaw nearly dropping. Loki was smiling. It was not a smile that promised pain in the near future; it was a smile that promised sunshine and kittens. Mischievous kittens, possibly planning to pee under the bed and shred the curtains, but kittens nevertheless. Loki turned to meet Tony's stare, and his smile grew. He reached over and took Tony's hand, lacing their fingers together.
What.
"Ah, there you are." Thor stood like the gentleman he was, grinning broadly. As the pair approached, Thor reached out and wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulders, pulling him into a hug. Tony was torn between gaping at the sight, and pulling his phone out to take a picture. Though Loki did appear to stiffen in Thor's friendly embrace, he otherwise didn't break character, smiling warmly.
"Hey, good to see you again." Regaining his composure, Tony clapped Thor on the shoulder before sitting at the cute table and snagging a menu. As the brothers sat, he wondered how much Loki knew about Earthly food, and if he should have given him a lesson... He did have to eat, didn't he? Surely he ate during his little invasion. The thought of Loki, in all his horned splendor, stopping for a bite to eat with his brainwashed minions was not helping Tony keep a straight face.
There was already orange juice and coffee waiting for them, so Tony eagerly helped himself to the steaming mug. Loki followed suit, albeit much slower, and his expression as he struggled not to make a disgusted face was hilarious. Thor – his Thor back home – had taken to coffee rather quickly, but the same could not be said of Loki.
"Sooo, what to get..." Tony said. He flashed a grin at Loki over the top of the menu. "You should get some pastries, hon. You could stand to fatten up that skinny ass of yours."
His eyes flashed dangerously, but Loki's only other reaction was a laugh and a friendly swat on Tony's shoulder. "Very funny." By the time Thor turned to beam at them, Loki's eyes were soft and sweet again. Holy shit, he looked cute like this... How did the master of evil smirks and murderous grins have such an adorable smile?
An attractive waitress – who looked barely eighteen, but Tony reminded himself that his body was twenty so it was totally okay – stopped by their table, taking Thor's and Tony's orders. Loki casually handed his menu to her. "I have no idea what I want. Order for me, Thor?"
"Cute," Tony murmured as Thor did so as if it were the most normal thing in the world. It seemed Loki did not trust his own boyfriend to order something tasty for him. Tony hoped Thor ordered something gross for his brother, but alas, all three of them wound up with perfectly normal breakfasts. They dug in, and Loki expressed no surprise or disgust at anything he tried.
"So how are you?" Thor asked between bites, directing the question at both of them. Now there was a loaded question... How were they, ha. Tony was eating breakfast in a cute little restaurant with a phony cheery homicidal maniac. Everything was amazing! Maybe tomorrow he'd have brunch with Stane!
"Fine, of course," Loki said, eating with a bit more finesse than his brother. Maybe that was always the case. And really? Tony could picture it. A vast dining hall full of rowdy vikings, food and drink flying everywhere, while Loki rolled his eyes and picked daintily at his food in the middle of it. Yeah, that was a weird thought...
"Yup, same old same old," Tony added. "How was your date?" Because Thor had helpfully tweeted about having a date yesterday.
It didn't seem possible, but Thor brightened even more. "Oh, Jane and I had a great time. You know that little fondue place?" Now there was a Captain America story Tony didn't need to be reminded about. "It's so romantic. You know, if you drop your food in the pot, you're supposed to kiss! You should go there."
"That sounds nice," Loki said, lowering his eyes shyly.
"We saw a couple get engaged!"
"How sweet," Tony said. He gave Loki a look that he hoped conveyed Stop overacting. "I'm thinking of dragging Loki to do some karaoke one of these days." He grinned, while Loki raised an eyebrow.
Thor chuckled. "You should wait until he can legally drink in the bars. I think it will take quite a bit of alcohol for him to sing in public." And there was the understanding dawning in Loki's eyes.
"He'd sing for me. Wouldn't you, babe?" Tony gave him a smile that would probably have most women naked by now.
"Hmm. Maybe with the right incentive..." Loki's expression grew downright wicked.
"Okay!" Thor quickly intervened. "That's enough of that line of thinking." He cleared his throat, turning to Tony. "New topic. Any new projects?"
New projects. Please be talking about engineering. "Of course!" He grinned, lifting his coffee cup in a salute. "Always. Why, I've been thinking about flying suits of-" He cut off abruptly, stifling a wince, when somebody kicked him hard under the table.
Thor didn't notice the domestic violence taking place right under his nose, and was laughing. "Very funny."
"Haha, yeah, funny." Would it be worth the repercussions to kick Loki back? Probably not... Now what was something safe to build at this time? He was afraid to think of any new projects lest they be something he never would have considered at this age, in this world. Well, he'd made Dummy in school... "Helpful robot arms. Wave of the future, we'll never need human assistants."
"That's a good idea!" Thor grinned. "I want one when you're done."
"I'll give you a friends and family discount."
More friendly laughter, and they fell silent again, finishing their meals. Thor was unsurprisingly the first to clear his plate, and worked on a few cups of coffee while waiting for his companions. He occasionally chatted about nothing in particular, with Loki murmuring responses and nodding along like a doting little brother. Tony just ate, wondering if it was really the Twilight Zone they had ended up in.
Tony quickly stood once they were all finished, hoping nobody wanted to linger for more coffee and chitchat. To his relief, the others stood, too. Tony tossed down some money. "This was nice!"
Thor nodded. "Well, I'll see you at your place tonight, then," he said, and Tony blinked. His place? Did he have a to-do? Nobody had mentioned anything online about a party at his place, so maybe something more casual... "Whose turn is it to pick?"
"Uh..."
"Mine, of course," Loki said with a more normal (for him) smirk.
Thor chuckled. "You've had two turns recently. No, I think it's Steve's turn."
I knew Steve was here! "I think you're right," Tony mused, still not really sure what they were talking about.
"I'm sure he'll pick another classic." Thor shrugged. "Could be worse. You make the popcorn, I'll bring a pizza."
Aha. Movie night. Gotcha. "Yup. See you then."
"I'll give you a lift to the dorms," Thor said, nudging Loki.
"Oh, yes." Loki's eyes flicked between the two of them. "I'll be with you in a moment. Just let me speak with Tony a moment..." Wait, had he addressed him as Tony before?
They stepped outside, Tony all ready for Loki to ask for advice on dealing with Thor by himself. He would fret about saying the wrong thing, using the wrong slang, maybe ask Tony to accompany them just this once...
Instead, Loki grabbed Tony by the throat again and slammed him against the wall, all cheeriness vanished like smoke. "Listen to me-"
"Let go," Tony gasped. "Someone'll see, you idiot!"
Loki pressed closer, if anything squeezing tighter. Tony grimaced, struggling to draw in a breath. "If anyone spies us, they will think we are an amorous couple and move on." His eyes narrowed. "Do I need to reiterate the situation? Do I need to remind you that we cannot alter this timeline?" Tony could do nothing but shake his head. "You will not build a suit of armor. Or even mention it. Nor will you build energy sources, or ridiculous buildings with your name on it. You will do nothing about your traitorous family friend. You will not so much as joke about any forbidden topics with the people here. Because if you do, and we survive, then I will get us safely home, where I will no longer have to be at all restrained regarding what I do to you. Do you understand?" He loosened his grip enough for Tony to speak.
"I got it," Tony growled with a grateful breath. "Now let go." He returned Loki's glare. "Keep in mind that you being caught abusing me would also not go over well, so you might want to avoid that, too."
"Brother?" Thor said from behind them. "Are you, er, ready?"
Loki promptly stepped away from Tony, smiling brightly. "I'm ready. Let's go."
Tony had a brief moment of panic, wondering if Thor had seen Loki's violent side. Judging from the light blush highlighting his face... nope. The bastard was right, Thor had just assumed they were making out and didn't look too closely. He was so used to them being cute and amorous with each other, he had managed to overlook Loki's hand around Tony's neck.
"We'll see you tonight, Tony." And Loki, mere moments after wringing Tony's neck, leaned forward and tenderly pressed their lips together. With a grin, he joined Thor, and the pair headed for his car.
Tony blinked after them. It felt like a long time before he was able to function properly enough to leave.
