Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Rizzoli & Isles.

A/N: Thanks to my lovely beta for this story – lollabie.


Four


Maura wandered around the house, tidying the spotless rooms with frustrated energy.

I guess I have two options here, I can support Jane or I could move on entirely. She plumped the pillows of the couch, remembering all the times she and Jane had sat there. It brought her back to the accident, when everything had started to change. She and Jane had made up and she'd realised that her feelings ran deeper. She'd felt so much a part of the Rizzoli family and now…even Angela went on and on about Casey.

Whether or not I have these other confusing feelings doesn't take away from the fact that she is my best friend. She dusted the television, rarely used except when Jane wanted to watch baseball. Everything reminded her of Jane, her whole life was filled with connections and memories.

It's so painful. It physically hurts to be around her. Maura put the last few dishes in the dishwasher, Jane's favourite mug included.

Seriously, stop doing this to yourself. You have two choices Maura - friends or nothing at all. You are going crazy. She laughed out loud, "I'm talking to myself." She giggled again, "And I just talked to myself out loud."

Angela poked her head in the back door, "Maura honey, are you all right? It's late."

Maura set a smile on her face, "Of course, good night Angela, thank you."

She poured herself a glass of wine, a cheap Californian that Jane had chosen, and sat on the couch staring at the blank screen, sobs tearing her apart.


She let a couple days pass, saying the bare minimum to Jane but that was just as painful. Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

She was all alone.

She needed to talk to someone about how she felt and Jane was her only real friend.

She headed to the café and picked up two coffees. She went upstairs and saw her friend, her friend, through the glass. Her head was bent in concentration, dark hair spilling against the white papers and her foot was tapping. That one glance set Maura's heart racing but she set her face into a sedate but cheerful smile and walked up beside Jane's desk, putting the coffee down beside the other woman's hand.

Jane looked up in surprise, "Any news for me?"

Maura panicked for a second or two, wondering how Jane could have guessed, "No, no I have nothing new to report to you. Uh…what about you?"

"Still nothing important." She reached for the coffee, pulling her hand back for just a moment but then wrapping her fingers around the warm paper cup.

"Oh, that's too bad."

"Yeah, it is." Jane's eyes were fixed on her own. She wanted badly to look away but she told herself that it was cowardly and she didn't, only tried to keep them void of emotion.

Maura tapped her fingers restlessly against the travel mug she had filled for herself, a nervous habit that she hated. "I'm sorry about the other day."

"What?"

"You're my best friend no matter what is going on in my own life and I need to support you."

Jane nodded, "Damn right you should."

Maura tightened her fingers against the stainless steel, "I will. Would you like to go out for drinks later and tell me everything?" She leaned forward conspiratorially, "And I mean everything."

"I…Yes. Let's do that." Jane grinned and took a large gulp of the coffee.


"We talked about high school, previous relationships, the force, the war, Hoyt, my parents' separation, you… We've done a lot of talking and I feel closer to him than I ever have before."

"Me?" That was the last thing that Maura had heard.

"Yeah, you're pretty much my only girl friend."

Girlfriend.

"And you're mine." Though I wish for more.

Jane took a sip of her wine and sighed dramatically, whether it was from the taste of the unaccustomed wine or the next topic to come out of Jane's mouth. "We were making out like we're in high school too."

"I didn't think you two were together in high school."

"No, just like teenagers."

"See, I never really understood that phrase. What does it really mean?"

"Maura," Jane snapped her fingers in front of Maura's face, "I'm telling you everything and you are caught up-"

"I just don't understand sometimes, the literal meaning means so many different-"

"We've been doing a lot of kissing."

"Oh."

"I sit on his lap so he doesn't have to stand and his braces don't get in the way. I think it's sexy."

The smile on Maura's face cracked and she let her hair swing forward. The unbidden image of sitting on Jane's lap flitted across the edges of her vision.

"Sexy."Maura managed the single word.

"Ok, I thought things were going well here. What's going on with you?" Jane crossed her arms, signalling the server for a beer.

"Sorry." Maura didn't elaborate.

"Hey, if you're here to support me, then I'll be here for you. Talk to me, Maura." Jane reached a hand across the table and touched Maura's wrist.

"I… I can't tell you." She pulled her hands back, she couldn't hide enough with Jane right there.

"Maura, you can tell me anything."

"I can't tell you about this." She took a deep breath," Not yet anyways."

Jane looked quizzically across the table."Ok, I'll be here. Always."


A/N: Thank you for the suggestions – especially the one for Maura to go out on a date. Next chapter :)

P.S. My new one-shot is sad and lonely ;) I would greatly appreciate your feedback!