Chapter 4- Soldier
Author's Note- Hey everybody! Thanks for all the awesome reviews last chapter, you guys are amazing! This is going to be a really long chapter, sorry. It's time to finally learn about Will. Here's the chapter, enjoy! ;)
Thursday and Friday were a blur for Will. He barely saw Emma with the exception of handing her the journal back on Friday after the final bell rang. Will had wanted to talk to her when he was giving her back the journal but Terri had whisked him away by the arm before he could even say anything. Will had sent Emma a quick text after his football game, saying that she could come over at eleven if she wanted. Emma said that that was fine. It was now ten-fifty and Will was rushing around the house, making sure that it was decently clean. "Is Emma coming over again?" Jewell asked, looking up from her newspaper.
"Yes, Grandma. I told you that last night, remember?" Will reminded her, plopping down on the sofa.
"Of course I remember, I was just checking that you did," Jewell smiled. Will rolled his eyes but laughed anyways. "So, tell me more about this Emma girl."
"Well, I don't really know much about her," Will said, wondering why his grandma was so hung up on him and Emma lately.
"Then how come you're always talking about her now? After two tutoring sessions?" Jewell challenged, raising an eyebrow.
Will blushed. "She's really been helping me out with my homework."
"Is that all? I think you have a little crush," Jewell smirked. Will rolled his eyes but he could feel his cheeks turning red. "Yup, you're cheeks are turning red, honey."
"That's because she's my friend and…you don't think of your friends that way. It would be weird," Will stammered. "Plus, I have a girlfriend!"
Jewell laughed at her grandson getting all flustered. "Sweetie, calm down. I was just taking note of your…budding friendship," she assured him.
Will nodded, seeing Emma's Honda appear in the driveway. "She's here!" Will exclaimed, jumping out of his seat and rushing to the door.
"Budding friendship, indeed," Jewell smiled. Will ignored her comment and opened the door, happily.
"Hi Emma," he greeted, taking her backpack as she stepped inside.
"Hi Will," Emma replied, slipping off her ballet flats.
"You look nice today," Will complimented. Jewell scoffed loudly from the den and Will felt the tips of his ears heat up. "Don't mind her."
Emma smiled, sensing his embarrassment. "You look pretty good yourself," she admitted. Will was wearing a white ringer t-shirt with blue trim and gray Nike sweatpants. Emma was dressed in dark blue skinny jeans and a green long sleeve shirt.
"So, want to go to my room and start?" Will suggested, walking down the hall.
"Of course," Emma agreed, as Jewell walked out of the den to greet her.
"Why hello, Emma!" Jewell exclaimed, smiling.
"Hi Jewell, it's nice to see you again," Emma replied, politely.
"Same goes for you." Jewell glanced at Will and winked. "Well, I'll let you two go ahead."
"Okay," Emma agreed, following Will into his room. The guitar was out again but this time Emma didn't say anything about that. Will's football jersey was lying on his bed, he was number seven. Will sat down on his bed and Emma sat down on a bean bag.
"So, how was your rest of the week?" Will asked, smiling. "Do anything fun?"
Emma looked up at him, caught off guard by his question. Truthfully, tutoring him was the only fun she'd had this entire week. "Um, no not really. How was your football game? Did you win?" Emma replied, kindly.
Will's boyish charm kicked in as he replied. "Yeah! We won by a lot. It was 54-12, we pounded Caramel High."
Emma noticed that his hazel eyes lit up as he spoke about his football game. It made Emma wish she could've come. She had never been to a high school football game before because of the huge crowd and all the bacteria. "How many touchdowns did you score?" she questioned.
"I ran it in twice and I threw it in three times," Will said, humbly. He acted like he didn't even score at all. "But it was really a team effort. Ryan and Jensen were amazing last night," he added.
Emma laughed. "You were obviously the star last night."
"Maybe just a little bit," Will mumbled, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Would you ever like to come to one of the games? I'm pretty tight with the quarterback, could get you some front row seats," Will offered, playfully.
Emma laughed again. Will's kindness was to no end. "Um, maybe. I don't know…with my OCD and all. Uh, you know, big crowds, lots of germs," Emma stuttered.
Will nodded, understanding. "No, no, I totally get it. I'm not trying to force you to go. I just think it would be nice if I could score a touchdown and then point to you up in the stands," Will admitted.
Emma blushed and Will bit his lip, wondering if he said too much. "That would be nice," Emma agreed. It was really sweet that he had said that. "How about this? I'll go to a game after you sing me a song. That way it's a win-win," Emma suggested.
Will's face fell for a quick second. "How is it a win-win?"
"We both can overcome our fears," Emma explained, nodding.
"I-I'm not afraid of playing for you," Will stammered, rubbing the back of his necklace.
Emma raised an eyebrow. "What would you like to call it, tough guy?"
Will could feel his cheeks and ears heating up. "I don't know," he mumbled.
"It's not a big deal," Emma assured him. "We both have things to overcome and we're going to help each other, okay?"
Will nodded. "Okay."
Emma smiled and reached into her backpack, producing the notebook. "I have to talk to you about something," Emma mentioned.
"About what?" Will questioned, smiling mischievously.
"Your entries in the notebook I gave you." Emma flipped to the first page. "Not that I didn't like them or anything but I want to make sure it's not distracting you even more."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Will smiled.
Emma cleared her throat. "Let's read the first entry, shall we?" she joked. Will smirked and leaned forward, holding his chin in his hands. "Hi Emma. I'm in 1st hour science right now and it's so boring. I'm writing to tell you that I have no idea how to find an object's force. Well, at least I think that's what Mrs. Danko's talking about. I really can't wait until Saturday for tutoring. Also, I really want cookies right now. Science makes me hungry. –Will," Emma paused. "That was just in first hour Thursday. It looks like you wrote to me every hour on both days. Most of the entries had nothing to do with school, like this one. Hey. I really wish you were in my history class right now. It is so boring! Terri keeps shooting me looks, I have no idea why. I can tell you one thing, when I grow up I'm never going to teach history. Ever. What's the point of talking about dead people? I'd rather be talking to you. I think talking about dead people with you is more fun than sitting here. Would you like mac and cheese for lunch on Saturday? Also, what do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor? Or something smart probably. I'll be lucky to snag a job at McDonald's. Terri's glaring at me again. –Will."
Will tapped his chin. "Now that I think of it, you'd be a great guidance counselor, Em."
Emma smiled, sweetly at him. "Well, thank you, Will but you're missing the point. You can't be writing in this journal all class," Emma explained.
Will rolled his eyes. "I was practicing writing."
"You spelled about half the words wrong, Will."
"I did?" Will sighed.
"Yeah but I could still understand what you were writing so that was an improvement," Emma assured him. "Anyways, I do appreciate the friendly notes. But I have a compromise."
"Compromise," Will repeated.
Emma nodded. "It's an agreement so that both people get what they want. So, you can write whatever you want as long as you do have one thing that you don't understand in class in the note. So, like the first note would be okay. Agreed?"
Will grinned. "Fine but I might be not understanding stuff more often now."
Emma rolled her eyes, laughing. "Very funny, mister."
"I agree as long as you reply," Will suggested.
"What do you mean?" Emma asked.
"I'll write to you during the day and I can give it to you after school. Then you can read what I wrote and write your own stuff to me. Then the next day, you give it back to me in homeroom," Will explained.
Emma smiled. Will Schuester might already be the best friend she ever had. Not that she had had many friends in the past. "That sounds fun," Emma whispered, lost in her own thoughts about Will for a moment. "Well, do you want to get started on your homework?"
"Sure." Will pulled out his copy of Romeo and Juliet for English. "Why do we have to read this when everyone already knows the end?" he asked, handing the book to Emma.
"Because it's a classic," Emma laughed.
"Do you think that you would ever die for someone out of love?" Will wondered, looking at her with adoring hazel eyes.
Emma thought for a second. "I don't know, it's a pretty crazy thing to do."
"I would," Will admitted. "In a heartbeat."
Emma nodded, she knew he would. Will was just that kind of person. "I know you would. You're a hopeless romantic, Will."
"Is that good or bad?" Will smiled.
"It's wonderful," Emma confessed.
"Well, in that case, let's get reading." Will opened the book and began reading out loud but Emma was still thinking about what he had just said. Emma knew that in the future if she was someone like Will or even the small chance that she was with Will, she would die for him.
"Come on, Will," Emma pushed. "Just sound it out." They were in the middle of doing his social studies homework and Will had been trying to read the word 'psychopath' for the past ten minutes.
"It's not that easy, Emma," Will grumbled.
"Yeah, it is. That's how everyone does it," Emma challenged. She regretted the words as soon as they tumbled from her mouth. Emma knew that Will was a bit slower than everyone with his schoolwork.
"Well, I'm not like everyone!" Will cried. "Can't you see? I'm freakin' retarded!" Will jumped up from his bed and storm out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
"Will, wait," Emma called but it was too late. Will was already out in the hall or wherever he went.
Emma waited for five minutes before walking out of the room to find him. She walked into the den first to see if Jewell had spotted him. "Hey Jewell. Um, have you, by any chance, seen where Will went?" Emma asked.
"Poor boy's in the bathroom, probably just real angry or frustrated," Jewell replied.
Emma's hand flew to her mouth, concerned for Will. "I-I didn't mean to make him mad…oh God, I'm such an idiot."
"No, you're not, honey," Jewell smiled. "What he's going through has nothing to do with you."
"I'm not following," Emma murmured.
"Today's a pretty rough day for him, has been for the past two years," Jewell explained. "He might get a little more frustrated than usual."
"Why?" Emma wondered, quietly.
"You should hear it from him, not me. Go on," Jewell suggested. Emma glanced down the hall. "It's the second door on the left, dear."
"Thanks," Emma mumbled, rushing to the bathroom. She knocked on the door twice. "Will…it's me. Will you please come out? I'm really sorry."
Will walked out with a sad smile on his face. His eyes were red rimmed and Emma was shocked. Had he been crying? "'s okay," Will mumbled, walking back into his room with her following close behind.
"No, it's not. I really…I wasn't thinking at all…you're not retarded," Emma apologized.
Will nodded. "It's fine, Em. I wasn't mad at you. And I should be the one who's sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you back there."
Emma noticed that the spark in his hazel eyes has disappeared and Emma wanted it back more than anything right now. She knew something was wrong. "Why were you mad? You can tell me anything, remember? No judgment, just a friend you can count on," Emma reminded him.
Will rubbed his eyes with the pads of his palms and ran a hand through his undisciplined curls. "You don't want to hear about my issues, Em," Will commented, willing himself to pull it together. "Emma…" Will started.
"Yeah?" Emma muttered, wishing he would just tell her what was going on.
"What are your parents like?" Will asked, offering a half smile.
Emma was a bit surprised at the strange question but answered anyways. "Um, well, my dad's really nice. He's pretty funny and never strict. Uh…he has red hair like me but has deep blue eyes."
"Where does he work?" Will wondered, a faraway look in his eyes.
"He works at a bank. I don't know exactly what he does there," Emma laughed.
Will smiled a bit and rubbed his left eye. "And your mom?"
"She has blond hair and green eyes…don't quite know how I ended up with brown ones. Well, she's really nice and she's a good cook…like you. Um, she's a stay at home mom, always has been. That's about all that I can think of," Emma explained, smiling. Emma was a bit unsure of Will's current mood. It seemed like she was walking on eggshells around him.
"That sounds like a great family," Will concluded, finally making eye contact with her. "Have any siblings?"
"Yes, two actually. I have a younger brother, James, who's in eighth grade. I also have an older sister, Katie, who's a senior at our high school," Emma replied. Will nodded, recognizing them as the two names in her phone.
"They sound fun," Will mused, smiling sadly.
"Will, what's wrong?" Emma asked. "Please tell me."
"Nothing's wrong, Em. I just wanted to know about your family," Will replied, softly.
Emma made a realization. If he wanted to know about her family so much, maybe it was because he had issues with his own. Come to think of it, Emma had never seen his parents and never heard of any siblings. All she knew about was his grandma, Jewell. "Will, where are your parents?" Emma whispered.
Will mumbled something incoherent as he buried his face in his hands.
"What did you say?" Emma asked, sweetly.
Will took a deep breath. "My dad's in Iraq and I don't know where my mom is," he mumbled into his hands.
Emma froze. She expected that they were just workaholics or something but Will's answer puzzled her. If his dad was in Iraq, he was probably a soldier. As for his mom, well, that was a whole different question. Emma got up on the bed next to Will and placed a small hand on his shoulder. "Um, I'm sorry to hear that but what exactly happened?" Emma wondered. "Not to be nosy and all but sometimes it just helps to get it all out," she quickly added.
Will freed his face from his hands and looked up at her, pain floating in a deep sea of hazel. He hesitated and Emma gave his shoulder a squeeze. "W-well, uh, it's a long story," Will replied, quietly.
"I'm here for you," Emma assured him. Never had she imagined that Will would be sitting next to her, broken and lost.
"Okay," Will started. He inhaled a shaky breath and looked down at the ground for a moment. "My parents met in college and hit it off right away. They met in their junior year and got married right after they both graduated. My dad wasn't really sure what he wanted to do with his life and a few weeks after the wedding, he decided to enlist."
"In the army?" Emma interjected.
Will nodded. "In the army. My mom wasn't too sure about it at first but they were in love and she agreed. A week after he left, my mom found out she was pregnant with me. My dad was allowed a two week leave every six months but he was able to come home when I was born. They thought it wouldn't be so bad with him going back and forth all the time. He was allowed to stay for two months when I was born but after that he left. My mom did a great job with me and she had my grandma to help her out. She's always lived with us; Jewell's my dad's mom. So, we were always a bit behind financially but we pulled through. I missed my dad of course but I was always marking the days on the calendar until his next leave," Will explained.
"That…I'm so sorry," Emma muttered, no other words seeming appropriate.
"Don't be, it's out of my control. In sixth grade, when I was eleven, my mom found out she was pregnant with my younger brother, Miles," Will continued, the faraway look returning to his eyes.
Emma was shocked once more. Will had a younger brother? Then why hadn't she ever seen him around? "You have a little brother?" Emma repeated.
"Yeah," Will mumbled. "A few months after she had him, things began to fall apart. My mom and dad started arguing even though they were millions of miles away. She wanted him to quit the army; he could've got an honorable discharge or something. My dad didn't want to. He thought he was doing what was right for the country by serving but my mom had had enough. She no longer looked forward to his letters or rare phone calls or even his leaves. I was confused, I was only eleven. I didn't know why mom was suddenly always mad at dad. By the summer of sixth grade, she broke."
Emma rubbed her hand in circles on Will's back. She knew it couldn't be easy for him to tell her all this. "I'm sorry," she whispered again.
"I was the man of the house, Em. It was no longer her looking after Miles and I, it was me. She would barely talk to us; just hole up in her room all day. She didn't go to sports games anymore or take us places. She quit her part-time job at Sheets-n-Things, leaving us with less income than before. I was doing everything; cooking, cleaning, watching over Miles, her, and Jewell. My grandma helped, she did all she could but she's doesn't have the greatest health. She bought us groceries and I would do just about everything else, Em. Do you know what it's like to be eleven and care for a baby and your mom? All while knowing that your dad is constantly in danger?" Will continued, sighing.
"No and I wish you didn't have to know either," Emma whispered, wrapping her arm around Will.
"It was horrible. It continued all throughout seventh grade. I was the kid whose parents never showed at conferences, whose parents didn't even know the PTO existed, the kid who hated when we made stuff for Father's Day and Mother's Day," Will paused, leaning into Emma's arm a bit. "In eighth grade, things got a bit better. The public library let me get a job there even though I was only thirteen. I worked Monday-Friday before school. They let me in real early and I'd sort out the books for them. The librarians loved me and they paid me ten bucks an hour. I worked a few hours on Saturday and another few on Sunday too. Usually made over a hundred dollars a week. That really helped. But my mom was getting worse. The only time she seemed half alive was when my dad came back on leave, it's the only time she would smile all year. My dad knew things were bad but he still stayed in the army. He'd tell me 'you're the man of the house now, buddy.' If only he knew how much of a scared little boy hid behind that man," Will said. Emma wrapped her arm around him tighter, letting him fall into her shoulder.
"You were…still are…a man, Will. You're a soldier, Will, a real one," Emma replied, caressing his face as he shut his eyes.
"That's what she used to call me," Will mumbled.
"Who?" Emma asked.
"My mom. She'd say 'you're my soldier, Will.' Or just call me it like it was my first name. 'Soldier, how was basketball?' she'd ask. I loved when she called me that. It made me feel like I was a real soldier not a little kid. She gave me the nickname when I was four and kept calling me it all throughout my life, no matter how old I was," Will smiled. Emma smiled, knowing that Will could smile at this made her happy.
"That's cute," Emma replied.
Will nodded. "Ready for the worst part?" Will asked, forcing himself to make a joke.
Emma grimaced, nodding. Although she wasn't really sure if she was. "Go ahead."
"In ninth grade, a month after I turned fourteen, it happened. Um, it was two years ago today. Exactly a month after I turned fourteen, she did it. I still don't know why. Maybe she thought that once I was in high school, I'd be able to handle it. I wasn't, still don't think I am. I woke up one morning…" Will took in a shaky breath and looked away from Emma. "She was gone." Will mentally cursed himself for letting his voice break on the last word. He didn't –no couldn't –cry in front of Emma. Emma heard the crack in his voice and pulled him closer, as if to stay that she'd never let go of him. "She, she, my…mom took Miles and left us. I don't know why. She didn't tell us where she went, just left a note on the fridge saying 'Will –I love you. You're a great kid and I'm really sorry. Take care of your grandma for me. I know you'll be fine; you always have been a soldier. My soldier. Love, Mom.' I didn't know what to do. I told my grandma and I missed school that entire week. Jewell called the police and they looked for her and Miles but couldn't find them. My dad came home for a month and stayed with us. But he still had to go back to the army. It seemed like everybody was leaving me…everyone. The police eventually dropped the case and Jewell is now my legal guardian. I've been taking care of her and I for two years now. My dad's sister helps us pay the bills and we're doing okay just like we always have. Just getting by. My dad still comes home every six months but he never stays. It's okay, I've got used to it by now. No one stays in my life, people tend to just come and go," Will said, softly.
Emma ran her hand through his chestnut curls and wished she could do something or anything to stop his pain. "I…I'm so sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be," Will mumbled, his bottom lip quivering. "I-I just don't get it. She took Miles but not me…I don't understand how you can pick one child over another. We still haven't even heard from either of them and Miles is six now. I know that I wasn't the best kid but I tried, really did. But I guess…I wouldn't pick me either."
Emma's heart broke at Will's words. "Will…I would pick you. I just want you to know that. You're amazing; don't ever think that you're not good enough."
"You're the first person I told, Em. No one else knows any of this. No one, not even Terri. So, um, keep this between us?" Will admitted.
"Of course," Emma murmured. Emma waited for tears to fall from Will's glassy eyes but none did. Emma knew that his mom was right, he was a soldier. Emma cradled Will in her arms and whispered sweet nothings in his ear for almost thirty minutes before Will sat up.
"Emma," Will started, a smile finally returned to his face. "You're the best friend I ever had."
"Same for me," Emma admitted. "But you've only known me for less than a week, Will."
"Well, fine then. It took me less than a week to find a best friend in you," Will smiled. Emma blushed, amazed at his kindness.
"Thank you," Emma grinned.
"No…thank you. For listening. And you know…making me feel better. I'm pretty sure that none of my other friends would've done that for me," Will admitted, the spark returning to his eyes.
Emma nodded. "Trust me, I know how it feels. I know how exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. To wait until everyone falls asleep so you can fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad that you just want it all to end. I know exactly how it feels."
Will looked up at her, wondering if he was that obvious. "Y-your OCD? Is that your reason?" he questioned.
"Always has been," Emma smiled weakly. "Sometimes I get so frustrated…like you but I remember that someone out there already has it worse…someone like you."
Will smiled and took Emma's hand. "I have an idea," he started.
"William! Emma! I made mac and cheese!" Jewell called.
Will shrugged. "Guess she made lunch for us, we have to eat first."
Emma laughed. "Let's go."
Lunch was enjoyable for everyone. Will, Emma, and even Jewell spent the entire time laughing and talking about the randomest things. This horrible day was actually becoming fun for Will. After lunch, Will and Emma offered to wash the dishes and Jewell went to take a nap. "Okay…here's my idea," Will smiled, wiping his wet hands on a towel. "But we need two pieces of paper and pens."
"Okay," Emma agreed. "Give me a second." A minute later, Emma dashed into the room, carrying loose leaf paper and two pens. "What's your great idea?"
Will took paper and a pen from her and took a seat at the kitchen table as Emma sat beside him. Will scribbled something on the top of his page and then handed it to Emma.
"Ten Reasons Why," Emma read. "What does that mean?"
"I think that anytime that either of us are feeling bad we should write down ten reasons. Ten reasons why things are good, ten things to live for, anything like that," Will explained.
"I'm impressed," Emma smiled. "That sounds great."
The two worked in silence for a few minutes before Will spoke up. "I'm done, are you?"
"Yup," Emma agreed. "Want to hear my list?"
"Of course," Will replied.
"Number one, there are still many books I haven't read," Emma declared.
Will laughed. "Smartie pants."
"What did you say?" Emma blushed.
"Nothing," Will smirked.
"Number two, Taylor Swift isn't done making music. Number three, I have a house. Number four, I have clothes. Number five, I have a loving family and friends. Number six, I haven't graduated from college yet. Number seven, I'm not a guidance counselor. Number eight, kids are starving right now. Number nine, people are entering the world as I speak. And number ten, someone out there needs me," Emma finished, smiling.
Will clapped. "Well done, Em."
"Your turn," Emma smiled.
"Number one, there are plenty of chocolate chip cookies in the world," Will announced as Emma laughed. "Number two, my grandma is still here. Number three, I haven't passed a math class since seventh grade. Number four, I haven't beat all the Mario games. Number five, people have it much worse than me. Number six, football season isn't over. Number seven, I haven't sung for you yet," Will paused and Emma blushed. "Number eight, my mom and Miles are still out there somewhere. Number nine, my dad's still fighting. Number ten, I have the amazing Emma Pillsbury as my best friend."
Emma's cheeks turned and deep scarlet and she laughed with Will about the last one. "I guess my list should be eleven things…I have the awesome Will Schuester as my best friend," Emma laughed.
"Thank you," Will smiled. "What do you want to do now?"
"Um," Emma started as her cell buzzed. Emma pulled out her iPhone to see that she had a text from her mom. "Ugh, my mom wants me home so that I can run errands with her," Emma groaned.
Will's face fell before he smiled again. "Bummer," he mumbled.
"Yeah," Emma agreed, picking up her list. The two of them walked to the front door and Emma put on her shoes and backpack, ready to go. "Well, I'll see you again on Monday," she said, as Will opened the door.
Will walked her to her car door and smiled at her. "See you Monday," Will replied.
"Yeah…" Emma mumbled.
"Well, do you have the journal?" Will asked, smiling.
"Of course," Emma grinned.
"I'll expect some entries by Monday," Will laughed.
"I think that can be arranged," Emma smirked. Before any of them could speak again, Emma wrapped her arms around Will and pulled him into a loving hug.
Will hugged her back immediately and it felt good. It felt good to know that Emma might just stay in his life for a little while. "It's all going to be okay, Soldier," Emma whispered into his chest.
So what did you think? Good or bad? Interesting or boring? Sorry this chapter was so long but I didn't want to break it into little bits and pieces. What did you guys think of Will's story? Was it really stupid? Please let me know in a review. I just spoke to my mom on Skype and she said that my grandpa's chemo went well and that he's doing better. Thanks for all the people who gave kind words about him in reviews, I really appreciate it. I'll try to update soon. R&R! ;)
