Clara took a long breath, eyes closed to the darkened bathroom around her. Cinnamon, Lavender, and something like Maple – maybe some sort of vanilla – wafted up her nostrils distractingly appetizing. Her flatmate had too many candles and scented bath gels and they were lovely, she thought to herself, but there was absolutely no synchronicity to their smells. Not that she minded, she enjoyed occasionally filling the tub with water just a touch too hot and soaking her tired and sore body in it.
She lifted a hand off her stomach and touched the spot at the center of her chest that ached, felt the scars that sat there waiting to remind her of a bit of the past she longed to forget. There were no mirrors in her room for that reason – no accidental glimpses of those scars, nor any of the others she knew lay scattered about her body, the rewards of war. She frowned, listening to the light crackling of bubbles around her as she tried to relax.
Her heart was thudding away and the aches were only growing more painful.
"Clara?" The light knock on the door accompanying the voice made her smile. Because Caroline made her smile – one of the very few people who could, aside from her mum and Gran. The woman on the other side of the door waited for her response, Clara knew, out of a fear she refused to speak aloud.
And Clara roused herself enough to answer, "Yeah, almost done."
There was a nervous laugh, a relieved laugh, Clara understood, as Caroline told her lightly, "No, no, you finish up – Lord knows you need it."
She smiled to herself as she lay in the tub, thinking about the blonde she knew would remain just a second longer than she needed outside of that door, out of concern. Caroline was always concerned about her – a good friend, she knew. Clara also knew they were hard to come by and she made a mental note to pick her up something nice the next chance she got to get out. It wasn't often – she was either working, dictating a grocery list to Caroline over her mobile, or trying her best to rest in their flat.
Groaning against a new pinch in her left hand, she pulled the plug on at the end of the tub with the toes of her right foot and then stood, reaching for a towel. Clara stood naked a moment, her hand to her chest, taking long breaths to try and calm the beating of her heart, but it remained a chaotic drum within her. With a sigh, she wrapped herself and moved out into the cooler air in the hall, glancing towards her flatmate's bedroom with an evil grin.
You want palpitations, she thought to herself, I'll give you something to be erratic about.
She moved stealthily down the hall, gripping the doorway with moist hands and for a moment she merely watched as Caroline continued to bop her head lightly to the music in her headphones as she sat in a unicorn onesie and sketched away in a notepad. Her flatmate was a young thing, a southerner from the States, abroad studying art in spite of the conditions ("the history here!" she once argued), and she reminded Clara that not everyone had been hardened by the war. With a sparkle in her bright eyes, Caroline could find wonder in the simplest thing, and she always wore that smile.
The one that warmed Clara's heart with its innocence.
The one she fell just a little bit in love with when she allowed herself to feel.
Rounding the corner into the bedroom, her body calmed because this was one of those moments. It was also one of those nights she needed the benefits they'd agreed to one drunken night that came with their friendship, one she guiltily took advantage of on occasion, knowing the woman before her carried more than a small crush on her. But Clara needed to feel human and she needed to feel normal despite the pull of her muscles and the chaos in her mind.
She gave Caroline's knee a small nudge, watched the other woman peer up at her curiously, just before the devious thought settled into her mind and she inched up to meet Clara halfway, their lips pressing lightly into one another. There was a rustle of paper as the notepad fell to the ground and she felt the soft fingertips that slid over her arms and curled around her back to pull her closer as they dropped down on the bed. She released a soft moan and felt Caroline's intake of breath as she found the zipper to her onesie and dragged it down over her, shifting her lips down to the other woman's collar and then trailing over every inch of new skin revealed to her.
Her towel came undone and she tugged it aside, inching back up to straddle her flat mate and grin down at her, earning a crooked smile in return as Caroline reached for her waist, her hands massaging at her flesh and then urging her back down atop her. Clara closed her eyes as she felt the roaming palms find her breasts and she groaned as Caroline pivoted her waist, sending Clara tumbling to the bed at her side. She laughed then, watching the other woman stand on the bed and struggle to maintain balance as she freed herself from her onesie and let it fall to the floor before bouncing back over her, instantly on her neck.
Clara pushed aside the thoughts of work and the Doctor and the pounding of her heart, and she reveled in the way Caroline's mouth felt exploring her way down over her body. Carefully, knowingly, tenderly. She buried the past in the back of her mind as her legs were pushed open and the delicate testing kisses turned into gentle laps of her tongue and then broader passes over her that made her pant as she tilted her pelvis into her. She released a small strangled cry as Caroline slid a single digit into her, and then exhaled as it became two, working leisurely at first, strokes slow and steady to match her tongue's.
Then her pace quickened, fingers urging at her as her mouth clamped down and sucked lightly before her tongue swirled over her, flicking at her just hard enough to send a shock of pleasure up through her body, lifting her left knee up slightly as her back arched. Caroline's left hand moved over her skin, massaging at her until it settled around her right breast, and Clara laid her hand atop it, urging her to squeeze at her flesh as she groaned, a sound that elicited a small chuckle from the woman who shifted back and paused, exposing her to the cooler air before she dipped forward again, lips devouring her.
She cried out as she came, body tensing and then collapsing as Caroline lazily kissed at her for just a moment longer before crawling up to lay at her side, fingers of her right hand making their way over Clara's thigh and stomach as she pecked her lips to her shoulder.
Turning towards her, Clara moved to nudge Caroline's left knee away, but the other woman shook her head shyly, sighing nervously, "You don't have to reciprocate."
Clara laughed, climbing over her, right hand reaching down to tease gently between flatmate's legs, watching the way her eyes closed and she bit her lip as Clara offered, "Doesn't seem fair, you getting all the fun."
With a strangled laugh, Caroline nodded slowly, and Clara kissed at her jaw, giving her neck a small lick as she reached up to brush the thumb of her right hand over the other woman's breast. She giggled as she watched Caroline's pale cheeks go red, and then she bent to take her hardened nipple into her mouth, reveling in the choked moan it earned her, and the fingers that dove into her hair. Suckling lightly, she let her hand drift again, slipping over the other woman's clean mound and then finding the wetness within her folds with a humph of approval.
Her middle finger slid over her, tip teasing at her entrance as she kissed her way to her other breast, listening to the breathing growing heavier. And then she slipped into her, curling her finger deeply and then edging back out as she exhaled. Pushing up on her left palm, Clara settled that moistened finger onto her tongue and she sucked it clean of her juices, head dizzy at the saline tinged taste of her flatmate, and she grinned, watching Caroline's hard swallow.
Inching forward, she kissed the other woman, her knee lifting to press her thigh between Caroline's legs and she shifted against her, feeling the slickness beginning to wet her skin. Clara laughed darkly and she settled more of her weight into the other woman, feeling the small inhale she offered in response as she repetitively ground her thigh against her, and when her lips shifted away, Clara clamped hers to her neck, giving the skin there a light welt before she pulled away entirely, smiling as she reached to slip her fingers into her again.
Clara watched her hands come up to grip at her pillow and she bent to kiss at her breasts, working a rhythm into her for a few moments before her thumb found her clitoris and she swirled a delicate circle over it as Caroline muttered lightly, "Shit, English."
They shared a quiet laugh at the familiar nickname, and then Clara inched back, biting her lip as she concentrated on alternating the movements between her fingers and her thumb, gauging how close Caroline was to her own climax. It wouldn't be long, she knew, and just before she reached it, she moved her hand away, turning and bending to run her tongue strongly over her – that one last blow she needed – and as the woman shouted out, body squirming, Clara sealed her lips onto her, gently coaxing her on.
She drank her up, one hand soothingly stroking at Caroline's skin as a small string of half curses escaped her on gasps. Americans, Clara thought as she lifted her head and looked to the blonde lying calmly with a small smile on her reddened lips. She crawled slowly up the bed, spreading her naked body down beside her flatmate's and she offered the night a long sigh of contentment before her mind slowly returned to the Doctor and the events of that day.
Clara should have known it would.
The bed groaned under the other woman's movements and Clara felt her press her body to hers, hand roaming over her side. "So," Caroline began lightly from just behind her, "What's really on your mind?"
She turned to see the tired blue eyes that peered back cautiously at her, knowingly, she knew, even as she laughed and responded, "What do you mean?"
The hand at her waist tightened just a moment before Caroline sighed and explained, "This is great and all – I am always up for and appreciate the sex – but you tend to do this when you need a distraction," she trailed, eyes roaming the room before finding hers again, "So what am I distracting you from tonight?"
Reaching to take her hand, intertwining their fingers delicately, Clara sighed, "You're not a distraction, Caroline."
But the other woman rolled her eyes, again, knowingly.
"It's a mission I was assigned to at the start of my career with UNIT; it was why I joined," she allowed, knowing she had to be careful just how much information she gave a civilian. She looked to the opposite wall to admit, "I was tasked with killing a man and I thought I'd done it, but he appeared earlier today and I'm worried I... I'm worried that..." she hesitated, not wanting to say it.
"You killed the wrong man," Caroline finished, and Clara could feel her fingers squeeze gently. Felt her body mold tighter into hers to comfort her because Caroline was one of the few who knew that behind the title and behind the uniform and behind the facade she had to give to the world – Clara was vulnerable and fragile and heartbroken.
"What if I did?" Clara sighed. "I had orders to shoot, a General in my ear shouting to take the shot."
"And you doubted him then?"
"I'd never seen the face of the man I had to kill," which wasn't entirely true, she just knew that face changed, "What if we were wrong about him then?"
She heard the other woman give a sad laugh, "You're doubting everything now, aren't you."
"The man before, he had an air of the devil about him, but this man?" Clara bit her lip against the thought, but then she released it anyways out of trust, "This man seemed harmless, loving even – he said my name in a way that was familiar."
There was no real way to explain it. The Doctor spoke her name like a prayer. Like a promise. But she didn't know what that promise was really, she just felt it in her heart and then she overrode her heart and shot him with her stun gun. She called in his capture and she rode alongside him in the back of a truck, all the while searching out the lines on his face for the reason he felt so familiar.
For the reason she wanted to save him.
"It's nonsensical," she finally surmised.
Caroline laughed and offered, "You're nonsensical, Clara."
She turned to smirk at her, to nod and whisper, "I am, aren't I."
They shared a laugh and Clara shifted to kiss her, appreciative of her presence and her understanding, and then she snuggled into her, reaching out to flick off the lamp beside the bed, ready to be done with this day. After a few minutes, she felt the body behind her soften, relaxing with sleep, but she found she couldn't. Not until almost three in the morning, when her heart rate finally slowed and the burning muscles in her body cooled just enough. And she quietly dozed off with a single inexplicable thought on her mind.
I have to save the Doctor.
