Peeta Pov
I lean against my door and sink to the floor. I cry as I think about the horrible thing I did. That Snow made me do. I can never look at her the same. I have no hope of ever being able to touch her again in a normal way. It's tainted.
Before I had hoped that someday we would fall in love, get married, and have kids. But now, I don't know if I can even look at her the same.
I stand up and angrily throw a vase. Everything I've ever wanted has been given to me in a sick twisted way. I wanted to talk to Katniss, and I got reaped. I wanted to kiss Katniss, and I got thrown into this 'star crossed lovers' regime. I wanted to make love to her, and instead I was forced to rape her.
My eyes burn with tears as pace around my room in anger. I've never been one to be violent, but this has driven me to my breaking point. Seeing the pain in her face as I force my way into her, was my breaking point.
After knocking over a few things, I finally Drive my fist into the dry wall. My prosthetic gets caught on the rug which causes me to tumble to the ground. My hand is broken, I'm sure of that. I'm not a stranger to pain though. So I just lay there on the floor, surrounded by broken glass and bits of wall. I bring my knees to my chest and I just lay there as the tears burn my eyes and roll down my cheeks.
Eventually sleep finds me. I wake up to the sound of Haymitch's grumbles as he pulls me from the ground and to my bed. I groan when I look at my hand.
"Rough night,"he says more of a statement than a question.
I just stay quiet.
"Well, it looks like you managed to break your hand and your prosthetic. We'll need to take you do the medical center. I thought Katniss was the one with the anger problems."
"I don't want to talk about it, Haymitch." I say.
"Suit yourself. I'll send in a wheelchair for you in five minutes and then we'll take you." He stands up and throws some clothes at me. "And put some clothes on. "
I do as he says and put on the clothes. Soon an avox comes in with a wheelchair. He tries to help me but I shake him off. "It's okay. I got it." I say as I climb into the chair. I start to roll myself but realize it's hard to do it with one hand. So I allow him to push me.
He looks familiar but I can't remember how. His red hair is vivid in my mind. Katniss is just walking out when we pass her room. She freezes when she sees me.
"What happened?" She asks.
"It doesn't matter." I say.
She looks at the avox and says,"it's okay Darius. I can take him."
He nods and walks away. She takes his place and starts to push me. "So where are you going?"
"The medical center." She has dark circles around her eyes. She hasn't slept.
"Okay."
She pushes me in silence. We make it to the elevator and at the bottom floor we are met with peacekeepers. Probably to make sure we get where we need to be.
When we get there, she sits next to me in a chair. I don't meet her eyes as she stares at me. "Quit looking at me like I'm a kicked puppy."
She continues to stare at me silently.
"You won't stop until I tell you what happened, huh?"
She nods.
"Last night I lost it and broke everything in my room. Then I punched a wall and fell and broke my prosthetic."
She nods slowly as she takes in the information. "My night was pretty similar. Except I didn't break my hand or leg...attachment."
"So, a rough night too..."
"We're going to have plenty of those."I say.
The doctor calls me in but stops Katniss. "Family only." I looks at her apologetically. She nods and takes a seat in the waiting room.
After a while, I come out with a wrapped hand, and a cane.
She stands up, her expression unreadable. So I walk over to her and wrap my arm with the wrapped hand around her back. Again, we walk in silence.
When we get back to our living quarters, Katniss instantly runs to her room. Maybe I took it to far? Baby steps Mellark.
Haymitch is at the bar 'listening' as Effie rambles on about her day.
When I walk past them, she gasps and says,"Peeta! What happened?!"
"I fell Effie."
Haymitch knows this is a lie but he goes along with it. Eventually she stops pestering me with questions. When I enter my room, it's already cleaned up. Everything replaced, as if nothing ever happened.
I walk over to my bed and collapse on it.
I hear the door open but that's all I hear. I sit up to see Katniss walking towards me with a tray. She sets it down on the table and lays down next to me.
I roll over to face her. Her eyes bore into mine. She runs her fingers through my hair and tears slip down her cheeks.
Tears slip down my face too as I look at her. She's broken. And so am I. She leans in closer to me and places her head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat.
Our tears eventually turn into sobs and we hold each other closer. Then she looks into my eyes and says,"things will never be the same."
"I think we knew that when our names were called."
We sleep for a while like this. When I wake up she's still asleep. So I get up as carefully as I can and slip into the shower. My unwrapped hand runs through my hair as I lean against the wall. My prosthetic lays against the wall outside of the shower.
The warm water feels nice over my sore body. I close my eyes and brace both hands on the wall as I stand underneath the water.
When I walk out, Katniss is gone.
I sigh and get dressed. I make my way to the dinning hall, the soup left forgotten.
Everyone is there at the table.
I sit down and Haymitch clears his throat. "You guys have another appointment tonight." He says.
"Already?" I ask.
"You two are new. And everyone loves the star crossed lovers. So you're going to get a lot of appointments right away. It will go down over time. And eventually you'll only have regulars you see once a week. It's Snow's way of breaking you... sadly I recognize the name. This guy was a regular of Johanna Mason. You're lucky he's not allowed to lay a finger on you."
My mind flashes to this man trying to hit Katniss and my blood boils instantly.
I clench my teeth and stare at my plate.
Katniss storms away. After a few hours of me just staring at my plate, Effie taps me on the shoulder and says,"it's time to go Peeta. There's no prep team today."
I stand and follow her out the door. Before I walk into my dressing room, she places her hands on each side
Of my face and says sadly,"I am so sorry, Peeta. You deserve so much more. My handsome victor..."
She clears her throat before putting on a fake smile and wiping a tear.
She really does care about us. I don't care what anyone says about her. She's been more of a mother to my than my own.
Before I walk in, I keep in mind what Haymitch said. Who knows what can be on the other side. He may be into all that weird leather and chocking stuff I saw on a capitol magazine. As long as I'm the one getting hit, I can get through this. I'm use to abuse.
When I slip in I find that there is no outfit for me today. Just a note that says take everything off.
Apparently he likes everything natural. That's why there was no prep team.
I step in and the guy welcomes us. He's a tall man with bronze skin and cold eyes. He smiles and says,"go ahead and make yourself confortable."
I eye him as I walk over to the bed and lay down. Katniss walks in wearing a black leather bra and panty set. She looks at me nervously as she walks in.
"Take a seat,"he says to her. She sits down next to me. Then he says,"I like everything to look natural. But I want women to be put in their places. Don't be afraid to be a little rough." He winks.
My blood boils at that comment. How can he just treat women like this? It's disgusting. And he expects me to treat her like this?!
I bite my tongue.
"What's with your hand?"
"I broke it." I say with no emotion.
"Hmm... I better get a discount. You won't be able to spank her as hard."
I bite until I taste blood. This sick bastard-
"Go ahead. Start when you're ready."
I turn back and take the pill quickly. I turn back to Katniss and kiss her softly. Prolonging it as much as I can.
"Too soft. I want you to mad handle her. Grab that whore by the throat."
I see the anger in her eyes. I feel it too but I know I have to be the reasonable one here. So I whisper her name to remind her of the threat that looms over our head.
I kiss her with a little more force. I guide my tongue into her mouth. I want it to look like I'm taking her but not feel like it.
My good hand grips her hip as I move her onto my lap. I move my mouth to suck on her neck, leaving little marks.
Katniss lets out a moan but it's fake. I can tell.
"Take it off!" He yells.
Katniss closes her eyes as she reaches behind her to unhook her bra. My fingers fumble with the strings of her panties.
My fingers ghost over her center but the man barks at me,"this is about you. Not her. Put her in her place and take control. Let her pleasure you."
I really want to punch this guy. He throws something to it and I nearly throw up when I see it. It's a black leather whip.
"Bend her over and use it on her."
"I-I- uh..."
"Do you need a demonstration?" He says with an evil grin. I shake my head no. Katniss gets on all fours for me. She whispers,"i'd take you over him any day."
I sit up on my knees behind her. I hold the whip in my good hand my other hand on her hip. I gulp as I grip it tighter and stare at her plump ass. I pull my hand back and then swing it forward to land with a hard smack and a loud snap. She lunges forward and I hear her squeal.
There's a red mark where it hit her. I fight tears.
The man groans and says,"doesn't that just make you so hard?"
"No."
"What?" He says a little more serious.
"Peeta-"Katniss warns.
"Dephililing a woman doesn't make me hard."
"You better watch your words. Or I'll take that whip and have my way with her."
"You can't do that!" I say.
"I can. And I will. I paid for a show. I'll get what I want."
He stands up and yanks the whip out of my hand. I protest but he's pushed me off the bed and is already whipping Katniss right on her center. She buries her face in a pillow.
"STOP!" I cry out. He throw the whip at me and walks back to the chair.
"Now do what you were paid to do."
I run my hand over her center, hoping to make her feel a little better. Then I smack her right on the clit to appease our patron. She lets out another fake moan. I do it three more times before I grip her hips and slowly enter her from behind.
Her legs tremble. I know I'm hurting her. She tenses and I freeze, not wanting to hurt her anymore than I already have.
"Get on with it!" He yells from his chair. I start to slowly pull out of her and then push in again. She grips the sheet. To the patron it looks like pleasure, but to me, I know it's pain.
I run my hand back and forth over her hip, trying to soothe her. I lean forward so my body is against hers, and my mouth is by her ear.
"I'm so sorry,"I whisper to her.
"I know,"she whispers.
I kiss her to cover up everything. She forces all of her pain and emotion into this kiss, and I do the same. After a few more thrusts, we're stopped by the patron.
"Stop, before you blow your load-"I cringe at his terms," there's one more thing that I paid extra for.."
Katniss and I look at each other nervously.
"I want so anal action."
Katniss stares with her mouth wide open. But I'm angry. "No. That's where I draw the line." I say,"you will not make me do that to her. That will hurt her too much. We're done here."
"Fine." The man says. He crosses his arms and within seconds, peacekeepers storm the room. Two run over to Katniss and grab her by each arm, holder her to the headboard. Four surround me. One pushes me to the floor, the other two grab me by the arms. The fourth one and the first one pull out their batons and start to hit me in the chest and gut.
Pain wracks my body with each blow. Blood comes up with each cough. And black spots hinder my vision. I can faintly hear Katniss scream from the bed. But all I can think about is that time I broke my rib...
"PEETA MELLARK! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" My mom yells at me from the stairs. I continue to hide in the closet. I knew the moment I broke it that this would happen.
I hear footsteps nearing the door. And when it opens I start to cry, expecting a hit. But nothing happens. I look up to see my brother Barley. He's the oldest. We're ten years apart.
He crouches down next to me and places a hand in my shoulder. He smiles at me and says,"I won't hurt you. So how'd it happen?"
"I was carrying the cake to the counter to get it ready for the wedding. I slipped on some butter that was spilt. I'm so sorry Barley. I didn't mean to ruin your wedding cake."
He smiles and shakes his head,"it was an accident. And honestly I'm more worried about you than the cake. Mom isn't very happy. And hiding is only going to make it worse. I tried to talk to her. You're only eight. Your punishment shouldn't be too bad."
We both know that doesn't matter. But I take comfort in his words anyways. For some reason I always get hit the most.
I stand up and wipe my tears. I puff out my chest and try to be like my older brother. He walks around fearlessly. He pats my back and says,"atta boy."
But as soon as my foot hits that bottom step, I'm hit in the chest. I fall to the ground as she continues to hit me with the rolling pin. Because we have a bakery, we have this heavy duty metal rolling pin. That's her weapon of choice.
"STUPID BOY! HOW COULD YOU RUIN YOUR BROTHERS WEDDING DAY?!" She continues to scream at me as she beats me. Finally she steps away and angrily disappears.
Nick, my other brother and my father both lift me up but I can't stand. I'm in too much pain. Barley lifts my shirt and says,"his rib might be broken."
"We need to take him to the Everdeens."
"But your wed-"
"Don't worry about it. Take him dad."
"You know I can't-"
"Fine. Then I will." Barley lifts me into his arms and walks out the door, followed by Nick. I groan in pain as he walks to the seam. Nick says,"he look on the bright side. You'll get to see Katniss. Maybe she'll feel so bad that she'll take care of you?"
"Enough Nick." Barley warns.
It's dusk by the time we get to the seam. Nick knocks on the door to the Everdeen home. John Everdeen opens the door with a pleasant smile. Until he sees the state that I'm in.
"Come right in. You can lay him on the bed down the hall." He says before running to get his wife.
Delilah Everdeen runs into the room with her medical bag. "Oh dear, what happened?"
We all stay quiet.
"You're the Mellark boys, right?"Mr. Everdeen asks. They nod.
Mrs. and Mr. Everdeen exchange looks before nodding. They know.
"Where was he hit?" She asks.
"The ribs. Right side."
She lifts my shirt and sighs. "The bruising shows signs that it may be broken. Well have to just let it heal. Hopefully it's not shattered. I'm going to wrap his chest and give him medication. Sadly, there's not too much that I can do, but watch over him."
She injects me with a medicine and starts to wrap my chest up. It's painful but it starts to fade as the medicine kicks in.
"Would you like some tea?" She offers my brothers.
Barley sighs and says,"I actually need to go. I'm getting married in less than half an hour."
"Oh congratulations. We can bring him home. It's getting late, both of you should get home."
They agree and thank them.
"Your Peeta, right?" Mrs. Everdeen asks.
"Yeah." I say shyly.
She smiles and says,"you're the same age as my daughter, Katniss."
I nod.
"Would you like something to drink?" She asks. I nod. She smiles and says,"I'll get that for you. Just lay back and try to rest."
She leaves me alone in the room. I lay there staring at the door. That's when I see an angel poke her head through. She hides her face with her dark hair as she watches from the door.
I've always watched her from afar, but she's never actually watched me back. My heart hammers at the sight of her. She smiles and then disappears. I blink as if she wasn't real. And soon I start to wonder if she is.
Even though I'm in all this pain, it was worth it because I got to see her.
I can feel arms dragging me onto a cold surface. I fairly hear cries. Then I feel her hands in my hair and on my face.
"Get back, Sweetheart. Let them do their work." I hear Haymitch say. I open my eyes for a second to see Katniss being help by Effie as she wipes her tears.
And that's when the world goes black.
