Pein
Tell him that Konan isn't his bitch, she's sleeping with all the members.
Sit on his lap and call him papa.
Call him the punked Santa.
Tell him Deidara and Sasori are making loud noises that sound like cries for help.
Lead him towards the sound.
Make him explain what they are it they're not cries for help.
Ask him loudly to explain what lust is.
Tell him the last person you loved who had a God complex, ended up with a heart attack on a stair well after being shot several times. (Light Yagami)
Make him some tea.
Cry till he drinks it.
Tell him you made it out of the water Hidan used to mop up the floor after a ritual.
While he's sleeping, rip out one of his earrings.
Frame Konan.
When they start arguing yell loudly, "Mama and Papa are gonna separate!"
Cry and ruin their cloaks as you try to hold them together.
Scream, "Papa is mean!" and kick him where no man wants to be kicked.
Destroy his office.
Tell him you'll fix it.
Fix it.
With a pretty princess-pony-pink-frilly-flowery-theme.
