iv.

chapter four - how lonely it can get

/author's note/ i do not own death note or any of its characters. i only own my OC and any other original characters unless stated otherwise.

:-:-: theme: my heart by paramore :-:-:


Several days after the exam results were posted, it was obvious that Mello and I's relationship was taking a rocky path for the moment. Currently, I was in Near's room, reading one of the various books the boy allowed me to keep in there. If you looked around Kathy and I's room, you'd probably find some of his toys there as well.

Near himself was hidden inside the large building of dominos he had made. The whiteness of the dominos made it very hard to pinpoint the boy, since he was dressed in pajamas that matched the color exactly. The fact his hair was white too, didn't help much...

The room was silent, except for the occasional sound of me turning a page and the clank of Near's dominos.

"One more chapter?" Near broke the quiet, standing up to peer at me over his structure. The sight of his little head suddenly popping up made me smile a bit.

"Yeah," I nodded, flipping the page as I found a stopping point. "I'm pretty sure I know who did it." Near grunted, which translated to 'tell me more'. "Well, you know how the pool of blood is mostly water? Going by that I have concluded that the murder weapon wasn't a silver knife, but an ice one. Which the murderer snuck in with the bucket of champagne. Everyone said they didn't bring champagne, so obviously one of them is lying."

"Yes, I agree." Near continued, already working on his tower of dominos again. "You mentioned that during interogation, Gallow revealed to be mentally ill, and revealed that he was the one to put the silver into the fire pit."

"Mhm, but when questioned he said 'it wasn't enough; the power is too strong'. He was obviously referring to the ancient curse placed on the burial grounds they were digging up. So the silver was exactly that: silver. Not the remains of a weapon."

"The owner of the bath house would seem like the obvious murderer, but his statements have proved truthful. Besides, he was looking forward to the archeologists finding a priceless artifact beneath the bath house... It would bring his business lots of wanted attention. So what would he gain by killing his main worker?"

"Exactly!" I grinned, happy that we were on the same page. "Which leaves the colleague; he didn't want the victim to take all the credit for their findings, so he offed him with an ice knife. It was him that brought the champagne."

"Let us see then."

I nodded, turning the page in the book so I could begin the final chapter. Near and I always worked like this whenever I pulled out a mystery novel. We both enjoyed working on the cases like this, as it was the closest we'd ever get at this point. I had tried doing it with Mello once, but he wasn't patient enough to wait until the end of the book to see if we was right, and instead jumped the gun and spoiled it for himself. Some times his guesses were right, but they were mostly wrong since he never waited to gather enough information or evidence.

A few minutes later and I was closing the book with a satisfied grin, "A case well done, Near." I complimented. "We were right again." I moved forward to peek through the dominos and at Near. He met my eyes and I relished in the small smile he had on his face.

"Excellent."

Before we could revel further in our victory, there was a knock on the door and a familiar head popped in. Kathy smiled nervously, being sure to open the door with extreme caution so not to disturb Near's work. "Hey, yeah! Drake, I was wondering if ya—"

"Do not step any further into my room." Near quickly spoke up, a glare on his face as he peered at Kathy through a small opening in his dominos.

Kathy squeaked, quickly moving back and into the hallway. I snorted, standing up to go and attend to my roommate. "I'll see you at dinner, Near." I waved goodbye, shutting his door to the sound of his hum. "What is it, Kathy?"

The older girl figeted under my questioning look, adverting her eyes when the silence went on for too long. "U-Umm, I just wanted to tell you that... Olivia asked me out!"

'Olivia? As in her imaginary friend Olivia?'

"Oh um, that's...great?" I said, a bit unsure on what I should say. "I'm happy for you both but, was there a reason you wanted to tell me this?" Honestly, it was something to search me out, only to tell me something as small as this.

Kathy laughed, her cheeks tinting red as she eyed me slyly. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm off the market now, yeah; so you can't make any moves on me! You're really cute and all, but you're a bit too young for me right now...Hm, if Olivia and I don't work out in the future, I'll be sure to let ya have a chance with me, yeah."

"W-What!?" I sputtered, my face heating up at just the suggestion of me having feelings for someone. "No, no— I don't know where you got that from, but I don't like you like that—"

"Eh, don't try and deny it now! I'm already fully convinced that ya like me, yeah! Don't worry, ya don't hafta be shy about it or anything. Like I said, you still have a chance~" With that, the girl winked before skipping away. I was left in the hallway, alone and utterly lost.


Later that day, I entered the library to return some of the books I had already finished reading. Lately I had just been keeping them in a pile in my room, but one of the caretakers found it when they cleaned my room. Needless to say, I had received a good scolding... Luckily the books I hadn't read were still safe and sound in Near's room, and also my little nook within the library.

I was surprised to see a familiar face in said location.

"Mohamed?"

"Wow, you pronounced it correctly. Good for you, brat."

'The same as ever I see.' I mutely pouted, walking over to see what the eleven-year-old was up to. Sliding into the chair next to him, I finally took note of all the science books that were on the table and floor by him. "Do you want to be a scientist?"

"Hm?" He asked, peering down at me with his brown eyes. "Yeah. I heard L doesn't have a direct scientist that came from Wammy's that he can go to, so I want to be that person for him." A prideful smile took on his features, "Just imagine it...working for L and helping him solve a case with my abilities."

"I don't see the appeal, but okay." I shrugged, further observing Momo. It had been over a year since I had last seen him, and he had changed significantly appearance wise. He was taller, and his hair had been cut short.

"Probably because you know nothing." Momo scoffed, turning a page in his book, "L is the greatest detective in the world, not to mention he was the inspiraiton for this whole orphanage anyway."

I frowned because this wasn't the first time I had received such a lecture. Everyone was on the defensive when it came to this letter, always quick to protect his name and what-not. The only thing I could do was sigh before blocking the person out entirely. Which I was tempted to do again, but... "Have you ever met L?"

My question obviously caught the boy off guard, because he slowly closed his book before turning to face me fully. "What? No. No one has. That's what makes him all the more exciting though! He keeps his face and identity a secret."

"So he's a mystery that solves mysteries..."

"Yeah, something like that... Actually, no. It's nothing like that. Whatever, you're five. How much would you be able to understand anyway? Go and bother your brother or something..." With that, I was shooed out of the library before I even got a chance to put the books I had brought away. I had left them on the table Mohamed was using, however, so they were his problem now.

Leaving the library behind me, I made my way to Kathy and I's room, feeling like I was in need of a nap.

:-:-:-:

Mello wordlessly walked by the table I was sitting at in the dining hall, his nose in the air as he exited the room with his food in his hands. A small pout was on my face when I sighed heavily, resisting the urge to drop my head onto the table.

"You and Mello still aren't getting along, huh?" Kathy said from the other side of the table, mindlessly doodling mathematical equations on the table with a sharpie.

"Yep..." I sighed again, resuming focus on my dinner before I forgot about it all together due to my sulking. It was kind of my fault that Mello was being like this, but I wasn't going to stop being Near's friend just to make him happy again so... I'd obviously have to figure something out if I wanted Mihael back in my life.

"Have you talked to him since his tantrum?"

I leaned back, peering under the table to look at Near. He was sitting down with his knees in his chest, casually taking bites of his food with one hand while the other was stacking dice. This was nothing new. Some time ago, I discovered that the only way Near could handle being in this crowded and loud space, was by being under the table because it sheltered him in a way.

"No... I've tried, but he just ignores me and stomps away."

"Try harder."

My eyebrows furrowed as I glared at my friend, "Easy for you to say. You've barely interacted with Mello. He's... He's a lot more complicated than you think."

"I know enough."

"Meaning?"

"You should try harder."

Near was really making me want to cry right now; that's how frustrating his advice was making me. In the end, all I could do was give him a dreary sigh before moving to go and put my plate in the kitchen. A hand on my ankle stopped me however, and I looked down to see Near looking up at me with pleading eyes. His expression roughly translated to: please don't leave me here with her.

Giving my friend an apologetic look, I pulled away from his grasp and stood. I waited for Near to crawl out from under the table with his own plate before leading us to the kitchen, giving Kathy a parting wave— though she was far too focused on her math problems to notice. That was just one of her habits; when the dark-haired girl wasn't talking to herself, she was trying to figure out (and create) mathematical problems and formulas. Honestly...it amazed me how much someone could love math.

"She's gonna get in trouble again..." I laughed a bit to myself as Near and I entered the kitchen. "Hannah's already made her scrub all the tables clean several times. You'd think she'd have learned her lesson by now."

"She's an idiot." Was Near's reply, and it only served to make me laugh even more.


/author's note/ PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, READ THIS. phew okay, now that i've got your attention... i have a pretty big announcement to make regarding this story. i honestly didn't realize that it had been over a year since i had last updated, so i did my best to get to work on this story again. only i found it extremely hard for some reason.

all that you see written above has been written since the last time i updated. so basically i'm saying that this chapter has been sitting in my drafts for over twelve months, and i'm only posting it now because... i've decided to discontinue this story. i have just lost motivation for it and i can't even remember what i had planned out anymore. the fact i posted this chapter unfinished should say enough about how huge my writer's block for this piece is.

i am really sorry for those that actually found joy in reading this story, and i hope that you'll be able to find a story just as entertaining (if not better) as this one. i'm gonna add some shameless self-advertising, and say that my two most active stories right now are desolate minds (a naruto si/oc) and re: vamped (a vampire knight si/oc). so if you liked bother my mind, you might also like my other stories.

one last thing. since i'm no longer going to be writing for this story, i'd be happy to answer any questions you guys have regarding pairings, events, or etc. i'm going to list a few things below that were going to happen in the story before i decided to drop it.


THE ENDGAME PAIRING? ultimately, i struggled with this a bit. but by the end of the story, i was definitely going to have drake be with near.

MOMO AND KATHY'S PURPOSE? momo was going to later be an ally to those working on the kira case, namely the SPK. as for kathy... she was going to be an antagonist, believe it or not.

MATT AND MELLO'S FATE? with drake's existence, mello still leaves the orphanage when that "day" comes, creating a huge gap in between the keehl siblings. mello basically abandoned his sister in favor of his pride, so yeah. she didn't take well to that. with mello gone, she grows even closer to near and matt as well. because of this, matt never leaves the orphanage to follow after mello like he did in canon... instead, him and drake leave together in search for him, because in short: drake's had enough of mello's emo shit. this doesn't happen until a couple years later though. to skip over the rest of the details: matt and mello do not die.

L'S APPEARANCE? L was going to appear in the story when drake was 10. he was going to meet her after some events took place, but drake would not know that he's L. a fun fact: after actually getting to know him in the future and such, she refers to him as "letter-san" as a running gag towards his name and her past disbelief that he even existed.

that's all i can really think to add so... any other questions will have to be asked directly! thank you for reading; it's been fun.