Chapter Summary - Midgardian bling is just wonderful! And somehow offensive to most of the team. Double Score!

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Beta'd by the wonderful Stella aka Ykmust and Emu Sam.

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Chapter 4 – All that Glitters

Loki was, amazingly enough, present for the team dinner that evening. It was amazing because more often than not in the last week, the godling had not spent any time at all in the tower. Yet, when Tony finally made it to the table, there he was, passing rolls to Natasha. Tony had no doubt that the reason Loki was there had more to do with Steve's non-negotiable invitation than the god's desire to break bread with the rest of the Avengers. At least, that was the only reason why Tony was there. And, unlike Loki, he almost, kinda liked them.

"You're early," Bruce told him with a smile. "We've just started."

"Love you too, Brucie." Sliding into his seat, Tony snagged a plate of maple glazed pork chops that Clint was attempting to pass to Thor, much to the big lug's dismay.

"Thank you, Tweetie. Oh, stop with the puss face, Point Break," he chided almost absently. "There's enough for all of us here." He looked at the large, but not huge platter, "Or rather, there will be if we normal people get served first. Pork chops, Bruce? Or are you still on your quinoa burger, tofu cube, and edible cardboard kick?

Smiling, Bruce accepted the platter and then immediately handed it off to Thor. "It was muesli, Tony. Is the word too hard to pronounce for your genius brain?" It seemed Bruce was in his cheerful mood tonight.

"Noooooo." Tony paused, the memory of that day scored deep in his mind, or at least his taste buds. "It was shredded cardboard with raisins and nuts. I tasted it, remember?"

"Mister Odinson, sir," Jarvis interrupted before Bruce could launch into one of his unprocessed grain, i.e. 'cardboard is good for you' rants. "There are some gentlemen requesting entry to the private garage area without prior authorization. They claim to be trying to deliver a Jaguar they say belongs to you."

Every set of eyes swiveled over to stare at an incredibly unconcerned Trickster god. All of them wide with disbelief, except for Thor's; his eyes hadn't simply widened, they practically popped in delight. "Br—Loki! You bought a cat like Mother's?"

Fastidiously dabbing his lips, Loki rolled his eyes, and then tossed his used napkin beside his plate. "No. Thor, it is a vehicle," Loki replied flatly. "Unlike you, I see no reason not to learn how to use the local means of conveyance."

"I can fly," Thor said somewhat smugly. "Therefore, I have no need to learn how to drive Midgard's cars."

"Well, yes. But those of us who weren't given magic hammers by an overly doting father..." Loki shot a withering glare at Thor, causing the blonde's smile to immediately fade. "Have to find other ways to deal with our transportation needs."

"So you bought a Jaguar?" Clint asked, his face twisted up in an odd expression that seemed to shift from incredulity to puzzlement.

Which Tony could totally understand, because, come on it's a Jaguar. How the hell does an Asgardian even know about British sports cars? And besides, a Jag is not exactly a beginner car.

Clint's voice took on the dubious tone and cadence of someone who already knew the answer to the question they were going to ask, and didn't like what that answer was going to be. "Do you even know how to drive yet?"

"Obviously not," Loki called out over his shoulder as he sashayed towards the elevator. "Otherwise, I would have driven the wretched thing home after I bought it rather than having it delivered."

It was now Tony turn to roll his eyes.

Despite not being a 'Car Guy,' Clint still looked faintly horrified as he and Tony exchanged a quick look with each other. It took Tony perhaps another half a heartbeat to come to a decision. "Jarvis! Hold the elevator." The engineer yelled, charging after the god.

Eighty stories below him, a finely built automobile was in imminent peril.

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Thor was being exceptionally quiet as he studied the income-expenditure printout Jarvis had prepared using the group's observations of his expenditures and Loki's own begrudging explanation of his income.

While the others might have wondered how Loki had even thought to talk the mortal exchangers into giving him currency over the gold value, Loki was sure Thor didn't. After all, he had normally been the one to do the trading and bargaining for everything except food when they were on a quest. Bargaining for food being Volstagg's admitted area of expertise. Despite what the Avengers might have thought, Loki had never cheated Thor, their friends or indeed any one that he knew of. He in fact delighted at being scrupulously honest when making and adhering to deals. After all, where was the fun in besting someone through cheating? Anyone could do it that way. Like SHIELD? In fact, the Captain had been quite put out by his organization, when he had found out that prior to Loki handling the exchanges, SHIELD had been merely been giving Thor the metal value of the gold coins they had exchanged for him. Apparently it pained the good Captain to think that an organization he was involved with would cheat and knowingly take advantage of an Avenger.

The Captain may have been a good man, and even a shrewd man in many matters, but his mind still had trouble wrapping itself around the fact that many of his superior officers, were not.

What may have surprised the Avengers more was that Loki had willingly turned over a good portion of the excess. As Thor was only expecting bullion value, not numismatic, Loki could have very well kept the overage, with none the wiser.

"But why should Loki not have kept the overage on the coins that were his?" Thor had protested when Barton demanded to know why he hadn't also turned that extra over to Thor. "He gave me the same overage for the coins he exchanged for me. So much so that I still haven't spent it all."

This was about the time Banner had quietly suggested that maybe Loki should leave them for a bit. No doubt so they could browbeat the oaf without Loki there to refute whatever ridiculous assumptions they were going to make.

And so they did. Browbeat Thor that was. Apparently, one should not be able to buy a Jaguar F-TYPE S coupe, custom tailored clothing, a Pierre Arpels watch, high dollar electronics… that was most likely Stark… with a monthly allowance. Not that he had, it had also taken the money he'd amassed from carefully, and oh so exclusively, marketing the gold coins he had received as a bribe to put his pants back on.

"I hardly think that's fair, Thor. After all, I did get extra value for your coins also. Over ten times their bullion worth." Loki paused as a thought struck him. Not that he thought Thor would ever dare question him on the matter; still, it did pay to be proactive. "Mind you, I will not always be able to sell them for that amount," he warned. "Even coins from another planet will become less valuable as more of them are sold. But I do have a few ideas of other items we can sell instead."

"I don't disagree that it seems unfair," Thor admitted, apparently not as convinced as the others might have liked. "And I thank you for taking the trouble to find willing merchants not only for your coins but mine also. Perhaps later we could discuss what other items you think we should trade." The great oaf drew himself up, no doubt in an effort to seem more resolute. "However, the team consensus is that too much money might well lead you to more mischief."

Despite those admittedly disagreeable words, Loki couldn't help but feel a delicious curl of warmth blooming in his chest. He was particularly pleased when contemplating his last prank, which was five hundred dollars well spent in his opinion. Barton was still livid about the seventy pounds of micro-fine, iridescent glitter Loki had managed to pour carefully into his gear locker down on the training level. Without, of course, letting Jarvis see him.

After warding everything he and Thor owned against being similarly being tampered with.

Not that Loki was all that concerned about Thor, but the lack of retaliatory fallout had made sure that the blonde regarded the whole affair as a light hearted lark. Stark had also originally found the whole thing hysterical, particularly when Thor shoved Loki behind him, to save him from being attacked. An outraged Barton had of course bounced off the immovable wall of beef that was Thor. The force of their impact, and momentary grappling, causing Thor to also be covered in the fine glittery power. Sadly, Stark's mood had soured a bit as the ultra-fine glitter started showing up absolutely everywhere, except for Thor's floor. No matter how many 'bots Jarvis dispatched to sweep, dust and vacuum, they couldn't get it all cleaned up. Stark was only a day away from also calling for Loki's head, when Loki enchanted the inside of a bucket to attract the stuff. He fastened it to one of Jarvis' 'bots to carry it throughout all the affected levels.

Not that Loki cared about aggravating the mouthy mortal… However, Stark was teaching him how to drive. It was something Loki hadn't really needed, but it did give Stark an opportunity to guide his hand while showing him how to properly shift gears… And swallow thickly when Loki moved his released hand to rest almost on his own crotch. Of course the close fitting silk t-shirt and very tight denim pants his dresser had recommended helped too. As had the dark glasses he'd peered mischievously over when he caught Stark staring.

"Also," Thor continued, oblivious as always to what his supposed brother was thinking, "as they point out, you are supposed to be learning about mortal concerns, and most of them must learn to budget and get by on more modest means."

"Like Stark?" Loki asked archly, knowing for a fact, that Stark's fiscal habits or indeed his behavior was not something they thought Loki should emulate.

"Well, no, Stark was born a prince, as we were. Normal mortals like Natasha, Clint, Doctor Banner and the Captain."

The amount of effort it took for Loki not to groan and clench his head in despair was immense. It was times like this, times when Thor's sheer determination not to notice hypocrisy or logical disconnects, drove Loki crazy. It was also one of the things that had made him truly, truly fear for Asgard's future.

For the love of Ymir, if only Thor would just think a moment!

Like Barton, Romanoff, Banner and the Captain, Loki was being housed in a Midgardian Place. He had the best of everything being supplied to him, and yet Thor thought that they lived a normal mortal life? And further, he thought that living in Stark's palace, but under the constraints of a 'budget' would allow Loki to know how normal mortals lived?

Just thinking about how ludicrous it was, honestly made his head hurt. However, Loki had no intention of pointing any of this out to the big oaf.

Thor was able to command the loyalty of almost anyone. Even Loki. Time and again, though he knew Thor didn't value his council as he should, Loki had given him his loyalty. Yes, Thor could inspire a broken army to victory, and a realm to glory. But he would never see past his own experiences unless he was being led by the hand like a toddler. And just like a toddler, the moment you released his hand, he forgot why he was being led in the first place. So there was no sense in Loki even trying to use Thor's short-sightedness on the value of free housing as an object lesson. Particularly, since doing so would undoubtedly result in him having to use part of his newly reduced stipend to contribute to his maintenance and lodging.

"Well, it's not like I can argue with you on this subject, can I?" Loki said, making sure he sounded at least a little resigned. Apparently, from the suspicious glances Thor directed his way, the great lump had not expected that Loki would so easily accept this decree. A misstep to be sure, which he attempted to tossed out a few bitter curses and some dramatic pouting to mask his utter indifference to their decree. However, even when Loki retreated, scowling, to his favorite corner to read, Thor still eyed him warily.

Oh dear.

His clever ruse was apparently being seen through, and Thor was concerned. As well he might, Loki thought with a hidden smirk.

He quietly turned over the pages of the book in front of him ignoring the content as he mulled over the possibly dubious plans he already in motion to promote chaos, while, incidentally, maintaining the elegant life style he had thus far enjoyed.

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As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then Fav's and Follows would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have Fav'ed and Followed in the past.

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I don't own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.

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*********** TAKE NOTE - In these more enlightened, ie. fussy times, glitter bombing is considered and often prosecuted as vandalism/assult. So unless you are already a super villain you might want to pass on trying it. People have been arrested and fired. *****************

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