A/N: Here it is guys, the climax!

Chapter 4 The Crystal Turds

Lapis and the Eds meet with the other gems carrying Feminist symbol cookies (containing Edd's serum) for them to eat.

"Say what's with the cookies?" Pear asked all suspiciously.

"Um….to fight the patriarchy!" Lapis answered.

"Hmmmmmm….I may not eat or drink but if they fight the patriarchy I'll do it!" Pearl said as she ate a cookie.

*Booth*

Having returned from the restroom, Sugar and Miller are having Champaign w/ shrimp as they snuggle next to each other.

Steven, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl took over after Lapis left and sang the SU Theme.

Right near the climax, Amethyst let out a silent yet deadly shart that entered Pearl's nostril's, so instead of Pearl saying "Pearl" she accidently said "and Pooooooooop". As a result, The Crystal Gems started to change: Garnet became heavy-set w/ baggy street-clothes while Amethyst got even fatter. But the most horrifying transformation was that of Pearl: she started balding, her nose grew longer, certain teeth fell out, and even grew a greasy beard. On top of that, she developed a stereotypical Yonkers Jewish Accent.

A/N: And before any ass-hurt SJW's try to label me as a racist, Alt-right bigot, keep in mind that this is just satire and in no way, shape or form reflects my views.

"HI DARE KIDDIES! I'M POYL' AND DIS IS MY BEST FRIEND GARNET!" Pearl said as she rested her hand on Garnet's shoulder.

"ALL WHITE FOLK BE RACIST, ONLY GOOD BOUT DEM' IS ALL DAT WELFARE I GET, LONG LIVE MUGABE MO' FUCKA!" A heavyset Garnet declared as she kicked Pearl below the belt.

"(rolling on the floor) AH HA HA… (wheeze) RIGHT IN THE COJONES… (wheeze) JUST LIKE MA' USED TO MAKE! (gets back up) AND DIS IS MY OTHER BEST FRIEND AMETHYST, SAY "HI" AMY!" Said Pearl.

A fatter-than-usual Amethyst just sneezes into her hands and eats her own snot.

"OKAY WE'LL WORK ON DAT LATER, (turns to Steven) AND HERE WE HAVE OUR LITTLE POOPSY, STEVEN!" Said Pearl.

"I RECYCLE MY OWN SEMEN!" Steven (who looked like Chris Chan) announced as he downed a shot if his own juice.

"I'M SO PROUD OF MY LIL' POOPSY!" Said Pearl.

*Booth*

"REBECCA SUGAR WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" Miller ordered.

"I SWEAR TO GOD I HAVE NO IDEA!" Rebecca replied scared.

*Stage*

"SAY I HAVE AN I'DEER: LET'S TEACH THE KIDS HOW TO FUSE!" Pearl suggested.

"M'kay." Garnet agreed.

Pearl and Garnet stripped down and went into a 69. Garnet's body was littered in gang tattoos and shank scars. Pearl's body included tiny raisins for breasts, zero hips, a strange curve in her spine like a hunchback and instead of a vagina, contained what looked like malnourished male genitalia.

A/N: The following gets really disgusting, like the show.

"Okay just like we practiced, I'll stick my sssschnoooze up your ass whilst you stick your tongue up my ass!" Pearl instructed.

"A'IGHT." Garnet agreed.

("Fusion" begins)

"OH YEAH (SNORT) GET ALL DAT ASS CHOCOLATE IN BOTH OF MY NOSTRILS (SNORT) OH FUCK YEAH (SNORT) SLURP MY POOP-CHUTE CLEAN (SNORT) OH YEAH BABY AND BE SURE TO LAP DOWN ALL OF MY ANAL SAUCE AS WELL (SNORT) DON'T FORGET TO LICK MY SHRIVELED SISSY-SACK AND CHODE (SNNNNNOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRTTTT) HAAAAAAAAAAAA….HEY ITS GETTING HOT, AM' HOW ABOUT COOLING US OFF A BIT?" Pearl asked.

"Okay, I've been meaning to fit into a new bathing suit!" Amethyst obliged as she touched the back of her mouth and vomited all over the two lovers before her.

"OH YEAH THANKS AM'! SAY COME JOIN US, YOU TO STEVEN!" Ordered Pearl.

Steven and Amethyst joined w/ out hesitation.

*20 minutes of the Gems' throw up/crap wrestling later*

Pearl, covered head-to-toe in excrement/puke emerged from the group of Shit/bile-drenched gems, and looked towards the audience.

"TAAAAAAAA-DAAAAAAAAAAA!" Said the shit/bile ballerina fairy.

(Dead silence)

Double Dee calls from Audience.

"HEY PEARL, DO YOU HAVE ANY MEMORIES OF LAPIS AND REBECCA SUGAR THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE?" Double Dee asked while Lapis is sitting next to him, smiling like a child on Christmas Morning.

"DO I?!" Pearl said rhetorically. Using her Gem, she shows all the bad things she, and the other gems have done to Lapis as well as Sugar's actions. Images of abuse, corruption and degeneracy were projected for the audience. The reactions were anything but pleasant.

(Sugar abusing Lapis)

"Mandy I'm scared…Mandy?" Billy said as he looked over to find that Mandy was braindead from the experience along with Grim and Irwin.

(Rule 34 of that racist character Concrete)

"I don't feel so….(vomits blood)" said Johnny Bravo.

(Sugar trying to sing but failing miserably)

"Jake hold me." Said a sad Finn as an equally sad Jake held him.

(Sugar convincing then president Stuart Snyder to cancel Toonami and replace it w/ CN REAL)

"That fucking BITCH!" Said TOM 3 from Toonami as he crushed the arms of his chair.

But the worst was when Sugar became Lapis' first kiss.

*Booth*

Miller slowly turned her enraged face towards Rebecca Sugar.

Sugar was too shocked to come up w/ a comprehensive response.

"We're DONE." Replied a disappointed Miller.

As Miller was heading for the door, a demented Sugar pulled out a Feminist-Frequency pen, grabbed Miller from behind and pointed said pen to her neck.

"What is the meaning of…" Miller tried to ask.

"SHUT IT! (to guards) DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND HANDCUFF YOURSELVES! (guards do as their told before Rebecca turns to the audience) ALL RIGHT YOU MORONS I TRIED TO THROW A GREAT PARTY BUT NOW THE PARTY'S OVER! I'VE HAD IT W/ ALL YOU RIGHT-WINGERS RUINING MY FUN!" Sugar roared as she held CN'S president hostage.

"You do realize that most of us voted 3rd party, right?" Asked Double Dee.

"YEAH…WELL…THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT: I'M LEAVING WITH MILLER AND IF ANY OF YOU TRY TO STOP ME, (pushes pen closer to Christina's throat) I'LL WRITE THE BITCH OFF!" Rebecca threatened.

(crickets chirping)

"Okay are you even trying anymore?" Double Dee questioned.

"FUCK THIS! (Talks to watch which is a transmitter.) LINDSAY, I'M READY." Said Sugar as she led Miller to the roof.

*The Roof*

Sugar is still holding Miller Hostage, while being protected by the other Gems (aside from Lapis, Jasper and Peridot).

*Helicopter*

Lindsay Amer and Teddy from Queer Kids Stuff are making their final approach to the theatre in a rainbow-littered Helicopter. Lindsay is also doing a livestream.

"Hey kids I'm Lindsay and this is my best friend Teddy, and today we're going to save our hero Rebecca Sugar! Said Lindsay.

"I'm super EXCITED!" Said Teddy.

"That's right Teddy and (Teddy's phone goes off) what's that?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh, it's just another notification that Drunken Uncle made a response to one of our videos." Teddy answered.

Just then Lindsay goes on a huge, feminazi tirade about Drunken Uncle.

(A/N: Drunken Uncle is a great Youtuber)

"Lindsay you're scaring me!" Said Teddy.

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING LITTLE BEAR!" Lindsay replied as she pulled out a hidden knife and threw it at Teddy. With only a few seconds to react, Teddy ducked, allowing the knife to hit the controls. Smoke started getting into the engine, causing the Helicopter to explode mid-air. Lindsay managed to bail from the helicopter and landed in a full construction, garbage container.

The rotors of the Helicopter flew off and decapitate the Gems, killing them except for Pearl who only loses her limbs. A small fragment hits Sugar's right shoulder, causing her to drop her pen. Miller takes this time to elbow Sugar in the gut and run downstairs and uncuffs her guards.

Wheezing and curled on her knees, Sugar looks to the wreckage of what was once her Crystal Gems, and notices that Pearl is still alive. Pearl (back to normal) spits out blood and notices Sugar.

"Mama… you've come to help me?" Pearl asked.

"...I gave you everything…" Sugar says as she slowly grabs pen from the ground.

"What?" Asked the confused Gem.

"Don't act stupid, I had a shot at the gold and you were a lead role, and that stunt was all I got?!" Sugar asked angrily as she clenched the pen.

"Mama, I don't understand!" Pearl replied in a fearful tone.

"Check your gem." Sugar ordered.

As Pearl opened what her gem caught, she was greeted by a grotesque version of herself engaging in racist, sexist and vile acts and to top it all off, scat fetishism. Words couldn't describe what she had witnessed. She then looked to Sugar who towered over the helpless Gem.

Before Pearl could retort, Sugar jammed the sharp pen into the Gem's Voice-Box.

But as Sugar was about to deliver the final blow, she heard a simple "Ahem" behind her. Sugar turns abound only to be greeted by a huge water-fist to the face. The last thing Sugar sees before blacking out is Lapis and Edd.

As the authorities handed the situation, Lindsay's hand emerges from the garbage container as she hoists herself up.

A/N: Yup, one more chapter to go!