I just wanna say this type of story will be done for Naruto and everybody else in the Hidden Leaf Village in a separate story.
"I just wanna say that whoever wrote 'If I see any complaints about me today, I'll whoop everyone's ass!' in the hallway, you will do no such thing." said Konan.
"I wish he would try," said Sasori.
"Speaking of which..." Kakuzu pulled out a spelling book and threw it at Hidan's forehead.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, ASSHOLE!?"
"Because you can't spell, duh!" said Kisame.
"Who asked you?"
"You can't spell," said Kakuzu. "I better see you use it before I make you."
"You can't make me do shit!"
"Wanna see?"
"AHEM!" said Konan.
1) We have rats and they live underneath Hidan's armpits.
"Whoever wrote that is fucking stupid," said Hidan.
"Maybe if you took a bath, maybe you wouldn't smell like a wet rat when you lift up your arms!" said Sasori.
"Plus you need to shave that forest too. First time I saw you lift those arms up, I thought I saw rats clinching to your armpits." said Zetsu.
"At least I can grow hair!" Hidan glared him.
"Last time I checked there's hair on my head, you ugly, stinkin' bastard!"
2) Hidan still owes me five dollars. Why does he need money because he sure isn't spending it on anything but food. What he needs to spend it on is new underwear. As much money as we get paid, there's no excuse to be walking around wearing hole filled underwear that smell like horse shit.
"He owes me money too!" said Tobi.
"Who the fuck is staring at my fucking underwear!?" yelled Hidan.
"You walk around in them at night," said Kakuzu. "Someone's bound to see you, idiot."
3) Deidara likes to think he's the shit, but he's not. I hope he gets his shit rocked so we can all laugh at him.
"I'll be laughing when I fuck whoever wrote that!" grumbled Deidara.
4) Hidan's the stupidest bastard in the Akatsuki.
"They aren't wrong," said Kakuzu.
"What's that supposed to mean, Shithead?!" Hidan yelled at the much older man.
"Take a wild guess, moron. You can't spell, you don't think rationally half the time, and you just barely know what soap is."
"BURN!" said Kisame.
"Shut up Jaws!"
5) You so dan ugly, yo mamamay didn't want you!
"Stupid fuck," said Deidara.
"I will come over there and beat your ass!" yelled Hidan ready to fight Deidara.
"I can't help it that you can't spell!"
"At least I know how to wipe my ass!"
6) Dear Diary: Hidan has a crush on Kisame. He likes to masturbate to Kisame's hair and stuff. SO GAY! Anyway, I eated a cheeseburger. I think it was Hidan's. Why can't I stop talking about Hidan? Probably 'cuz I like talking smack about how lame Hidan is. He is so sneaky, but Tobi sees all! As a matter of fact I saw Hidan dress up like Itachi and fap with Kisame-sempai. Tobi watched. Sasori was eating some popcorn with Konan and Zetsu in the closet. Tobi ate some too, but they didn't see Tobi. I have to go now. Konan is going to fap with somebody named Jiariya 'cuz Leader doesn't like her. Why would she think that? I've seen Leader-sama touch his thingy and say "KONAN! FUCK YEAH! SUCK THAT DICK!" and there isn't anybody there except Leader-sama sitting there naked touching himself like Hidan…does that mean Leader is a loser too? Oh well… Sighed Tobi aka the lollipop…oops! I mean this isn't TOBI! THIS IS ITACHI!
Everyone just blinked at this, not able to come up with some kind of retort or response from how utterly ridiculous the "complaint" was. The only thing anybody said was from Kisame. "What the fuck?"
7) Tobi smells like my ass.
"So you've decided to embrace the fact that your ass stinks, huh?" smirked Sasori at the blonde man. "Too bad everywhere you go, you smell your own ass instead of how someone truly smells."
"I didn't write that, you walking freak, un!"
"I may be a freak, but I'm a freak with clean underwear," He pointed out.
8) Itachi is fucking hideous.
"To each their own," said Itachi simply.
9) I wonder if Itachi braids his pubes so he can find his dick. I bet it fucking stinks like ass down there when he gets too lazy to braid it and has to piss.
"Even if I had long hair down there, I know how to bathe to get rid of the smell." said Itachi. "Maybe that would be a problem for you since you have poor hygiene, Hidan."
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" said Deidara and Kisame.
"Clean your ass!" said Hidan throwing toilet paper at the younger man.
"CLEAN YOUR ASS!" He threw it back.
"CLEAN BOTH YOUR ASSES!" boomed Pain's voice scaring the shit out of some of the members there. He threw a bar of soap at both of them.
"Pain what are you doing here?" said Konan surprised. Pain had been busy with a few matters in the village so she hadn't expected him back at this early in the day.
"I wanted to come by and see you about something and overheard a few things." He said as he looked around the room. "I think from now on I should be participating in this little meeting starting tomorrow. What do you say, Konan?"
"Whatever you wish, Pain." On the inside Konan knew this would be trouble for just about all of them, but she couldn't tell Pain no. They were just going to be in deep ship with Pain and Konan seriously began debating on if she wanted to stick around to see how pissed her friend would be.
