Chapter 4:The Golden Woman
August, 1870
Paris, France
Christine
I didn't like her, the excitable, golden woman called 'Madame Valérius'. She wasn't golden, of course, but she was clad in it from head to foot, her gown, her hat, and even her gloves appeared to be made of gold. She and her husband were very clearly wealthy, not that that bothered me. Papa said not to be too hard on wealthy people despite their many faults. I'd never disliked anyone for being wealthy.
No, it was not her money that bothered me. It was the way she was frequently pinching my cheeks, or tapping my nose, or lifting me up to her in uncomfortably tight embraces. Even for my age, I was little, and I had no hope of my feet reaching the ground once she was determined to hug me. I knew she was trying to be nice and that she was very fond of me, but I was not fond of being treated like the little doll everyone I met compared me to.
It didn't help that I didn't understand a word the woman spoke.
After Papa and I began traveling with fairs so that he could play violin and I could sing, Madame Valérius' husband, Professor Valérius, found us. He said he was surprised that someone my age already had such control and such a beautiful voice, and he offered to provide a proper musical education for me. Papa readily agreed, and I saw the pride in his eyes even then. That night, he had told me that I would accomplish all he'd ever wanted for me. I would sing upon a vast stage and entrance many. Then he told me the tale of an Angel of Music.
I'd listened with wide, eager eyes and clung to his every word. All my life, Papa had been telling me wonderful stories, but this one was different. The tale of little Lotte and her Angel of Music made me feel more than any of the others had.
"Will I ever meet the Angel of Music, Papa?" I'd asked him eagerly, practically bouncing up and down in my enthusiasm.
Papa laughed, his blue eyes twinkling merrily. "Perhaps you will one day, Christine."
Oh, I desperately hoped I would! The idea of meeting an angel at all was exciting, but an angel whose sole purpose was to bring beautiful music to the world? I couldn't imagine an angel closer to heaven. Music was the greatest gift humans had been given other than love – that's what Papa always said. If I had the Angel of Music, I could really do all that Papa wanted me to do.
The next day, Professor Valérius brought us into his lovely carriage – which I liked because it was bright purple – and we set off for Gothenburg.
We didn't stay in Gothenburg very long. Professor Valérius wanted to return to his wife. He told me I'd like her, and he'd even said she could be like a second mama to me. I hadn't quite known how to feel when he'd said so; I liked the idea of having another woman to look up to, but I didn't imagine that anyone could ever replace my mama. She was the most beautiful and kind lady in the whole, wide world. There would never be anyone else who was just like her.
And this woman was definitely not like her.
She spoke no Swedish, and I spoke no French, so though we spent much time together, we both said very little. She sometimes tried to speak to me, lifting items and stating the names of them. I'd learn the words for 'cat' since I almost always had Melody in my arms, and I'd learned how to say 'father', though I never did. She taught me a few other words – angel, music, friend – but I still didn't understand most of what she said to me.
I had no reason not to like her; in fact, I was going against my very nature by not, but I couldn't shake the feeling that she was trying to replace Mama, and especially when Papa was gone and Madame Valérius was left in charge of me. She would try to do my hair, and she tried to help me dress, and she would even sing to me when I went to bed, though she wasn't very good at it. She was good to me, and she never grew cross, even when I deserved it, but I didn't want her. I wanted Papa.
I was sitting on the floor of my new bedroom, playing with Melody, when Papa walked in. A loud shriek came from me as I launched myself into his arms, peppering his face with little kisses. I'd missed him so terribly, as I always did when he was away.
"Papa!" I cried in delight. "I'm so happy to see you!"
He chuckled. "And I you, my little one. Have you been good for Madame Valérius?"
I blushed, shrugging in non-committal fashion. I'd learned that, in such situations, it was best to change the subject. "I've missed you, Papa. And I've missed hearing your stories! Will you please, please tell me the one of the Angel of Music?"
"You've heard that one a hundred times, Christine. Wouldn't you rather hear a new one?"
I shook my golden head, grinning. I didn't care how many times I'd heard the story of the Angel of Music. It was my favorite. I liked the way Papa's voice sounded when he told it to me. I liked the words he used. I loved the story, and I was still picking up on little details I'd missed before. My favorite part was that I could imagine it, the strong, heavenly voice, and how wise and kind the Angel of Music was. Each time I heard his story, I yearned to meet him more and more.
"Hmm. Perhaps I will tell you… once you tell me what you have been doing in my absence."
I released a heavy sigh. Papa was no fool. He knew I wasn't particularly fond of Madame Valérius, and he knew that I was trying very deliberately not to be. He'd scolded me about it many times, though not very harshly, and pleaded with me to try. He'd often asked why I didn't like her, but I never told him. I didn't want to make him sad by reminding him of Mama. I knew he missed her just as much as I did, and I didn't want him to be upset.
"I've been practicing my singing. Professor Valérius has found me a good teacher. And I've been playing with Melody." I gestured to my snowy cat. "Madame Valérius tried to teach me to draw. I am not very good at it though, so I gave up."
"It that the real reason you gave up, Christine?"
When Papa was serious, he got this look in his eyes that could lure the truth from anyone. His eyebrows would pull together, and he would purse his lips, his expression not quite a glare, but definitely heading in that direction.
I sighed again. "No. Papa, she is nice enough, I just… She's not Mama, and she is trying to be. I feel like she's trying to erase Mama from my mind."
"Oh, Christine." He carried me over to my bed, sitting down and settling me upon his lap. "No one can ever take your mama from you. Madame Valérius is not trying to. She loves you though, Christine. She is trying to be your friend. Please try to accept her. She is your guardian now. If anything happens to me, she will be your caretaker."
My eyes went wide in alarm. "What is going to happen to you, Papa?"
"Nothing. Nothing will happen to me, little one." His arms tightened. "Don't you worry."
Assured by his simple words, I leaned back against him. I guessed, if he really wanted me to, I could try to be Madame Valérius' friend.
