Chapter Four: Secrets

Pacifica asked, "What's with this shelf of memories, anyway? Why were they alarmed?"

Agatha Doakes, last member of the Society of the Blind Eye (except for Pacifica, who has just joined) answered, "That's the Leadership Ledge. Memories of leaders of our society. That blank space on the right side is for our founder."

"Old Man McGucket," said Pacifica. "I saw his tape. So that means my father used to lead you?"

"I'm a little hazy on that, but I think so, yes," said Agatha.

"And the one beside his, Jeffrey Cannuck?"

"That's our last leader. He went by the nickname of Blind Ivan," said Agatha.

"What happened to him?" asked Pacifica.

"Our enemies wiped his memories worst of all. He doesn't even remember his name. Now he's a wandering banjo minstrel who calls himself Toot-Toot McBumbersnazzle."

"That's terrible," said Pacifica.

"Someday I want revenge on them," said Agatha.

"I'll help you," said Pacifica. "But we have to deal with Bill first."

"If we can," said Agatha. "It seems hopeless."

"We have to try," said Pacifica. "I'm going to get my father to listen to his tape in case we have questions."

"He's here with you?" asked Agatha.

"Yes, but don't be surprised that he's wearing one of your robes with the hood up," said Pacifica.

"Our former leader is welcome to a robe," said Agatha.

"It's because of what Bill did to his face. You don't want to see it if you don't have to, since you don't have a memory gun to help you forget."


A young Preston Northwest spoke. Beside him was the young McGucket, with his hair going prematurely gray, a confused look on his face.

"I am Preston Northwest. My family credentials need no introduction. And beside me is Mr. Fiddleford McGucket, the inventor of an amazing device to erase memories. A few days ago he had an accident and ran into my car."

"I did?" asked McGucket.

"Don't interrupt, McGucket. He apologized and explained about his memory device. He was hoping to help people to forget traumatic events, especially encounters with the supernatural. I offered to help him found a secret society, which will be just the thing to help keep this town under control, that is to say, to control the issue of troubling memories.

"I offered the use of these secret rooms below the museum, which have been in our family for generations. I also gathered all of you, good candidates for this work.

"Not only will we be helping the town, we will be able to remove any troubling memories of our own. For example, I want to be able to pass a lie-detector test, in case it ever comes up, about a certain theft of money from my father's safe. Will you help me operate the device, McGucket?"

"Sure thing," said McGucket. "You just twiddle the knobby here and spell out what you wanna forget, like 'THEFT FROM FATHER'S SAFE'. Then just point and shoot."

"And it's safe?" asked Preston.

"I'm living proof," said McGucket.

"Well, yes, but we'll make sure not to use it to excess," said Preston. He operated the gun and then smiled. "Whatever it was I wanted to forget, I don't recall it any more."

There was a cheer from the people in the room.


More records followed, showing erasure of tax frauds and embezzlements over the years.

"Dad, you've done a lot of bad stuff," said Pacifica. "I knew our ancestors were crooks from that gallery room at home, but not about you."

Preston just shook his head, and scrawled on a piece of paper that Agatha had found for him, "I don't remember."

"It hardly matters now," said Agatha. "There's no law and order."

The last record had something of interest.

"I have something major to forget this time. I just fulfilled a deal with a demon," said Preston. "It's been a family issue for generations. One of my ancestors made the deal a long time ago, to rise from a humble street sweeper to be a leader of men, in exchange for future favors from his descendants."

"What were the specifics of what you did, so that I can spell it out and not erase too much?" said an off-screen voice with a British accent.

"I sent my daughter Pacifica to a fair with orders to win an animal," said Preston.

"That doesn't sound too bad," said the other voice.

"It could have been much worse. It was part of a chain of events to bring the demon into power in this world. My child is part of a wheel of prophecy symbols: the Llama."

"All right, what shall I erase?"

"Do this: 'PACIFICA IN DEMON PROPHECY'."

The erasure happened.

"I also want to resign from the Society of the Blind Eye, and turn leadership over to you, Blind Ivan. Please erase my memories of the Society."

This was also done.


"You did what!? You made me part of a scheme to bring that demon into the world!?" Pacifica shouted at her father.

Preston wrote, "I forget. I'm sorry."

"I won a stupid chicken, and it pecked my head all the way home," said Pacifica. "And now Bill is here ruling the world, somehow thanks to that. No wonder you thought he might do something nice for you."

Preston wrote, "He cursed my face."

"You deserve it," said Pacifica.

"Hold on," said Agatha. "That memory erasure was very specific. You must know a lot about the prophecy still."

Preston nodded, and wrote, "I will help all I can."

"What is the wheel of prophecy symbols?" Agatha asked.

Preston drew a ring of symbols. (He had recovered a little sight in his one remaining eye, enough to see at close range.)

"There's the Llama," said Pacifica. "A star with a rainbow, a heart, glasses, a question mark, ice, a fish or something, a pine tree, a star with an eye in it, and a six-fingered hand. I've seen some of those around town. The pine tree is on Dipper's hat, and the hand is on his book. The fish thing is on Stanford Pine's fez. Do you know who the others are?"

Preston wrote, "No."

"If we can find these people, and figure out what we did, maybe there's a way to undo it," said Pacifica.

"Maybe," said Agatha.

"And what the symbols mean. Like, why am I the Llama?" asked Pacifica.

Preston wrote, "My father did illegal genetic experiments. You have some llama genes."

"Oh, wonderful!" said Pacifica. "Why?"

Preston wrote, "To be trainable as the perfect daughter."

"You're horrible," said Pacifica. "I wish I had just..."

"We should watch the other tape, of Blind Ivan," Agatha suggested, trying to distract Pacifica from the family fight that was developing.

"I guess," said Pacifica. "But I doubt he knows anything."


"My name is Jeffrey Cannuck, though I prefer to be known from now on as Blind Ivan. I have two things I wish to forget."

"What are they?" asked McGucket's voice.

"First is a misspelled tattoo. In my foolish youth I had my head tattooed so I could work as a model for a phrenology teacher. That's the science of reading personalities through the bumps on one's head. I've since learned it's complete nonsense, but it's too late now. One tattoo says 'REELEX' instead of "REFLEX'. I'm ashamed of it and I want to forget," said Blind Ivan.

"What else?" asked McGucket.

"I worked for a time with the same genius researcher that you once did, and like you I had a terrible experience that I wish to forget," said Ivan. "The researcher wanted to install a metal plate in his head to protect his mind from invasion by a dream demon. He couldn't trust anyone, but he had to have someone monitor while his robotic surgeon was doing the operation. He also had to have help building a secret bunker under a fake tree near his home, and stocking it with emergency food supplies to last for years, in case of an apocalypse he was afraid would happen."

"That could be real bad, I reckon," said McGucket. "I sorta remember doin' some calculations on a laptop computer about that... Naw, I plumb forget."

"One night I was working late with him and I started dozing off. Something came into my mind, a demon who looked like a yellow triangle, who said his name was Bill Cipher. He was trying to get me to make a deal with him when the researcher followed him into my mind and forced me to wake up. He knew an incantation to do that sort of thing. He had a machine to encode my thoughts so the demon could never get into my mind again. But it was all absolutely horrifying. I want to forget it all now."

"What shall I erase?" asked McGucket.

"Do this: 'MY TIME WITH STANFORD PINES'," said Ivan.

The eraser gun did its work.


"Stanford Pines!" said Pacifica. "All these years he's been fooling the town with his idiot act, but he's the genius behind Dipper's book of magic!"

"When he was running for mayor, sometimes he would act ridiculous, but sometimes he said just the right things," said Agatha.

"He's probably down in that bunker. We have to find it, and him," said Pacifica. "We're running out of food down here, anyway."

"We'll have to be careful. The upper level of museum isn't safe," said Agatha. "Last time I was up there I saw living dinosaur bones running around."

"The bunker is in a fake tree near the Mystery Shack," said Pacifica. "We'll move out and find it. Stan Pines must know more about Bill than anyone alive. We'll work with him on a plan."

Preston Northwest moaned.

"Yes, 'Father dear', you can come with us," said Pacifica. "I made a commitment to help you survive and I'm sticking to it."