Talking with techies always made her brain feel like it had been turned into soup, and tonight was no different. It had taken a lot longer than she expected (about three hours longer) to go over suggested maintenance, throwing out some things due to lack of funds or necessity and approving others that would give them an edge against the Collectors. She'd had the foresight to message Tali and Joker to have them, along with EDI, assist her with any specific questions about lag or engine power that might come up. Finally, they had a plan of action that would not only fortify the ship, but it would knock a full day off the retrofit. She and Tali were headed the same direction—she had found a nice hotel room and was planning on spending it with another quarian on pilgrimage she'd run into at the bar. Shepard had been merciless in ribbing her with innuendos most of the night until Tali was giggling and stuttering almost constantly and Joker gave her the stink-eye and made her stop so he could eventually go get some sleep.

In the stairwell on the way back to the transit hub, Tali said, "So, you and Garrus are getting pretty serious, huh?"

Shepard was thrown for a loop and could only sputter a bit before saying, "What? Serious? No, we're—what?"

Tali laughed and poked her friend affectionately. "You sound like me now. Serves you right for teasing me, Shepard. I meant that you're wearing his scent now, so . . . that means you're officially together, right? It's about time, you two have always been so cute with each other."

"No, I forgot to bring my soap with me so I used his. Why, does that mean something in turian culture?"

"Wearing someone's scent usually means you're in a relationship with that person. It probably stems from some biological imperative to mark their territory or something; the krogan do something similar." She glanced over at Shepard, her eyes gleaming behind her mask. "So, you aren't with Garrus? He mentioned that you two were going to spend shore leave together."

"As friends, yeah." Something about the way she said that made Tali raise an eyebrow—at least, Shepard thought that was what she was doing. One eye opened a little wider than the other, anyway.

"You don't sound so sure."

"It's just . . ." She sighed and let her hands drop to her sides. "Okay, you know that turians are a lot more open about sex than humans tend to be, right?"

"And most other species, for that matter."

"Yeah, well, me and Garrus slept together. Twice."

"What?!" Tali exclaimed and Shepard shushed her. "You can't tell me something like that and not give me details, Shepard!"

"I'm not telling you what he's like in bed, Tali."

"Party pooper." Shepard laughed out loud at her usage of human slang, and she shook her head.

"Okay, but I swear to god if you tell anyone, I'll uninstall your nerve stim program."

"You wouldn't."

"You're right, I wouldn't. But seriously, don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Girl talk stays between girls, Shep. You can trust me. Now, dish." So Shepard told her how it went and Tali gave little sighs and "awww!" sounds at the appropriate times, and by the end of it, Tali was so excited at the prospect of two of her best friends getting together that she was bouncing on her toes.

"So, do you want more out of him than that?"

"I don't know, Tali. We've been friends for a long time; what if we just don't work as a couple? I don't want to lose what we already have."

"You'll never know unless you try." Tali stopped and faced her, touching her shoulder. "You humans have a saying—it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. You know what the stakes are, Shepard. There's no guarantee we'll make it back through the Omega-4 relay. This is your chance to do what you want . . . what feels right."

"I hope you're right."

"You know I am."

The two friends hugged then went their separate ways, and Shepard was left alone with her thoughts. Decidedly more optimistic thoughts than she'd been having, too.

When she finally made it back to the apartment, she knocked on the door and waited but no one answered. She tried again with the same result so, hoping Garrus wouldn't mind too much, she hacked the door open and stepped into the gloom. Thinking he must have gone to bed already, she flipped the light on and was surprised to see him passed out on the couch, a bottle of brandy in front of him. There wasn't a lot missing from it, though; it had been a long day, and he was probably just having a night cap before it caught up with him. She considered just letting him sleep it off on the couch, but he was leaning over the arm rest with his head on his arms. He'd tried to sleep in a similar position once in the Mako and it had played merry hell with his back for the rest of the day, so she crouched down next to him and rubbed his shoulders, shaking him gently.

"Hey. Hey, Garrus."

He snapped awake immediately and knocked her on her butt, sitting up straight with wide, darting eyes before he finally registered where he was. His features twisted into a grimace and he slouched forward, pressing his fingers into his temples.

"Ow."

"Headache?" she asked, picking herself up off the floor. Never sneak up on a sleeping turian, you'd think I'd remember that.

"Yeah. Serves me right for drinking right before falling asleep."

"Come on, big guy, let's get you to bed." She helped him up and he plodded into the bedroom, then flopped face down on the mattress while she went to get some painkillers. Shepard had him sit up to take the pills and sat down on the edge of the bed next to him.

"Thanks," he said and lay back down. Shepard took his hand and started working her thumbs into his palm. It was something her mom used to do when she got migraines, and evidently it worked on turians, too—some of the tightness in his face had eased.

"You still smell like my soap," he said, already half-asleep again.

"Sorry, I'll get my own tomorrow."

"You don't have to. I like it."

Shepard went still. "You mean that?"

"Mmmhmm. You can wear me around all you want." His hand closed on hers, then he brought it up to his face and inhaled, brushing his mouth across her wrist and making her heart beat like a runaway train. He lowered it to his chest and his breathing slowed, the last lines of tension melting from his face in sleep.

Shepard's omnitool pinged again and, once she'd ascertained the sound hadn't woken Garrus, she saw that there was a new message from Mordin.

JS,

Believe I have the information you asked for. Took the liberty of contacting S.B. for conference. Can you meet at the Presidium Commons at 11:30 hrs?

MS

She stared at the message in awe. Could he really have it already?

MS,

That sounds fine. See you then. By the way, you're a genius.

JS

She gently extricated her hand from Garrus' loose grip and as she headed into the bathroom, she got a reply.

JS,

I know. ;)

MS

She couldn't help but chuckle as she stepped into the shower. She used Garrus' soap again, too-as long as he didn't mind, she could at least pretend they were together.


The next day Garrus woke up later than usual, whether from drink or the painkillers he didn't know, and Shepard was already gone. She'd left him a message saying she was going out to run some errands and not to expect her back until later, and it was littered with those emoticons she was so fond of using.

There were some new sniper rifle mods for his Viper that he wanted, so he went to the shops on the Presidium to see if Elkoss Arsenal had any in stock. Across the Commons he saw Shepard, Liara, and Mordin with their heads together over a collection of datapads at a table on the balcony. As Garrus approached, Mordin stood up to leave and gave him a distracted greeting as he passed. Shepard was surprised to see him and Liara began surreptitiously clearing away the datapads.

"Liara, nice to see you away from Hagalaz," he said. "I'm not interrupting, am I?"

"Of course not, Garrus. It's good to see you as always. I was—that is to say, we—"

"—were just catching up a bit, and Mordin wanted to talk about some ideas he had about the Collectors," Shepard said innocently, which immediately made him suspicious. Shepard didn't do innocent, but if she didn't want to talk about it that was fine with him.

"I'll see you later, Shepard. Garrus." Liara stood and took a large case from under her seat and left.

"Sorry for ditching you," Shepard said.

"No problem. I'm glad I caught you, though. I . . . wanted to talk to you about something." He took the seat Liara had just vacated, his mouth suddenly too dry.

"Okay, shoot."

"About us."

She had to quash a sudden jolt of anxiety that coursed through her at those words. "Oh?"

"Well . . . um . . ." He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to think of where to begin. "Before all this started, I never really thought about an inter-species relationship before . . . and damn, saying it like that doesn't make it sound any better." He knew he was rambling, but he couldn't seem to help himself. The expectant look Shepard was giving him wasn't helping, either. "I know that we started sleeping together to blow off steam, but I—" Why was it suddenly so hard to talk to her? She reached out and laced her fingers with his and that small touch reassured him. "I want more. I . . . care for you, maybe more than I should. I want something real that's just for us, before we throw ourselves into hell for the good of the galaxy."

Shepard leaned forward until their foreheads met and he closed his eyes, stroking her cheek. "I want that too, Garrus. You know, I'm glad you were the one to say something. I probably would have been all beet-red and fidgety."

"Now I kinda wish I had waited. It would have been worth it to see Commander Shepard, all-around interstellar badass, tripping over herself." She gave him a look that was supposed to be indignant but she was too happy to manage it.

"We need to go pack," she said regretfully. "I was just about to send out the all-hands alert when you showed up."

They stood and started toward the transit hub, and he fell into step beside her. They were nearly there when he said, "Hang on a second, I want to do something first." He led her into a relatively secluded corner, pulled her against him, and bent down to kiss her.

It was very obvious he was inexperienced but, after a little hands-on instruction, he proved to be a quick study. His mouth was surprisingly pliant and his tongue more than made up for his lack of lips (at least, lips as Shepard knew them). And she was having a lot of fun getting to know his—the way he tasted, his hands warm and heavy on her back, the way he moaned into her mouth when she stroked his fringe. With one last lingering press of lips to plates they parted, and Shepard's head was spinning.

"I think I can see the appeal now," he said huskily, his sub-vocals a deep basso profundo rumble that vibrated through her body.

"You've never done that before?"

He shook his head. "Watched some vids, though. How'd I do?"

"Hmmm, I think we'll have to practice a lot more. You know, to perfect your technique." She tilted her face up to his and lightly brushed her lips against his mandible. "Is there anything turians do that you'd like me to try?"

"If I think of something, I'll let you know." He slipped his arm around her waist and they proceeded to his apartment for the last time. They took their time retrieving their things, drawing out these few minutes before returning to the ship and the weight of the mission closed around them once more.


Two days later:

All the upgrades had been installed, the team was a well-oiled machine, and Garrus only had one more scan of the weapons systems to perform before the ship would be ready. Shepard had gone on to her cabin, and every time he thought about her it did wonderful things to his insides. He was realistic about their odds, but the fact that he had something to look forward to afterward was making him downright impatient to be off to kick the living shit out of the Collectors.

He'd considered calling Solana or his father before the jump, but he was torn. On the one hand, it would be nice to talk to them one last time if something went wrong; on the other, maybe it was better not to say anything at all. Things had been strained between them lately and he really wasn't in the mood for another lecture from his father, especially now.

He brought up his omnitool twice before reconsidering and stowing it again. The third time, he noticed the message icon blinking; it was from Helos Medical Institute. His heart dropped through the floor as he brought it up, fearing the worst.

Then he read the message again, and it didn't make any more sense the second time. Who could have done this? There wasn't anyone outside his family who knew about his mother—only someone with access to his own personal messages would have any—

Oh.

Someone like the Shadow Broker.

Oh.

He caught himself against the console just before his knees gave out from under him and he pushed his knuckles against his mouth to muffle the sounds he was making as he read the message a third time.

Oh, Shepard.