But then she stopped laughing immediately about his new military-like hair cut when she saw why.
His head was slightly turned towards her when she walked into the room, but as she started walking around his bed she could see that a piece of gauze was taped starting from behind his left ear to almost all the way to the other side, as if he fell backwards on something when they were torturing him. He also had a bandage on his right temple and above his left eyebrow.
The parts of his skin that weren't covered in bandages seemed to be dyed purple from bruises.
Kensi inhaled deeply and took a seat in the chair next to his bed. This was going to be a long night.
-X-X-
The first time he woke up, he knew he was safe.
And he was 90 percent sure he wasn't dreaming.
If he was still locked up, he'd feel pain, and honestly, he couldn't feel anything right now. He hoped that was from the drugs the hospital had him on, and not because of any amputations.
He tried opening his eyes, but they would not cooperate with him. He tried to open his mouth to say something, but that too was a no-go.
How strong were these drugs? He asked himself, frustrated.
-X-X-
It was now 3 in the morning. Kensi's eyes were starting to close. Now that she was with Deeks she felt the total effects of the last couple of days weighing on her. She could use a couple hours of sleep. She got up to turn off the bedside lamp when she saw Deeks' hand twitch.
Kensi's eyes widened as she got closer to his bedside and grabbed the hand. "Deeks?" She whispered.
-X-X-
Deeks felt someone take hold of his hand.
"Deeks?" He heard. It was Kensi.
He was fighting to give her some sign that he heard her. He needed her to know that he was here. He tried squeezing her hand with his.
-X-X-
His hand twitched in hers again.
Kensi searched his face, wanting some movement that showed that he was present. She could see his eyes moving back and forth under his eye lids.
Perhaps he was just having a bad dream.
"You're going to be ok, Deeks." Tears welled in her eyes as she said that. She wanted him to be ok so badly. "You'll be ok..."
-X-X-
She was talking to him again, but his consciousness was starting to slip away as he drifted back to sleep.
-X-X-
The second time he woke up, the sun was rising. He surprisingly pried his eyes open enough to see the light.
His eyes immediately fell onto Kensi. She was hunched over in her chair, her forehead resting on the edge of his bed, and she was still holding his hand.
He tried to say something but his mind and mouth stilled seemed to be not functioning together. He wanted to say hi, her name, how much her neck was going to hurt if she kept sleeping like that, or anything really. He just wanted her to wake up and see her face.
He felt his eyes starting to close again, the rising sun making him squint.
He hated this. Hated being so weak that a simple blink exhausted him. He couldn't even sigh in frustration. It was like he was trapped in his own mind, he thought as he submitted to sleep once more.
-X-X-
It was now almost noon.
The nurse was nice enough to let Kensi take a quick shower in the bathroom that was connected to Deeks' room, so now she didn't reek of bad memories. Even though Deeks wasn't awake yet, the nurse also brought in a tray of food and said, "just in case."
Kensi took it as "just in case you get hungry" so she helped herself to the lime flavored jello.
She ate her snack while standing and staring out the window. The sun was shining brightly, no trace of the rain from yesterday.
As she was finishing the last bit of the small jello cup, she heard "Am I dead?"
"DEEKS!" Kensi spun around and practically ran to his bedside. She could finally see his blue eyes again.
"Am I dead?" He asked again, his voice quieter than usual and very groggy. "I feel like I should be dead."
"You aren't getting rid of me that easily." Kensi replied, repeating what she said to him the last time he was in the hospital.
"Do I know you?" He asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Very funny, Deeks." Kensi grabbed Deeks' hand with both of hers, jello cup forgotten and dropped on the floor in surprise when she heard his voice. "Let's not make this a habit."
He then cracked a crooked smile, "They could never break my funny bone." He cleared his throat, "how are you?"
"Me? I should be asking you that! Are you feeling ok? Do you want me to get a nurse? Actually, I probably should go call one. Do you think-?"
"You ate my jello." He cut her off.
"Well, you weren't awake yet."
"So that gives you permission to eat my jello?"
"Yes."
"Touché. But you still didn't answer my question, how are you?"
Kensi took a deep breath and looked away from Deeks. "Better," she looked back into Deeks' eyes. "Now that you're awake."
"Well, I promised."
"I'm glad you did."
And then they just stared at each other for a couple seconds before Deeks was surprisingly the
first to look away.
"So how's Sam?" He asked, still not looking at Kensi.
"He's ok. His heart is a little...sporadic at times, but the doctors think he'll be ok."
"Good. That's good." He said while looking at his hand laced with Kensi's. "And me?" He asked, finally looking back into Kensi's face. "What do the doctors say about me?"
"Honestly, they haven't told me anything. The doctor just said you were stable enough to move to a room." She gave him a weak smile, "And you look alright…despite the bullet wound…and cracked ribs…and broken arm…"
"Oh, is that all?" He asked sarcastically.
"And...um, Deeks...maybe you should look in a mirror..."
"Wait, what?" He dropped her hand and started touching his face, "what's wrong with it? Mouth, nose, two eyes, Kensi, what's-?" Then he froze as he touched his ear. "My...my hair?"
Kensi took out her phone and switched the camera view so it was like a mirror. She held it in front of Deeks' face. "Deeks, it's only hair, it'll-"
And then he started laughing. "I haven't had my hair like this since I was, like, five!" He turned his head slightly to the side and could now see the taped gauze. His smile faltered as he traced the beginning of the tape with his fingertips and he took in the purple hue of his face from all the bruises. "This is so bizarre," he said in a quieter voice. Kensi saw sadness cloud his eyes, and something else…fear, perhaps? "I feel like this is like…"
"A bad dream?" Kensi finished for him.
"Exactly. Except this is real. I'm not waking up."
_X_X_
A/N: So…Deeks is obviously a lot more hurt emotionally than he's letting on. Stay tuned!
And thanks for all the lovely reviews and favorites and follows!
