I'M BACK SUCKAS! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Before any of you start complaining about how this fic is illegal, I saw the reviews late, and I was almost done already and I didn't feel like deleting it all and might as well please some fans. But before I address that issue, thank you to everyone who provided me with the name of 'the Rubberband Man', and I hope you won't hate me for being too lazy to name everyone.

See bottom for notes.

Someone also wanted more lines from Bucky so here ya go!

Disclaimer: All rights go to Marvel.

'Rubberband Man' plays in the background. The caption 'SPACE' appeared on the screen.

The screen then showed a much smaller spaceship in hyperspeed. Two wings jutted from the sides, giving it the look of a giant metal seagull. Inside, someone was dancing along to the music. His back was to the camera.

"Ew. I prefer rock," Tony wrinkled his nose.

"Everyone is inclined to their own opinion, Tony," Steve said sternly(in his Captain America voice).

"Of course you would say that, Grandpa," Tony smirked.

"It's kinda catchy," Peter said, nodding his head to the music.

The camera rotated to show Peter Quill, singing and dancing a little in his seat. "Hey y'all, prepare yourself for the rubberband man," he sang.

"Huh, he's human," Clint said, surprised.

"Well, he's gotta be if he's singing 'Rubberband Man'," Scott said reasonably.

"I just pictured someone more… chitauri like," Clint said.

The camera panned down to show a more alien-like creature. A large, topless, gray figure with red markings all over his body, fast asleep. Next to him sat a gorgeous green woman with black and magenta hair, singing along, though not as loud as Quill. Above her, was a yawning racoon in clothes, sitting like any human being.

After a bit, he asked, "Why are we doin' this again?"

"Everyone heard the raccoon talk… right?" Wanda asked.

"You would think after being frozen for seventy years, fighting aliens, and seeing magic, this would be the least weird thing I've seen," Steve said.

"That's so cool!" Peter grinned.

"It's a distress signal Rocket, someone might be dying!" Gamora said sternly.

"I get that, but why are we doing it?" Rocket asked.

"Cause we're nice! And maybe whoever it is will give us a little cheddar cheese for our effort," Quill smirked.

"Which isn't the point," Gamora pointed.

"Which isn't the point," Quill said hastily.

"They're totally dating," Shuri said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"But if they don't cough up, then…" Quill continued.

"We take their ship," Drax said, who had woken up. Gamora's head snapped up to look at him.

"B-b-b, bingo!" Quill sang.

"Alright!" Rocket cheered.

"They're crooks," Steve paled.

"Are they bad guys?" Peter asked.

"With that music taste? Probably," Tony said.

"Probably not," Natasha said. "They're just greedy."

Quill looked down and saw Gamora giving him a look. Quill quickly shook his head, trying to communicate that he was kidding. Gamora turned back to the front of the ship.

"We are arriving," another alien in the back said. She had antennas sprouting from her forehead and large black pupils.

"Yeah, she's more of what I pictured," Clint said.

"She looks like a bug," Sam said.

"Alright, Guardians, don't forget this could be dangerous, so let's put on our mean faces," Quill said.

In the back, another alien was playing a video game. This one looked like a tree with limbs.

"Oh! Arcade Defender! I remember those," Scott said fondly.

"Wow, you are old," Shuri said.

"Hey!"

"Groot, put that thing away now. I don't want to tell you again," Quill said. After he did not put it away, he turned around to tell him again. "Groot."

"I am Groot," Groot said sassily.

"Woah!" Quill shouted.

"Language!" Rocket snapped.

"What did he say?" Sam asked.

"You don't want to know," Vision said.

"You can understand him?" Wanda looked at him curiously.

"Apparently," Vision shrugged.

"Hey!" Gamora said warningly.

"Wow," Drax whispered.

"I got some acorns on you kid," Quill snapped.

"Ever since you got a little sap, you're a total d-hole," Rocket yelled. "Keep it up and I'm gonna smash that thing to pieces!"

They dropped out of lightspeed to find a bunch of bodies and space junk. Mantis leaned forward in horror. "What happened?"

"Thor's ship…" Natasha whispered.

"Oh my god…" Quill looked like he was gonna be sick.

Gamora surveyed the scene with a dead face, trying to suppress her dread.

"Looks like we're not gettin' paid," Rocket said, not at all bothered.

"That raccoon is unbelievable," Bucky shook his head.

Just then, a body slammed into the ship's window, making the crew start back with a yelp.

"Wipers! Wipers! Get it off!" Rocket yelled in disgust.

"Is that…?" Vision said.

The camera zoomed in on the body's face, making it out to be Thor. Suddenly, his one eye snapped open. The crew emitted another cry of shock.

"That's Thor!" Steve said.

"He's alive!" Tony cheered.

"Of course it didn't kill him, he's a god!" Scott laughed.

They dropped Thor on a table in the back of the ship, Rocket sniffing his face.

"How the hell is this dude still alive?" Quill asked in disbelief.

"He is not a dude," Drax said, still trying to catch his breath. "You are a dude. This, this is a man. A handsome, muscular man," He pointed at Thor.

"Ouch," Rhodey said. "That's harsh."

"But true," Scott shrugged.

"I'm muscular," Quill said, offended.
"Yeah, who are you kidding, Quill? You're two sandwiches away from fat," Rocket scoffed.

"Meh, he's kinda on the chunky side," Shuri said.

"How do aliens know what sandwiches are?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah right," Quill scoffed.

"You have put on a little weight," Drax said, motioning to his belly.

"Gamora? Do you think I'm…?" Gamora stepped away from Quill, ignoring him. Quill looked at her in astonishment and betrayal.

"Double ouch," Rhodey said.

"He is anxious," Mantis said. She was leaning over Thor, touching his forehead, antennas glowing, "angry, he feels tremendous loss and guilt." She removed her hand.

"That's kinda creepy, it's like she can look into his head," Sam said.

"You know I can do that, right?" Wanda said coldly, and Sam spluttered.

"Why would he feel guilty?" Scott asked. "He hasn't done anything wrong."

"He probably thinks he could have done something to save his people, but didn't, and blames their deaths on himself," Peter said, and everyone looked at him. "What?"

"I'm not even going to ask," Sam said, and he turned back to the screen.

"He's like a pirate had a baby with an angel," Drax whispered.

"Wow, this is like a wake-up call for me, ok. Imma get a bowflex. Imma commit. I'm gonna get some dumbbells," Quill said.

"You know you can't eat dumbbells right?" Rocket said.

"It's like his muscles are made of cotati metal fibers," Gamora was feeling Thor's biceps while the men bantered.

Tony made a mental note to check out what those were. They were probably alien stuff and impossible to get, but he'll try.

"Stop massaging his muscles," Quill demanded, and Gamora dropped Thor's arm with an unnecessary thump, glaring at him.

"Someone's jealous," Peter smirked.

"Told ya they were dating," Shuri said.

"I never disagreed with that!" Peter exclaimed.

"Wake him up," Quill told Mantis.

She bent over him again, antennas glowing, and whispered "Wake!"

Thor lurched forward with a roar, the guardians scrambling out of the way. Thor ran forward, then saw he wasn't in the asgardian refugee ship and Thanos was not there. He slowly turned around, panting heavily. Behind him, the guardians were standing around the table, guns and weapons pointed at him.

"Who the hell are you guys?" Thor asked.

The screen changed to show Gamora looking out the window. "The entire time I knew Thanos he only ever had one goal."

Thor was drinking some soup, a blanket wrapped around him as she continued speaking. "To bring balance to the universe by wiping out half of all life. He used to kill people planet by planet. Massacre by massacre," Gamora turned away from the window.

"Like they did to Thor's people," Wanda said sadly.

"Including my own," Drax said.

"If he gets all six infinity stones he can do it with a snap of his fingers like this," she snapped her fingers.

There were gasps and shouts of disbelief.

"That's terrible!" Bucky said.

"That's why Squidward was talking about balance," Tony groaned.

"You seem to know a great deal about Thanos," Thor said suspiciously, staring into space, absentmindedly stirring his soup.

"Gamora is the daughter of Thanos," Drax said.

"Wait… what?!" almost everyone said at once.

"Ah ha! She's a bad guy!" Peter shouted, pointing at the screen.

"I don't think so," Natasha squinted at Gamora's expression.

"Why isn't she with the rest of her siblings?" Wanda asked.

Thor looked up. Gamora closed her eyes and lowered her head.

"Your father killed my brother!" Thor strode over to her in rage.

"He better not do anything stupid," Natasha said.

"Knowing how he reacted to me telling him to put his hammer down, he probably will," Steve said, recalling how Thor slammed his hammer down on his shield back in the forest, when they first met. Tony shuddered.

"Oh boy. Stepfather, technically. She hates him as much as you do," Quill said defensively. Thor ignored him and stood in front of her. She stared back without fear. After a moment, he patted her shoulder. "Families can be tough. Before my father died, he told me I had a half-sister which he imprisoned in Hel. Then she returned home, and stabbed me in the eye, so I had to kill her. I feel your pain."

"His family has issues," Tony said.

"So she's not a villain?" Peter asked, somewhat disappointed.

"I thought he was talking about his psycho brother," Clint scowled.

"I feel your pain as well," Quill cut in, "because, I mean it's not a competition but I've been through a lot. My father killed my mother, and then I had to kill my father. (Thor resumed drinking his soup, Gamora walked away, and Rocket rolled his eyes) It was hard. Probably even harder than having to kill your sister. Plus I came out with both my eyes," Quill finished, looking at Thor.

"Wow, that was so subtle," Tony said sarcastically.

"Jealous," Shuri said again.

"I need a hammer, not a spoon," Thor said to himself(at least I think that's what he said). He set down his bowl and walked away. "How do I open this thing is there some sort of four-digit code maybe?" He muttered to himself while trying to open the pod.

"Uh… what are you doing?" Rocket asked.

"Taking your pod," Thor said.

"He says it so casually," Clint rolled his eyes.

Quill cleared his throat. "No, you're not! You're not taking our pod, today."

"Did he make his voice deeper?" T'Challa asked. Shuri nodded numbly.

"Quill? Are you makin' your voice deeper?" Rocket asked.

"No."

Several people groaned.

"Yes you are. You're imitating the god-man," Drax said.

"No I'm not!" Quill protested.

"This is so cringy," Shuri sighed, burying her face in her hands. "It's not even funny."

"Try not to cringe challenge," Peter groaned.

"I failed at 'No you're not'," Scott said, and everyone agreed.

"He just did it again!" Mantis gasped.

"This is my voice!"
"Are you mocking me?" Thor growled.

"This is not going to go down well," Tony said.

"Are you mocking me?"

"Just stop."

"He's trying to copy me."

"ENOUGH!" Gamora interrupted. "We need to stop Thanos! Which means we need to find out where he's going next."

"I like her," Natasha smiled, and it was terrifying.

Clint scooched away from her and leaned over to whisper to Wanda, "We have to make sure those two don't meet. One terrifying badass is enough."

"Nowhere," Thor said, and continued to fiddle with the pod.

"But Thanos said he was going to Titan!" Scott said, remembering.

"He sent his children after the two on Earth, and he already has two. There are six in total. He still has two other stones to collect, he wouldn't be going to this Titan place yet," Vision explained.

"I'm surprised you even remembered that information Tic-Tac," Sam said.

"He must be going somewhere," Mantis said.

"Wait, no. Knowhere? It's a place, we've been there, it sucks," Quill said.

"There's a place called Nowhere?" Bucky snorted.

"Who was the smartass who named a place 'Nowhere'?" Clint asked.

"Someone who wanted to keep the place a secret, most likely," Natasha said.

"Excuse me, that's our food."

"Not anymore."

"He's raiding someone's food supply. I respect that," Scott said.

"Big mood," Shuri said.

"What?"

"She just agrees with you," Bucky translated.

"How!" T'Challa exclaimed. "I've been trying to understand her for years!" Bucky just shrugged.

Shuri shed an imaginary tear. "I have taught you well my padawan."

"Thor, why would he be going to Knowhere?" Gamora asked.

"Because for years, the Reality Stone's been safely stored by a man named the Collector," Thor said.

"If it's with the Collector, it's not safe. Only an idiot would give that man a stone," Quill said.

"Or a genius," Thor said.

"How do you know he's not going for one of the other stones?" Gamora asked.

"So far, she seems to be the only smart one in this group of idiots," Tony said.

"There are six stones out there. Thanos only has the power stone because he stole it last week, he decimated Xandar, and stole the space stone from me, when he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people. The time and mind stones are safe on earth, they're with the Avengers."

"THOR KNEW!" Clint leaped out of his chair. "HE KNEW ABOUT THE TIME STONE AND DIDN'T TELL US?!"

"Shut up Clint! Didn't you hear about this planet being decimated?" Natasha snapped.

"At least not all of Thor's people got killed… right?" Scott asked hesitatingly.

"The Avengers?" Quill asked, confused.

"They're Earth's mightiest heroes," Thor explained.

"Like Kevin Bacon!" Mantis said.

"Kevin Bacon? The guy from that really old movie Footloose? Wasn't he also in Apollo 13?" Peter asked curiously.

"Stop calling them old you're making me feel old!" Sam groaned. "Feeling old is Steve and Bucky's job!"

"Hey!" Steve looked rather insulted while Tony and Clint howled with laughter. Bucky glared at all of them, causing Sam to stick his tongue out rather childishly at him. Bucky related by knocking him off the couch and a small fight ensued.

"Can I get a waffle?" Peter asked, struck by inspiration. Everyone was just watching the fight or trying to get them to stop so no one but Shuri heard him.

"Can I please get a waffle?" Shuri died laughing and the Avengers stopped to wonder why she sounded like she was dying.

"He maybe on the team I don't know I haven't been back in a while," Thor said.

"He doesn't even know who Kevin Bacon is!" Wanda laughed.

Steve mentally added 'Kevin Bacon' and 'Footloose' on his list.

"As for the soul stone, no one's ever seen that, no one even knows where it is! Therefore Thanos can't get it, therefore he's going to Knowhere, hence he'll be getting the Reality stone. You're welcome!"

"She knows," Natasha said, taking one look at Gamora's expression when Thor said no one knows where the soul stone is.

"No one is going to talk about how Thor sounds a little insane here?" Tony said, spooked.

"Hey, he just lost his brother, his friend, half his people, and by the sound of it he lost his father not too long ago. Cut him some slack," Sam reprimanded.

"Then we have to go to Knowhere now," Gamora said.

"Wrong! Where we have to go, is Nidavellir," Thor said.

"Where?" Shuri asked.

"One of the nine realms. Supposed to be the realm of the dwarves and they made weapons and stuff there. Like Thor's hammer. What?" Peter asked when they all gave him weird looks. "I read Norse Mythology! Actually, I was more like forced to by my friend MJ," he mumbled as an afterthought.

"That's a made up word!" Drax said.

"All words are made up."

"Can't argue with that," T'Challa said slowly.

"Nidavellir is real? Seriously? That place is a legend they made the most powerful horrific weapons in the universe!" Rocket laughed. "I would very much like to go there please!"

"That reminds me, where's Point Break's hammer?" Tony asked.

"Maybe the big grapefruit destroyed it," Shuri realized. Everyone's blood ran cold, the hammer was supposed to be indestructible!

"The rabbit is correct and clearly the smartest among you," Thor smiled.

"Rabbit?" everyone asked.

"I'd say sneaky, not smart," Bucky said.

"Rabbit?" Rocket asked.

"Only the dwarves can make me the weapon I need. I assume you're the captain sir?" Thor asked Rocket.

"You're very perceptive," Rocket said.

"You seem like a noble leader, will you join me on my quest?"

"Let me just ask the captain. Oh wait! I'm the captain! It's me! So yeah! I'll go," Rocket said.

"Wonderful!"

"Except for that I'm the captain," Quill voiced. "And that's my backpack. Look! This is my ship! And I'm not going to… What kind of weapon are we talking about here?" Quill yelled.

"The Thanos killing kind," Thor shortly replied.

"Good answer," Wanda said.

"Don't you think we should all have a weapon like that?" Quill asked.

"No. You simply lack the strength to wield them, your bodies would crumple and your minds would collapse."

"Is this another worthy thing again? 'Cause that's all bullshit," Clint said.

"Language!" nearly everyone who was in Age of Ultron shouted.

"That was almost three years ago!" Steve groaned.

"We are not letting it go," Clint whispered.

"Is it weird I want to do it even more now?" Rocket asked.

"Yes," Scott said.

"A little," Thor replied.

"If we don't go to Knowhere and Thanos retrieves another stone, he'd be too powerful to stop," Gamora said.

"I got it figured out! We got two ships, and a large assortment of morons! So me and Groot will go with the pirate, and the morons can go to Knowhere to try to stop Thanos. Cool?"

"So cool," Thor said and went inside the pod.

"For the record, I know you're only going with him because it's where Thanos isn't," Quill said.

"You know you really shouldn't talk that way to your captain Quill," Rocket smirked. "Let's go Groot, and put that game away, you'll rot your brain."

"You hear that Shuri?" T'Challa raised an eyebrow at her sister. "Stop messing around with your phone, you'll rot your brain." She mock gasped and threw a handful of popcorn at him.

The three got in the pod and buckled up.

"I bid you farewell and good luck morons," Thor smiled. "Bye!"

"Does he even know what moron means?" Steve asked skeptically.

"Possibly. Thor seems to have become a real smart-alec while he was gone. I remember those good old days when his best insult was 'mortals are so petty and tiny'," Tony said.

The ship detached from the ship and sped away. The screen changed.

Writer-at-Heart0: Thanks for the vines, though I wasn't sure how to incorporate them. Still appreciate your help though!

OneInADramillion: That is a good idea, but I'm not sure which scene would be best and provide enough info on what happened, so unfortunately I won't be doing that.

WizardingWhovian: I forgot to say something about the time, but time is paused in the outside world, thank you for reminding me.

Shogun lord poke burst: I don't ship them, so there's not going to be any romance between the two, but they are definitely besties and will interact a lot.

Kitt: I hope to be, but I'm not sure.

Shiranai Atsune: Of course Rhodey would remember the Tony Stank guy! In the previous chapter they made a bet about Peter being Tony's son, Sam lost. I didn't intend a How I Met Your Mother reference but ok! And yes it takes place after Homecoming, only… eh… a week or so before Infinity War.

Guest: Stan is the man.

Caleb jorgens: YES.

And the million dollar question, will I be continuing this fic? I read the reviews from the Critics United and the guidelines, and I suppose they aren't wrong. However, I noticed lately some of my favorite reaction fanfics have been abandoned for the same reason, all very recent. I'm not sure what's going on here, and I can't be sure if it's a troll, as some of my fans tell me. A lot of people are reading this story and I don't just want to toss it out the window, as I don't want to disappoint my readers. I am torn between wanting to please my readers and wanting to follow the rules. I don't mean to disrespect Stan or Marvel, I just want to write something no one else has followed through in writing.

So, here's my decision, I'm going to continue unless I get an official warning or my story gets taken down. However, I am thinking of condensing the movie descriptions, not putting in so much detail like I do, and cutting out parts that don't have reactions, just summarizing the parts they're reacting to. Is that ok? I'm trying to find a balance here between continuing to write without it being confusing and not being a plagiarist. You know how you find clips from movies on youtube, but they're just bits and pieces put together? I was thinking something along those lines. Thumbs up? Thumbs down?

Anyways, Imma go watch a crash course on vines now. I don't think I used them right.