A/n Sorry that this was such a long time in coming. I have a lot on my plate, but that doesn't mean that I have forgotten or given up on this story. I'm happy that so many of you have reviewed though asking me to update. I also liked the review that was given to me in Spanish because I was able to read it without the aid of Google Translate. Yay! Anyway, 11/17 is the day that I started this chapter just in case anybody was wondering.
Chapter 4
What is deserved
Ren and the director had been right, Kyoko finally had to admit. The response to Nanako was overall a positive one. Even though she hadn't wanted to, Ren had made her look at some online thing where people were commenting on a lot of things about the show.
Midnight Wolfe – Just watched the episode of Detective with Nanako. OMG it was amazing! They better bring back her character!
Dangerzone - Dudes and Dudettes, how about that episode last night? I hear they will bring her character back! #longlivenanako
Boe-Tie-&-Fez – That episode was awesome! Nuff said.
Qwertyui - it wasn't all that *ey roll* I hate Nanako. The nerve of her bullying REN like that!
Needless to say that person had a lot of replies about tolerance, spelling and the fact that it was a TV show. There were a few others that expressed distaste for the character, but Kyoko had learned a long time ago that there was not a way to please everyone.
Since it was not wise to displease the fans, her character was written into the show for a few more episodes. That was how she found herself in the car with Ren and Yashiro going to the set. She was practically a ball of nerves because even though she would get to play against Ren again, it was decided that she was also going to play against other people.
She had expected as much when found out that she would be playing Nanako again. It was logical that they would want to see how she acted with another person, to see if her chemistry with Ren was the only thing that was keeping the scenes interesting. But of all the people in the world why did the person that they chose first have to be the actress that would have been playing the role that she was in had she had been there that day?
'Okay be calm' Kyoko told herself. She caught Ren looking at her in the rear view mirror and the conversation of a few nights ago came back to her. He had revealed the lies he had told her and the pain that he had gone through when he was younger. She still couldn't believe that chance had allowed her to find him again. They had both changed so very much in the years that had gone by since they had met in that forest.
He hadn't looked at her during his confession and she hadn't known what to say about it when he had finally finished. So instead of commenting on any of it she revealed that she was Bo the rooster. That little piece of information shocked Ren enough that he actually looked at her. He wasn't upset at her for keeping a secret from him, but he was suitably surprised.
For about a second there had been silence after she had told him and then Ren laughed. She had thought that it might have been the stress of telling her who he had been and what he had done. Then he had looked at her and said that he had been convinced that the person in the Bo suit was a guy and that he was dense too because, with as eccentric as she had been as Bo, he should have at least had an idea of who it was inside the rooster suit.
They hadn't seen each other again until last night at LME where Ren exposed her to the crazy comments of the fans of the show. It had been several days between the reveal and that, but Ren had called her every day. They had talked about so many things and she was left smiling after each conversation.
Kyoko had never thought that she would call Ren a shy man, but that was how he sounded when she was talking to him on the phone. His voice was always so quiet and his words seemed so carefully chosen. It was as though he thought that she would say what had happened that night was a dream and that he would wake up or perhaps that interpretation was her projecting her own feelings onto him.
A quick glace up allowed Kyoko to see Ren in the mirror without catching his eye, since he was focused on the road. She wondered what was going to happen now. Love had been her enemy for so long that it felt strange not to shudder at the thought of the word. Perhaps it was helped by the fact that Ren seemed to be the more vulnerable one within their relationship.
Kyoko's eyes widened as she realized how much trust and faith that Ren had shown her. He had given her the ability to practically ruin everything that he had worked so hard to create here in Japan. He had kept the fact that he had fallen in love with her a secret and tortured himself with the thoughts that she would not ever return that emotion for him. All the while he stayed by her side, helping her so much along the way, worried, that he might slip up and do something that he couldn't cover up with an excuse that would be acceptable as a teacher. He had managed to go without revealing something that he thought would scare her away forever even though it had hurt him.
She felt tears form in her eyes as she wondered if she truly deserved to be loved. Even with the flaws that he had revealed, Ren was still a good man. She knew that Ren thought that he was irreversibly tainted by his past, but he was a better person than he gave himself credit for and she didn't deserve his love.
"Kyoko-chan?"
Kyoko snapped back to awareness when she heard her name being called by the one that had dominated her thoughts during most of the ride. As she looked into his face she realized that while it was true that she didn't deserve his love, she wasn't selfless enough or foolish enough to give it up. She couldn't welcome it with open arms, due to her own past, but she would try to accept it.
Kyoko was saved from having to explain her thoughts to Ren, by the fact that the filming was to start soon, but she could feel his eyes on her. He was worried because he had seen her crying when he had stopped the car and only her promise to talk with him over dinner allowed them to go on to the set.
The scene with Nanako was to be filmed first and Kyoko tried not to show how nervous she was. Kyoko had only read parts of the script that had been written for this encounter. Most of it was left open, but the reason for meeting was specified. She took a risk by not reading it, but that would undermine the character. She walked over to the props area and made a request. It only took a few seconds to do that and then she made her way over to wardrobe to choose an outfit. She settled on jeans and a t-shirt, and made her way to the stage.
Nanako sat at her desk doing paperwork. It was by far the least fun part of her job, but it had to be done. There was a knock at her door and she didn't even get a chance to call out for the person to enter before the woman burst through the door. Without even greeting her first the woman plopped down on the couch.
"How may I assist you?" Nanako asked continuing to do her paperwork.
"Incompetent woman! Did you not even take the time to read about the reason for my appointment?"
Nanako simply shook her head in reply. "I did read your file, but I seem to have forgotten everything," Nanako really hadn't read the file and all she knew was that this woman was ordered by the court to come here. She could think of several reasons for why that might be.
She heard the woman breathe more rapidly, an obvious sign of anger, and that was her cue to look up.
"You worthless woman! To think you call yourself a professional!" the woman scoffed.
Nanako stood and took a deep breath before turning a glare of pure hatred to the other woman.
"How dare you call me useless! You came to me remember?"
"Well it's not like I wanted to." the woman scoffed. "If I had, had a choice I wouldn't be here with a no name woman like you."
"Well you are here and I would very much appreciate if you would show me some respect in this office," Nanako spat with pure venom.
"Like I would do that with a woman that doesn't even take her job seriously," the woman said just as much venom infused in her words.
"How dare you say that you ugly witch!"
"What did you call me!"
"You heard me. I called you an UGLY WITCH!"
Finally, her patient had become so enraged that she had stopped talking and closed her eyes. Nanako walked over to the door, opened it, and then shut it with enough force that the woman looked at her in shock.
"I am so glad that's over," Nanako sighed, moving back towards her desk, and getting a bottle of water that had been stashed there by the prop master. "Do you want one? Yelling always makes me so thirsty. I mean I try to avoid yelling, but in this case I guess it couldn't be helped."
"What are you-,"
With a shrug Nanako put the cap back on the bottle and practically skipped over to the couch. When she got there she sat down in the personal space of the other woman and grasped her hand. "When you arrived I noticed your red nail polish, what kind is it?"
"Wha-,"
"Is it Ruby Red or Sunset Blush?" Nanako said examining the nails again.
"Don't you have a job to do?" the woman asked, pulling her hand back from Nanako. The words were harsh sounding, but the woman seemed really flustered.
"I already did my job and there is still time in the session so I wanted to have some girl talk."
The woman's puzzled look remained and Nanako saw that she was going to have to explain. Nanako adopted her professional tone and moved away to the other end of the couch. "Inohara-san, you did not want to be here. I knew that I needed to let you express that anger and it served as a fine test. The only part of the file that I read was that you were court ordered here. There are many reasons for that, but due to your anger I felt that someone was trying to take something from you. It was very likely that this was a case concerning a child, because had it just been over a material thing I don't think you would be so enraged nor would they have assigned you to me. After deducing that, I gathered that your anger issues were the matter that had gotten you a session with me. They want to know if you would be dangerous to the child. "
"You could have been certain had you just read the file." Shiko said with a blush.
"That's true, but then that takes away your freedom to tell me what you feel is important. I want you to share information with me, but if I read all the court data you wouldn't have that opportunity."
Shiko's eyes widened at this revelation. "You're right." She paused and looked down before she continued. "This is a battle over my six year old son and my ex-husband wants to take him from me. What will you tell the court about our session?"
"Something along the lines of my opinion is that you are not a danger to the child. I fought with you to see how you would respond and instead of threatening bodily harm you chose to shut down and breathe. Some anger management courses would be recommended, and of course there should be a follow-up session where I observe the child with you, and the one challenging your custody.
"So that was all a test?"
Nanako dropped the professional tone and nodded with a smile. "Now about that nail polish..."
"You are not what I'd expected Kyouko-san," Himiko Kazuya said when they had left the set.
Kyoko blushed and looked down. Without her character to hide behind she felt quite timid. "I'm sorry for fighting with you Himiko-san."
"There is no need for you to apologize. I was wrong to come into the scene so angry. I had a lot of fun though. Just between the two of us, I think that you did a better job with the character than I could have."
Kyoko didn't know what to say to that so she just thanked her.
After the other actress left Kyoko went to watch Ren work. She didn't have another scene until the next day. Later today she had a shoot for Box-R so there was no point in going to school.
Dinner time came far to quickly, and unfortunately for Kyoko, Ren hadn't forgotten that she promised to explain what she had been thinking about in the car on the way to the set.
"Why were you crying this morning?" Ren asked after the silence had filled the room for as long as he could stand.
Kyoko poked at her food, refusing to meet Ren's eyes. "Today when we were in the car I realized how much you trusted me since you told me about your past." Kyoko paused and she saw the confusion on Ren's face so she dredged up the will to continue speaking. "That was when I figured out that I don't deserve you," she said quietly unable to stop the tears that came to her eyes. Now that he knew what she was thinking would he realize that it was the truth? When Ren was quiet for what seemed to be a long time, Kyoko peeked up at him. There was a startled look on his face as though that was the last thing that he had expected to hear from her.
When he caught her gaze, he took a breath and let it out slowly. "What made you think that ?" he asked in a voice that was little louder than a whisper.
"Your you and one day when you are ready the world will know who you are beneath the mask you wear. You're special and I'm not. I'm still just a novice actress and there is nothing important about me. Even my own mother didn't love me so there must have always been something that just made me less than everybody else."
"Maria-chan, Yashiro-san, Takarada-san, Kotonami-san, Hizuri-san, and myself." When Ren saw that he list had gotten Kyoko to look at him with confusion he spoke again. "These are people that care about you. I'm sure that it is not a comprehensive list, but there are at least six people in this world that care about you. When I look at you I see a beautiful young woman has had a tough life and still flourished. But you are right; you don't deserve me."
Ren stood and knelt in front of Kyoko so that he could see her eyes. He hurried to speak not wanting to give her time to reach the wrong conclusions about the words that he had already spoken. "You don't deserve to be weighed down by my past. You don't deserve to put up with the nightmares that I sometimes have about who I was . You don't deserve to deal with my relationship with my parents. You don't deserve what some people will say if we go public with our relationship. You don't deserve any of that, you deserve a better person, and I am sure that there is a lot more about me that you don't deserve to endure, but Kyoko-chan, I love you and I am too selfish a man to push you away. If you don't want me I will let you go," Ren didn't mention the fact that he was sure that he would not fare well if she did that. It wouldn't be fair to her to indicate just how dependent his happiness was on her. "But if you decide that you can care about me despite all of my flaws; I would very much like to be the man that marries you one day because you are special to me."
Kyoko couldn't believe her ears. Ren wanted her forever. There was no doubting the honesty in his eye as he had said those words. There was no going back from here. Even though past experience cautioned her and made her wary, her heart had already made the leap. It was Ren's to hold and protect now.
"Hey what's the matter?" Ren asked gently. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked wondering if the marriage comment had been too much. It was how he felt, but perhaps he shouldn't have mentioned it.
Kyoko shook her head.
"Then what's the matter?" he asked again.
"I'm relieved and scared, but mostly I'm happy," she finished with a smile.
Ren eagerly returned her smile with his own. Then he stood and took her hand silently asking her to do the same. "Can I kiss you?" he asked.
"Yes," she whispered.
He went slowly to give her time to change her mind if she wanted. The kiss was chaste, but for both of them it was nothing short of extraordinary thanks to all the meaning behind it.
Suddenly some music started playing.
"L-O-V-E
What's that spell? What's that spell?
L-O-V-E
You know what that spells.
It spells love. Yeah, love is what that spells.
L-O-V-E that spells love.
That big emotion
Sense of devotion
Constantly causing such a commotion
Wish we could bottle it and sell it as a potion..."
Whatever the next lyrics were remained unknown because Ren picked up his phone. There was only one being in the world that would make that their ring tone voluntarily.
After Kyoko got over the shock she laughed so hard and Ren knew that she would never let him live this moment down.
"What can I do for you today President Idiot." Ren said in a dark tone so dark it was as though he had channeled a demon.
"Oh, so you heard my new ring tone?" Lory asked jovially. "You have to admit it was quite the appropriate choice. Oh is that Mogami-kun I hear in the background?"
"Stop stalling," Ren ordered.
"Alright, alright you grumpy man. Perhaps it is a good thing that Mogami-kun is there. I just called, out of the kindness of my heart, to tell you Kuu is coming back to Japan soon."
"Thanks," Ren said and then hung up. It was rude, but Lory had deserved it for that trick that he pulled.
"Was that President Takarada?" Kyoko asked.
"Yeah, he called to say that.. Hizuri Kuu is coming back to Japan soon. Isn't that terrible? I don't even know what to call the man that passed along that Y-chromosome.
Kyoko reached out and took Ren's hand with her own. "You can call him whatever you want, but as long as you talk to him, I'm sure that he'll be happy."
"What about you? What will you call him?"
"Umm that's... I … he... I'll put away the leftovers!" She practically ran after that announcement.
Ren laughed softly at her actions and followed after her to help.
A/n Sorry for the wait everyone. This chapter just was not working for so long. Thanks to everyone that reviewed faved and followed. It really help motivate me. Anyway I have a few ideas of what to do next, but I would like some input if any of you would be so kind.
Kuu is going to appear in the next chapter because I love writing the man, and I want to know if you all want Julie to come with him.
Also there will be a scene with Nanako and Ren's detective character (can't remember his name as I type this note. (Kinda bad considering I created said character huh?)) Anyway after the scene I want to have something happen here are the options.
1) Something bad happens to Kyoko. That will get an emotional response from Ren and add some drama. It won't be life threatening. (Likely they'd be in character as Setsu and Cain in this option.)
2) Somehow Kyoko ends up with Sho and a) something happens to Kyoko (hurt by Sho or some other force and again not life threatening or therapy inducing) or b) Ren sees her.
3) Pure Fluffy stuff.
Any other suggestions will help out to. Thanks for reading. By the way the song as Lory's ring tone is a song that I made up. It's fitting though, right?
